Susan's Place Transgender Resources

In the HRT forum the subject of using false pictures and avatars has been brought up, so I'm starting a new thread here about honesty.
Is it honest to post a picture of someone else and pretend it's you? I have learned to my cost that honesty is essential in our situation - for years I lied by default to my wife by not telling her about my ->-bleeped-<-.  So I will not post a picture of myself until I look reasonably passable and will certainly not try to pass off someone elses image as me.
What do you others think about this?
Louise

Thanks for starting the new thread Louise, here's my two-penny worth then...

I don't think it's really a big deal what picture people decide to post (as long as it's not offensive to others). I'm sure most people are not doing it because they are looking to deceive people, they are probably very honest people and no doubt just want to express to us all how they feel inside or how they'd love to look.

Maybe, you could even say that people who post pics of themselves as they'd like to be, or that express their inner feelings, are actually being more honest than others, by showing us more than just what's on the surface...

MVER XXX

dunno.  u gotta ask them.  this is me in my avitar.  dont know everbody here. I aint an important dude so it dont matter to show my face here  lol :laugh:
many poeple here dont show there fotos 'cos of there jobs and sh*t.  I aint got that problem.  my job aint that important. u dig?

I don't post my pic because of privacy issues. Someone would have to be very daft to think I'm the late Jackie Gleason. I do believe it's deceitful for someone to try to pass off another pic as their own. However, I don't believe that those who simply post a pic of a celebrity or such are trying to deceive unless it's clear they're pretending it's their own pic. I think many are just not yet comfortable enough with their appearance or passability to post their own pic. By choosing a pic of a person who is unambiguously male or female, they are expressing their gender as much as they can.   

I just really like the Art style of Disgaea( The game this pic came from).

  And no pic for me untill I can shed this facial hair. After which, I may actually, be able to leave the house comfortably and maybe...even go full time.

I personally think it's better to put 'no picture' in your aviator or a 'teddy bear' than to put a misleading picture of a beautiful genetic female which is presented as the person who makes the post. Psychologically you will start to believe that is the peson you are talking to and in reality they could be a 6' 4" trucker from Wigan.......obviously I'm not saying that's they case in this forum but it happens in other forums and it can be a bit scary.....

QuoteI think many are just not yet comfortable enough with their appearance or passability to post their own pic.

agree with Nero here, I already have a nice long hair but the face is still not the way I want to look so you will need to wait some more time before I post my first real pic.  ;)

* :icon_hug: *

Michelle

Hey, I'm TOTALLY not comfortable with my appearance at all, but I decided to post a real picture of me as my way of saying 'here I am.' I look forward to my changing look and as it changes, I'll update my avatar. If someone says they are someone they are not, I think that's an issue but if they post a famous person or something, I don't see the big deal with that.

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on June 30, 2007, 04:18:55 AM
Hey, I'm TOTALLY not comfortable with my appearance at all, but I decided to post a real picture of me as my way of saying 'here I am.' I look forward to my changing look and as it changes, I'll update my avatar. If someone says they are someone they are not, I think that's an issue but if they post a famous person or something, I don't see the big deal with that.

I can't see you properly in that picture but I understand the point. Not many people are happy with their own images (me included but I put mine in anyway) but some of picture's in people's aviators are famous people I am not familiar with and so I thought that was how the person looked.

I think a lot of people in this forum are not yet at the starting point of transition which I undertand makes it difficult. I've not transitioned properly either (not through choice of course) but feel still comfortable enough about posting a picture of myself. 

Sometimes, its the opposite, I feel that my picture rubs it in, because I was very lucky
and got nice looks.

So many strugle with various transition issues, including me (but not too much about how I look) and how can people really believe me when I say I still feel insecure about how I look, about life in general, I feel like someone will discover me to be a "fraud" and not authentic.

Some TS ask: how can someone looking like you have any problems? They look at my plight in disbelief, like I'm a crybaby for even having any problems because I look good!!! It deeply offends me considering how messed up I still feel I am inside. A women is not just skin,clothes and makeup, I'm much more than that. I need to be a rounded women, one that is a multi-hued and rich in promise as the fresh morning sun's shimmering light as it kisses the oceans's might.

Its a tricky issue.

I really dont like people posting pics of beautiful women or cute guys (be they famous or not) as some of us might be deceived into thinking that it was the poster her / himself.  Especially when the photo is a pic the poster could never remotely aspire too, say a 50-60 year old posting a pic of a 20-something babe ... exception maybe when the pic is someone iconic like Aubrey Hepburn, Marylin Monroe, Marlon Brando, James Dean, who we all recognise.

And doing so confuses us when the avatar is real but almost too good to be true pretty (Debbie ?).

We naturally look to the avatar to tell us something about the poster in the absence of other info, as newbies have no idea who we are until they've been around a bit and learn from reading our posts.  Personally I like to know the status of the person who's opinion or advice I'm reading - age, pre-non-post op TS/TG/TV, etc ....

Would be nice to have something in the avatar column such as "Laura, 48, post-op TS, Reading, Berkshire, UK" ?  Sure I post a very modest weblink that gives a better profile of me, shame that more people don't.

