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Title: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 08:56:09 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 08:56:09 PM
Hey there everyone.
I got pointed to this forum from another forum I am also on. Though, that is not really a forum like anything like this.
I have never really done anything like this before, so I am not really sure where I should start really since this kind of forum is very much new to me.
I'm 23 years old, you can call me Dalex. I was born a female, but I have always felt ether genderless or a male. Up until now, every time I have spoken about this, I have just been told that I am confused or going through a phase. And I get told that even more so now, after I was diagnosed with PTSD after three and a half years a few years back, that many have described as torture, that also were followed with other not so fun events. But I am not going to go too much into that. It is not really a happy fun story's with butterflies and rainbows.
Any who! Since I am getting off topic here... Yes, I'm 23 years old, and live on a tiny little island in the middle of nowhere that has been called the island of fire and ice. My sexual preference? Can I say personality? If I like someone, I have never looked at the gender, they are who they are. I love to draw, paint, sing, and almost anything that has to do with my hands. I have been told I am very much down to earth, but can be extremely hyper and random at times. I'm shy, clumsy and timid at certain points, and I love to make people laugh.
I now managed to gather up the courage, since this time I don't want to climb up into bed, turn off the lights and hide myself away. This time, I'm trying to just approach this head out and be vocal, and find out who I am.
I think this turned out to become a lot longer then I had firstly planned... So! I think I will have this as the end! I hope you will all take very good care of me.
*Bows, headbutting the keyboard*
Ehm, yes. :icon_wave: Hey there everyone ^^
I got pointed to this forum from another forum I am also on. Though, that is not really a forum like anything like this.
I have never really done anything like this before, so I am not really sure where I should start really since this kind of forum is very much new to me.
I'm 23 years old, you can call me Dalex. I was born a female, but I have always felt ether genderless or a male. Up until now, every time I have spoken about this, I have just been told that I am confused or going through a phase. And I get told that even more so now, after I was diagnosed with PTSD after three and a half years a few years back, that many have described as torture, that also were followed with other not so fun events. But I am not going to go too much into that. It is not really a happy fun story's with butterflies and rainbows.
Any who! Since I am getting off topic here... Yes, I'm 23 years old, and live on a tiny little island in the middle of nowhere that has been called the island of fire and ice. My sexual preference? Can I say personality? If I like someone, I have never looked at the gender, they are who they are. I love to draw, paint, sing, and almost anything that has to do with my hands. I have been told I am very much down to earth, but can be extremely hyper and random at times. I'm shy, clumsy and timid at certain points, and I love to make people laugh.
I now managed to gather up the courage, since this time I don't want to climb up into bed, turn off the lights and hide myself away. This time, I'm trying to just approach this head out and be vocal, and find out who I am.
I think this turned out to become a lot longer then I had firstly planned... So! I think I will have this as the end! I hope you will all take very good care of me.
*Bows, headbutting the keyboard*
Ehm, yes. :icon_wave: Hey there everyone ^^
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 23, 2013, 09:02:29 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 23, 2013, 09:02:29 PM
Hi Dalex, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 8122 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Welcome to our little family. Over 8122 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS ) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-8.gif&hash=d9498942f8bbb4bf3ad29af75944ea5e1135c6fa)
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Janet )O(
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 23, 2013, 09:09:57 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 23, 2013, 09:09:57 PM
Well hello there! You have found a spot I think you are really going to like. We have a great family here and there is so much to learn. You should have no problems fitting in and should have a lot of friends soon. You are part of the family now so relax and know we support you in all you do. Feel free to ask questions, share your experiences, vent or just join the fun. I am glad to have another family member here now. Feel free to PM me if there is anything I can help you with in the future. BIG HUG!! :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Beth Andrea on October 23, 2013, 09:14:23 PM
Post by: Beth Andrea on October 23, 2013, 09:14:23 PM
Welcome to our home! *waves*
*hugs* if ok, PTSD sucks.
Fire and Ice, huh? Does it rhyme with "I see Land!" ?
Lots to read, see and do here...glad you came by!
*hugs* if ok, PTSD sucks.
Fire and Ice, huh? Does it rhyme with "I see Land!" ?
Lots to read, see and do here...glad you came by!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: mrs izzy on October 23, 2013, 09:26:50 PM
Post by: mrs izzy on October 23, 2013, 09:26:50 PM
I would like to send you a warm welcome Dalex. The forum is full of all types of information. Enjoy the read.
Izzy
Izzy
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Amelia Pond on October 23, 2013, 09:29:15 PM
Post by: Amelia Pond on October 23, 2013, 09:29:15 PM
Hi Dalex, welcome to Susan's! :)
Any chance you're related to the Daleks? FYI, exterminating is prohibited. ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidszondy.com%2Fephemeral%2FDalek_army.jpg&hash=09e9c16cab1b507ddeca5d5b7b02027025f2c849) :icon_weirdface:
*HUGS*
Amy
Any chance you're related to the Daleks? FYI, exterminating is prohibited. ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidszondy.com%2Fephemeral%2FDalek_army.jpg&hash=09e9c16cab1b507ddeca5d5b7b02027025f2c849) :icon_weirdface:
*HUGS*
Amy
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 09:39:32 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 09:39:32 PM
Thank you all for the very nice welcome! And I read through all of the links Janet, which is the reason why it took me a moment to reply again. And Visitor 591, it does indeed rhyme with "I see Land!" ;)
But as for hugs, they are only sometimes okey. As long as I can see them coming and prepare myself for it.
Hehe, no Amy, sadly I am not related to the Daleks ;)
Again, thank you all for the very nice welcome :)
But as for hugs, they are only sometimes okey. As long as I can see them coming and prepare myself for it.
Hehe, no Amy, sadly I am not related to the Daleks ;)
Again, thank you all for the very nice welcome :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 23, 2013, 10:45:52 PM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 23, 2013, 10:45:52 PM
Whoa, Dalex, you sound like you could be my twin from a parallel universe. o.O lol
Everything you wrote, I could apply that whole thing to myself and nearly all of it would be true. No joke. o__________O *cue Twilight Zone music*
I'm also in my twenties, (27, so a little older) also born female, but always felt more like a male or somewhere in-between. I also have a lot of creative hobbies including writing, drawing and composing music. I'm a dork, you sound like a dork (I mean that in the most affectionate of ways!!) :laugh: We should be friends!
I also like your stance on sexual orientation. Personality is a good one! ;D
Anyway, I just joined the forums too. When I posted my intro the other day that was the first time I have ever outwardly expressed it to anyone. Glad you gathered the courage to take that first step! It was a hard step to take for me, but I found I felt so much better when I finally did it. Everyone here is super nice!
Welcome from a noob and fellow arteest! ;D
Everything you wrote, I could apply that whole thing to myself and nearly all of it would be true. No joke. o__________O *cue Twilight Zone music*
I'm also in my twenties, (27, so a little older) also born female, but always felt more like a male or somewhere in-between. I also have a lot of creative hobbies including writing, drawing and composing music. I'm a dork, you sound like a dork (I mean that in the most affectionate of ways!!) :laugh: We should be friends!
I also like your stance on sexual orientation. Personality is a good one! ;D
Anyway, I just joined the forums too. When I posted my intro the other day that was the first time I have ever outwardly expressed it to anyone. Glad you gathered the courage to take that first step! It was a hard step to take for me, but I found I felt so much better when I finally did it. Everyone here is super nice!
