Susan's Place Transgender Resources

To bring folks up to speed I came out to my wife about four months ago. This has not gone over well with her and she is seeking a divorce but at least it is not the war of the roses in terms of how nice we are still to each other. So this was the weekend that my wife and I agreed that she would move out into her parents house while I was in North Carolina for a friends wedding. I've been home for about an hour and when I got here the house was of course a mess from someone moving out quickly with the help of a two year old little boy. I expected that. What I didn't expect was the devistation and loneliness that I'm feeling from seeing half empty rooms, stray piles of her clothes, my sons toys here and there. It was like walking into a house half sorted from a funeral. And I'm sitting here crying as I type because it feels that they are gone. I miss them both so much  :'(

I've missed them all weekend but only in that "I'll see them when I get home" way. Not the "I can't get a hold of them by phone to see if I can come by and visit" way. Oh god I so want to pick up my little boy and hold him. I love him so much... I want to hear him running through the house making trouble and babbling about shoes and how he wants an Oreo cookie.

I know I have to clean this up and getting moving if I'm ever going to feel better being here but it hurts so much. I might go see some friends for a bit and then come back to the piles of laundry and scattered toys and dishes.  :(

Thank you guys for being here if you're reading this. I really just needed to get it out, sound it out, and wipe away the tears so that I can get motivated being the only one in this big empty house.

{{ HUGS }}

Awww, sweetie. I'm really, really sorry you're hurting so much.

*extra big hug*

I can only imagine how you must be feeling. You will get through it though. And remember, you're not alone, okay? Never.

*hugs*

HUGS.

No matter how things end it still hurts like .ell. As someone who was there it does get better in time. But you need to do things for you more at this time in your life.

I wish things never had to be this way for us who was married, but we also have to understand not everyone is walking in our shoes.

Hugs again
Isabell

Christine, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.  Take it one step at a time, take the time to readjust to living alone for a while, and make the house as welcoming for your kids as possible.  I've learned time and time again that a breakup on one relationship within a larger family does not mean the entire family structure crumbles too.

This wasn't your fault.  You didn't spend the family savings on cocaine, nor beat her, nor had an affair.  People will get over what you've "done", which is just trying to be you.  Give it time.  All is not lost.

And we're all here for you, ready to listen to your gripes and tears and breakdowns and complaints.  Don't forget that there's many people here who will do whatever we can to help.  If you need something, just ask.   :)

Hi baby! I know from personal experience how it feels as my wife walked out after 16 years with my kids. My son did return home, but my daughter will not. I CAN tell you that the people on this great place saved my life. I found out from all the people here that the problem was understood and so much help was given that even though I miss my daughter, I am at peace. If it was not for the others here I really don't know how different things may have ended. All I can do right now is send a BIG HUG your way. Please PM me if you need ANYTHING at all, OK? I am so sorry this happened to you, but you have support and people who care about you...Us, your family!!

Christine,

You're not alone. Your son will ALWAYS be your son. You will never be replaced, and although it is very difficult to be away from your children (I'm in the same boat as you!) you will find a way that works. He will be SO happy to see you when you get to be together! Call him often and make sure your time with him is JUST with him. He will love your attention! I actually have a much better relationship with my boys now that I'm not with that absolute ***** that is their mother.

All will be well and you will get through this. Your son, too. Just make sure you get some Oreos for his next visit!

Jess

Aww hun, hope everything turns out ok.  As people have said you're never alone here.

There's not much I can say that will help, but a hug maybe able to put a smile on your face for a bit



(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.mysanantonio.com%2Fwilliamhcraig%2Ffiles%2Flegacy%2Fkitten%2520and%2520puppy%2520hug.jpg&hash=2f102f7982b8689599ef303222fcfed2bc0d4b1f)

Hugs girl!!

So sorry to hear this.   I've been thru it as well and it does get easier as time goes by.  You will always be a good parent that your son needs in times of need and for fun:)   Feel free to pm me if you would like to talk

I'm sorry Christine.  I wish there was something I could say or do. 