I do understand people's reluctance to post true pictures, and feel a painting or anime kind of thing is better than a blank as it at least expresses something. 

Guess I'm lucky as there was never a time in my adult 25 years when I didn't have an attractive picture of me as a girl / woman. But hey, photos decieve .... we click "delete" on the embarrassing ones.  I post one that I think is flattering but representative, not the prettiest, as if anyone meets me in person I wouldn't want them to get a shock  :o , and I've posted many more pics in these forums anyway.  Even Berliegh's pic (bleached out by overexposure) is designed to flatter  ;) !

But the issue of "Trolls" coming on site and building false identities for voyeuristic reasons does worry me, especially as membership here is uncontrolled.  Sure few can sustain the deception but they can be dangerous before being exposed. 

It worries me too that "guests" viewing forums way outnumber contributing members .... and hence reason for people to doubly protect identity.  Being in the UK I feel shielded in a kind of way.

Long post but it kinda sums up my feelings  :) .

Laura x

Quote from: louise000 on June 30, 2007, 03:12:01 AM
In the HRT forum the subject of using false pictures and avatars has been brought up, so I'm starting a new thread here about honesty.
Is it honest to post a picture of someone else and pretend it's you? I have learned to my cost that honesty is essential in our situation - for years I lied by default to my wife by not telling her about my ->-bleeped-<-.  So I will not post a picture of myself until I look reasonably passable and will certainly not try to pass off someone elses image as me.
What do you others think about this?
Louise

If it bothers you, you can post a disclosure that it's not you, most of the time it is pretty obvious. It is very common for people to post pictures of others claiming it's them. I suspect at least one or two members here do that. It is pretty easy to spot impostors as they are vague about their experiences.

At some point, I am going to go stealth and not post a real picture of me.

I can usually get a pretty good idea of the person from their posts whether they use real picture or not. Some people's animes are very expressive, and give a good idea of who they are. I used real pics of myself for the first few months when I joined Susan's, at some point people were discussing privacy issues which got me thinking of the few potential crazies out there, and I switched to my current avatar. I'll probably use a real pic again.

zythyra

Quote from: Nero on June 30, 2007, 03:36:26 AM
I don't post my pic because of privacy issues. Someone would have to be very daft to think I'm the late Jackie Gleason. I do believe it's deceitful for someone to try to pass off another pic as their own. However, I don't believe that those who simply post a pic of a celebrity or such are trying to deceive unless it's clear they're pretending it's their own pic. I think many are just not yet comfortable enough with their appearance or passability to post their own pic. By choosing a pic of a person who is unambiguously male or female, they are expressing their gender as much as they can.   

lmao :laugh:  you aint ur foto bro?  damn! lol :laugh:   thoughtt u were that dude on ur avitar.  hehehhehe ;)
I know some of u ar real 'cos I know u personal.  hehhehe :laugh: ;) u know who u ar.  >:D  beatiful inside & out.

Quote from: Laura Eva B on June 30, 2007, 08:06:36 AM
Its a tricky issue.

Even Berliegh's pic (bleached out by overexposure) is designed to flatter  ;) !

But the issue of "Trolls" coming on site and building false identities for voyeuristic reasons does worry me, especially as membership here is uncontrolled.  Sure few can sustain the deception but they can be dangerous before being exposed. 

It worries me too that "guests" viewing forums way outnumber contributing members .... and hence reason for people to doubly protect identity.  Being in the UK I feel shielded in a kind of way.

Long post but it kinda sums up my feelings  :) .

Laura x

Yea it does look bleached out but it wasn't deliberate and I took it myself holding the camera in front of me by the window. But because of your comment I have put another pic of me in my aviator. That did make me laugh designed to flatter...lol. 

Just IMHO - I hate talking to "cartoon characters" ... work, video conferencing, webcams, you tube, makes you appreciate that there is so much positive to be gained from communication when you have a "mental image" of the guy on the other side (guy in the unisex way !) ... even our work intranet telephone directory has avatars too ...

I need to know "reality" to be comfortable ... the more I know of someone and think I trust them as genuine, the more "open" I'm likely to be about my feelings.

Laura x

Quote from: Keira on June 30, 2007, 06:09:36 AM

Sometimes, its the opposite, I feel that my picture rubs it in, because I was very lucky
and got nice looks.

So many strugle with various transition issues, including me (but not too much about how I look) and how can people really believe me when I say I still feel insecure about how I look, about life in general, I feel like someone will discover me to be a "fraud" and not authentic.

Some TS ask: how can someone looking like you have any problems? They look at my plight in disbelief, like I'm a crybaby for even having any problems because I look good!!! It deeply offends me considering how messed up I still feel I am inside. A women is not just skin,clothes and makeup, I'm much more than that. I need to be a rounded women, one that is a multi-hued and rich in promise as the fresh morning sun's shimmering light as it kisses the oceans's might.

It a really nice pic of you Keira and in no way does it rub it in. I would be quite pleased with a look like yours. I suppose if we all met up in a pub we woiuld find things wrong with all of us if we looked hard enough.

