Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I had GRS with Dr Bowers in 2010.  Her dilation instructions at the time only went through the first year.  I had the impression that after that I could dilate just occasionally.  When things closed down a bit after going 9 days without dilation 15 months after surgery, I had to drop back a size to work them open again and called her office.  They said I should dilate every day for the rest of my life.  When I asked what would happen if I stopped, they said my vagina would close up.

I just saw Dr Nguyen.  He said that after a year or so, everything should be stable and I shouldn't have to dilate.  He said the vagina wouldn't close up.

I read here that Dr Brassard says to dilate once a week for life.

I know that penetrative sex counts as a dilation, but I don't have it and don't want it.  That isn't the issue.  I didn't mind dilation in the beginning.  It was part of the deal to get the vagina.  But life goes on.  Currently I dilate three times a week.  I wouldn't mind once a week, but I'm not willing to do it daily forever.

What is your experience?  What does your doctor say?  Do you still dilate daily X years after surgery?

- Kate ???

After the 1 year mark it is 1 x a week with the orange monster guage for 15 min the rest of my life or i can replace by intercourse. I am hoping for the intercourse part the most lol...
I am a Montreal girl.
That is what i was told and will do. Once a week to keep things in shape is least one can do without any effect on ones life or schedule.

Izzy

Forever. Dr. McGinn recommends at least 1 time per week after 1 year post-op... forever. I'll probably go twice per week to be on the safe side. Also regular intercourse with a cis-male is not the same thing. I have a cis-male boyfriend, and the feeling and result is much different compared to dilation.

Yep... these things require a good deal of maintenance and upkeep.

I am a much more recent (9 months) Bowers girl, and my discharge instructions DID say it was "reccommended" to dilate everyday, world without end amen, from now until death do me part, but I have found that even now if I miss one day, I have no issues if I get back on the track soon.  The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.  My prospects of having a viagra-able male at my age are pretty slim, but while a nuisance, I will try and keep the daily routine, but not be a fanatic about it.  If you regained after losing circumference, nuisance not loss. 

Quote from: Vicky on October 11, 2013, 01:09:47 AM
I am a much more recent (9 months) Bowers girl, and my discharge instructions DID say it was "reccommended" to dilate everyday, world without end amen, from now until death do me part, but I have found that even now if I miss one day, I have no issues if I get back on the track soon.  The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.  My prospects of having a viagra-able male at my age are pretty slim, but while a nuisance, I will try and keep the daily routine, but not be a fanatic about it.  If you regained after losing circumference, nuisance not loss.

Don't underestimate yourself, Toots!  ;)

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on October 11, 2013, 01:48:49 AM
Don't underestimate yourself, Toots!  ;)

Do I detect a volunteer!!!!!! ::) :o

I'm pre-op, but know some post-ops very well.  Please take dilating very seriously and listen to your surgeon's advice.   One of my friends missed a few days early on and things never were never the same since.  It sounds like an annoying chore to my pre-op ears, but it is a necessary one (if you want to keep the great results).  I wouldn't leave anything to chance. 

P.S.  I'm super jealous of you all.

Quote from: learningtolive on October 11, 2013, 01:59:55 AM
I'm pre-op, but know some post-ops very well.  Please take dilating very seriously and listen to your surgeon's advice.   One of my friends missed a few days early on and things never were never the same since.  It sounds like an annoying chore to my pre-op ears, but it is a necessary one (if you want to keep the great results).  I wouldn't leave anything to chance. 

P.S.  I'm super jealous of you all.

Oh you and me both and lots of other women here!!!

Quote from: Cindy on October 11, 2013, 01:53:52 AM
Do I detect a volunteer!!!!!! ::) :o

I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   ;)

She might even get a steak dinner out of it!  :o

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on October 11, 2013, 02:11:04 AM
I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   ;)

She might even get a steak dinner out of it!  :o

Now I'm jealous! You are my favourite silver fox and you know it!!!!

:-*

Quote from: Vicky on October 11, 2013, 01:09:47 AM
The different doctors do use different techniques, and I suspect that each one's job requires a different regimen based on what was opened, shut, stretched, snipped or sewn.

Good point, Vicky.  Dr. Bowers gave me my life and I will be eternally grateful, but I didn't understand the long-term commitment of daily dilation.  I dilate for 15 minutes three times a week now using the brown (orange?) Mr Big without a problem.  Circumference is not a problem, but I'm losing depth.  I also have spotting after every dilation.  I went to Nguyen to see if he could stop the spotting after dilation but he couldn't find the source of the bleeding. 

Perhaps I just need to change my attitude about the whole thing, accept the limitations, be grateful for what I have, and get on with my life - my new, wonderful life.

- Kate

PS to Vicky: I was 66 when I had GRS.  I was sure that with my age and my background (living male until age 65, transsexual, etc.) I would live alone for the rest of my life.  But I have fallen in love with a wonderful woman who loves me deeply.  Hang in there girl.  You never know what delights will come your way once you can be your true self. :icon_flower:

Keep dilating, seriously. I regret to have slacked on that. My doc said to dilate or have it with a boyfriend weekly for ever. At first that worked fine for me, with time i got lazy and went to monthly with a dilator way too small.
So if its 3 times a week for now, keep that schedule, in some months or a year you can surely try carefully to get to the weekly schedule that everyone seems to suggest.

Well it could be argued by some that as I am AIS and therefore not properly trans things might be a little different - but I actually had a broadly similar operation to you girls, when I was a young adult around 30 years ago...

Fact is for the last ten years I have not been sexually active. During all that time I only dilated very occasionally (one a week or less) to keep a check on things. Despite this I've absolutely no evidence of ever having lost any capacity to stretch over that time (I have a hugely elastic lining to my vagina).

In fact a few years ago I bought myself a couple of soul source - the blue and the orange. 30 years on from my original op both will go in with ease past all the dimples and right up to the hilt. It surprises me when I read people complaining about Mr Orange being a challenge because I reckon that like most natal females I could almost certainly stretch to around twice that diameter if needed. Clearly that isnt the case for many, which I find genuinely quite surprising, because my Op was done a long time ago, and I would have imagined that surgical techniques were a lot more sophisticated now than they were back then.

I've recently got a new man - and sex is wonderful - So no, I'm certainly not dilating for life, and from the evidence of the last 30 years I would say I absolutely don't need to.

Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on October 11, 2013, 02:11:04 AM
I am just an outrageous flirt, and you know it.

