Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have a question...does anyone else ever find that sometimes you just get tired of the whole Transsexual thing?  While I'm waiting to have the money saved up so I can afford my surgery, there are some days where I check my e-mails or go to the forums here, and I find myself weary from reading about TS-ism and TS things.  There are days where I just want to go about my life and not give a thought to trans-anything.  I'm not saying that I want to abandon my goal of having surgery, because I have noticed that when I have talked myself into that, I slowly sank into a depression.  But some days, I just feel that I need a break from all this trans-angst ("trangst?").
(Of course on days like that, I don't visit the board or read any ts-related e-mail).

Yep now and then. That's why we have the General Discussions and Activism and Politics areas :)

Debbie,

For most of my adult life (post transition) I've had no interest at all in TG/TS issues.  And right now, I'm seriously waning.

I'm very happy that this forum has an extended focus to actually create a sense of real community.  It is nice to come and talk of just about anything besides TS'ism and yet still have contact with similar minded people and "my friends".  That's why my posts have not been very TG centered of late.  I still pop in every day, but I'm not here very long like I used to.

Cindi

Yeah I get it too. I kinda feel like I'm done with the transition stuff, so most of my posts are responding to people, rather than starting new topics.

Dennis

Quote from: Kiera on June 28, 2007, 03:16:19 PM
Debbie, if you are full time (and just waiting for SRS) then I would say what you are experiencing is probably perfectly normal and I look forward to the day when I can attain to your status of boredom with the whole TS thing. I think it is called getting on with your life? ;D

Yup.  There are days when I get on the board and think "Do I really care?"  And then I just close the window.

Quote from: Cindi Jones on June 28, 2007, 02:29:39 PM
I'm very happy that this forum has an extended focus to actually create a sense of real community.  It is nice to come and talk of just about anything besides TS'ism and yet still have contact with similar minded people and "my friends".

Exactly, and even the TSism talk is sometimes more a way to socialize with people here I've come to know and love over this last year or so. I might avoid the heavy topics now and then, but I find it hard to resist checking in and seeing what everyone is up to, to see if everyone is doing OK, etc.

~Kate~

Debbie,

Sure.
.....................
I was reading "Living with Learning Disabilities" by David Hall and read about Thomas Edison having learning disabilities.  A reporter asked Thomas Edison how it felt to fail at making the light bulb 1000 times.  Thomas Edison replied, "I didn't fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps."

That is a great attitude from a great inventor that did not stop trying!

Quote from: Kiera on June 28, 2007, 03:16:19 PM

Debbie, if you are full time (and just waiting for SRS) then I would say what you are experiencing is probably perfectly normal and I look forward to the day when I can attain to your status of boredom with the whole TS thing. I think it is called getting on with your life? ;D Although I am only 7 months HRT and a far cry from full time there are days when I cry alot, stress over what is going to happen in the future and wish that tomorrow was today and then there are other days when there is no time to worry about who I am or "being me" (ie: like work days) and physical and emotional exhaustion seems to be the only thing that is left.

Fortunately the last 30 years has demonstrated (to me at least) that those kinda days are merely temporary and happier days are indeed ahead for us!

Cheers,  :icon_bunch:

*hugs* I will admit to a level of moodiness when I wrote my original post.  Some of my "boredom with the whole TS thing" comes from the way that the local TG support group in my area just seems to be stuck in a loop,  going over the same stuff over and over, and I am feeling a need to move on, but not knowing how, and being a little afraid to as well.

Yes, very true.

At times I find the forums and the boards very depressing and it brings back memories that I have long left behind.But my life reached the lowest point ever before and when I transitioned and If I can offer anyone hope that there is a future, then thats worth sticking around for.

Buffy

Absolutely. I don't visit the site when that's my mood.

I've had some very intense times over the years when I couldn't barely think about anything else except gender issues. Once I came to resolution and figured out what felt right, I can go lots of time without thinking about it.

zythyra

Quote from: Debbie_Anne on June 28, 2007, 06:59:08 PM

Quote from: Kiera on June 28, 2007, 03:16:19 PM

Debbie, if you are full time (and just waiting for SRS) then I would say what you are experiencing is probably perfectly normal and I look forward to the day when I can attain to your status of boredom with the whole TS thing. I think it is called getting on with your life? ;D Although I am only 7 months HRT and a far cry from full time there are days when I cry alot, stress over what is going to happen in the future and wish that tomorrow was today and then there are other days when there is no time to worry about who I am or "being me" (ie: like work days) and physical and emotional exhaustion seems to be the only thing that is left.

