Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: Karla on October 07, 2013, 05:36:14 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: Karla on October 07, 2013, 05:36:14 PM
Post by: Karla on October 07, 2013, 05:36:14 PM
As I work for a San Francisco company, they had a coming-out process at work; to accomplish this, I wrote up a 'Transition Plan' and was assigned a mentor, another woman who had transitioned at work a couple of years ago.
As The Day approached, I practised in front of the mirror, crammed voice exercises and made a nervous nellie of myself.
The Day dawned cold with driving rain, trees down. 'Good cover' I thought. Woke at 5:30, breakfast at 6, bath 6:30, dressing and redressing. Enormous run in stockings. Put on the black instead, even though it was more appropriate to evenings, not the office... back and forth in front of the mirror... 7:30 now.
Placed my hand on the doorknob of the hotel room, took a few deep breaths, opened it.... and came home.
Work was uneventful. Got some compliments, someone said it was nice to see my smile finally. There were a few people who seemed to avoid me; I never saw them; lol. But otherwise it was business as usual. A few things I learned: in the consulting profession we have to let our confidence show to an often nervous, sometimes negative customer. So it also applies to coming out: just relax and let your confidence show. Sure people are going to read you: especially people who knew you before. So just be positive, enjoy yourself and have fun... and the world will follow along. Oh, and this sounds trite... but be a woman. We cooperate, sit closer, groom each other... you will run into this wherever you go. If you participate, you will be accepted by women at large.
Friday rolled around and I flew to San Francisco, and took advantage of an extended layover to have lunch with Ann of Romantasy Corsets and a mutual friend: a ladies lunch, yakking for hours. They noticed the lost kitten look on my face when we were walking up and down the San Francisco hills... I learned the hard way that 4" heels are fun on level ground but maybe not for strolling in the City. They took me to a shoestore and helped me pick out some Sensible Shoes... ahhhhhhhhhh. :)
Dinner was with the lovely Connie McEntee, (author and fellow geek who posts to Susan's), at a nice Italian Mom n' Pop restaurant near the airport.
Home on the red-eye... thank goodness I sleep well in airplanes. Warm smiles from the ladies who see me every week in the airline lounge in Boston; freshen up in the ladies room, a light breakfast and then on home.
The weekend was similarly paced. Picked up my son and brought him to my aunt's house for the weekend. With my mom many years gone, my aunt has assumed that protective role. She's had a couple of months to adjust to the idea of Karla; the only difference this weekend was a dress instead of jeans and an androgynous plaid flannel shirt. Oh, I should say dresses... I modelled everything I had... everything. She gave me a lot of tips and adjustments, condemned a couple of blouses to the goodwill, gave me a jacket and a scarf. We played scrabble, drank wine, cackled and had a day of girl fun.
Wow.
I'm back at work, still digesting everything. Just about every moment is rich with sensation and meaning. I could never go back.
As The Day approached, I practised in front of the mirror, crammed voice exercises and made a nervous nellie of myself.
The Day dawned cold with driving rain, trees down. 'Good cover' I thought. Woke at 5:30, breakfast at 6, bath 6:30, dressing and redressing. Enormous run in stockings. Put on the black instead, even though it was more appropriate to evenings, not the office... back and forth in front of the mirror... 7:30 now.
Placed my hand on the doorknob of the hotel room, took a few deep breaths, opened it.... and came home.
Work was uneventful. Got some compliments, someone said it was nice to see my smile finally. There were a few people who seemed to avoid me; I never saw them; lol. But otherwise it was business as usual. A few things I learned: in the consulting profession we have to let our confidence show to an often nervous, sometimes negative customer. So it also applies to coming out: just relax and let your confidence show. Sure people are going to read you: especially people who knew you before. So just be positive, enjoy yourself and have fun... and the world will follow along. Oh, and this sounds trite... but be a woman. We cooperate, sit closer, groom each other... you will run into this wherever you go. If you participate, you will be accepted by women at large.
Friday rolled around and I flew to San Francisco, and took advantage of an extended layover to have lunch with Ann of Romantasy Corsets and a mutual friend: a ladies lunch, yakking for hours. They noticed the lost kitten look on my face when we were walking up and down the San Francisco hills... I learned the hard way that 4" heels are fun on level ground but maybe not for strolling in the City. They took me to a shoestore and helped me pick out some Sensible Shoes... ahhhhhhhhhh. :)
Dinner was with the lovely Connie McEntee, (author and fellow geek who posts to Susan's), at a nice Italian Mom n' Pop restaurant near the airport.