Welcome from a noob and fellow arteest! ;D
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 11:39:37 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 11:39:37 PM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 23, 2013, 10:45:52 PM
Whoa, Dalex, you sound like you could be my twin from a parallel universe. o.O lol
Everything you wrote, I could apply that whole thing to myself and nearly all of it would be true. No joke. o__________O *cue Twilight Zone music*
I'm also in my twenties, (27, so a little older) also born female, but always felt more like a male or somewhere in-between. I also have a lot of creative hobbies including writing, drawing and composing music. I'm a dork, you sound like a dork (I mean that in the most affectionate of ways!!) :laugh: We should be friends!
I also like your stance on sexual orientation. Personality is a good one! ;D
Anyway, I just joined the forums too. When I posted my intro the other day that was the first time I have ever outwardly expressed it to anyone. Glad you gathered the courage to take that first step! It was a hard step to take for me, but I found I felt so much better when I finally did it. Everyone here is super nice!
Welcome from a noob and fellow arteest! ;D
*Blinks eyes and listens the Twilight Zone music* Where the fu- did tha- Ahh... I see ._.
Well, pleasure to meet you Kai! And yes, you are right... A huge, major dork and I love it! And it is always great to meet a fellow dork! *salutes so hard, that I leave a bruise on my own forehead*
*rubs forehead* And thank you :) I thought my sexual orientation seemed fitting to place as personality xP
And also, thank you. It did take very much courage... Even though I don't know anyone here personally. It still was such a huge step, and it took me a while before I could actually get myself to start typing.
And yes! I would very much like being your friend :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 23, 2013, 11:55:55 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 23, 2013, 11:55:55 PM
Welcome, Dalex! :icon_dance:
This is might my favorite place anywhere. I made my first post only 3 days ago, so I'm really just another newb. And I was terrified. I'd never told anyone before. The response has been amazing. I can't say enough good things about this place. These are some awesome people.
If anyone gives you trouble, let me know. I'll totally make Kai take care of it. :laugh:
::hugs::
-maggie
This is might my favorite place anywhere. I made my first post only 3 days ago, so I'm really just another newb. And I was terrified. I'd never told anyone before. The response has been amazing. I can't say enough good things about this place. These are some awesome people.
If anyone gives you trouble, let me know. I'll totally make Kai take care of it. :laugh:
::hugs::
-maggie
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:07:02 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:07:02 AM
Thank you very much Maggie! *hugs*
And hehe x3 I will remember that! :D Wow, I don't think I have ever been as much accepted before :3
It was hard coming out as bisexual, due to the fact I looked past the gender and looked for personalities. I got harsh words thrown at me from both sides, really. One of the more common one, was that I just came out as Bi because I was too scared to come out as a gay. The second, was that it was an attempt to get an attention. So, I have never dared to say anything about how I feel what I am on the inside. So
*super hugs everyone*
Really, thank you all so much.
And hehe x3 I will remember that! :D Wow, I don't think I have ever been as much accepted before :3
It was hard coming out as bisexual, due to the fact I looked past the gender and looked for personalities. I got harsh words thrown at me from both sides, really. One of the more common one, was that I just came out as Bi because I was too scared to come out as a gay. The second, was that it was an attempt to get an attention. So, I have never dared to say anything about how I feel what I am on the inside. So
*super hugs everyone*
Really, thank you all so much.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:03:42 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:03:42 AM
Quote from: Dalex on October 23, 2013, 11:39:37 PM
*Blinks eyes and listens the Twilight Zone music* Where the fu- did tha- Ahh... I see ._.
Well, pleasure to meet you Kai! And yes, you are right... A huge, major dork and I love it! And it is always great to meet a fellow dork! *salutes so hard, that I leave a bruise on my own forehead*
*rubs forehead* And thank you :) I thought my sexual orientation seemed fitting to place as personality xP
And also, thank you. It did take very much courage... Even though I don't know anyone here personally. It still was such a huge step, and it took me a while before I could actually get myself to start typing.
And yes! I would very much like being your friend :)
:) You are very welcome and...
YUSSSSSSS!!!!! DORKS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! ;D *salutes back* ERK..! Oww.... *rubs head* o.O
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:08:17 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:08:17 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 01:03:42 AM
:) You are very welcome and...
YUSSSSSSS!!!!! DORKS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!! ;D *salutes back* ERK..! Oww.... *rubs head* o.O
Dorks of the world unite! *rubs your forehead as well*
Yes! We must stand together! All hail the dorks, we shall rule the world! *cackles madly and then coughs*
Ehm, I think I have had too many energy drinks... Sorry.... *hides bottles of energy drinks*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:25:10 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:25:10 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on October 23, 2013, 11:55:55 PM
If anyone gives you trouble, let me know. I'll totally make Kai take care of it. :laugh:
Yes, and this is what they will have to contend with!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frachaeljames.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F09%2Fjason-chest.jpg&hash=a8809e6be98a19a5aa1e83fd9e039d3f876986b6)
I'm intimidating, I know. ;) Heh heh
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:37:40 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 01:37:40 AM
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:08:17 AM
Dorks of the world unite! *rubs your forehead as well*
Yes! We must stand together! All hail the dorks, we shall rule the world! *cackles madly and then coughs*
Ehm, I think I have had too many energy drinks... Sorry.... *hides bottles of energy drinks*
Ohhh, you have energy drinks, do you?? :o *waves hand hypnotically in front of your face* You want to give me your energy drinks. You want to give me your energy drinks. You want to give me your energyyyy drinkssss....! XD
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:48:13 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:48:13 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 01:25:10 AM
Yes, and this is what they will have to contend with!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frachaeljames.files.wordpress.com%2F2013%2F09%2Fjason-chest.jpg&hash=a8809e6be98a19a5aa1e83fd9e039d3f876986b6)
I'm intimidating, I know. ;) Heh heh
Oh yes ._.
XD *starts listening to, I'm sexy and I know it. I work out!*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:50:45 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:50:45 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 01:37:40 AM
Ohhh, you have energy drinks, do you?? :o *waves hand hypnotically in front of your face* You want to give me your energy drinks. You want to give me your energy drinks. You want to give me your energyyyy drinkssss....! XD
I seem to have missed this one!
And yes! Yes you may! *Slides over some energy drinks* Cheers! XD
Sorry... I just, I have to be up in an hour, and I couldn't sleep xD Needed a few energy drinks to start off my day :P
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 02:43:53 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 02:43:53 AM
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 01:48:13 AM
Oh yes ._.
XD *starts listening to, I'm sexy and I know it. I work out!*
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *resists the urge to dance around in a speedo* XDDDDDDDDDDDD
Oh man, things are getting a little crazy up in here..... O_O...... ENERGY DRINKS!!!!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 03:30:33 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 03:30:33 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 02:43:53 AM
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *resists the urge to dance around in a speedo* XDDDDDDDDDDDD
Oh man, things are getting a little crazy up in here..... O_O...... ENERGY DRINKS!!!!
Oh yes, it has become a bit crazy. Even more so, considering it is now 8:28 AM where I am :P I should not be this hyper after being awake for so long. But, somehow, even if it was coming out with all of this to people I don't personally know, I am just feeling rather excited! That, plus energy drinks xP And oh! If you like Secy and I know it, by LMFO, I recommend you search up 'Noah Cover of "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO' And even if you don't like that song... That cover is just great!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Gina Taylor on October 24, 2013, 04:02:28 AM
Post by: Gina Taylor on October 24, 2013, 04:02:28 AM
Hi Dalex and welcome to Susan's.