I'm sorry Christine I can't imagine what your going though hugs.

*HUGS*

I know how much this must hurt Christine, and my heart goes out to you. But please remember that you have a family here that will support you until this troubled time in your life is over, and you are back with your wife and your son.  :)

I wish I could be right there to give you a big big hug! I'm so sorry they left you without at least giving you a way to get in contact if needed.

What more can be said.   :icon_bunch:  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fzombiejoes.homestead.com%2Ffiles%2Fgroup_hug.jpg&hash=b19645fc10452718f70813d562e5cec4c0f92fb6)

Thank you everyone. As an update my wife did call me back and I did get a chance to visit and share dinner with my wife, my son and wife's parents.  :)

Apparently what had happened was that they were helping my wife assemble a new closet organizer and our little man had hidden the phone. He is quite good at it. I feel much better. I did cry again on my way home from my in-laws but I am cleaning the house now and my efforts are making me feel more comfortable here.

What would I do without all of you? Thank you for being here for me  :)

hugs, I could only imagine what you are going through

I feel for you. I've been there long ago when people are gone & the house is quiet.

It's good that you can talk some with them, maybe that will help some.

Take care.

*pats your back and dabs your eyes with  tissue*
Sorry, that's about all I can do. It's not so easy trying to help people when they're so far away. I'll help in any way I can.

Geez, that sounds really tough. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Just stay strong and there's tons of people around here to help and listen.

it gets worse, then much, much, much better. Stay true and focused. Hugs

I am so sorry. My wife of 12 yrs was my world and I came out in February to her.  Our divorce was final a week ago. This is the worst part of being true to yourself, and I share your pain.  Time will heal, but it will take a long time.  Best of luck to you and be strong.

Quote from: Christine167 on October 20, 2013, 07:15:54 PM
Thank you everyone. As an update my wife did call me back and I did get a chance to visit and share dinner with my wife, my son and wife's parents.  :)

Apparently what had happened was that they were helping my wife assemble a new closet organizer and our little man had hidden the phone. He is quite good at it. I feel much better. I did cry again on my way home from my in-laws but I am cleaning the house now and my efforts are making me feel more comfortable here.

What would I do without all of you? Thank you for being here for me  :)

I'm happy I've already gotten to this thread too late to say that it only gets better now ♥
I hope the happy times you will have are frequent!

Quote from: Christine167 on October 20, 2013, 07:15:54 PM
Thank you everyone. As an update my wife did call me back and I did get a chance to visit and share dinner with my wife, my son and wife's parents.  :)

Apparently what had happened was that they were helping my wife assemble a new closet organizer and our little man had hidden the phone. He is quite good at it. I feel much better. I did cry again on my way home from my in-laws but I am cleaning the house now and my efforts are making me feel more comfortable here.

What would I do without all of you? Thank you for being here for me  :)

That is really so comforting to hear and I'm sure that it took a lot of strain and relief off of you as well. But I guess these unexpected things will happen, and that's why we love our little children  :)

I so sorry to hear things had to be the way they have been. At least you are still on good terms with her and I hope that continues. All the very best.  :)

I held off saying anything yesterday because our wives, children and grandchildren mean so much to us, and it hurts so intensely to be separated from them.  And to this I can only add one more Hug. 

Take care.

And one more hug of empathy and best wishes from me. It's so, so, so hard trying to balance what we know is best for ourselves with the love and duty we feel towards the ones we love. I'm so glad that you have at least been able to maintain contact with your wife and son and I wish you all the luck and love in the world as you go further on your journey.

You are not going alone ...

Christine,

As I'm only about a month ahead of you and going through the same, I know exactly what you're feeling.

The crying bits have become fewer and further between. 

We must remain confident that there are many out there who will love us for who we are.  Because it's the truth.

Hugs,
Karla