Fortunately the last 30 years has demonstrated (to me at least) that those kinda days are merely temporary and happier days are indeed ahead for us!

Cheers,  :icon_bunch:

*hugs* I will admit to a level of moodiness when I wrote my original post.  Some of my "boredom with the whole TS thing" comes from the way that the local TG support group in my area just seems to be stuck in a loop,  going over the same stuff over and over, and I am feeling a need to move on, but not knowing how, and being a little afraid to as well.

I had a similar experience with the local support group many years back, same old, same old...  Fashion tips, outings, to mention a few, nothing really concrete.  Lets face it there's only one way to skin a cat (no offense meant to the cat lovers).

I would strongly recommend that you start doing things for yourself, sure that lacks the safety and security of a support group but there comes a time we you need to step out on your own and discover things for yourself.  There are going to be dangers that's for sure, there are going to disappointments that's for sure, there are going to mountains that seem too steep to climb that's for sure, you will loose family and friends that's for sure, but you will find you and with that may be happiness That's For Sure.

I believe that the key to success is to be confident in what you do and the best way to do that is to keep the steps small and achievable as little victories are so much better than big defeats.

Steph

Yes. I felt that way a short time ago. I was dealing with a lot of other issues, and really couldn't bear the pain of being TS on top of everything else. I needed to tune out being TS for a while, because there was so much other stuff to deal with. I still made brief visits here everyday to read the posts, but didn't post much myself.

Quote from: Debbie_Anne on June 28, 2007, 12:48:23 PM
I have a question...does anyone else ever find that sometimes you just get tired of the whole Transsexual thing?  While I'm waiting to have the money saved up so I can afford my surgery, there are some days where I check my e-mails or go to the forums here, and I find myself weary from reading about TS-ism and TS things.  There are days where I just want to go about my life and not give a thought to trans-anything.  I'm not saying that I want to abandon my goal of having surgery, because I have noticed that when I have talked myself into that, I slowly sank into a depression.  But some days, I just feel that I need a break from all this trans-angst ("trangst?").
(Of course on days like that, I don't visit the board or read any ts-related e-mail).

All the time, but there really is no general topic I can think of that somebody won't edit, change, argue about, or want to fight you over, or be offended by it so why bother? There are too many uptight, hormonal, right, overly serious people here for a joking smart a$$ prankster like me to start a new topic outside the realm of TSism.

   Yeah, I get burned out on TS/TG issues sometimes.  That's why I like going into the philosophy, spirituality, and other non TS/TG specific areas here.  It also helps to just get out of the house and follow other interests.
   Recharge your batteries and then when you feel like seeing what's happening with gender issues, you'll have more to contribute and a fresh perspective.

   Steph's advice is good. Maybe get away from your group and try things on your own.


good luck

Rebecca
Posted on: June 28, 2007, 09:40:40 PM

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Quote from: Lori on June 28, 2007, 09:35:40 PM
All the time, but there really is no general topic I can think of that somebody won't edit, change, argue about, or want to fight you over, or be offended by it so why bother? There are too many uptight, hormonal, right, overly serious people here for a joking smart a$$ prankster like me to start a new topic outside the realm of TSism.

Maybe we should have a section for smartass posts that cannot be attacked.  No, I guess someone will complain that they can't attack you.  ;)

Quote from: Lori on June 28, 2007, 09:35:40 PM
All the time, but there really is no general topic I can think of that somebody won't edit, change, argue about, or want to fight you over, or be offended by it so why bother? There are too many uptight, hormonal, right, overly serious people here for a joking smart a$$ prankster like me to start a new topic outside the realm of TSism.

I sincerly hope you are joking... Keep the topic relatively clean, follow the rules, and no one should bother it.

Quote from: Susan on June 28, 2007, 10:04:34 PM

Quote from: Lori on June 28, 2007, 09:35:40 PM
All the time, but there really is no general topic I can think of that somebody won't edit, change, argue about, or want to fight you over, or be offended by it so why bother? There are too many uptight, hormonal, right, overly serious people here for a joking smart a$$ prankster like me to start a new topic outside the realm of TSism.

