Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know most of us have some sort of ticker in our sig... but how important are some of these dates to you? I see a lot of "since I started HRT" (I haven't reached that point yet).

The date I started my diary... which is the day I came out to myself (well... the first of the three days that took) I consider that a "rebirthday." I don't reject what came before, but I don't think I'll ever, ever, ever forget August 5th.

I know my date is pretty recent... but I wonder how important these things are to others.

To me, it's not so much the dates as the length of time. I.e. It's not that I went full time on 6/13/2013, it's that I've been full time for four and a half months. It's not that I started HRT on Jan 20, it's that I have been on HRT for however many months.

Well there is the date of manufacture (born) and there is the date I realized I was an employer not an employee.

There is the date (more a year range) when the old person died (the original occupant), a very slow death from fybromyalgia killing that person off even if not physically. I don't need to have anyone explain 'death' to me, already been there.

There are a few other key moments. Date the wife finally actually said what she meant, which led to marriage counseling which led to me finally getting her in environment where she was expected to talk.

There is the date when I finally made it known I had some gender problems.

I don't recall the day I finally recognized there wasn't a 'man' inside me to kill, that 'he' had never existed at all. But that is the day I became a woman. My transition ended that day, I am already transitioned mentally, it is done, finished over.

Today, I consider myself no different than any other over weight woman pissed off with her appearance. I like being bald as much as any cancer victim might, or older woman suffering from hair loss due to age. My mother hardly could be said to have a great deal of hair herself (but her's is at least evenly spread out). I like having no tits as much as any other woman that is flat would like it in a world dominated by women that look like some form of humanoid dairy cow :)

I am a work in progress. I am no different than any other girl that has allowed herself to go, to look like a train wreck :)

And some of the best looking women in my life, are transgender like me, and have some of the same desires to get rid of certain things. But from the neck up are clearly the sort of views that make men horny :)
Oh if only I could look like my friend Sierra, I'd likely need to like men just because I'd be getting so much attention from them anyway :)

Only two dates carry significance for me; my birthday and my re-birthday - the former is "public" and the latter is very private. 64 years on one calendar and coming up to 40 years on the other ....... geez I am getting OLD   :o ;D

Suzi said it best for me.

Life for me began 15 May 2012...that's the date I moved out of my ex's and got my own place.  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fclicking-your-heels-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=3e7e95533012db5f0d3fb7a30419835d61b2c9ce)

21 Feb 2012--started HRT
20 May 2012--came out at work
15 June 2012--legally changed my name

Are they important to me? Hmm...well I can remember them without effort, and on those days I've given mental congratulations to myself...so somewhere inside yeah, it's important.

Do *I* feel like they're important? No, not really. But *I* am not all of me.

My HRT start date is a huge one for me... that was the date that finally, after 14 years of feeling like crap about my body and my life on a basic level, I finally declared "ENOUGH!" And took control of my own life back. January 8th 2013 (started anti-androgens) / January 11th 2013 (started estrogen) will forever go down as probably the most important dates of my entire life.

(I also like keeping an HRT ticker down there so that everyone can know, when looking at my pictures and posts, what point of HRT I'm at. Because I know I was always dying to know at what point I could expect certain changes.)

I don't really remember dates very well. That's not how my memory prioritizes information. So I can't give the date of starting HRT or having SRS or anything. Instead I mark my body for the occasion. Lobe piercings after I went full time, tattoo after my name change, industrial piercing after my FFS, helix after I graduated from university, etc. They act as external memory, echoing some of the most important moments of my life.

I was a little bit jealous of everyone's date trackers when I first got here, but now I don't feel so worried about it now that I've checked off a few of my own. I can't remember the dates though. I tried to make them special, but I couldn't wait.

for some reason I never really cared about dates...probably cause I never set any time frame for anything. I took things slowly, the only thing I rushed a little was my name change. Only because the second person I came out too kept telling me I needed to change my name. About a month of coming out I changed my name.....but I was transitioning for basically 1 1/2 years before and was being mis-gendered a year before coming out. I only remember it was 2 years ago this month that I legally changed my name....other than that the other things I don't recall exact months...

The crappy thing is...the one who was so accepting and helped me feel confidant in changing my name hasn't talked with me since :( I really miss her!!

I don't really keep track as the future is what I look forward to, the past is done with. I easily recall  2.20pm  in the pharmacy car park taking my very first blue tablet! I just can't remember the date!!!

I agree with Cindy. I remember clearly taking my first blue M&M only a few weeks ago.
Such an important date now in my life, far more important than other dates as it has so much meaning deep down.