Besides, if I was going to hook up with Vicky, it would have to be at the piano bar in the Northwoods Restaurant, on Huntington at Rosemead.   ;)

She might even get a steak dinner out of it!  :o

They no longer have the piano in there, but I was literally in that place last night!!  OMG!!  Bar I can't do (in fact last night was my 5th sobriety birth day) but throwing the peanut shells on the floor is fun after you take the peanuts out of them!!   I can be cheap about it and go to The Boat (Clearmans Galley) for a chili size too!!

Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does! ;D

Quote from: Doctorwho? on October 11, 2013, 05:37:39 PM
I would have imagined that surgical techniques were a lot more sophisticated now than they were back then.

You would think so, but perhaps many of the advances have been in the cosmetics and healing of the surgery. ???

Quote from: Northern Jane on October 12, 2013, 11:29:30 AM
Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does! ;D

I hope to get there someday, but for now it's just uncomfortable and a bit painful.  I'll keep working at it.  I look forward to the day when it is a joy. :icon_joy:

- Kate

Quote from: Northern Jane on October 12, 2013, 11:29:30 AM
Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does! ;D

THAT is an encouraging post! I won't forget it. <insert big smile>

Quote from: Northern Jane on October 12, 2013, 11:29:30 AM
Excuse me but after a certain point in time "dilation" simply becomes masturbation so lay back and ENJOY! The rest of the world does! ;D

Nope never in a million years will these hard plastic things ever do anything for me. Maybe for me it is a mental thing?

Izzy

Hey, no one said you have to use the originals in the long run. there is a good variety of toys out there that certainly will work for long term "maintentance", or not?

Quote from: anjaq on October 12, 2013, 08:28:35 PM
Hey, no one said you have to use the originals in the long run. there is a good variety of toys out there that certainly will work for long term "maintentance", or not?

Hmmm I think you may have just given me an idea.  8)

The answer is yes and no... A vaginal stent (to give it it's proper name) does have a particular profile which is different to a lot of dildo's and the shape and size does matter... - however I can see no fundamental reason that one could not make a hollow example of something like the soul-source orange and incorporate a vibe.

Now who do I know who manufactures medical accessories...

LOL - I would buy one if I ever manage to get to orange and it does not hurt.
But really - do you think for the long term maintenance you still need the dilator profile, or is the shape a bit less critical later on? My doc said it woul dbe fine to masturbate or have sex with a guy weekly or more to have it all stay in shape, but I dont trust him as he did not tell me about dilation directly pre-op either. Probably he assumed I know that already, but gave me the impresison that I just need vibrators or sex now. Well - I see now where that got me now. Dilating painfully 13 years post op :( ...

I had SRS with Dr Suporn a year and a half ago.... I usually dilate when I feel like it at this point, once a week or once every 10 days... naturally, it takes a few minutes more if I go 10 days, but it isn't bad, and I'm still at 6 inches x 34 mm diameter. Frankly, I enjoy dilating these days.... it's a nice little time to yourself, flop out on the bed, browse on the laptop, listen to some music, tune out... I could do it in 30 min flat, but sometimes an hour just passes by in a nice half doze and I don't mind that at all! :D Once a day in perpetuity is ludicrous, and I wouldn't believe it.

Quote from: GendrKweer on October 13, 2013, 05:49:17 AM
I had SRS with Dr Suporn a year and a half ago.... I usually dilate when I feel like it at this point, once a week or once every 10 days... naturally, it takes a few minutes more if I go 10 days, but it isn't bad, and I'm still at 6 inches x 34 mm diameter. Frankly, I enjoy dilating these days.... it's a nice little time to yourself, flop out on the bed, browse on the laptop, listen to some music, tune out... I could do it in 30 min flat, but sometimes an hour just passes by in a nice half doze and I don't mind that at all! :D Once a day in perpetuity is ludicrous, and I wouldn't believe it.

^^ This! ^^

I have to say that both as an ULTRA longterm (30 years plus) AIS postie - and as a trainee clinician I would say this is 100% spot on!

And yes I think the form does matter... you certainly don't have to use it every day or even every week, but now and again I don't think it's a bad thing to remind your body what shape things should be in.

Once a day does sound like a lot to do forever! I have to admit, though, I've surprised myself a bit - at the one year mark I went down to four times a week, and while I'm supposed to be slowly reducing to get to once a week (for 15 minutes with the Giant Orange) forever, I'm currently content at this point. 15 minutes every other day isn't so bad right now!

I also do sometimes use a vibrator first, to make it easier to relax if I'm feeling especially tight that day. I figure the dilation requirements are a minimum, and I can add more time/toys on top of that as long as I do get the 15 minutes with orange in. :)

I wonder if anyone cares what there doctor suggests?

My doctor said after 1 year (from month 6-12 its 1 x a day) to work it down to 1 x week for life. Your doctor might have told you what they suggest.

But what do doctors know anyway.

I really do not see the big deal, but it comes down to you. For me i wish to keep it in the best shape i can. Wish it was easier but a small price to pay.

Izzy

Izzy : I care, and I do plan to get down to once a week eventually. :) But the instructions from Brassard (I know you went to him too) actually do leave it up to us after the one-year mark, and I figure "too much" is not going to be a problem anyway.

This along with the need to eventually replace breast implants if you have them are a couple of the things these surgeons routinely fail to divulge going into it lest they scare a prospective source of income off. Too bad, they should be more forthcoming although none of that should scare off anyone serious about their transition.

Other surgeons don't tell people about dilation?? I guess I should be grateful Brassard had that information (and schedule) both on his web site and in his informational packet. It didn't come as a surprise to me by that point, but it was still useful to see the precise schedule.

From Brassard's information, in case it helps anyone else :

Post operative dilation and douching instructions

Dilations

Healing after a vaginoplasty lasts one year.  Keep in mind that the
success of this surgery depends on maintaining the length, girth and
depth of your new vagina.  To achieve this, you need a set of 4
dilators and respect the instructions below. Do not stop dilations
without advising your surgeon.  Stopping dilations will cause the loss
of the vaginal canal and is irreversible without further surgery (skin
grafts or bowel transposition).

Relaxing

Relaxing is the key step.  It will make dilations much easier.  Taking
ten slow deep breaths before beginning is one good way to get rid of
tension.

Angle

After you have localized the vaginal opening with a mirror, insertion
should be made for the 2 first inches with a slightly downwards 15°
angle.  Do not go directly towards the rectum.  After that the angle
should be corrected so that the dilator becomes almost parallel to the
bed while trying to aim at the navel.