Quote from: Berliegh on June 30, 2007, 11:00:48 AM
Yea it does look bleached out but it wasn't deliberate and I took it myself holding the camera in front of me by the window. But because of your comment I have put another pic of me in my aviator. That did make me laugh designed to flatter...lol. 

Berleigh, you look really good in that pic :) ! (the real you) but not quite the 101% pretty female that the previous pic suggested ... camera angles and lighting do play tricks ...

Me in real life :

http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Cousins_02.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Cousins_02.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Xmas_Dance_02.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Xmas_Dance_02.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Durham_01.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Durham_01.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Malabar_Junct_01.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Malabar_Junct_01.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Duna_Corso.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Duna_Corso.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Morning_Laura.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Morning_Laura.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Out_of_bed.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Out_of_bed.jpg)
http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Passport.jpg (http://uk.geocities.com/laura_eva_b/Passport.jpg)

(apologies if my limited web downwidth blocks download)

Yep ... that's me, warts 'an all !

As women we look different "month in month out", guys just remain resolutely the same (how sad and boring !).

Honesty you ask   ::) !

Laura x

Well, FWIW, I don't mind it when I see people who put an avatar pic up that they find inspirational.  That is, so long as they do not pretend it is them.  But I detest it when people put up an avatar and mislead others.    I know of a dear friend who was badly hurt this way by someone.  I know some people need to have fantasies, but don't do it at the expense of breaking someone's heart.  My avatars have changed with me, as many have seen.  It's my way of staying honest with the others here and with myself.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh276%2FDianneOnly%2Fkissgirl.gif&hash=35f4222bbcd6ce1f143d13ffe9d9553961a2ddd2)Kristi

Thats why I have that little avatar of Satsuke hugging the Cat bus.  Its from a movie I love so it says something about me. 

This is my CAT!










<-----------------------NOT BUFFY

I have finished electroysis and not that  hairy.

Buffy

What's the hang up about photos ?
If you're in deep stealth then -

a) nobody will be looking for you here.
b) why are you here at all ?

If not stealth, what's the big deal, among however many 100 million Americans how does a photo without a real name or address give you away, or in any way affect your privacy (unless you think there are people out there searching for clues - but why ?) ?

& P.S. Tink, I still dont know whether your 50, even pushing 60, 40 - 45 (my guess) or the 20 - 30 something in the only avatar photo I've seen .... can't trawl thru 5000 posts to find out (!) .... do you really not want us to know  :(  ?

Laura x

Quote from: Laura Eva B on June 30, 2007, 12:06:11 PM
[
Me in real life :

(FILE PATHS DELETED)
Yep ... that's me, warts 'an all !

As women we look different "month in month out", guys just remain resolutely the same (how sad and boring !).

Honesty you ask   ::) !

Laura x

Laura, Thank you so much for putting your lovely pictures up and showing us that you are the real thing in your thumbnail picture!  I was particularly pleased to see them because although I am probably a good deal older than you I'm not unlike you in general appearance (and I too wear glasses) so.........you've given me real hope that "if she can do it so can I".  I hope you won't think I'm being too presumptious in saying this.
To get back to the subject of this thread, and to say that I'm trying to be "honest" in admitting that I'm too ashamed of my appearance at the moment to post a picture, but if and when I can get myself looking half as good as you I promise I will post my picture for all to see!
Louise

When I first found and joined this forum a few weeks ago it took me quite a while before putting up a pic of myself as I like to guard my privacy as much as possible on the net, and just as I wouldn't open my front door to just anyone, I'm generally very selective about the personal information I make available to others while I'm surfing.

However then I decided that given so many people here post real photos of themselves I'd do the same; it seemed a fairly natural thing to do.

But, now having realised just how obsessed some people seem to be with these 2D images, I've decided I'm using a cartoons from now on.

For me a forum should be about chatting, discussing, sharing, supporting, but not scrutinising people's photos as if we were taking part in some kind of virtual beauty contest.

MVER XXX

Quote from: mavieenrose on June 30, 2007, 05:36:15 PM
But, now having realised just how obsessed some people seem to be with these 2D images, I've decided I'm using a cartoons from now on.

For me a forum should be about chatting, discussing, sharing, supporting, but not scrutinising people's photos as if we were taking part in some kind of virtual beauty contest.

MVER XXX 

Come on ma vie, you transitioned young, but surely living in a culture that idolises feminine beauty, and where women do take so much more care over appearance (compared to UK or US), you must understand the parallells between looking good and self esteem ....

Trans women are naturally doubly sensitive to appearance .... could I go into a business meeting thinking I didn't look impeccable .... sadly looks mean a lot to women and their self confidence .... TS women doubly so as they have minimal self confidence to begin with.

I really think showing our pictures helps both newcomers and the "voyeurs" who visit, as it shows us as "regular women", nothing strange, nothing kinky !

No different from Lyn Conway's "TS Successes" pages ?