Home on the red-eye... thank goodness I sleep well in airplanes. Warm smiles from the ladies who see me every week in the airline lounge in Boston; freshen up in the ladies room, a light breakfast and then on home.
The weekend was similarly paced. Picked up my son and brought him to my aunt's house for the weekend. With my mom many years gone, my aunt has assumed that protective role. She's had a couple of months to adjust to the idea of Karla; the only difference this weekend was a dress instead of jeans and an androgynous plaid flannel shirt. Oh, I should say dresses... I modelled everything I had... everything. She gave me a lot of tips and adjustments, condemned a couple of blouses to the goodwill, gave me a jacket and a scarf. We played scrabble, drank wine, cackled and had a day of girl fun.
Wow.
I'm back at work, still digesting everything. Just about every moment is rich with sensation and meaning. I could never go back.
Title: Re: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: mrs izzy on October 07, 2013, 05:54:29 PM
Post by: mrs izzy on October 07, 2013, 05:54:29 PM
Glad it worked out for you. Full time can be full of adventures.
Take everyday as it comes. Do not let a bad day turn into 2 or more in a row. Brush things off and keep forward progress.
Izzy
Take everyday as it comes. Do not let a bad day turn into 2 or more in a row. Brush things off and keep forward progress.
Izzy
Title: Re: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: Karla on October 07, 2013, 06:00:51 PM
Post by: Karla on October 07, 2013, 06:00:51 PM
Thanks Izzy !
The week previous I had flown as Karla, but went through TSA security en drab. Turns it it was unnecessary; TSA is a snap, according to Sarah West; the only thing to worry about is bigoted airline employees:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1527954.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1527954.stm)
Sarah and I have corresponded, and after she set my mind at rest, I went through security as moi. I smiled at the TSA guy who was looking at my driving licence then up at me, then down then up again, and I asked him, "So... don't I look better now?"
"Y-yes", he grinned and handed my documents back to me, motioning me through the Pre-check lane and the fastest through security in my 10 years of consulting.
The week previous I had flown as Karla, but went through TSA security en drab. Turns it it was unnecessary; TSA is a snap, according to Sarah West; the only thing to worry about is bigoted airline employees:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1527954.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/1527954.stm)
Sarah and I have corresponded, and after she set my mind at rest, I went through security as moi. I smiled at the TSA guy who was looking at my driving licence then up at me, then down then up again, and I asked him, "So... don't I look better now?"
"Y-yes", he grinned and handed my documents back to me, motioning me through the Pre-check lane and the fastest through security in my 10 years of consulting.
Title: Re: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: Constance on October 07, 2013, 09:33:58 PM
Post by: Constance on October 07, 2013, 09:33:58 PM
It was so good to meet with you. You seemed so much more relaxed and happy this time. Congrats, sis, and welcome home!
Title: Re: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: Apples Mk.II on October 10, 2013, 11:28:55 AM
Post by: Apples Mk.II on October 10, 2013, 11:28:55 AM
One week? Damn, you are making me jealous!. 4 days and hopping it will turn into my first full week without going back.
Title: Re: Full Time Week 1, followed by a weekend of wonders
Post by: Karla on October 10, 2013, 11:58:06 AM
Post by: Karla on October 10, 2013, 11:58:06 AM
Good on you, Sprout :)
As they said on Babylon 5, No Surrender, No Retreat.
The thing that I've learned, is that it doesn't matter how much you get 'read'. What matters is how open and accessible you are to cis-gendered women around you... and how comfy they feel with you.
Genetic women; I have discovered, help out and volunteer advice. Even in the ladies room. IMHO, women at large are our _real_ support group.
As they said on Babylon 5, No Surrender, No Retreat.
The thing that I've learned, is that it doesn't matter how much you get 'read'. What matters is how open and accessible you are to cis-gendered women around you... and how comfy they feel with you.
Genetic women; I have discovered, help out and volunteer advice. Even in the ladies room. IMHO, women at large are our _real_ support group.
Quote from: Apple Sprout on October 10, 2013, 11:28:55 AM
One week? Damn, you are making me jealous!. 4 days and hopping it will turn into my first full week without going back.