Pressure

Insertion should always be gentle and slow.  When the dilator is
inside the vagina for the entire length, apply constant not forceful
pressure.  Gaining depth by applying more pressure is not advised.

Dilation instructions

Wash your hands

The first day of your dilations, the attending nurse will show you
every step of the process.

-       Hold dilator #1 like a pen

-       Apply about one teaspoon of lubricant gel on the tip of the dilator

-       Insert at a slight downward angle for the 2 first inches

-       Leave dilator inside 5 minutes; remove slowly

-       Repeat with dilator #2 for 15 minutes

The second day of dilation can be more difficult because of swelling
that sets inside the vagina during the night. It is perfectly normal.
Be patient.

You should gently and frequently wipe out the gel that is coming out
at the bottom of the vagina.

Wait 3 months before having intercourse.



DILATION SCHEDULE

At the residence

You should dilate 4 times per day.

Day of traveling

You should at least dilate once before leaving the residence.  If you
have time, dilate more that once before your departure.  Even if you
have a long day of traveling and you cannot dilate for hours, you
should plan on doing at least one dilation when you arrive at home.
Please be active on the plane.  Walk as much as you can.

Home

Resume your schedule as soon as possible.

At home, you should dilate 4 times per day with, #1, #2 for 5, 15
minutes for one month.

Dilate 3 times per day with #1, #2, #3 for 5, 10, 15 minutes for two months.

Dilate twice a day with #2, #3, #4, for 5, 10, 15 minutes for 3 months

Dilate once a day with #3, #4, for 5, 15 minutes for 6 months.

Slowly increase the interval of time between each dilation until you
reach one dilation per week with #4, for 15 minutes for the rest of
your life.

If you have difficulties with a bigger size dilator, wait before you
are comfortable with this one before using a bigger size.  You can go
back to a smaller size and increase the frequency for a few days.


CARE FOR DILATORS

Wash the dilators after each use with non-abrasive antibacterial soap
in warm water and dry thoroughly.  Do not wash them in the dishwasher
or clean with alcohol.  This could damage them.

While at the convalescence home, the dilators are kept in Hibitane,
Dexidin 4 or  Hiciclens 4  to find in pharmacy.  25ml of solution in
one gallon of demineralised water) Use one or the other solution.
After 2 months, store them in a clean and dry place between dilations.

In two months, stop: vaginal douche, soaking your dilators and sitz bath.

The Polysporin cream is for 10 days.

Maintain at least 2 hours intervals between dilations (from the time
you finish one and the time you do another one, 2 hours minimum.



DOCHING INSTRUCTIONS

Vaginal douches are to remove remains (sloughing) should be done every
morning and evening.  Douche first thing in the morning before your
first dilation and the last thing at night after your last dilation.

-       Re-use same applicator

-       Insert the applicator 2 to 3 inches deep

-       Squeeze hard to give a good spray inside the vaginal cavity

-       Refill the bottle with a solution of ¼ of a cup of vinegar in
1 gallon of demineralised water and fill up your bottle everyday or
use disposable douches.

Douche twice daily for the first two months.  By then the return
should be clear.  After two months, stop douching long term.  Douching
will alter the vaginal natural flora and cause imbalance.  This is why
douching is not recommended as a routine after two months.

After that if you experience an unusual discharge and odor, you can
resume douching twice daily to correct the bacterial imbalance.  If
there is no improvement after a few days, you can try an alternate
solution with Betadine (one part in 3 parts of water), if you are not
allergic to iodine or shellfish.  If it does not correct the problem,
make an appointment with your primary care doctor.


TYPICAL DAY SCHEDULE

8am                        Breakfast

9am                        Shower and vaginal douche

1030am                 1st dilation

Noon                      Lunch

130pm                     2nd dilation

3pm                        1st sitz bath

4pm                        3rd dilation

530pm                        Supper

Evening                 2nd sits bath

                                 4th dilation

Before bedtime: Vaginal douche

It is very important when you are in bed to leave your genital parts air open.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 13, 2013, 12:03:29 PM
Other surgeons don't tell people about dilation?? I guess I should be grateful Brassard had that information (and schedule) both on his web site and in his informational packet. It didn't come as a surprise to me by that point, but it was still useful to see the precise schedule.


Slowly increase the interval of time between each dilation until you
reach one dilation per week with #4, for 15 minutes for the rest of
your life.

Unfortunately this part is either not mentioned or not heard. I had a pre-op consultation with Marcie Bowers a long time ago and none of that was mentioned. Perhaps it would have been brought up post-op I don't know, but it should be a big subject of discussion right up front. I hate after thought surprises! Although it stands to reason because genetic males are all muscle and don't have the cavity that genetic females do so obviously it's going to collapse and grow shut. Sometimes in our drive for full transition we only hear and see what we want, it's probably important to ask a lot of questions.

Shantel : Wow. Again, I'm amazed there are any surgeons who aren't informing people properly. Of course, you're probably also right about people not hearing - I know for a fact that there are women who went to Brassard, signed the same release paperwork I did and had the same "information interview" I did, and still swear they had no idea certain complications were possible. I can only conclude that "informed consent" works best when both parties are participating fully!

I wonder if it also stems from the fact that *some* post-op women are able to give up dilation permanently after enough years have passed, and so some people must hope that's the expected outcome for themselves as well. It clearly is the case for a few women, but it's far from guaranteed, and every surgeon should make that clear. (Unless there really are some who believe dilation isn't lifelong? I don't know of any, but the dilation schedules/plans vary enough that there may be one, I guess.)

Brassard's informed-consent forms include the fact that you will no longer have a penis afterward, so I guess I shouldn't have assumed people will know *anything* about the process going into it, too. :)

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 13, 2013, 12:03:29 PM
Other surgeons don't tell people about dilation?? I guess I should be grateful Brassard had that information (and schedule) both on his web site and in his informational packet.