Here you'll find lots of great information that will help you on your journey and a lot of great people to met! and I hardly consider this a phase but something that is a part of our lives.
Here you'll find lots of great information that will help you on your journey and a lot of great people to met! and I hardly consider this a phase but something that is a part of our lives.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 04:15:29 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 04:15:29 AM
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 03:30:33 AM
Oh yes, it has become a bit crazy. Even more so, considering it is now 8:28 AM where I am :P I should not be this hyper after being awake for so long. But, somehow, even if it was coming out with all of this to people I don't personally know, I am just feeling rather excited! That, plus energy drinks xP And oh! If you like Secy and I know it, by LMFO, I recommend you search up 'Noah Cover of "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO' And even if you don't like that song... That cover is just great!
Hahaha, well, just to warn you, it may continue for a few days. I stayed up past dawn the first night I started posting.... and the night after that, and the night after that... and probably will tonight too. XD
Btw, this cover is amazing and I love you for suggesting it to me. O_O *GLOMP*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:16:23 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:16:23 AM
Thank you very much Gina :) So far, everyone has been absolutely wonderful, and I don't regret coming here at all. If anything, I feel over the moon happy with coming out with this and hopefully I can gather the courage to come out to those close to me.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:17:49 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:17:49 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 04:15:29 AM
Hahaha, well, just to warn you, it may continue for a few days. I stayed up past dawn the first night I started posting.... and the night after that, and the night after that... and probably will tonight too. XD
Btw, this cover is amazing and I love you for suggesting it to me. O_O *GLOMP*
*gets glomped* I am very glad you like it! It has been on repeat on my end here for a bit now x3
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 08:01:19 AM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 08:01:19 AM
Kai's right. I haven't had a full night of sleep since I wrote my first post. Just a week ago if I'd missed a full night of sleep I was exhausted and nearly useless the next day. I haven't felt tired for a second, just so full of energy I could power a small city. The only reason I'm not up all night posting is that I make myself go to bed after a certain point. Of course, I lie awake for a long time... ::)
By the by, I was lucky enough to spend a whole week in your country a few years back. It's just lovely. A little cold and windy, but beautiful. ;)
By the by, I was lucky enough to spend a whole week in your country a few years back. It's just lovely. A little cold and windy, but beautiful. ;)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: sweetlittlemisery on October 24, 2013, 08:29:03 AM
Post by: sweetlittlemisery on October 24, 2013, 08:29:03 AM
Hello there from another tiny islander :) *waves*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 09:37:19 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 24, 2013, 09:37:19 AM
Quote from: Magdalena on October 24, 2013, 08:01:19 AM
Kai's right. I haven't had a full night of sleep since I wrote my first post. Just a week ago if I'd missed a full night of sleep I was exhausted and nearly useless the next day. I haven't felt tired for a second, just so full of energy I could power a small city. The only reason I'm not up all night posting is that I make myself go to bed after a certain point. Of course, I lie awake for a long time... ::)
Indeed, here I am at 7 in the morning still don't want to sleep!
So, you too Maggie? It seems there's a trend going on! I can't wait for more new people to roll in, at this rate, we'll be able to solve the energy crisis! XD (oh wow, I am such a dork)
But really, this place is amazing. Usually when I join a forum, whether it's a support group or its for something else, (I have joined several different kind of online support groups trying to figure out what was wrong with me, anxiety/depression, agoraphobia, OCD, you name it) I will make a few posts and abandon it. I donno why, I guess I just didn't feel like I was connecting with anyone. And I had a lot of anxiety about talking to people as well. (even at the social anxiety support group, FTW! ???) But not here. I was anxious until I made that first post. Now I'm not anxious at all. For the first time in a long time I feel like I can just be myself meeting new people and it seems I have already made some new friends in my first few days of being here. That's... ASTOUNDING to me!! I had been such a shut in for so long I thought I had forgotten how to make friends. But you guys are amazing. Really. Everyone here is amazing. Ahhhhhggggg....! I'm gonna cry!!! >.<
Yup! I think I had better go to bed before my girl side comes out too much!!!!!! :-X
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:38:33 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:38:33 PM
Quote from: Magdalena on October 24, 2013, 08:01:19 AM
By the by, I was lucky enough to spend a whole week in your country a few years back. It's just lovely. A little cold and windy, but beautiful. ;)
It is a beautiful country, and I suppose I am also rather lucky that a great number of people here are accepting up to a certain level :)
Quote from: sweetlittlemisery on October 24, 2013, 08:29:03 AM
Hello there from another tiny islander :) *waves*
*Waves* Hey! Always fun to meet another tiny islander!
Quote from: ~Kai on October 24, 2013, 09:37:19 AM
Indeed, here I am at 7 in the morning still don't want to sleep!
So, you too Maggie? It seems there's a trend going on! I can't wait for more new people to roll in, at this rate, we'll be able to solve the energy crisis! XD (oh wow, I am such a dork)
But really, this place is amazing. Usually when I join a forum, whether it's a support group or its for something else, (I have joined several different kind of online support groups trying to figure out what was wrong with me, anxiety/depression, agoraphobia, OCD, you name it) I will make a few posts and abandon it. I donno why, I guess I just didn't feel like I was connecting with anyone. And I had a lot of anxiety about talking to people as well. (even at the social anxiety support group, FTW! ???) But not here. I was anxious until I made that first post. Now I'm not anxious at all. For the first time in a long time I feel like I can just be myself meeting new people and it seems I have already made some new friends in my first few days of being here. That's... ASTOUNDING to me!! I had been such a shut in for so long I thought I had forgotten how to make friends. But you guys are amazing. Really. Everyone here is amazing. Ahhhhhggggg....! I'm gonna cry!!! >.<
Yup! I think I had better go to bed before my girl side comes out too much!!!!!! :-X
Oh, I really should have gone to bed much sooner xD Then, I ended up not going out do what I had already planned for the day and crashed for a bit... Hit a bit of one of my anxiety walls, and ended up having one of my PTSD moments for a couple of hours and then I just could not manage to get myself to get out of bed.
But! I slapped myself in the face and ordered myself to get out of bed! When there are such wonderful people here that so easily accept me, I should not be going and having one of my anxiety fits! But I suppose that is easier said then done x3 But I'm trying :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:17:04 PM
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:17:04 PM
Looks like I'm late to the party, but welcome anyway. :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:19:02 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:19:02 PM
Quote from: robinmack on October 24, 2013, 04:17:04 PM
Looks like I'm late to the party, but welcome anyway. :)
Thank you very much, it is very much appreciated. I don't think I have ever received such open armed welcomes before, it is really a wonderful feeling :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:53:44 PM
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:53:44 PM
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 04:19:02 PM
Thank you very much, it is very much appreciated. I don't think I have ever received such open armed welcomes before, it is really a wonderful feeling :)
That's why I'm staying. :) Seriously, as on top of things as the moderators are, and with most of the posters accepting people the way we always wish we were accepted out in "meat space", I really haven't found a better place to just be me. If I could, I'd be buying real estate here and moving in. :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 04:56:55 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 04:56:55 PM
If you do, Robin, can I use the guest room? I'll bring pie. :laugh:
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:58:11 PM
Post by: Robin Mack on October 24, 2013, 04:58:11 PM
Yay, pie! I *love* pie! Do you have pecan? Or key lime? :)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 05:00:49 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 24, 2013, 05:00:49 PM
Pumpkin! But if you ask nicely...
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 05:54:29 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 05:54:29 PM
Did anyone say pie? Gimmeh! It's one of the golden rules after all! Must share pie! *sagenods*
Yes! It is the area of the dorks!