Laura x

My avvy is something I threw together one day and decided to use it. My real picture will not be posted anywhere here due to privacy concerns and due to concerns centering around if certain others decided to make just not my life miserable but others as well. It is a real possibility and no, I will not go into the details. I have had an interesting life and there is always a price that one pays for what one has experienced. My price is not being able to trust others, the possibility that the past may bite me and others in the butt, and dealing with PTSD.

If someone is not comfortable posting their pic, that is fine and no one should ever make them feel bad for not posting a pic. If someone misrepresents their image via a pic, they will eventually get called on it should they be not too terribly smart enough to use a pic of someone not well known at all. If someone has a problem with the image I have selected then that is their hang up and not mine. There are more important things in life to be concerned about.

Should one feel that another is misrepresenting themselves, then send a note to the staff here and we will look into it. Yes, every so often there are those who come here and misrepresent themselves for a multitude of reasons. It's up to the community to sniff them out and the staff to provide the appropriate level of action.

I come here to read posts not to see who is beautiful and who is horrid.  That's me in the avatar.  If some peeps can't believe that, it's their problem not mine.

Strangle.


I've wanted to use Ivy since I came to the site, but since I had to rebuild my computer I'm too lazy to acquire a photo editor that can add transparency. I said screw it a few days ago  :laugh:

I've posted enough here that for who it would matter (two or three people) would probably recognize me, but I doubt they'll ever stumble in here. I don't want to post my face because, while yes, millions of people see you in a given year, but on the internet people can specifically seek you out.

OK, I started this thread in order to bring over an "off-topic" discussion from another forum and it has created a lively debate.
However, I think there have to be exceptions to every rule and in my case I am quite happy to cheat to make myself look good - most women do it all the time! A few extra inches here, a few less there, make all the difference to how confident I feel!
And although I wouldn't want to do it myself, if someone retouches their photo a little I don't think that's really dishonest - just vanity of the highest order! Nothing wrong with that!!!
Louise

Quote from: Tink on June 30, 2007, 01:21:55 PM
Well, as I said on a different thread.  Some of us wouldn't share anything about our personal lives on a public forum.  That's just how it is.  As far as photographs, I had one of my "current pictures" on my avatar until prior to my SRS.  Since then, I have decided to remove it due to privacy issues.  I think I have the right to do that, correct?

Nowadays, I only have an old version of myself from my younger years. Besides, some of you know me personally, so you know that I am "real".  Additionally, if someone really wanted to find out how I look like now, they could easily do so by searching this site, for I am sure that there are still photographs of myself floating around here somewhere... LOL  ;D ;)

tink :icon_chick:

I know ur real babe & I'm dancin' :laugh: :icon_dance: I <3 U :)

Posted on: July 01, 2007, 02:37:44 AM

---

Quote from: Jeannette on June 30, 2007, 11:46:06 PM
I come here to read posts not to see who is beautiful and who is horrid.  That's me in the avatar.  If some peeps can't believe that, it's their problem not mine.

damn your a hottie jeanette ;)

Quotedamn your a hottie jeanette

UR sooooo dead!    ???

I would never think to tell anyone else what to do, but I would never post a real pic on any public forum. I might trade pix with someone that I know, but it is a scary world out there on the net. I have seen way too many adulterated pics photoshopped into horrible characterizations of real people on many websites. There are trolls out there that look to steal pics and then do nasties to them, and then post them all over the damn place. I know that this site has security and all that, but you'd be surprised what a master troll can get away with, or talk their way into. It's too scary for me. I've never in 15 years posted a real pic anywhere on-line for that reason.

But, using my head, or anyone else's head, what's the difference, its a female head, they can put it one the body of a camel or elle macpherson, who cares really? 99.5% of photoshopped photos are obvious anyway to the observant eyes; its not that easy to do it right. Even if they'd try to blackmail me I'd laugh in their face, I don't care

Lol :laugh: quite an amusing topic.  I've got to run to my nan's flat and get her old pic so that people can believe it's me looking weary & bent out of shape.  Lol.  Do I care if people believe me?  not really.  That's just a terrible pity.  I've got more important things to worry about.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fn125%2FBelladonna_06%2F955c7215.jpg&hash=cde93c3d4515e4c779cc8d0b9d710dbee6041c27)
see i stole that off a random natal female, she doesnt know shes missing....

I think the OP is missing the point that there are some stunningly beautiful trans women around, tink, debs, mawd, etc.
Just because someones photo looks good, doesnt mean thier faking thier photo...

Quote from: Rachael on July 01, 2007, 06:43:30 AM
'see i stole that off a random natal female, she doesnt know shes missing'....



I think the OP is missing the point that there are some stunningly beautiful trans women around, tink, debs, mawd, etc.
Just because someones photo looks good, doesnt mean thier faking thier photo...

I agree, but I thought everyone was real and stunning till some of them confessed it wasn't them in their aviator.  Obviously people can do as they like and post what pics they like and I think it's a good point you raise about people stealing photographs.