Thanks for the information. I could have needed that back then. Now i have to work with what I can. To be fair, I somehow imagine that my surgeon normally does tell his patients more. For me it was a bit problematic. The main reason was that i was not able or allowed to dilate for 6 months post-op due to severe complications. So the usual procedure of taking out the stent, then giving instructions on how to deal with it all was cut off and I was back on the OP table and in no condition to hear instructions after that if they had been given except that I was actually not supposed to do anything at this point that could increase the complications. I remember that I was told either at that stage or later after the second revision that basically I should do something once a week - either have intercourse or get a vibrator and that it cannot harm if I do it more often and the doc grinned and said "and why wouldnt you, it is fun, right" or something like that. I have a colon graft in addition to the regular inversion procedure as a result, so I suspect somehow that things are a bit different - at least I did have proper depth and width after that second revision even though I did basically not much in the first 6 months and I kind of assumed that this would just keep going like that, but it turns out I was wrong  and not only was 1x a week not enough, he also failed to give instructions on the sizes needed, so I just got a regular vibrator, had fun with it regularly and that was ok, slightly painful at times. But that meant that I got used to that size and not something bigger, which causes me problems now, that I am not sure I can resolve, but I hope I might, given that my body seems to be rather ok with that opening - from what I hear I am supposed to basically have nothing left now after what I did (or did not). Still, I have anxiety and fear and worry a lot, so yeah - just sticking with a good schedule is all worth it..

Quote from: Shantel on October 13, 2013, 12:58:38 PM
Although it stands to reason because genetic males are all muscle and don't have the cavity that genetic females do so obviously it's going to collapse and grow shut. Sometimes in our drive for full transition we only hear and see what we want, it's probably important to ask a lot of questions.

Well I think part of what my surgeon did was to create a cavity by burning tissue (which also probably is what caused the complications). So it seems to collapse slower with me, it may also be because of my rather wide pelvis, IDK. But yeah - I guess for me it was a bit that I tried to not be trans and somehow "forgot" that I need to do this once a week at least and not just once every two months.

So again - really - once a week should really be a minimum, unless you actually tried it and found you can stretch the intervals without any effect.

Anjaq : Wow, that all sounds terrifying!! I'm glad you came through it mostly OK. I do see the colon procedure often touted as requiring no dilation, so maybe that carries over to a hybrid version such as you had? Also Brassard did specify that it's fairly easy to gain/regain width but that depth is generally lost for good. So you may be fortunate if it's primarily a width issue.

(Also, men and women do usually have the "space" in their abdominal cavity; the real issue is that the body treats the new vagina as a wound and tries to heal it. My personal speculation is that just like some people can get ear or body piercings and have them stop trying to heal closed after a few years and some can't, some probably can get away with less dilation than others. It probably depends on how assiduously a given body tries to "fix" things.)

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 13, 2013, 07:20:39 PM

(Also, men and women do usually have the "space" in their abdominal cavity; the real issue is that the body treats the new vagina as a wound and tries to heal it. My personal speculation is that just like some people can get ear or body piercings and have them stop trying to heal closed after a few years and some can't, some probably can get away with less dilation than others. It probably depends on how assiduously a given body tries to "fix" things.)

That's the best analogy for the problem, you are probably correct!

@ As Anjac commented about wanting to forget being trans, I recently read an article about how occasionally cis women discover that they are unable to accommodate their spouse on their honeymoon and wind up having to dilate, something that was a surprising revelation to me, so this isn't just something relegated to trans women only which may be comforting to know.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 13, 2013, 11:24:21 AM
Izzy : I care, and I do plan to get down to once a week eventually. :) But the instructions from Brassard (I know you went to him too) actually do leave it up to us after the one-year mark, and I figure "too much" is not going to be a problem anyway.

"Slowly increase the interval of time between each dilation until you
reach one dilation per week with #4, for 15 minutes for the rest of
your life." Dr. Brassards dilation schedule.

This is why i say it is for me a life time thing. As anything in life it is everyones body and they need to do what they feel is right. so that is my answer to the original OPs question.

I think maybe many do not understand bodies and how things works. In terms that most can undersand it is like having your ears pierced. If you keep something in they stay open, if you stop for a long time they get harder to put things in or at some point they will close back up. The body sees SRS as a wound and nothing more or less and it will do everything in its power to put things back to they way they where before. So that is why we dialate, no other reason. It is one totaly unpleasent, unpersonal act you can think of but it is the price of admission.

Ok my litte rant:
Its funny i knew years ago what all this was about. All the facts of HRT, SRS and after. There has nothing that i have done that has been a suprise. I have accepted that there could be good and bad in this entire transition. I have not ran into it blind, i totaly see the benefis of the gatekeepers and i also can say i never was in a race. Today i see so many who are starting today but what to be finished up tommorrow. I see so many who are so tightly wound they are about to explode. I see also many who are here to learn and try to understand things. I see other who just talk to talk. Oh and there are the do not tell me i know everything. I also see others who are having complications with there SRS and i feel for them. I wish that complications were a thing of the past but they still happen. I hate to tell everyone SRS is a Major, major surgery that requires many, many hours of your time in the healing process. Again the price of admission.

Izzy

Edit. The rant is not personal or a attack on anyone. Just a few of my Observations i have made in my transition life.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 13, 2013, 07:20:39 PM
Anjaq : Wow, that all sounds terrifying!! I'm glad you came through it mostly OK. I do see the colon procedure often touted as requiring no dilation, so maybe that carries over to a hybrid version such as you had? Also Brassard did specify that it's fairly easy to gain/regain width but that depth is generally lost for good. So you may be fortunate if it's primarily a width issue.

Yeah thanks. dont wanted to hijack the thread with my story. It was horrifying and seriously impacted me more than I wanted to acknowledge then. Like you know - waking up after SRS and recover, the really great feeling of it being over setting in, and then wham back to the OP table and getting a colon surgery and all that. So I am actually kind of lucky I guess that after 13 years of only rarely dilating I "only" lost an inch of depth plus a certain amount of width. It is presently a pain (literally) to try and get this back. Thats why I say - dont slack on dilating even if it sucks, it sucks even more to get into my situation.

Quote from: Shantel on October 13, 2013, 07:42:54 PM
@ As Anjac commented about wanting to forget being trans, I recently read an article about how occasionally cis women discover that they are unable to accommodate their spouse on their honeymoon and wind up having to dilate,

Yeah - the companies selling GRS dilators are also selling vaginal dilators for women that had no GRS but have some issues. For them its a temporary issue though, I believe, nothing lifelong.