I usually don't drink much energy drinks myself xD I have my random burts of hyper randomness, with out it already :P
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 24, 2013, 05:05:33 PM
YAY, DORKS!!
HUZZAH!!!
But I prefer water to the energy drinks.
Yes! It is the area of the dorks!
I usually don't drink much energy drinks myself xD I have my random burts of hyper randomness, with out it already :P
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 12:36:07 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 12:36:07 AM
I propose a pie party at Robin's place. (that was almost a tongue twister!) I'LL BRING THE CHOCOLATE CREAM!!! Whoooo! :icon_woowoo: (oh man, I just found the rest of the smileys. They're gonna be all over my posts now, you just watch XD)
Thays the spirit, Dalex! I'm proud of you! :eusa_clap: Don't let that pesky anxiety get you down! There's too much love on this forum for that! :icon_mrhappy: *bats it away with a broom* Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
Here, have an afro! O0
Whoooooooo!!! Partyyyyyyy!!!!! :icon_drunk: *falls down and knocks over a table* Ooooo... o.O Ow... Heh heh, er, I hope we're not getting too rowdy over here. ::) :angel:
YUS! ANOTHER DORK! WEEEEE! :icon_bumdance-nerd: I dub this land... DORKTOPIA!!! :icon_rockon:
I prefer coffee myself. :icon_caffine: Maybe a little too much... :icon_dizzy: Heh heh.
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:38:33 PM
Oh, I really should have gone to bed much sooner xD Then, I ended up not going out do what I had already planned for the day and crashed for a bit... Hit a bit of one of my anxiety walls, and ended up having one of my PTSD moments for a couple of hours and then I just could not manage to get myself to get out of bed.
But! I slapped myself in the face and ordered myself to get out of bed! When there are such wonderful people here that so easily accept me, I should not be going and having one of my anxiety fits! But I suppose that is easier said then done x3 But I'm trying :)
Thays the spirit, Dalex! I'm proud of you! :eusa_clap: Don't let that pesky anxiety get you down! There's too much love on this forum for that! :icon_mrhappy: *bats it away with a broom* Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
Here, have an afro! O0
Quote from: robinmack on October 24, 2013, 04:17:04 PM
Looks like I'm late to the party, but welcome anyway. :)
Whoooooooo!!! Partyyyyyyy!!!!! :icon_drunk: *falls down and knocks over a table* Ooooo... o.O Ow... Heh heh, er, I hope we're not getting too rowdy over here. ::) :angel:
Quote from: Miss Bungle on October 24, 2013, 05:05:33 PM
YAY, DORKS!!
HUZZAH!!!
But I prefer water to the energy drinks.
YUS! ANOTHER DORK! WEEEEE! :icon_bumdance-nerd: I dub this land... DORKTOPIA!!! :icon_rockon:
I prefer coffee myself. :icon_caffine: Maybe a little too much... :icon_dizzy: Heh heh.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 01:26:45 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 01:26:45 AM
Thays the spirit, Dalex! I'm proud of you! :eusa_clap: Don't let that pesky anxiety get you down! There's too much love on this forum for that! :icon_mrhappy: *bats it away with a broom* Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
Here, have an afro! O0
[/quote]
Funny enough, I actually ended up cutting my hair shortly after that xD And I feel amazing about it. Today, I am going to see about actually going out dressed and looking like I feel on the inside. Here is my new hair!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc06.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Ff%2F2013%2F297%2F5%2F0%2F508cd19911caff6715accefcf0480c8b-d6ropk3.jpg&hash=4f7edf5a10ba8067c77bcbd9acc38345766d4f9a)
And another silly one for the road.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc03.deviantart.net%2Ffs71%2Ff%2F2013%2F297%2F8%2Ff%2F8f45ee0b966de0c6ad6fde6ad9827e00-d6ropfp.jpg&hash=216c48be6c1a049b497e5ce088559bb6f1d8dbb3)
I'm not a professional hairstylist, or anything like that and I know I am still far from passing as more of a male. But, lets see how it goes! :icon_workout:
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Cindy on October 25, 2013, 01:40:17 AM
Post by: Cindy on October 25, 2013, 01:40:17 AM
Whoops I'm very late for several new members!
Welcome and great to see you all. By the looks of things everyone is settling in great.
But I'm worried by mention of those strange pies!
What is wrong with pie floaters?
http://www.thepiecart.com.au/flag/SAFlag_Floater.jpg (http://www.thepiecart.com.au/flag/SAFlag_Floater.jpg)
Welcome and great to see you all. By the looks of things everyone is settling in great.
But I'm worried by mention of those strange pies!
What is wrong with pie floaters?
http://www.thepiecart.com.au/flag/SAFlag_Floater.jpg (http://www.thepiecart.com.au/flag/SAFlag_Floater.jpg)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 03:49:01 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 03:49:01 AM
Dalex, that's awesome! You look great! ;D I think you could pass as a guy! Good luck and let us know how it goes!!! Knock 'em dead, son!!! :icon_boxing:
Oh man, you have inspired me. I have never actually taken a picture of myself in male dress. I think I'm gonna give it a try. O.O
Cindy, I have never heard of a pie floater, whats in it? O.O
Oh man, you have inspired me. I have never actually taken a picture of myself in male dress. I think I'm gonna give it a try. O.O
Cindy, I have never heard of a pie floater, whats in it? O.O
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Cindy on October 25, 2013, 03:54:39 AM
Post by: Cindy on October 25, 2013, 03:54:39 AM
Quote from: ~Kai on October 25, 2013, 03:49:01 AM
Dalex, that's awesome! You look great! ;D I think you could pass as a guy! Good luck and let us know how it goes!!! Knock 'em dead, son!!! :icon_boxing:
Oh man, you have inspired me. I have never actually taken a picture of myself in male dress. I think I'm gonna give it a try. O.O
Cindy, I have never heard of a pie floater, whats in it? O.O
Hold on to a sick bag!
Mushy pea soup, a meat pie and tomato ketchup. Best eaten when drunk.
Heee Hee
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 03:57:16 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 03:57:16 AM
I have no idea what a pie floater is Cindy, but from what you said was in it... I think I will have to pass xD
And thanks Kai it really means a lot to hear that, lets see how it goes! Just about to jump out the door! In a different hoody though x3 Wearing my West Coast Choppers one! Nothing really fancy done to bind since I don't have a binder, but I might take a picture of the outfit I chose for the day later! And Kai, if you do take pictures, then I'd love to see if you are willing to share, of course :)
But yes! Off to catch the bus I go!
And thanks Kai it really means a lot to hear that, lets see how it goes! Just about to jump out the door! In a different hoody though x3 Wearing my West Coast Choppers one! Nothing really fancy done to bind since I don't have a binder, but I might take a picture of the outfit I chose for the day later! And Kai, if you do take pictures, then I'd love to see if you are willing to share, of course :)
But yes! Off to catch the bus I go!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 25, 2013, 06:32:52 AM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 25, 2013, 06:32:52 AM
Cindy, that sounds awful. Of course I'd try just about anything when I'm properly drunk and all, but... :icon_blah:
Dalex, I agree with Kai, very manly. Hope it all went well out there. Can't wait to find out. :icon_woowoo:
Dalex, I agree with Kai, very manly. Hope it all went well out there. Can't wait to find out. :icon_woowoo:
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 09:20:23 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 09:20:23 AM
Just got home!!!! And I felt awesome today! Even came out to six people! Well, almost six, came out half way with my younger sister this morning. One person did not understand it at all, but I did not let that ruin my mood!!! One of the people I came out to has actually been my friend since I was about nine. When she saw me today, the first thing she said was "Looks like Devon is back."