I'm happy to post my own pics in my aviator even though I don't look that attractive in comparison. I know the majority of the stunners are the real deal and I am very impressed at how they look. The stereo type TS we see in the media, magazines and newspapers is slowlly being eradicated.

the steriotype really isnt, but there are new ideas, like ugly bettys 'alexis Meade' and other such characters, showing transwomen can be beautiful, female behaving, and not colossal perverts.

Quote from: Yvonne on July 01, 2007, 06:36:13 AM
Lol :laugh: quite an amusing topic.  I've got to run to my nan's flat and get her old pic so that people can believe it's me looking weary & bent out of shape.  Lol.  Do I care if people believe me?  not really.  That's just a terrible pity.  I've got more important things to worry about.

You say you don't care then proceed saying that it's a pity so you do care after all.

This is a thread about honesty. Why do you find this thread amusing? Do you find people wanting others to be honest amusing?

Anyway, assuming that is your real photo, you can only hope that you look as good as I do when you are 59, most women, even ex-models, don't, eat your heart out! LOL

Quote from: Rachael on July 01, 2007, 06:43:30 AM
I think the OP is missing the point that there are some stunningly beautiful trans women around, tink, debs, mawd, etc.
Just because someones photo looks good, doesnt mean thier faking thier photo...

Exactly. Guess it just blows some people's minds that a transwoman could be as beautiful as the most attractive genetic females.  They can't believe their eyes. It has to be a model.  ::)

I have been participating in TS forum for years. There have been a lot of impostors outed over that time. It is not that the avatar is unbelievable, it is what the impostor says that gives him or her away. Unfortunately, on the internet, one can claim to be all sorts of things that he or she is not.

Posting an 80x80 avatar, even if it is stunning, doesn't say much about you or even say much about one's sexual magnetism. I found in AA that some of the most conflicted and troubled women are drop dead gorgeous. Beauty is only skin deep.

Seriously, I'm starting to think that in US culture, with women in particular, if you don't blend with the mass by exercising, gainiing weight and wearing the most formless, non matching clothes possible, which exudes asexuality... You're doing something wrong!!!!! In Europe, I never really seen or felt this. In Quebec, it does happen from time to time, with women from tougher socio-economic background, but not in general.

They showed through filming, that women within minutes of joining a group talking disparagingly about their body, about themselves in general, especially how fat they were, did the same no matter how they looked or how successfull they were. Like it was a badge of honor to look like crap or pounding yourself to shred. Talk about negative peer pressure. This fosters a woe me victim of fate mentality.

I find this very annoying. If someone in spite of zillions of warning, has mucho sun damage by the age of 35 so they look like 60, its not me fault. If they eat to too much, exercise less than they should and weight 250 pounds, why should I care. Plenty of women who complain about standards of weight "imposed by the media" are OVERWEIGHT by any medical standards, not media standards. They should shape up.

They're talking about pressures from the media for women to be thin, well the pressure from the media had any impact, women in the US would be thinner, so I guess the media are having a piss poor impact.

You can't imagine how catty SOME women can be. It boggles the mind. Its not because I look good by an accident of god after having living under a rock of my own making, that I should take crap (some DO believe that)! I'm not going to knife my face open to satisfy anybody.

As for beauty being skin deep, yeah, and... Others are so good inside that I cannot possibly emulate them! People are people and there is ugliness at all levels and all shapes and forms. I've been at the receiving end of mucho ugliness over the years so its first hand knowledge.

Yeah, I'm pissed off. Hey, I've dealt with enough crap, 95% of which I've not even broached here, because I don't like sounding like a sad sack, to enjoy whatever advantage I can get in life from now on.

Hey, feel better now. Phew...

Honesty is being who you are and not playing games with others and yourself. To me, if you don't want to put your picture up there, thats fine, but don't put someone elses picture up there. I don't believe in stealth, there is no such thing. We all have paper trails and there is no way to get around them. We can fool some people but not all. I don't go around telling, but I also don't deny who I am. This is my picture, last Christmas. Now, I'm not a good photographer, in fact I just got my digital this last Christmas. I don't take very many pictures, especially of myself. Just be who you are and don't worry about others. The more people who come out and say they are trans, I would guess the easier the new ones will have it, that means the kids who are in school or not born yet. Transexualism just happens, there is no cure, but we are people who have rights. I'm not afraid of the dark cause it will be daylight soon.
Sheila

I only share my photo because Im from a foreign country.  The majority of people I know wouldnt come to an American, transsexual website to look for me.  I take harrasssment and stalking very seriously and the internet isnt a safe haven for anyone.  Most of the crimes seen today are internet-related.  People who fabricate a cyber persona to attract the young and naive.  I dont judge people for not using their photos.  Its not of my concern.

The only way someone can tell for sure if a person is genuine is if someone else can voucher for them and knows the other on a personal level.  Photos are photos, how can I be sure if the least attractive photos I see here are of the person who writes the posts?. You can be using a photo of an older woman to deceive us even more, just so that you can look believable.  We are all on the same situation. Just because I say that my photo is mine doesnt make it so and people dont have to believe what I say.  Lets be respectful and learn to accept other peoples choice because we are all on the same boat.

