Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've already come out to my youngest daughter (11) (see post: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,150057.msg1244459.html#msg1244459 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,150057.msg1244459.html#msg1244459)).  Tracking down my older daughters so I could talk to them face-to-face took some more doing, but it was well worth it.

It was all a bit rushed, as she stopped by after her work and had to head home to her husband and son, but we sat down on the couch as a family (my girlfriend, her kids, and my 11-year-old, all of whom knew).  I told her that I would always be her dad, and I would be there for her, but that I had finally admitted to myself that I was transgendered.

She didn't even look shocked.  She gave me a big hug and said, "I love you, and I'm so happy that you can finally be happy."  We talked further, and she let me know that she had already heard through the rumor mill, but that she had been waiting on me to tell her in my own time.

How did I ever get so lucky?  My middle daughter (22) knows, too, apparently, and now has the message her dad wants to talk to her.  She's been incommunicado for the last year; the only way I really have of getting in touch with her is through back channels, so I'm hoping to hear from her soon.

I thought I would post this as a positive message... so many people have so many fears (founded or not) about coming out that sometimes a "Hey, I came out to X and everything is fine" can be much needed encouragement.

That and I *had* to tell you guys.  Hugs to EVERYONE!  :)

That's great news, congrats! Hope my folks and siblings are as understanding but I have my doubts...

That is great news Robin! I'm so happy for you.  ;D

I'm just sorry that I didn't see this earlier. :-\

*BIG HUGS*

Amy

Wonderful.  Thank you for sharing.  This had to make you feel good.

Robin,

You are facing life with gusto!!!!

Congrats Girl

Thanks, all... it certainly did help me feel better... maybe I did *something* right in raising them after all.  ;)  As a parent, I worried (so far needlessly) for many years about how such a thing would affect them.  In fact, that is probably the biggest reason I was in denial over the last fifteen years. 

Slowly it has dawned on me, over the years, that the old advice is true; if people love you, they want you happy.  I certainly wanted *them* happy, but because I had always felt wrong, that I was some kind of monster for being so different and not fitting my body, I always assumed my own happiness didn't matter.  I am very grateful to my therapists, my fiancee, her family, and mine (so far) for valuing my happiness too, at least as soon as *I* really started to.

I am certain that this won't continue to go so smoothly... I still need to talk to my mother (I've left a message, but she's a busy woman) and then, well, I need to somehow broach the subject to my dad's side of the family.  My father was killed years ago and I have estranged myself from that side of the family over the years.  While I anticipate they will not react with nearly as much support as I've enjoyed so far, I really do need to give them the chance to surprise me. :)

I'm glad it went so well. I hope it goes as well for my own.

*hug*  Me, too!  :)

Thank you so much for sharing. I also have daughters around the same age (21 and 23) and have nooooo idea how they will react and it scares the s*(t out of me to tell them. In fact, last time I got together with my kids my 21-year-old noticed my hair was different, that it seemed "fuller." I told her I just needed a haircut. I am six weeks on hormones and don't plan to cross that "coming out bridge" until after the holidays.

I've never been one to have these kind of serious discussions with kids but I guess this will be a growth experience for all of us.

I might PM you later for advice if you don't mind. I also have two boys, 25 and 14.

Jane

That is fantastic it is great to have a supportive family, I came out to my 11 & 8 yo daughters about a year ago they were very accepting of it right away at the disgust of my x wife, my 11 yo daughter lives with me and we have girly nights where we dress up do our nails and watch girly movies she is just the best.

Big hugs  Emily T

That's wonderful.  I'm truly happy that you have the support of your daughters.  You certainly did raise them right.

Hugs
Lori

Quote from: JaneNicole2013 on November 04, 2013, 10:05:11 PM
Thank you so much for sharing. I also have daughters around the same age (21 and 23) and have nooooo idea how they will react and it scares the s*(t out of me to tell them. In fact, last time I got together with my kids my 21-year-old noticed my hair was different, that it seemed "fuller." I told her I just needed a haircut. I am six weeks on hormones and don't plan to cross that "coming out bridge" until after the holidays.

I've never been one to have these kind of serious discussions with kids but I guess this will be a growth experience for all of us.

I might PM you later for advice if you don't mind. I also have two boys, 25 and 14.

Jane

Jane, I know the feeling... please feel free to PM me if you like, you can also get me on FB (there's a link under my pic in this post).  Remember, too, Gen Y is *very* different in their level of acceptance from our own generation.  Did you know that a *LOT* of high schools have GLBT groups now?  Blew my mind... and filled me with joy and pride when my older daughters, both straight (to my increased anxiety... why couldn't at least one of them have been a lesbian?  ...queer parent problems) joined their High School GLBT groups as supporters.

*hug*

Quote from: Emily.T on November 05, 2013, 12:40:35 AM
That is fantastic it is great to have a supportive family, I came out to my 11 & 8 yo daughters about a year ago they were very accepting of it right away at the disgust of my x wife, my 11 yo daughter lives with me and we have girly nights where we dress up do our nails and watch girly movies she is just the best.

Big hugs  Emily T

Thank you... yes, I enjoy doing girly things with my little one, too, now that I'm out to her.  I'm certain my ex will be thoroughly disgusted with me after I come out to her (waiting on making sure legal i's and t's are handled properly)... but since one of her biggest problems with me was that I wasn't masculine enough, I'm thinking she should have seen it coming. :P

Quote from: Lori2000ma on November 05, 2013, 06:11:00 AM
That's wonderful.  I'm truly happy that you have the support of your daughters.  You certainly did raise them right.

Hugs
Lori

Thank you, Lori... and hugs all around!  :)