I sincerly hope you are joking... Keep the topic relatively clean, follow the rules, and no one should bother it.

   I kind of see where Lori is coming from. It hasn't happened to me lately, but a few times I was just trying to be silly.  I even wrote a disclaimer saying I was kidding, but I was challenged.  I think I've learned to target to my audience better or something because it hasn't happened for a little while.


Peace,

Rebecca

Quote from: Susan on June 28, 2007, 10:04:34 PM
I sincerly hope you are joking... Keep the topic relatively clean, follow the rules, and no one should bother it.

Well lets give it a shot and see who I can upset first...I suppose there is an ignore button right? I do get pms about things I say...Like..."Are you serious"? "Surely you don't mean that!! I thought you were a better person than that", "OMG do you truly believe what you wrote"??

Of course I don't...usually :P Like that thread about child labor and sweat shops....I ruffled some feathers in that one  :laugh: That thread was getting so serious and went from "I shop at Walmart" into a soap box for cheap labor and children working in sweat shops. WTF???? So basically threads like that I just take the opposite stance and say whatever just to lighten the mood...because ITS FUNNY. To me anyway....at least I can laugh. You may get the last laugh in the end Susan, but I'm just usually trying to get some of the tension out. I would think twice before taking me literally.

I know, Lori.
   A couple of times I wrote the most ridiculous things and they were treated seriously.  I started trying to stamp a "this is a joke" message onto them.  I also use the laughing joking emoticons. Most people seem to get it.  Just a few don't.  I think it's a matter of some people not really being able to pick up a tongue in cheek response from reading a message. I believe that this is a matter that should be looked into by scientists. "Why do some people understand the subtext of humor in a printed message while others do not?"
   The research can be illustrated by having pictures of chimps refusing to laugh at a picture of a person slipping on a banana peel. They can have the unsmiling chimps filling out forms explaining just what is not so funny.

   Actually, this stuff happens when I speak to people sometimes. I'll say something so obviously ridiculous and they'll call me on it.

   Life. Why bother with it if you can't laugh?

   By the way, there is nothing funny about children working in sweat shops. If it weren't for them, their parents might have to get jobs.  :P

By the way, if I'm bugging you with my responses, just tell me to get lost.

I want to thank everyone for their responses.  I realise now that my original topic isn't what is really bothering me.  Part of my moodiness has come from a falling out with another friend of mine (who is a post-op TS), who for the longest time had been the main person other than my roomate who I would rely on.  Without going into too much detail, I found out the hard way that going along with what other's want regardless of how I feel not only doesn't work, but can lose you friends.  I am realising now that I need to "get a life", find out what I enjoy, and make more friends.  I am the sort who has relied on others for so long, I really haven't found out just what I want to do.  And I also tend to be a bit shy, so making friends isn't easy for me, so I tend to cling to those I have. 
Posted on: June 29, 2007, 12:59:48 AM

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I just am not sure how to go about it.  (As dumb as that sounds.)

Oh, yes indeedy!  Marcy and I have what we call the "Golden Hour", during which we can concentrate on ts-ism, my day being ts, her day with me being ts......you get the picture.  After the "golden hour", we try hard to just lead normal lives. Once in a while one or the other of us will say "honey, the golden hour is over...."

Yeah, I get "gendered-out", both at home, and now at work.


Trying to be myself,
which is so much more than being ts,

Bev

Hi all, what a relating subject. I got all wound up with the city and a lot of other TS things and just threw in the towel and gave up on all the trans things in my life. I'm back now and I really do miss relating to most people on this issue as it is my life. I can't run from it nor do I want to. I love who I am, I have never stopped loving myself, but go really tired of others who can't seemed to like themselves for who they really are. I'm proud to be me. I'm back at working with trans people with the city and I'm back here. I am a very emotional type person, always have been and finding about who I am, well, kind of makes me go off the deep end every once in a while. Maybe more than I would like to count. I'm a lot more than just trans, I have had learning disabilities and some other personal problems. I still must be OK as my wife is still with me after 38 years and two children and numerous cats and dogs and other farm animals, not to mention being post op for 3 years now. Yes, I do need a break from some subjects, like TG'ism, every once in a while. It helps me clear my hollow head from time to time, in doing so I hope I don't tread on anyone.
Love Sheila

Nice to see you around, Sheila.