Quote from: mind is quiet now on October 13, 2013, 10:49:36 PM
Ok my litte rant:
Its funny i knew years ago what all this was about. All the facts of HRT, SRS and after. There has nothing that i have done that has been a suprise. I have accepted that there could be good and bad in this entire transition. I have not ran into it blind, i totaly see the benefis of the gatekeepers and i also can say i never was in a race. Today i see so many who are starting today but what to be finished up tommorrow. I see so many who are so tightly wound they are about to explode. I see also many who are here to learn and try to understand things. I see other who just talk to talk. Oh and there are the do not tell me i know everything. I also see others who are having complications with there SRS and i feel for them. I wish that complications were a thing of the past but..... Hate to tell everyone SRS is a Major, major surgery that requires many, many hours of your time in the healing process. Again the price of admission.

Yeah - I knew the risks and knew I might have them, it still always sucks as of course you always hope you are not among the unlucky few. I paid my "price of admission" and I guess in a way it strengthened my faith in this being still the right thing for me as even though I had all this ->-bleeped-<- happening to me, I did not feel regrets over it, so I am quite sure that I did nothing that was not for me. I even knew about dilating before, but not the details. There were not that many post ops in our TG support group and only some info online (It was the 1990ies). What I heard from others was that you have to dilate, frequently so in the first year and that they got dilators from their surgeons. So I was kind of surprised at what the doc said then, which I basically understood to somehow fit into what I knew but sounded way less strict. So in case this was a bit targeted at me, yes I was in a hurry to get things over with, I personally now think it was because of my transition age which was 23 and which I was told was pretty early for the 1990ies. If you are a bit older I guess things are more planned and a few months more do not matter, at 23 I was kind of impulsive. Still I knew very well the procedures and risks, just some details eluded me and honestly in terms of how to do post op care, I relied on the doc to tell me. That I slacked with it later on was absolutely my own fault and stupidity though, probably if I had stayed at the 2x weekly intercourse schedule that he suggested (He basically assumed that I will at my age certainly find a BF soon and then dilation would be a nonissue if I just made out with him regularly), I probably would not have the issues now.
So I must say in these times now, information is much more available and techniques are much better, so I guess for those transitioning now it is probably easier than 15 years ago.

I have always understood that my body would treat the neo-vagina as a wound, and so I would have to dilate to keep it open.  I followed the surgeon's instructions to the letter through the first year.  There were no instructions beyond the first anniversary.  Because I was older – late 60s – I figured that my body would heal more slowly, so I kept going.  I read comments on this forum that mentioned dilating only now and then, a couple times a month, etc.  Whenever I dropped back more than 4 or 5 days I would have problems, so I kept going.

Around my third anniversary, things got easier.  Once started, the dilator would slide in easily, and I wouldn't have to work too much to get the last half inch.  I figured I was soon going to be able to slack off and dilate only twice a week or less, but I wasn't there yet.

Part of my problems are self-inflicted.  (Can we all say that, or is it just many of us?)  Because no SRS surgeon was nearby, and the gynecologists in the area didn't have experience with trans-women, I let it go.  Finally I traveled to see Dr Bowers for a consult.  She assured me that she could fix me up, but I'd have to stay in San Mateo for several weeks or a month.  I wasn't willing to do that.

I went to Dr Nguyen, who is a little closer, but I got a bad feeling about him and was reluctant to go back. 

I think one reason I was getting a bad attitude about having to dilate is that my life as a woman is wonderful.  I am relaxing into it and wanting to put the fact that I am trans behind me.  (Yeah, right.)  But I still have issues with my vagina.  Dilating has always irritated some of the skin at the opening, regardless of how much lubricant I put on.  When my partner touches it, it is either uncomfortable or painful – never pleasurable.  I have always gotten some blood out after dilating.  (The blood stops after a little while.)  Now it is just light spotting, but it just seems that after 3½ years the skin in there should be healed.  With the continued rawness and bleeding, any touching of the area during sex play does not bring pleasure.

Finally today I went to my regular gynecologist.  I had only seen her once before and had the impression then that she had never seen a trans-woman before.  She was wonderful for me today.  I am so glad I finally saw her and got over this feeling that I needed to see an SRS gynecologist.

This woman explained to me that many post-menopausal cis-women have to dilate twice a week if they aren't having an active sex life but want to keep the capability.  That made me feel a lot better.  She also is confident that she can heal the small tears in the vagina and that we can loosen the skin near the opening so that it isn't irritated by the dilator.  (She can do some surgery if need-be but wants to try some other things first.)  I think this woman can help me get to the point where I don't resent dilating.

Thank you so much for this discussion.  Keep the thread going.  I'm finding it very helpful.  This is an aspect of the process that often, in our rush to be whole, we don't talk about.

- Kate :icon_flower:

Quote from: K8 on October 14, 2013, 06:52:22 PM
I have always understood that my body would treat the neo-vagina as a wound, and so I would have to dilate to keep it open.  I followed the surgeon's instructions to the letter through the first year.  There were no instructions beyond the first anniversary.  Because I was older – late 60s – I figured that my body would heal more slowly, so I kept going.  I read comments on this forum that mentioned dilating only now and then, a couple times a month, etc.  Whenever I dropped back more than 4 or 5 days I would have problems, so I kept going.

Around my third anniversary, things got easier.  Once started, the dilator would slide in easily, and I wouldn't have to work too much to get the last half inch.  I figured I was soon going to be able to slack off and dilate only twice a week or less, but I wasn't there yet.

Part of my problems are self-inflicted.  (Can we all say that, or is it just many of us?)  Because no SRS surgeon was nearby, and the gynecologists in the area didn't have experience with trans-women, I let it go.  Finally I traveled to see Dr Bowers for a consult.  She assured me that she could fix me up, but I'd have to stay in San Mateo for several weeks or a month.  I wasn't willing to do that.

I went to Dr Nguyen, who is a little closer, but I got a bad feeling about him and was reluctant to go back. 

I think one reason I was getting a bad attitude about having to dilate is that my life as a woman is wonderful.  I am relaxing into it and wanting to put the fact that I am trans behind me.  (Yeah, right.)  But I still have issues with my vagina.  Dilating has always irritated some of the skin at the opening, regardless of how much lubricant I put on.  When my partner touches it, it is either uncomfortable or painful – never pleasurable.  I have always gotten some blood out after dilating.  (The blood stops after a little while.)  Now it is just light spotting, but it just seems that after 3½ years the skin in there should be healed.  With the continued rawness and bleeding, any touching of the area during sex play does not bring pleasure.

Finally today I went to my regular gynecologist.  I had only seen her once before and had the impression then that she had never seen a trans-woman before.  She was wonderful for me today.  I am so glad I finally saw her and got over this feeling that I needed to see an SRS gynecologist.