That almost got my to cry... For three years, when I was not at home or at school, I would dress in baggy jeans and a hoody and call myself Devon. That stopped since on my thirteenth birthday I was given mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, powder, a skirt and a very girly top for my birthday and I was told that I had to become a girl. One of the worst days of my life...
But!!!! A gay guy checked me out today, up until someone that knew me called me buy my name. Then the look turned into a more, really? Sort of a look x3 That gave me a slight boost as well, I never did suspect I could fool anyone today, but it looked like I did :D
And! To top it all off, I got a new drawing tablet today!!!!!
*does a super happy dance*
That almost got my to cry... For three years, when I was not at home or at school, I would dress in baggy jeans and a hoody and call myself Devon. That stopped since on my thirteenth birthday I was given mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, powder, a skirt and a very girly top for my birthday and I was told that I had to become a girl. One of the worst days of my life...
But!!!! A gay guy checked me out today, up until someone that knew me called me buy my name. Then the look turned into a more, really? Sort of a look x3 That gave me a slight boost as well, I never did suspect I could fool anyone today, but it looked like I did :D
And! To top it all off, I got a new drawing tablet today!!!!!
*does a super happy dance*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Robin Mack on October 25, 2013, 09:34:53 AM
Post by: Robin Mack on October 25, 2013, 09:34:53 AM
Way to go! Acceptance can be so liberating, no? :)
You're going places, young man!
You're going places, young man!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 10:46:00 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 10:46:00 AM
Quote from: robinmack on October 25, 2013, 09:34:53 AM
Way to go! Acceptance can be so liberating, no? :)
You're going places, young man!
It is! It really is!
It really means a lot for me to hear that! I feel like I could tackle the world right now and win it at least three times.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 07:16:55 PM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 07:16:55 PM
Duuuude, that's AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D I applaud your bravery, my friend!!! Six, people WOW! You're bustin' out of your shell like confetti poppers on steroids!!! XD Just look at how far you've come in just a few days! That's amazing! You are an inspiration, man, I mean it. I can't tell you how excited I am for you! It must have felt so relieving to come out and talk about it openly with people you know. I've still gotta work myself up to it. Mind if I borrow a little bit of that courage? You seem to have plenty to spare! XD And yay for new drawing tablet! * does the super happy dance with you!*
I played with taking some pictures last night and, idk. I think I'm just not satisfied because I feel like I still look too much like a girl, but maybe I'll muster up the courage to post a couple later. I actually woke up this morning feeling really blah for some reason. I don't know why, I think part of my mind just got kinda freaked out and for a minute I just wanted to forget all about the past couple weeks and about being trans. But... you know what? Forget that! I have been feeling better than I have in years since I came here. I am done letting fear and uncertainty push me into the ground. Momentary relapse, I assure you. Momentary relapse. Besides... no way I could abandon my friends!!!
Also! I might as well mention I tried binding for the first time the other day. O.O I wrote a post about it here if you wanna read: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,151358.0/topicseen.html
I played with taking some pictures last night and, idk. I think I'm just not satisfied because I feel like I still look too much like a girl, but maybe I'll muster up the courage to post a couple later. I actually woke up this morning feeling really blah for some reason. I don't know why, I think part of my mind just got kinda freaked out and for a minute I just wanted to forget all about the past couple weeks and about being trans. But... you know what? Forget that! I have been feeling better than I have in years since I came here. I am done letting fear and uncertainty push me into the ground. Momentary relapse, I assure you. Momentary relapse. Besides... no way I could abandon my friends!!!
Also! I might as well mention I tried binding for the first time the other day. O.O I wrote a post about it here if you wanna read: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,151358.0/topicseen.html
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 25, 2013, 07:41:50 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 25, 2013, 07:41:50 PM
Dalex! :eusa_clap:
You're amazing! So very proud of you, little brother! *joins in super happy dance and adds even more happy*
Kai, I had a little freak out last night. Apparently it happens. You're not alone, mister.
-maggie
You're amazing! So very proud of you, little brother! *joins in super happy dance and adds even more happy*
Kai, I had a little freak out last night. Apparently it happens. You're not alone, mister.
-maggie
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 09:43:54 PM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 25, 2013, 09:43:54 PM
Quote from: Magdalena on October 25, 2013, 07:41:50 PM
Kai, I had a little freak out last night. Apparently it happens. You're not alone, mister.
Ah, ok. I'm glad I'm not the only one. ::)
Ok, people. I'm gonna get a little gushy on you all again. Brace yourselves. A friend of mine showed me this song yesterday and it made me think of my wonderful new family here, so I wanted to share it with you all. Actually made me tear up a little bit, lol. I donno what the songs ACTUALLY about *looks at title and shrugs* Err, but forget that. Put the lyrics in another context and I think you'll know what I mean.
Except for one thing, I think our little city is the prettiest one of all. ;D
I love you guys!! :icon_love: Thank you all for being so amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abKeDE3h9h0
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 10:09:55 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 25, 2013, 10:09:55 PM
Kai, you don't have to do anything you don't feel comfortable with ;) I was actually at that stage myself, of feeling really really blah. I just laid there in my room, and everything was running through my head, and this dark pit in my stomach started to form when I thought that I needed to get myself ready to head out. In the last few years I have tried so hard, too hard, to dress and act like someone I'm not. And I just could not think of doing it another day. Get up, get dressed, brush the long hair an of course, the make up... Since I was just supposed to be a girl.
And as for your link Kai, I just actually left a comment there as a matter of fact xD
*Showers Kai with some of my courage, throwing some confetti, sprinkles, chocolate, flowers and maybe even a hint of puppy's... Don't ask...*
And! I might even be brave enough to tell my dad if he comes over, which he might this weekend!
What actually gave me that extra step was the fact that just right before, a friend of mine told me she had just been diagnosed with cancer. She is the strongest person I know, so I know she will take that cancer and make it her bitch. But, I also realized that life is too short. In less then a year, I myself had to undergo twice a cancer check up since I am one of those who will very likely get it as well. I came out clean, but I have already showed the symptoms twice.
And Maggie! Thank you! *smooches Maggie's cheek when she joins in on the happy dance* MUAH!
*Gives Kai a smooch on the cheek too*
If the two of you ever feel bleh, need someone to talk to, or just talk to an idiot who likes to make people laugh, then don't ever be afraid to talk to me ^^
And Kai? That song is great! I could hear right away.... I had the same thing when I was listening to a song with a band called Placebo. Here are some of the lyrics I could relate to sooooo much.
"And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh..."
And as for your link Kai, I just actually left a comment there as a matter of fact xD
*Showers Kai with some of my courage, throwing some confetti, sprinkles, chocolate, flowers and maybe even a hint of puppy's... Don't ask...*
And! I might even be brave enough to tell my dad if he comes over, which he might this weekend!
What actually gave me that extra step was the fact that just right before, a friend of mine told me she had just been diagnosed with cancer. She is the strongest person I know, so I know she will take that cancer and make it her bitch. But, I also realized that life is too short. In less then a year, I myself had to undergo twice a cancer check up since I am one of those who will very likely get it as well. I came out clean, but I have already showed the symptoms twice.
And Maggie! Thank you! *smooches Maggie's cheek when she joins in on the happy dance* MUAH!