I did feel jealous of others but got over it as I took my own first steps to true happiness.

J

I can see how jealous people might get... but that's externalizing your own problem. My biggest fear is being contraindicated!! Spiro is easy - get an orchi - but how could I get around not being able to have E? I expect just about everything would trigger you. I don't mean to sound harsh... but dates and time have always been important to me. If who I am is what triggers someone, so be it. I do feel immensely for anyone forced down the path my family has kept asking for - they make me angry when they say that, but what could I be angry at then?

I know my coming out is a big one, but I expect AA and especially E to be bigger... and full time will be #1. Until then, coming out is all I have to look back to and my endo appointment is the only date I have to look forward to (I'd said "all I have to look forward to" but that is clearly false).

I think we have to be very careful not to live to other peoples time tables. There are woman here who have been so upset in watching their sisters getting GRS that they could not do, for financial or whatever reasons, that they have left.

For each of us the journey is different, there is no right or wrong one. Yes take pride in your accomplishments and be justifiably proud but temper it with the sadness that a sister, or a brother, may not be able to take that step. They are no lesser men or woman for that.

At times I feel horrible that I am so fortunate to be me, but not being me doesn't help anyone.
I'm dealing with an aspect of that situation at the moment and it is hurting me.

Quote from: Cindy on October 25, 2013, 03:40:30 AM
I think we have to be very careful not to live to other peoples time tables. There are woman here who have been so upset in watching their sisters getting GRS that they could not do, for financial or whatever reasons, that they have left.

For each of us the journey is different, there is no right or wrong one. Yes take pride in your accomplishments and be justifiably proud but temper it with the sadness that a sister, or a brother, may not be able to take that step. They are no lesser men or woman for that.

I completely agree. In our community there is much to lament, much to be justifiably angry over. Those feelings aren't and shouldn't be limited to Susan's either.

QuoteAt times I feel horrible that I am so fortunate to be me, but not being me doesn't help anyone.
I'm dealing with an aspect of that situation at the moment and it is hurting me.

You should never feel bad about being yourself. Life is partly what you make of it, and partly what you're given to build from. If you're fortunate and (knowingly) use that fortune to harm others or yourself, you've wasted what you've been given. I don't think that's true of many here, if any. If being who you are causes that pain, you're not the one wasting fortune away.

It would also do good for people to remember that we all like to laud our successes and hide our failures. It's good to speak of the bad times... but I'm not going to make a ticker for my impending divorce. I'm not going to shout about how poorly off I am afterward (though I'm sure I'll be back here in tears, missing my kids and companion). Rejoice in the things that make you happy and support those in need of support and, I sincerely hope, nobody can complain.

Two years Full Time is significant because:
1. In the UK I am now eligible to go on the waiting list to see the surgeon.  That's the important one for me.
2. I can apply for a Gender Recognition Certificate.  Actually I can't because the divorce isn't final yet, but I'm starting to get the papers together.

I might keep the "Full Time Birthday" on the calendar because it coincides with the birthday of the minister of my church.  That's something nice to remember too.

For me, the big one is HRT.  I have been waiting all my life to be recognized as female, and now that I have started the process I have literally done everything I can and still it seems hopelessly slow.  I'm out to my Mom, I'm out to my kids, my girlfriend, her kids, even my boss (although not out to my workplace/client).  I have a pretty well stocked wardrobe with slightly more clothes than my girlfriend has, fun stuff, every day stuff, and business attire, all (mostly) appropriate to a woman in her late thirties/early forties.  I have a facebook profile for those who know the new, authentic me.  I visit Susan's all the time, where I can interact as the real me.

HRT is the one thing I can't rush.  Between my therapist wanting to go the standard WPATH three months and the best endo in my city not having an opening until January 20, I'm going out of my mind.  The tracker, the countdown is so I can see that I am getting there, that I am making progress... because otherwise I'm afraid I will break down.  The dysphoria comes in waves, but each time it comes back stronger, it seems.  It's gotten to the point where I don't even look down there anymore.  When I get home, I climb out of my drag work clothes and into proper clothing as quickly as possible, and try to avoid seeing my face unless I'm going out and need to put makeup on.

For me, it's not about remembering the dates behind me (I just realized I never even wrote down the date I came out to Mom)... it's for marking progress toward a goal.

The dates aren't that important, but I do care about the time frame of the whole process.  That way I can judge my progress and compare it to the experiences of others.  While I know my hrt start date, it holds no special feelings for me.  Actually, that was a very tough day for reasons unrelated to my transition.  I was ecstatic about starting hrt, but wasn't happy that I was going to lose my car for a few days, lol.