This woman explained to me that many post-menopausal cis-women have to dilate twice a week if they aren't having an active sex life but want to keep the capability.  That made me feel a lot better.  She also is confident that she can heal the small tears in the vagina and that we can loosen the skin near the opening so that it isn't irritated by the dilator.  (She can do some surgery if need-be but wants to try some other things first.)  I think this woman can help me get to the point where I don't resent dilating.

Thank you so much for this discussion.  Keep the thread going.  I'm finding it very helpful.  This is an aspect of the process that often, in our rush to be whole, we don't talk about.

- Kate :icon_flower:

And i thank you for this. I am only at just over my 6 month mark and yes dilations are a part i hate but i know it is whats needed. Now that i only have to do dilations 1 x a day with the green and orange it is better. I have to do things a little slower but i get through them.

I have heard that things get better down there between month 6 to month 9. I am not sure for me if that will hold true. My PC muscle is still so tight and fights back each time.

Please keep us updated on things as they progress. I also have a good GP that i can ask any question i have. Its always good to have that local go to person. (I am a little lucky, i live in Montreal so if i need to see DR. B its just a phone call away.)

Hugs
Izzy

UPDATE: I've been working with my gynecologist.  I'm pretty sure that mine is the only neo-vagina she's ever seen, but I've found her very helpful.  I no longer bleed after dilation and don't have to wear a pad.  Dilation is now rarely painful and is actually becoming almost easy.  I'm hopeful she will get me where I want to be. 

A lesson to myself: I don't need to go to a surgeon who specializes in transsexuals but can go to a decent gynecologist like any other woman.

- Kate

Quote from: K8 on February 06, 2014, 05:10:48 PM
UPDATE: I've been working with my gynecologist.  I'm pretty sure that mine is the only neo-vagina she's ever seen, but I've found her very helpful.  I no longer bleed after dilation and don't have to wear a pad.  Dilation is now rarely painful and is actually becoming almost easy.  I'm hopeful she will get me where I want to be. 

A lesson to myself: I don't need to go to a surgeon who specializes in transsexuals but can go to a decent gynecologist like any other woman.

- Kate

Can you kiss and tell. LOL.. Any tips you could share?
Isabell

Quote from: mind is quiet now on February 06, 2014, 06:29:45 PM
Can you kiss and tell. LOL.. Any tips you could share?
Isabell

Specifics, if you want them:  She is having me dilate daily in the shower - just in as far as it will go and then remove it.  After the shower I put a little estrogen cream on the sore spots at the narrow place where the vagina goes through the pubic bone.  (I'm going to stop doing that now and see how it goes.)  I insert a prescribed amount of the estrogen cream deep into the vagina the night before a regular dilation (the 15-minute kind).

Very helpful to me was that she told me that my needs are not unusual.  She says that many (cis-)women my age who are not having regular penetrative sex need to dilate regularly if they want to maintain the ability for it.

(It took me a while to get comfortable dilating standing in the shower.  I dropped back a size for that until I had the technique figured out.  I use the regular dilator now.)

I hope this helps.
- Kate

Quote from: K8 on February 07, 2014, 12:52:58 PM
Specifics, if you want them:  She is having me dilate daily in the shower - just in as far as it will go and then remove it.  After the shower I put a little estrogen cream on the sore spots at the narrow place where the vagina goes through the pubic bone.  (I'm going to stop doing that now and see how it goes.)  I insert a prescribed amount of the estrogen cream deep into the vagina the night before a regular dilation (the 15-minute kind).

Very helpful to me was that she told me that my needs are not unusual.  She says that many (cis-)women my age who are not having regular penetrative sex need to dilate regularly if they want to maintain the ability for it.

(It took me a while to get comfortable dilating standing in the shower.  I dropped back a size for that until I had the technique figured out.  I use the regular dilator now.)

I hope this helps.
- Kate

Tyvm.
My GP who also does my gyno looks has added estrogen cream to my after care. So it is good to see that was something you also are using.
She said to put it deep inside also. I also have a area just at the PC that has not been a happy camper and will try adding a little there also.

Thanks for the post.

Isabell

Estriol cream is what i get now and it is doing wonders. It is all softer and on good days I do not even have to use lubrication gel anymore...

Yasmine - the cream should be absorbed within a day by the mucous skin insider the vagina. Sone of it seems to be pushed out though. If it is Estriol cream and not Estradiol cream, it should increase softness and stretchability of the vagina as well as promote the formation of mucous. However if you douche inside regularly, it cannot really do much, as part of its action is to help promote a healthy vaginal flora. For that, vaginal microbes that are sold as tablets for insertion into the vagina are useful. If there is a good community in there, it promotes a healthy state with musous and softness. regular douching inside is then kind of unneeded and even destructive to that.

Ok, I am not sure - probably its a matter of personal hygiene desires to douche that often - I guess some women do it some don't, but I guess what you add there is some sort of probiotic? In that case it should be able to still do something but there is that little discrepancy there - I get that one wants to feel clean and hygienic all over, including the insides, but we also don't wash out stomach or intestines regularly because those parts are supposed to build up some bacterial fauna who is living on things that pass by - The estriol cream I use has also some parts (I think it was lactose?) that the symbiotic bacteria in the vagina can "eat". It takes time but once the mucous skin inside develops, I think a lot is working out well. But you can use a lot less of the cream than is written in the package. Like 1/4 or so (and of course apply it after you had intercourse or did douching, so it can have the most time to act). It should help promoting the development of a wet climate inside and also regulate pH so that the symbionts can live there happily...

Dilating is my least favorite thing in the world.  After about 14 months, I find it necessary to dilate every other day, and if I skip, it takes a longer time to get the blue one in place. Depth is still good, but width has gone down. I will never have sex with a man, so early on, I dropped the orange dilator out of my regimen.  I mean, why bother? Now, I've skipped too many days, and I'm down to purple and blue.  I guess I might be able to work up to the green.  Truth is, Dr McGinn did such a nice job, I am always totally self-lubricating, and my clitoris is easy for my partner to find under the hood.  But I had a problem healing totally, and now am the granulation tissue queen.  The big problem, is maintaining width.  I wish I could get to a once-a-week schedule, but I don't ever see that happening.