*Gives Kai a smooch on the cheek too*
If the two of you ever feel bleh, need someone to talk to, or just talk to an idiot who likes to make people laugh, then don't ever be afraid to talk to me ^^
And Kai? That song is great! I could hear right away.... I had the same thing when I was listening to a song with a band called Placebo. Here are some of the lyrics I could relate to sooooo much.
"And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh..."
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 26, 2013, 02:58:40 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 26, 2013, 02:58:40 AM
I know what you mean, Dalex. That's how I feel too. I just can't stand to pretend anymore. The thought of dressing up and going out as a girl one more time makes me feel sick to my stomach. I actually (almost subconsciously) went through my closet today and took out nearly all my feminine clothes and packed them up in a box. I just couldn't stand seeing them hanging there anymore. They just don't belong in there.
Good luck when you come out to your dad! I hope it goes well! ;D
You're right, life is short. That must be scary. :( Cancer freaks me out. I try to exorcise and get plenty of fruits and veggies in my diet and be as healthy as I can, although sometimes I can get pretty lazy, lol :icon_doh: I also smoke, which sucks. I hate myself for starting. Thought I was smarter than that. ::) I keep trying to quit but its soooooo so hard. :P Have you heard of the Gerson Therapy or Dr. Burzynski? If not you should look into them. I'll give you the links. From what I understand they've got some very effective techniques they don't typically offer in general health facilities.
http://gerson.org/gerpress/the-gerson-therapy/
http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
I can recommend some good documentaries on them as well if you're interested. They have some great ones on Netflix if you have it. (I'm kind of a documentary nerd XP)
Yay!!! Confetti!!! Chocolate!!! Puppies...? o.O Only a hint? Why not the whole caboodle! Oh, and a smooch too? Well... thank you! :icon_chuckel:
And same to you, buddy. Ever need someone to talk to, I'm here! That goes for you too, Maggie. And anyone else reading this. I'm always ready to open my ear to a brother or sister in need. :)
Also, I'm glad you liked the song! ;D Running Up That Hill is a great song too. Placebo is awesome.
Good luck when you come out to your dad! I hope it goes well! ;D
You're right, life is short. That must be scary. :( Cancer freaks me out. I try to exorcise and get plenty of fruits and veggies in my diet and be as healthy as I can, although sometimes I can get pretty lazy, lol :icon_doh: I also smoke, which sucks. I hate myself for starting. Thought I was smarter than that. ::) I keep trying to quit but its soooooo so hard. :P Have you heard of the Gerson Therapy or Dr. Burzynski? If not you should look into them. I'll give you the links. From what I understand they've got some very effective techniques they don't typically offer in general health facilities.
http://gerson.org/gerpress/the-gerson-therapy/
http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
I can recommend some good documentaries on them as well if you're interested. They have some great ones on Netflix if you have it. (I'm kind of a documentary nerd XP)
Yay!!! Confetti!!! Chocolate!!! Puppies...? o.O Only a hint? Why not the whole caboodle! Oh, and a smooch too? Well... thank you! :icon_chuckel:
And same to you, buddy. Ever need someone to talk to, I'm here! That goes for you too, Maggie. And anyone else reading this. I'm always ready to open my ear to a brother or sister in need. :)
Also, I'm glad you liked the song! ;D Running Up That Hill is a great song too. Placebo is awesome.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 26, 2013, 05:50:34 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 26, 2013, 05:50:34 AM
I hope it goes well as well xD We will see how it goes !
And cancer freaks me out as well. Both my mom and grandma passed away due to cancer, and then having had to have gone through that check up... Was not very much fun... But, I still smoke xD I enjoy smoking too much ._. But! I save money rolling my own cigarettes x3
The Gerson Therapy or Dr. Burzynski? Nope, but I'll have a look at the links you sent :3 And Netflix doesn't work in the country I live in, so that will have to wait :P
And cancer freaks me out as well. Both my mom and grandma passed away due to cancer, and then having had to have gone through that check up... Was not very much fun... But, I still smoke xD I enjoy smoking too much ._. But! I save money rolling my own cigarettes x3
The Gerson Therapy or Dr. Burzynski? Nope, but I'll have a look at the links you sent :3 And Netflix doesn't work in the country I live in, so that will have to wait :P
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 27, 2013, 12:36:02 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 27, 2013, 12:36:02 AM
I have never tried that but I've heard rolled cigs are better for you because its pure tobacco and doesn't have all the other junk in it, but just as long as you use filters. I used to know a guy who rolled his own cigs and never used filters and he had the worst tobacco stains on his teeth and hands I had ever seen. :o
No Netflix there, eh? That sucks. Well, I found a few of the docs on youtube. Here's the links of you feel like checking them out. Hopefully these will work in your country.
The Gerson Miracle: youtube.com/movie?feature=relmfu&v=sbIixJI_oa4 (http://youtube.com/movie?feature=relmfu&v=sbIixJI_oa4)
Dying To Have Known: youtube.com/watch?v=DoUl7F7dWdE&feature=relmfu (http://youtube.com/watch?v=DoUl7F7dWdE&feature=relmfu)
The Beautiful Truth: youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&feature=relmfu (http://youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&feature=relmfu)
Burzynski: youtube.com/watch?v=rBUGVkmmwbk (http://youtube.com/watch?v=rBUGVkmmwbk)
Also, guys. On another note, I tried playing around with pictures again and I got some I was satisfied with. I was actually kinda shocked when I took this picture because this is kinda how I always pictured myself looking in my head. I looked at it and saw... ME. O_O I'm still in shock. I can't stop looking at it. It's the first time I've ever taken a picture of myself and didn't feel like I was looking at someone else. It's a strange feeling. :icon_weirdface: A good kinda strange though. lol
Well, here goes nothing! Say hello to the real Kai-san! X3 I think I still pretty much look like a girl, but you think could I pull it off? Let me know what you guys think.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg46.imageshack.us%2Fimg46%2F8508%2Fbg99.jpg&hash=d55040ed06a4d2b56db039d5366ba1952287719e)
I must say I think I make a pretty good lookin' fella. XP lol
No Netflix there, eh? That sucks. Well, I found a few of the docs on youtube. Here's the links of you feel like checking them out. Hopefully these will work in your country.
The Gerson Miracle: youtube.com/movie?feature=relmfu&v=sbIixJI_oa4 (http://youtube.com/movie?feature=relmfu&v=sbIixJI_oa4)
Dying To Have Known: youtube.com/watch?v=DoUl7F7dWdE&feature=relmfu (http://youtube.com/watch?v=DoUl7F7dWdE&feature=relmfu)
The Beautiful Truth: youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&feature=relmfu (http://youtube.com/watch?v=wvzDHGLEUyw&feature=relmfu)
Burzynski: youtube.com/watch?v=rBUGVkmmwbk (http://youtube.com/watch?v=rBUGVkmmwbk)
Also, guys. On another note, I tried playing around with pictures again and I got some I was satisfied with. I was actually kinda shocked when I took this picture because this is kinda how I always pictured myself looking in my head. I looked at it and saw... ME. O_O I'm still in shock. I can't stop looking at it. It's the first time I've ever taken a picture of myself and didn't feel like I was looking at someone else. It's a strange feeling. :icon_weirdface: A good kinda strange though. lol
Well, here goes nothing! Say hello to the real Kai-san! X3 I think I still pretty much look like a girl, but you think could I pull it off? Let me know what you guys think.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg46.imageshack.us%2Fimg46%2F8508%2Fbg99.jpg&hash=d55040ed06a4d2b56db039d5366ba1952287719e)
I must say I think I make a pretty good lookin' fella. XP lol
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 27, 2013, 08:33:11 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 27, 2013, 08:33:11 AM
I roll mostly because it is cheaper, though I also do like the taste of a certain tobacco I buy. I also roll with filters, else I just end up with a mouthful of tobacco xD Though, I do sometimes let myself buy ether Camel or Winston reds x3
And I shall have a look through those vids later tonight when I got the time :) Thanks.
