Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I haven't been binding for the last few days part because I have a bit of a cough and I don't want to make it worse, and part because I am just sick and tired of the pain.
It feels really weird and wrong.  I have a small enough chest that it's not obvious as long as I wear a baggy-ish shirt (so practically all of my clothes are fine), but I can see them and feel them move when I move and ugggghhhhhh
But on the other hand, my shoulders and neck are starting to feel less sore, and I can actually take a full breath.  Binding hurts so bad, I'm wearing the correct size and everything, but I have a pretty active job and I work 7-8 hours a day.  I really can't decide what's worse.  Do I want to deal with dysphoria, or physical pain?
This is just making me want top surgery even more.  One day, one day I won't have to deal with this anymore.  But I barely make enough to live, I have no idea when I'll actually be able to afford it.

I really just needed to vent but anyone else dealt with this?

Yup, I seem to have the same issue. Top surgery is at least another year away, and binding is just very uncomfortable. I don't like tight things around my body at all, so a binder is incredibly annoying. But as you describe, the feeling of free range moobs is also frustrating. Like you, my chesticles are small and I don't need to wear anything to hide them, but compared to a male chest, they still stick out more and it makes me very dysphoric.

I guess I don't really have advice apart from trying new binders. They are uncomfortable, but real pain should not happen. Maybe the model you have just isn't right for you, and a new brand could work? 

Since you said you have a small chest, what I do when I can't stand binding is wear a sports bra. I get a little compression but it's not at all painful.

I suggest a sports bra or a compression shirt from Underworks :)

A compression shirt? These are also nice. A little bit better than underarmour maybe. There is also a little discount for 3 of them. http://gc2compression.com/GC2-Gynecomastia-FTM-Chest-Compression-Tank-gc2t.htm

I'm hardly in the right size for these but they even worked a little for me.

--Jay

I never really used my binder because my chest was also small enough
to not be too noticeable under baggy clothes. And I was masculine enough to still pass.

Personally I was more comfortable with nothing under.
Depends which evil you can deal with better.

If you're small chested you really don't need a lot to bind, and from what you're describing, you don't have the right size at all.  I'm not in any way small chested and I can do 3-4 hours of Taekwon-do going hard at it with enough compression to pass and it never, I repeat, NEVER hurts.  It's not comfortable, not in the slightest, but it doesn't cause pain.  When you talk about being able to take a deep breath without one now, that's just another red flag.  I can take a deep breath with mine.  That's why I can do Taekwon-do in mine.  I can wear fitted clothes and pass so it's not that I'm going too loose, it's obviously enough to pass.

So to bind or not bind?  I'd say not bind with what you have.  But to deal with dysphoria, I'd suggest going a size up and if you're small, just get a half top version that's more like a binding bra.  Then you can bind when you need to.

Every now and again I have to stop binding for a week or two because I get a spell of costochondritis...the first time, I felt horrible. Dysphoria was really bad, but I was at the point where it was physically impossible to bind. But I found that even with a fairly large chest, I passed 100% as male. Even when going through a body scanner and getting patted down by a male TSA officer. After that, it became easier to accept the times I can't bind. It still sucks, I can feel dysphoria if I get aware of my chest, but it's much much better now that I realize they're not noticeable to anyone else. Sure, they're noticeable to me and that's the worst part, but, if others can overlook them and see a male, why can't I? Know what I'm saying?

I rarely bind and never more than an hour or two. I love the way I look but when I feel a binder on my chest I am constantly reminded of the fact that I do, in fact have boobs. When I don't wear a binder I don't think about it, I don't pass yet binder or no, so I go with what makes me more comfortable.

I would also say that if you have a small chest, try a sports bra. And if it hurts that much from binding then you have to be doing it pretty tight. I think I'm somewhere in the "b" range and I use the velcro type of binders so I can adjust them. They don't get me perfectly flat, but if you're not a beanpole skinny guy, you probably wouldn't have a perfectly flat chest anyway. There's muscles and fat on plenty of guy's chests. There's also that kinesio tape stuff that I've heard some people use. It's specifically for taping muscles but if you have a small chest perhaps you can put a couple pieces on to put the moobs in lock down and wear your baggier tops with no other binding?

kinseo tape does not hold as well as one would think.