I am trying something new now. I stiull use the green and orange dilators for a while (right now still over an hour to get to a state where it is not uncomfly too much anymore). I think I will try to use them now mostly in a more dynamic way and to try to gain some depth. Afterwards I will put in a soft silicone placeholder for some hours or overnight. I hope this will help to make the dilation easier next time. I also got a size plus of the orange one in case this is possible at some time. It still is at the beginning rather hard to use the green, so I hope I get to the state where green is simple, that should be ok then.

Yasmine - I did not get a bigger dilator no, but I got a dildo that is a bit bigger and has a similar shape. So maybe it will help. And yes - I use dildos as a placeholder, basically I found one that is rather the same diameter all its length, that has some "ripples" that help to keep it in place and that is about the size between the green and orange soul source dilators (I also got one size larger but that is not in use yet) and just leave it in after dilation with the soul source dilators. I cannot say if it helps yet.

dynamic dilation, if I get that right is about widening the deeper part more?

Quote from: Yasmine on February 18, 2014, 04:52:52 PM
About leaving the dildo in after dilation and while you sleep. I was told that that's dangerous, but perhaps it's only dangerous the first months after surgery.

What is the danger?

What I heard was that for some the lubrication they use dries out and then it can get stuck. I did not have that issue yet - either the insideskin is not sucking up the lube that fast or it is because I do have considerable muscous development there so that lubrication is not much of an issue in the deeper parts.

QuoteYes. Just imagine what happens when you rotate the dilator widely. The dilator rotates the widest where it's the deepest in the vagina.

Ok, this I need. Thanks.

I was told minimum of 1x weekly BUT and here's the kicker, 3x if i noticed any loss of depth or any pain. 3x it is!

Eep, you're all making me feel like a bad transsexual. I'm 12 years post-op and I haven't dilated since I first had sex after surgery, even through periods when I wasn't sexually active (about two years). When I'm not having intercourse, all I do is put two fingers in my vagina while I'm showering and stretch them as wide as I can. I so far haven't noticed any difference since the first time I had sex and haven't had any problems having intercourse. I was 26 when I got my operation.

I gues sit depends on luck and if these 2 years were the only break in having regular sex, thats not too bad. Having a BF definitely saves you a lot of dilation work. Was this a PI or different technique?

This is with Dr. Suporn, which as I understand is not PI. Clearly I am not super well-informed and should do more homework given it's a vital part of my body...

I think it all comes down to our own feelings of how things are down there.

By the 1 year mark i think everyone should know if they will need more or less going forward.

Add in having intercourse will be a added bonus.

Does it really matter if it is 1x a week, every other week or every other day. Each is there own and must keep there own comfort level if the wish to use it for something other then just dilations.

Isabell

Ah yes - wir Dr Suporn I think you can take long breaks afterwards and its not an issue. Tradeoff seems to be: Suporn means to dilate a whole lot during the healing phase but afterwards you can really relax, with PI you will have more time in the beginning but need to do a lot of work forever. At least thats my impression now. I heard for some even after years it is needed to dilate right before intercourse for a moment to get things in shape - that sounds lot like a lot of fun but it seems true at least in some cases. I at least would not feel good about just being spontaneous now - it would be hurting if it would be possible at all... but then i know I still need to do some extra work to get back in shape, albeit I believe I am reaching sort of a stagnant point there.

As I understand it - Suporn and others use that meshed skin which will cause some issues healing initially but once healted it is relatively stable and cannot contract in a short time, only after long breaks. With PI the skin is elastic and basically shrinks down immediately after dilation but can be stretched again the next time, so maintenance is to keep the skin used to be stretched frequently.

I still wonder though what the issue is supposed to be about not keeping a dildo or stent or whatever in place for some hours...?

Yeah I found the whole process mysterious, mainly the whole thing that intercourse is supposed to work as a substitute but not vibrators. I feel like that just doesn't make logical sense. I hate the idea that transition needs to be medicalized for the rest of one's life... especially that we need to treat our most erotic body part as a medical site forever and ever and ever.

Of course I would have done something different if I felt something but I haven't so I use my improvised method along with my vibrator. So far, things have been fine.

I don't mind dilating 15 minutes a week forever, honestly - even the 15 min/twice a week now is OK. :)

Also, I think the main issue with leaving it in overnight is infection. Obviously, in the beginning that's a serious concern; once it's long-healed, though, I'd guess it's the same risks as any other vagina with a longer-term resident (=yeast infection, minor skin tears, tiny chance of toxic shock). Basically, at that point, I'd assume that the warnings for tampons applied to overnight dildos, since they occupy the vagina for about the same length of time and in fact anything plastic may be less risky than a tampon.

Personally, though, I don't want to be doing anything overnight! Since I'm doing fine on the standard regimen, I'm happy to sleep in peace.

mandonlym, I think intercourse is fine - also vibrators are fine - I use vibrators for most of the tima dn it worked well up until I somehow lost interest in that and did not switch to regarding it again as a medical issue...

Quote from: Jenna Marie on February 22, 2014, 10:33:39 AM
I don't mind dilating 15 minutes a week forever, honestly - even the 15 min/twice a week now is OK. :)
Personally, though, I don't want to be doing anything overnight! Since I'm doing fine on the standard regimen, I'm happy to sleep in peace.

Well Yeast infections - if I clean that thing well it should be fine. I also apply some estriol cream to help the good bacteria to stay alive.
2x15 min a week woul dbe ok but sinde at the present it is like 2 hours a day for me, I really would like to cut it a bit. Plus - who said that I cannot sleep VERY MUCH in peace that way - seriously it is not a bad feeling at all for me. Although as of now, I will wake up after 3-4 hours and feel it is a bit tight and then take it out and continue sleeping...

Actually, yeast infections are counterintuitive - a vagina *should* have some yeast living in it. That's normal, and healthy.  It's when you kill off enough of the local bacteria that keep the yeast in check (which is why some antibiotics can cause yeast infections) that the yeast exceed normal levels and become a problem. So, basically, you also don't want to be *over*sterilizing.

(All these instructions are, of course, for long-term post-ops. In the early days, follow the surgeon's instructions and err on the side of being scrupulously sanitized.)

2 hours daily really is too much, yeah. And I said *I* couldn't sleep in peace - I'm a very light sleeper as it is. :) I envy y'all who can sleep through things like that!

Actually i like the feeling of sleeping "with it" as long as it is really a soft one. What the bleep is a "f...ing machine".

Dilating for life,

I kind of just looked at it as if I was just like as Woman who suffers from Vaginismus,

It is just part of life, does not make me feel any less of a Woman at all

Quote from: Yasmine on February 22, 2014, 03:41:17 PMI think the 'in and out' are important too. You don't get those from dilation.