And dude! You look awesome! I know what you mean though. When I took those pictures myself, I felt like I was beginning to look a bit closer to how I actually felt. And, you are also rocking those glasses! I had to leave mine out, due to two reasons! First, I seem to have miss placed them and can't find them. Second... They are sort of a pinkish purple :/ Got the frame on sale.... So... x3
I also came out to my dad last night... He took it amazingly well. He just said he would be supportive, and if it came down to it, he said he had always wanted a son. He also told me that he had suspected it, ever since I came out and told him I was bisexual, that it had been in the back of his head.
Next stop! Find a binder and see if they ship to Iceland xD
And I shall have a look through those vids later tonight when I got the time :) Thanks.
And dude! You look awesome! I know what you mean though. When I took those pictures myself, I felt like I was beginning to look a bit closer to how I actually felt. And, you are also rocking those glasses! I had to leave mine out, due to two reasons! First, I seem to have miss placed them and can't find them. Second... They are sort of a pinkish purple :/ Got the frame on sale.... So... x3
I also came out to my dad last night... He took it amazingly well. He just said he would be supportive, and if it came down to it, he said he had always wanted a son. He also told me that he had suspected it, ever since I came out and told him I was bisexual, that it had been in the back of his head.
Next stop! Find a binder and see if they ship to Iceland xD
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 27, 2013, 09:02:21 AM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 27, 2013, 09:02:21 AM
Looking handsome, Kai.
Can I offer a couple of things? First, face the camera directly. Guys don't do angle shots so much. And square up your shoulders to the photo, you want to provide as large and tough a presence as possible. Second, look through the glasses, not over. They're your glasses, so what, wanna fight about it? :D
That said I don't see why you couldn't pass, you look more than a bit like a guy I used to work with. Maybe go out in something unisex and see if anyone sees the real you?
You and Dalex, a pair of heartbreakers. 8)
love,
-maggie
Can I offer a couple of things? First, face the camera directly. Guys don't do angle shots so much. And square up your shoulders to the photo, you want to provide as large and tough a presence as possible. Second, look through the glasses, not over. They're your glasses, so what, wanna fight about it? :D
That said I don't see why you couldn't pass, you look more than a bit like a guy I used to work with. Maybe go out in something unisex and see if anyone sees the real you?
You and Dalex, a pair of heartbreakers. 8)
love,
-maggie
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 27, 2013, 11:18:20 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 27, 2013, 11:18:20 AM
Thanks so much, you two!!! ;D I have a small confession to make. CONFESSION! ...I don't actually wear glasses. XP Well, I'm SUPPOSED to have glasses, reading glasses, but I haven't had them in years since I lost my last pair and I can't really afford to get new ones. D: Those are actually a pair of my moms old glasses. I just kept them because I thought they looked cool. ;D And hey! They've come in handy! Truth is though I can't actually see a foot in front of me if I look through the lenses and it hurts my eyes if I try to. XD So that's why I'm looking over them instead. But yeah, I like glasses. XP I WISH I had my own pair to rock, but these have some aesthetic value even if they are otherwise useless. X3
Thanks for the advice though, Maggie. :) I will keep it in mind! Like you said, the real test is going out and seeing how people react to me. I'm still working myself up to that. ::)
Dalex, Camel good, Winston bad! XD lol, my mom used to smoke Winstons. I couldn't stand those things. For me its either Camel or Marlboro. Camel Turkish Silver are the best though. X3
And that's awesome about your dad! I'm glad he took it so well and he's being supportive! :D I think that's really nice what he said to you, about always wanting a son. I would be so happy if my dad said that to me when I come out. Although since my dad is unbelievably closed-minded and horrifically homophobic that will probably never happen. :P
I saw this binder recommended on the FTM Gear forum the other day: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,147009.0.html
Seems like some good things were said about it and its pretty darn cheap! That's the one I'm probably gonna try first since I don't got much money to spare. And I hope they ship over there too, Mr. Out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere! :laugh:
Also, Maggie, I was experimenting with a more masculine look the other day, but it didn't work out so good, lol. I thought I looked ridiculous. I think I much better pull off the little dorky dweeb look than the big tough macho guy look. XP But here, I'll show you one just for kicks, and because I think its funny. XD
Is this any better? XD
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg577.imageshack.us%2Fimg577%2F1867%2Feuqs.jpg&hash=9823da74d4f033cb8eea286bc413cf119543c583)
Thanks for the advice though, Maggie. :) I will keep it in mind! Like you said, the real test is going out and seeing how people react to me. I'm still working myself up to that. ::)
Dalex, Camel good, Winston bad! XD lol, my mom used to smoke Winstons. I couldn't stand those things. For me its either Camel or Marlboro. Camel Turkish Silver are the best though. X3
And that's awesome about your dad! I'm glad he took it so well and he's being supportive! :D I think that's really nice what he said to you, about always wanting a son. I would be so happy if my dad said that to me when I come out. Although since my dad is unbelievably closed-minded and horrifically homophobic that will probably never happen. :P
I saw this binder recommended on the FTM Gear forum the other day: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,147009.0.html
Seems like some good things were said about it and its pretty darn cheap! That's the one I'm probably gonna try first since I don't got much money to spare. And I hope they ship over there too, Mr. Out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere! :laugh:
Also, Maggie, I was experimenting with a more masculine look the other day, but it didn't work out so good, lol. I thought I looked ridiculous. I think I much better pull off the little dorky dweeb look than the big tough macho guy look. XP But here, I'll show you one just for kicks, and because I think its funny. XD
Is this any better? XD
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg577.imageshack.us%2Fimg577%2F1867%2Feuqs.jpg&hash=9823da74d4f033cb8eea286bc413cf119543c583)
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 27, 2013, 11:24:52 AM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 27, 2013, 11:24:52 AM
Kai,
Uh... sort of... :D
Were you trying to hulk out?
It's kind of a silly picture, but very manly. I don't see any girl in that one. A dorky guy, sure, but a guy nonetheless. ;)
-maggie
Uh... sort of... :D
Were you trying to hulk out?
It's kind of a silly picture, but very manly. I don't see any girl in that one. A dorky guy, sure, but a guy nonetheless. ;)
-maggie
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 27, 2013, 03:14:11 PM
Post by: Dalex on October 27, 2013, 03:14:11 PM
Kai, on that picture you remind me of a guy I used to go to school with x3 He was a goof ball, and fun to be around.
And thanks Kai, it did take a while to finally spill my guts and tell him xD Took me a bit back on how easy he took it, and he has actually been interested in listening to me and asking me questions about where I would buy a binder and such x3
Well, I mostly picked up on Winstons since my sister smokes them xD But I prefer Camel myself, it is the first cigarettes I started smoking proper.
Maggie is right! A dorky guy, but a guy non the less ;) But who does not like dorks? XP
And thanks Kai, it did take a while to finally spill my guts and tell him xD Took me a bit back on how easy he took it, and he has actually been interested in listening to me and asking me questions about where I would buy a binder and such x3
Well, I mostly picked up on Winstons since my sister smokes them xD But I prefer Camel myself, it is the first cigarettes I started smoking proper.