For an OPEN transsexual forum, not posting a pic as an avatar makes sense for some.  While I did post my pic, I switched back to Kiki (its my favorite animated movie). 

I have no complaints with those who do not post their own picture as their avatar.  America is still a dangerous place for transsexuals, and not everybody has the luxury to live and work in a tolerant city with workplace protections. 

I will be posting pics after I hit a point with HRT where I will be comfortable with doing so (maybe a few months from now).

PS.
Keira, the women in DC are very femme in general.  Compared to Chicago which was not really the case.  In the US there is quite a bit of variation city to city. 

One was saying how women rarely wear skirts, so TS should avoid it.  Which I find funny, in DC it seems like women wear nothing but skirts and dresses.

Everything is culturally dependent on the City you live in. 

Keira there is really multiple America's.  The country is so disjointed culturally.  Generalizing it is a very bad idea.  Most American's do not get this until they lived in multiple places and are exposed to multiple cultures.  Especially with regards to women.  What you can get away with in once place you will be tagged instantly as an outsider somewhere else.

With that being said.  There is a media problem in the US with women.  I am friends with one of the feminist theorists on this subject.  I could go into the details but the American media has turned its back on more positive images of women both in terms of body and intellect.  One of the main problems has been a move away from realistic athletic women in exchange for women who clearly have issues with eating disorders. 

I could go on but there is alot of conflicting messages in American mainstream culture, you do not realize how deep they are until you become conscious of them.  It is a big reason why I really dislike mainstream culture, the underlying hypocrisies.   How much one takes upon these hypocrisies is very dependent on how impressionable one is.  Like everybody some women are more impressionable then others.  I just happen to be friends with quite a few third wave feminists, so I tend to be a bit more critical. 

Amy, my views of the US are not just statistical (though the stats themselves are not something to write home about), I've got first hand experience too. Also, Canadians usually know a lot more about the US than the opposite, especially those that are interested in politics.

I've lived 4 years in the US and visited for 1 day or more, at least 50 of the major cities (probably more) and many many smaller cities/villages. The city I've seen the most outside the San-Francisco region I lived in the last 20 years are: New-York (6 weeks), Boston (3 weeks), LA and region (6 weeks), Miami (3 weeks), Chicago (2 weeks), DC and region (2 weeks), New-Orleans (1 week). All other cities I've visited less than a week. I've done 4 cross country / round the country, road trips of the US. So, I've got a kind of love/hate relationship with the US  ;)

I've also seen plenty of suburbia, too much even. My job was near silicon valley (Freemont) as suburban as it gets, while I lived in SFO. I had to commute 1.5 hours morning and night (3 hours!!).

While some cities are different, outside the city cores on the north-east, Chicago and the city core of San-Francisco, the US urban and cultural landscape has a certain universal base character ripe with republicanism.

Quote from: Pia on July 02, 2007, 12:20:23 AM
The only way someone can tell for sure if a person is genuine is if someone else can voucher for them and knows the other on a personal level.

i concord.

Quote from: Pia on July 02, 2007, 12:20:23 AM

You can be using a photo of an older woman to deceive us even more, just so that you can look believable. 

good point.  it's commonly known as reverse psychology. btw, for those of you who don't know the meaning of reverse psychology...it's the term that describes the outcome where advocacy of one course of action persuades someone to do the opposite.  it's also quite doubtful when someone shows way too many photographs of "themselves" or "their family" on the internet.  you usually wonder "why?"  or "who is this person trying to convince?"  as for myself i don't intend to share any photos with you anymore whether you like it or not.  i did in the past.  had several of them in the gallery as a matter of fact  but not anymore.  so there...

deciving  with a picture of an older woman? more beliveable?
hang on, im 20 , i look 18, who the eff am i deciving? why would you WANT people to be?

I don't really see why ya'all care, I've always kinda thought it was a rather in your face competitive thing to show who's the "senior ->-bleeped-<-" admittedly when I want to "pull rank" I do and wow you all with my looks though I just don't feel the need to show a pic all the freaking time and from experience on other forums people flame the crap out of me whenever i talk like I know anything about TS stuff as people say i couldn't pass for male with a full beard so what do I know?

All in all I just see no reason to.


(btw, rachael's seen me IRL so she knows I'm me)

yeah, ive met maud, she really is 6'7 and 300lbs *nodnod*

Quote from: Rachael on July 03, 2007, 04:01:43 AM
yeah, ive met maud, she really is 6'7 and 300lbs *nodnod*

lmao :laugh:  same as tink >:D

This subject is going around in circles. My main critism was that some people were posting picture's of minior actresses or models in their aviators which could be misleading to other forum members. There is nothing wrong with keeping things private and not posting an aviator picture but my main concern was the amount of people who were misleading us into thinking it was a picture of themselves, when it clearly was not. They would later admit is wasn't them at all.

Why not either put your real pic in your aviator, or a symbol or leave it blank, then everyone will know where they stand and no one will be mislead.

blame the forums then... in the avitar selection panel theres model photos...