Yes, you can.  Why waste money on a machine when you can accomplish the same thing with your hand?  I go in and out several times during my dilation sessions.  I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.  No machines needed.

Quote from: Beyond on March 11, 2014, 03:43:25 AM
  I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.

Wow - you can do that? Darn. Whenever I try to flex muscles, the opposite happens. I guess I still have a way to go to get back to something normal. Next week I will have an examination by a local GRS surgeon and will have some questions - I want to do some minor corrections that were just not possible 15 years ago plus I want him to check if my insides are doing ok. I hope I dont need corrections there as well.

Hello Jane,

Quote from: Beyond on March 11, 2014, 03:43:25 AM
I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.

If you'll pardon me for asking, how do you draw it in?

I can expel it OK, and that's with the Orange ,"divide and conquer" but I can't fathom the muscular action required to draw in.

Huggs
Catherine

Catherine, Anjaq : Squeeze the muscle you use to stop peeing (this exercise is also known as "Kegels"). It's the same muscle you'd use to push something out, but then you're bearing down/pushing; try squeezing or clamping it down as hard as you can. The effect might not be that dramatic - I found that the bigger the dilator, the less I could shift it, and with the giant orange one I basically only hold it in place rather than drawing in.

We actually do have the same muscles down there that cis women do - it's the PC muscle, and I was delighted when I realized I could DO that trick of squeezing something that was in there. :)

Even more fun to do it with a penis (both for you and the guy). Just sayin'. :)

Hmm - as of now if I try that muscle it still is rather expelling the dilator than drawing it in. I can stop peeing no problem, but this trick I cannot do :( - maybe its because I had a PI  and not the newer techniques or maybe I need more dilating. I also noticed I cannot use vaginal tablets - they also will just be expelled.

Anjaq : Possibly. I had penile inversion as well and have no trouble, but I seem to recall your surgery was unusual somehow or something?

mandonlym : If you're with a guy, I'm sure it is. :)

Thanks Jenna,

I'll try that with the smaller dilator. I get the picture.

Huggs
Catherine

Hmm - I got a dildo now tha tis soft and is wider at the tip than at the base and with that one it works great. I think its good to practice. Plus I can just leave that one in for an hour or so following dilation while sleeping, thats pretty neat.

Quote from: K8 on October 14, 2013, 06:52:22 PM
I have always understood that my body would treat the neo-vagina as a wound, and so I would have to dilate to keep it open.  I followed the surgeon's instructions to the letter through the first year.  There were no instructions beyond the first anniversary.  Because I was older – late 60s – I figured that my body would heal more slowly, so I kept going.  I read comments on this forum that mentioned dilating only now and then, a couple times a month, etc.  Whenever I dropped back more than 4 or 5 days I would have problems, so I kept going.

Around my third anniversary, things got easier.  Once started, the dilator would slide in easily, and I wouldn't have to work too much to get the last half inch.  I figured I was soon going to be able to slack off and dilate only twice a week or less, but I wasn't there yet.

Part of my problems are self-inflicted.  (Can we all say that, or is it just many of us?)  Because no SRS surgeon was nearby, and the gynecologists in the area didn't have experience with trans-women, I let it go.  Finally I traveled to see Dr Bowers for a consult.  She assured me that she could fix me up, but I'd have to stay in San Mateo for several weeks or a month.  I wasn't willing to do that.

I went to Dr Nguyen, who is a little closer, but I got a bad feeling about him and was reluctant to go back. 

I think one reason I was getting a bad attitude about having to dilate is that my life as a woman is wonderful.  I am relaxing into it and wanting to put the fact that I am trans behind me.  (Yeah, right.)  But I still have issues with my vagina.  Dilating has always irritated some of the skin at the opening, regardless of how much lubricant I put on.  When my partner touches it, it is either uncomfortable or painful – never pleasurable.  I have always gotten some blood out after dilating.  (The blood stops after a little while.)  Now it is just light spotting, but it just seems that after 3½ years the skin in there should be healed.  With the continued rawness and bleeding, any touching of the area during sex play does not bring pleasure.

Finally today I went to my regular gynecologist.  I had only seen her once before and had the impression then that she had never seen a trans-woman before.  She was wonderful for me today.  I am so glad I finally saw her and got over this feeling that I needed to see an SRS gynecologist.

This woman explained to me that many post-menopausal cis-women have to dilate twice a week if they aren't having an active sex life but want to keep the capability.  That made me feel a lot better.  She also is confident that she can heal the small tears in the vagina and that we can loosen the skin near the opening so that it isn't irritated by the dilator.  (She can do some surgery if need-be but wants to try some other things first.)  I think this woman can help me get to the point where I don't resent dilating.

Thank you so much for this discussion.  Keep the thread going.  I'm finding it very helpful.  This is an aspect of the process that often, in our rush to be whole, we don't talk about.

- Kate :icon_flower:

I'm 3 years SRS post op, I now only dilate once a month, I've lost half an inch depth of my vagina, I have always hated dilating, there's blood after dilation, I don't go to see a gyne cos I have no confidence in her being able to help an SRS girl...

snapfie, why dont you go see a SRS surgeon for a checkup? Sounds like things are not great if you had to cut down dilation to once a montah which is way not enough and it is why you lost depth. I have regained that inch with rigorous dilation, so it is possible but you should get checked why there is blood if that is a significant amont. A gyn may not help as much as a trained surgeon but s/he can also provide some help - by prescribing Estriol cream, by giving advice for dilation - yes dilation is something women without a GRS also have to do when they had gential surgery for different reasons or if they have vaginitis. So definitely go see a gyn if you cannot see a srs surgeon. And dont give up now!

Quote from: snapfie on April 07, 2014, 04:28:10 PM
I'm 3 years SRS post op, I now only dilate once a month, I've lost half an inch depth of my vagina, I have always hated dilating, there's blood after dilation, I don't go to see a gyne cos I have no confidence in her being able to help an SRS girl...

My gynecologist has had special training in dealing with Trans* girls and we have a wonderful and trustful relationship.  Go to the local LGBT community center and ASK if there are gynecologists who they know have been trained in dealing with us on their list.  Not to be dramatic, but it could save your life. 

Quote from: Gina_Z on October 12, 2013, 03:48:16 PM
THAT is an encouraging post! I won't forget it. <insert big smile>

*grins* The feels! You people complete me.  ;)