   I was wonder about you a few days ago.  I'd like to work with trans people. Maybe someday.


Hugs,

Rebecca

Quote from: RebeccaFog on June 29, 2007, 11:34:56 AM

.

   I was wonder about you a few days ago.  I'd like to work with trans people. Maybe someday.


Hugs,

Rebecca

Rebecca, you are working with trans people now. There are people out there who maybe lurking and read one or two of your posts and say that is me, there are others out there like me. They will start by joining in on a place like Susans or another place and then learn more about who they are. They won't feel like they are some freak, cause there are others just like who they are, out in the world, their state or community.
Sheila

Thank you, Sheila.

A small update...
After visiting a friend of mine in the hospital after her SRS, and she and I and two other good friends got to chatting, we all realised that just the four of us were the best support group we could have.  So we've decided to break away from our local TS support group and get together at the least once a month.  After all I've been going through in my head and with others in the local TG community, it feels great to feel that I belong to a small sisterhood of close friends.  I have not been this happy in quite awhile.

That's really great news Bebbie-Anne.

While support groups can often provide the technical support that we need quite often that personal support is lacking.  We choose our circle of friends for many reasons and one important one is that we can talk and share our sorrows, happiness and problems.  It's true that our friends may not be up to speed on our Trans issues but they are still there none the less.

It's good to have friends like your's, treasure them cause they are special.

Steph

Yeah sometimes I get sick of talking about TG and hormones and all that. I come to this place mostly because I get plenty wound up living here in south Dakotastan (but I'm making better strides at getting out) and have to keep myself from banging my head against the wall all day.

When i need a break from the topic.... I log off :P

Quote from: Rachael on February 23, 2009, 08:27:26 AM
When i need a break from the topic.... I log off :P

LOL  I normally mark all topics as "read", except the ones that appear interesting ;)  That seems to do the trick for me!

;D


tink :icon_chick:

I have had days were I wanted nothing to do with being TS.  I am ready to just live my life.  But I am still young in transition.  There is much to learn yet.  And there is the final step to work for, SRS.

But there are the new ones to consider, they need people to look up too.  Just as I do, with some of you older girls ( transition wise, not age ).

Janet

im still pre op (depressingly) but trans fills up about 1% of my life? I dont think about it IRL at all tbh... i read and post on this board as something to do... well i know about it? why not?

I find myself in and out of the mood to read some sections of the forums. Just depends on my mood I guess.

I also find myself in a oh I have to comment on this one mood... That doesn't happen often though... Today just seems to be a weird day for me =/

The day when I am "only" a transgendered person and not a sibling, parent, employee, etc.. etc.. etc.. or "transgendered first and foremost!" is the day when I've gone too far.

I "transitioned" in 1974 at the age of 24 and led a normal woman's life for over 30 years. I popped in to the forums a few years ago and have stayed (mostly) ever since in the hope of doing some good.

I DO find it very hard quite often. You see, my "transition" and the years after just confirmed to me that I was just a normal woman (after the physical stuff was set right). Coming to these forums and reading the debates about "what is a woman" and 'are you ever really a woman if you were trans' just eats away at the things I came to accept years ago and all the things my life's experience has taught me. That's why, every once in awhile, I just have to stay away from the boards for awhile, surround myself with friends (and cute guys) and remind myself just where I fit in the real world. I have been on the verge of taking another "vacation" in the past few weeks.

Yes....
I get very tired of the whole ts thing sometimes.  I'm more interested in the lesbian thing now, but mostly, I'm just another woman trying to pay a mortgage, just another partner looking for a new place to have lunch and fun (what we can afford).  Just another woman in a two mom household.
I'm just another woman who never thinks about being 'read' in public.
Just a woman, working an aggressive, mostly male sales job.

Mostly, Marcy and I just go about our new lives, being 'us'.

Then, not every day, I pop in here for a while.

I don't know why I still do.


Bev

My answer is "yes." Consistently. I tend to do what Tink does.

It's not so much the topics as people in general I sometimes need a break from. I have to do the emotional equivalent of a memory dump every so often or I start to feel quite unwell.

When that's done, the actual subjects don't interest me as much as those who post in them and why they think the way they do.