Maggie is right! A dorky guy, but a guy non the less ;) But who does not like dorks? XP
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 28, 2013, 09:56:00 PM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 28, 2013, 09:56:00 PM
XD Yes, yes, definitely hulking it out. Like I said, macho didn't work out so well, so I just started goofing off and... dork moment emerges! XP lol Thanks, guys. I like that I remind you both of guys you know. That makes me happeh. :D
So, I'm thinking about coming out to my friend and cousin, but I have no idea how. I'm kinda freaking out about it. >_< I think I am letting my anxiety get to me too much. I just can't figure out what to say. I wish I were as brave as you are Dalex. I'm such a chicken. lol >.<
So, I'm thinking about coming out to my friend and cousin, but I have no idea how. I'm kinda freaking out about it. >_< I think I am letting my anxiety get to me too much. I just can't figure out what to say. I wish I were as brave as you are Dalex. I'm such a chicken. lol >.<
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 28, 2013, 10:02:58 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 28, 2013, 10:02:58 PM
Kai, I'm going to tell my therapist in the morning. I'm freaking out, too. We can be freakout-buddies. (It's kinda like thunder-buddies but we don't have a song... yet.) I'm going to just try to get it all out as soon as I get in there. Maybe work a little story starting from my dark thoughts to how great accepting this has finally made me feel. I think that might help. Let your cousin know it was horrible but now you have hope, positivity. Friends like friends to be happy. Then give him time to process, don't demand a response immediately as much as you want immediate acceptance... That's my advice anyway, for what it's worth.
::hugs:: and much luck to you, little brother.
Also, if it helps, imagine Dalex is right there cheering you along, I'm sure he will be in spirit. I know I will be.
::hugs:: and much luck to you, little brother.
Also, if it helps, imagine Dalex is right there cheering you along, I'm sure he will be in spirit. I know I will be.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: kaylagirl0806 on October 28, 2013, 10:12:42 PM
Post by: kaylagirl0806 on October 28, 2013, 10:12:42 PM
My name is Kayla and I'm a transgender girl.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 28, 2013, 10:20:15 PM
Post by: Claire (formerly Magdalena) on October 28, 2013, 10:20:15 PM
Kayla, feels kind of good to write it down, doesn't it?
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: kaylagirl0806 on October 28, 2013, 10:22:29 PM
Post by: kaylagirl0806 on October 28, 2013, 10:22:29 PM
It feels amazing. ;D
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 28, 2013, 10:44:24 PM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 28, 2013, 10:44:24 PM
Hi, Kayla! :) Welcome to Susan's! Feel free to get in on the convo, everyone's very friendly here! Dalex, Maggie and I just joined not but a few days ago and we're already great friends. You should be our friend too! ;D There is so much acceptance and support here, you will love it!
And thanks so much Maggie! I will keep you both in mind! :) Hahaha, I have not seen Ted yet but I had to look up thunder-buddies and LOL! Yes! Very much like this. We will have to make up a song for ourselves. XD But seriously, You guys have already given me so much strength. I know I can do this! But for now I think I'll cling to your leg and whimper for a little while, lol. :icon_nervious:
*HUGS* for you and Dalex! And you too Kayla! ;D *HUGSHUGSHUGS!*
And thanks so much Maggie! I will keep you both in mind! :) Hahaha, I have not seen Ted yet but I had to look up thunder-buddies and LOL! Yes! Very much like this. We will have to make up a song for ourselves. XD But seriously, You guys have already given me so much strength. I know I can do this! But for now I think I'll cling to your leg and whimper for a little while, lol. :icon_nervious:
*HUGS* for you and Dalex! And you too Kayla! ;D *HUGSHUGSHUGS!*
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on October 29, 2013, 04:04:40 AM
Post by: Dalex on October 29, 2013, 04:04:40 AM
Maggie is right Kai, I'll be there cheering you on!
When I told people, I just went all 'Derp'... After a while, I just said this. "I have never been a girl. If you are confused, I'll answer any questions the best I can." And everything seemed to be a lot easier to talk about after that. I have been known for running head first into things, and then worry about the headache once it is there.... So, perhaps I am not the sharpest tool in the shed at times :P
Kai? You can do it! And if lending you a leg or an arm till you know it yourself, then go right a head ;) Besides, if not, I would most likely loose ether one in a strange gardening accident, involving a bee, a buddy and a big tree with a nail stuck to it.... *whistles innocently*
No, really, I'm here if there is anything. Hey, you can even add me on skype if you'd like. Just send me a PM and I shall pass the info ;) And that goes to everyone! If anyone needs a ear to listen to, I have been told I am rather down to earth and a good listener.
And welcome Kayla! It is great to see another sister around ;) Make yourself at home! Pull up a chair, here have a puppy, and some chocolate!
When I told people, I just went all 'Derp'... After a while, I just said this. "I have never been a girl. If you are confused, I'll answer any questions the best I can." And everything seemed to be a lot easier to talk about after that. I have been known for running head first into things, and then worry about the headache once it is there.... So, perhaps I am not the sharpest tool in the shed at times :P
Kai? You can do it! And if lending you a leg or an arm till you know it yourself, then go right a head ;) Besides, if not, I would most likely loose ether one in a strange gardening accident, involving a bee, a buddy and a big tree with a nail stuck to it.... *whistles innocently*
No, really, I'm here if there is anything. Hey, you can even add me on skype if you'd like. Just send me a PM and I shall pass the info ;) And that goes to everyone! If anyone needs a ear to listen to, I have been told I am rather down to earth and a good listener.
And welcome Kayla! It is great to see another sister around ;) Make yourself at home! Pull up a chair, here have a puppy, and some chocolate!
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 31, 2013, 02:07:46 AM
Post by: ~Kaiden on October 31, 2013, 02:07:46 AM
Thank you guys so much for the encouragement!!! I did it! Not the first people I was meaning to come out to, but I came out to my mom and brother! O.O It went really well!! :D I wrote a rather big post about it, its actually kinda funny how it went. XP lol
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,152499.new.html#new
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,152499.new.html#new
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Jamie D on November 04, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
Post by: Jamie D on November 04, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: Dalex on October 24, 2013, 12:07:02 AM
Thank you very much Maggie! *hugs*
And hehe x3 I will remember that! :D Wow, I don't think I have ever been as much accepted before :3
It was hard coming out as bisexual, due to the fact I looked past the gender and looked for personalities. I got harsh words thrown at me from both sides, really. One of the more common one, was that I just came out as Bi because I was too scared to come out as a gay. The second, was that it was an attempt to get an attention. So, I have never dared to say anything about how I feel what I am on the inside. So
*super hugs everyone*
Really, thank you all so much.
You know, Dalex, sexuality is often a roadside reststop on the highway to gender identity. I thought my gender issues were just an expression of my bisexuality - for decades! I am glad you are trying to figure it all out.
Title: Re: *fiddles with fingers before giving a shy wave* Hello there
Post by: Dalex on November 05, 2013, 05:09:41 AM
Post by: Dalex on November 05, 2013, 05:09:41 AM
Quote from: Jamie de la Rosa on November 04, 2013, 10:01:00 PM
You know, Dalex, sexuality is often a roadside reststop on the highway to gender identity. I thought my gender issues were just an expression of my bisexuality - for decades! I am glad you are trying to figure it all out.
That is actually what I told myself for a while xD That my sexuality was the reason for my gender issues, but now I know that was all wrong x3