Is it just me, or am I the only one that can differentiate between an actual photo and an image of a model or actress? There may be one or two avatars where it's not clear either way, but most are obvious to me.

Quote from: Nero on July 03, 2007, 04:58:25 AM
Is it just me, or am I the only one that can differentiate between an actual photo and an image of a model or actress? There may be one or two avatars where it's not clear either way, but most are obvious to me.

yep ur right.  to much skin showin off = model   no clothes showin off = porn star

nice foto inocent sweet = real deal

:icon_dance:  :laugh:

So, if I get it right, if you post any picture at all, or too many, you are suspect!!
Those will no avatar on all angels who spare us their beauty...

Hey, maybe I'll just post a picture of me with a current cosmo, newsweek and a cover let to the discretion of the susan crowd... I'd think that would be hard to fake.... ;)

I wish someone would accuse me of stealing my avatar from a modeling website :P HAHA

While I do have a photo of myself up now as my avatar, and a few in the gallery, I am still torn as to how I feel about having my photo on the internet.  I suppose eventually I will take it down.  The biggest issue for me has been putting my state after my nickname.  I suppose I just love to post pictures!  I really wasn't thinking  :laugh:

Charlotte

Quote from: Hidrix on July 03, 2007, 05:14:52 AM
yep ur right.  to much skin showin off = model   no clothes showin off = porn star

nice foto inocent sweet = real deal

Oooooh, so THAT'S why my previous "Muse" avatar was taken as real on occasion I bet.

So if I want to avoid confusion with a "fake" avatar, I have to use something provacative?

But... I can't do that to my muse! She IS sweet and innocent :)

~Kate~

Quote from: Hidrix on July 03, 2007, 05:14:52 AM

Quote from: Nero on July 03, 2007, 04:58:25 AM
Is it just me, or am I the only one that can differentiate between an actual photo and an image of a model or actress? There may be one or two avatars where it's not clear either way, but most are obvious to me.

yep ur right.  to much skin showin off = model   no clothes showin off = porn star

nice foto inocent sweet = real deal

:icon_dance:  :laugh:

ok, so ive im showing any skin in my photograph, its a fake, gotcha, so a pretty m2f female cant wear revealing clothes then?  ::)

Kate, you can confuse more people by using a "provocative" photo of yourself.
Maybe a catsuit, or hair extensions judiciously placed to hide... stuff  ;)

hows that hideing anything? isnt that makeing the best of ones image?
i fail to see how extensions, or clothes change who someone is, or fools someone that thier someone else...

this topic is retarded now... its simply a b*tch fest for those disatisfied with how some others look, and i find it daft frankly. Grow up you lot.

Racheal, it was a joke... jeezz, irony, sarcarm, never heard of that!
Better laugh at the whole thing than take it seriously if you ask me.

what is this sarcasm you speak of? ive never come accross such a thing...  ::)

Quote from: Hidrix on July 03, 2007, 04:04:13 AM

Quote from: Rachael on July 03, 2007, 04:01:43 AM
yeah, ive met maud, she really is 6'7 and 300lbs *nodnod*

lmao :laugh:  same as tink >:D

I forgot to send you my recent photograph.  I'm actually 6'11'' and 570 lbs  >:D ;)

tink :icon_chick:

P.S.  I think everyone has said what they wanted to say pertaining to this topic.  I feel that the thread is becoming redundant now...

/me smells the lock fairy

Although it is nice for people to vent thier jelousys and vanity once in a while,
oh wait....

Quote from: Rachael on July 03, 2007, 08:03:33 PM
/me smells the lock fairy

Not yet, but it's getting there!  ;)

Quote from: Rachael on July 03, 2007, 08:03:33 PM

Although it is nice for people to vent thier jelousys and vanity once in a while,
oh wait....

Quite true.  There's a limit though.  BTW that photograph of that GG you stole  ;) is a wonderful example of why some would feel envious.  You go girl!  Looking fab!

tink :icon_chick:

I often use an avitar, and for good reason.  There was a time, several years ago where I was stalked on the web by a fanatic, misguided individual. Anyway, it was a terrible experience where this person slowly gathered information on me, trying to zero in on my location.  Since then, I guess I've turned into a sissy lol....
Sooo....pardon me very much if I choose not to share way too much info, including pics.  I put my real pic up once in a while, but really, have always liked using different avitars.  Kind of like rearranging my furniture once in a while.  Those who know me here, know me as a personality more than a picture, anyway. 

Bev   :icon_suspicious:

Quote from: Bev on July 03, 2007, 08:31:59 PM
I often use an avitar, and for good reason.  There was a time, several years ago where I was stalked on the web by a fanatic, misguided individual. Anyway, it was a terrible experience where this person slowly gathered information on me, trying to zero in on my location.  Since then, I guess I've turned into a sissy lol....
Sooo....pardon me very much if I choose not to share way too much info, including pics.  I put my real pic up once in a while, but really, have always liked using different avitars.  Kind of like rearranging my furniture once in a while.  Those who know me here, know me as a personality more than a picture, anyway. 

