Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: kathyk on October 23, 2013, 12:24:11 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Loosing my name
Post by: kathyk on October 23, 2013, 12:24:11 PM
Post by: kathyk on October 23, 2013, 12:24:11 PM
Not depressed, but a bit melancholy this morning. Went online to my hometown newspaper and saw the publication of the petition for my name change under Legal Notices. I guess this is really happening.
I never hated the name Joseph Henry Ko***, but it never really fit me or expressed the way I felt. And now I no longer even think of myself as the person who was raised with that name. It's been 62 plus years since I was born, and until I began to privately think of myself a Kathy more than 20 years ago I couldn't imagine being named differently. Nobody ever called me by another name, and until I came out to my family in January only my therapist and doctor used the name Kathy. No, I never had a nickname or used my middle name, so I only responded to people when addressed by the name my parents had given me. O.K. so there were always a few derogatory or brutally homophobic names cast my way, but those don't count. There was one pleasant part of having that given name because it matched my wife's name so closely, and at times it made introductions at a party or event a little more interesting.
I think my mother and father would have been confused by what I have to do, but they most likely would have accepted my life, and they'd probably like the name that I'll finally have. My new first name grew out of a special and very personal childhood memory. And since my mother insisted on honoring her uncle with my middle name, the new middle name will be Henna, which in Finnish is a feminine version of Henry.
So ... Katherine Henna Ko*** - It means: Pure, Ruler of her home, By the stream or river.
K
I never hated the name Joseph Henry Ko***, but it never really fit me or expressed the way I felt. And now I no longer even think of myself as the person who was raised with that name. It's been 62 plus years since I was born, and until I began to privately think of myself a Kathy more than 20 years ago I couldn't imagine being named differently. Nobody ever called me by another name, and until I came out to my family in January only my therapist and doctor used the name Kathy. No, I never had a nickname or used my middle name, so I only responded to people when addressed by the name my parents had given me. O.K. so there were always a few derogatory or brutally homophobic names cast my way, but those don't count. There was one pleasant part of having that given name because it matched my wife's name so closely, and at times it made introductions at a party or event a little more interesting.
I think my mother and father would have been confused by what I have to do, but they most likely would have accepted my life, and they'd probably like the name that I'll finally have. My new first name grew out of a special and very personal childhood memory. And since my mother insisted on honoring her uncle with my middle name, the new middle name will be Henna, which in Finnish is a feminine version of Henry.
So ... Katherine Henna Ko*** - It means: Pure, Ruler of her home, By the stream or river.
K
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: Sephirah on October 23, 2013, 02:21:04 PM
Post by: Sephirah on October 23, 2013, 02:21:04 PM
Seems to me that you're actually finding your name, rather than losing it, hon.
*hugs*
*hugs*
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: Donna Elvira on October 23, 2013, 02:33:25 PM
Post by: Donna Elvira on October 23, 2013, 02:33:25 PM
Hi Kathy,
I recently filed for my Civil Identity Change in France which obviousy includes a name change too. To avoid the sort of feelings you express, and also to make the change very simple for everyone who knows me, I chose to take female names which sound almost identical to my male names. From that point of view, destiny was kind to me as in my home country, Ireland, the male name I was given at birth, while spelt very differently, sounds almost exactly the same as Donna.
I guess most important is to be happy to finally put your male past completely behind you and from that point of view, the official name change is a huge step. While I have no doubt about my desire to see my transition through, I still wonder what it is going to feel like when all my papers finally say I am a woman. As I am just a little younger than you, it sometimes feels quite unreal.
Other than that, I have to agree with Sephirah (as usual :))
Wishing you all the best.
Donna
I recently filed for my Civil Identity Change in France which obviousy includes a name change too. To avoid the sort of feelings you express, and also to make the change very simple for everyone who knows me, I chose to take female names which sound almost identical to my male names. From that point of view, destiny was kind to me as in my home country, Ireland, the male name I was given at birth, while spelt very differently, sounds almost exactly the same as Donna.
I guess most important is to be happy to finally put your male past completely behind you and from that point of view, the official name change is a huge step. While I have no doubt about my desire to see my transition through, I still wonder what it is going to feel like when all my papers finally say I am a woman. As I am just a little younger than you, it sometimes feels quite unreal.
Other than that, I have to agree with Sephirah (as usual :))
Wishing you all the best.
Donna
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: JLT1 on October 23, 2013, 06:41:25 PM
Post by: JLT1 on October 23, 2013, 06:41:25 PM
Kathy,
You found true self 20 years ago, having been hiding behind an identity that wasn't who you were. Then you found your name and lived in secret. Now, the world knows you for who you are. That is a wonderful thing.
Congratulations and joyful Hugs!
Jen
You found true self 20 years ago, having been hiding behind an identity that wasn't who you were. Then you found your name and lived in secret. Now, the world knows you for who you are. That is a wonderful thing.
Congratulations and joyful Hugs!
Jen
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: Amelia Pond on October 23, 2013, 06:54:45 PM
Post by: Amelia Pond on October 23, 2013, 06:54:45 PM
I think you meant you're "losing his name." ;) Congrats Kathy! ;D
*HUGS*
Amy
*HUGS*
Amy
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 23, 2013, 06:57:17 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 23, 2013, 06:57:17 PM
Sephira nailed it baby. You now have your REAL name now! Congrats! :laugh:
Title: Re: Loosing my name
Post by: kathyk on October 23, 2013, 09:35:03 PM
Post by: kathyk on October 23, 2013, 09:35:03 PM
Well, thanks Sephirah, Donna, Jen, Amelia, and Jessica. Had a glass of wine during dinner to relax as I reflected on how happy this name change is making me. Now on to more important things. like practicing a signature that's as pretty as my name. :D
And Amelia, you gave me a good giggle. Really, I kind'a have a girlly giggle, so I used it.
And Amelia, you gave me a good giggle. Really, I kind'a have a girlly giggle, so I used it.