Bev   :icon_suspicious:

No need to apologize, Bev.  Sharing photographs or events of our personal lives is a choice, your choice.  It isn't a requirement to be a member here.  Like Susan says, "don't sweat the small stuff, most stuff is small" ;)

:icon_hug:

tink :icon_chick:

i dont mind folk looking, as long as they dont touch ;)
Bev, i understand totally
and Cheers tink, it means a lot, specially from someone like you.

Quote from: Tink on July 03, 2007, 07:28:40 PM
I forgot to send you my recent photograph.  I'm actually 6'11'' and 570 lbs  >:D ;)
tink :icon_chick:

And you should have seen her before her diet!  (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww2.hawaii.edu%2F%7Eroberto%2Fdesmobob_smilie_fatty.gif&hash=0620850962d962ef53ca25af53b785ac811624f5)


OK, everybody, limber up the vocal cords and let's all sing.  Together now:

Billy Joel-Honesty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgmJ1miBzek

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi66.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh276%2FDianneOnly%2Fkissgirl.gif&hash=35f4222bbcd6ce1f143d13ffe9d9553961a2ddd2)

OK, so my current picture is all me, bad hair and everything  ::).

A while ago I got sick of seeing my awful-looking hair staring back at me every time I posted here, and was using a picture of Shirley Manson (singer from the band Garbage) as my avatar. Mainly because I didnt have access to a camera to take a better picture of myself, I think she looks pretty, and I really like her music. So I went with it.

And the thing is, people did start to assume that she was me, simply because I had her as my avatar. Never did I even try and allude to the idea that it was me, or I looked anything like her - people just assumed anyway. I figuired she was famous enough that people would just realise - and they didn't. Does this mean that I was being dishonest simply because others were assuming a picture on my profile wasn't a picture of me, even though I thought it would be obvious to most that it wasn't and I made no attempt to represent her picture as being myself? I don't think so. Assumptions by others dont equal lies on my part.

I've been meaning to borrow a camera off one of my friends to get a better picture of myself for the forum - decent hair, make-up, looking like the attractive and confidant woman that I sure as hell know myself to be. I'm back to my old picture for the moment until I can - what it comes down to is I really don't mind people seeing what I look like, I'd probably post a lot more pictures if I had the means to actually take them. I'm proud of the way I look and I really don't care who sees me, bad hair or not  ;).

If I did look like Shirley Manson I can't say I would be complaining though  ;D.

Megan

Come on Megan, bad hair? You look fine, and as always confident. That's always what I see in your picture. You exude confidence than transcends the god of had hair.

QuoteIs it just me, or am I the only one that can differentiate between an actual photo and an image of a model or actress? There may be one or two avatars where it's not clear either way, but most are obvious to me.

Yeah, well, Jackie Gleason would say that. Figures.

QuoteAlthough it is nice for people to vent thier jelousys and vanity once in a while,
oh wait....

I'm a stud! I'm a stud! I'm a hot, manly stud! There, it's off my chest. (Literally. See my surgery post.)

What kind of horse are you Andrew?   :D

Oh this is awful! Whatever happened to the saying "dont judge a book by its cover!"

Quote from: Keira on July 03, 2007, 10:51:39 PM

Come on Megan, bad hair? You look fine, and as always confident. That's always what I see in your picture. You exude confidence than transcends the god of had hair.

Thanks Keira. OK, I know it isn't that bad :).

It's just that I didn't really know what I was doing with it when I had that pic taken - now that I do, I tend to look at it and think, "OMG! You went out in public with your hair looking like THAT?". Just being silly, I know.

Megan

Quote from: Pia on July 02, 2007, 12:20:23 AM
I only share my photo because Im from a foreign country.  The majority of people I know wouldnt come to an American, transsexual website to look for me. 

So do I.  Whilst I understand the point of the other members, posting a pic is a personal decision.  Its me in the avatar, before a family gathering.  I dont usually look like that though.  Im naturally made up, after three or four hours at the beauty parlor for my hair and wearing a marvelous attire.  Daily, I look like crap.  My hair is a mess.  dont wear too much makeup.  I usually post my best pics and I would think thats the case with mostly everyone here.   The other photos I have on my PC are ones of me how I normally look...if you saw those I would have to kill you! ~laugh~

Quote from: Tink on July 03, 2007, 07:28:40 PM
[P.S.  I think everyone has said what they wanted to say pertaining to this topic.  I feel that the thread is becoming redundant now...

And as the originator of the thread I'm now pulling the plug. Thanks to all.
Louise

I really don't care which avatar people use.  It is their choice.  That choice is a reflection of their personality in some form.

I will sometimes use avatars of famous people.  I put their name in the space below the picture.

I'm currently using a picture of myself that was taken one week after my GRS in 1988.

I do not post a current picture of myself.  I am fairly well known worldwide in some circles and going public would not only ruin my career but that of my husband as well. And the book I wrote, you ask? I figure that by the time someone matches my pen name up with my real name, I'll be retired (at an early age of course ... only three years to go. ;)).

Why do I come here if that is the case?  To chat with all you lovely people of course!

Cindi