Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 02:45:57 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 02:45:57 AM
Post by: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 02:45:57 AM
I thought I would post this as a happy cheery events of recent times.
We don't have easy lives, no matter how we appear we have all suffered. Sometimes we have suffered too much and need to curl up and weep. Society and even those who love us do not and cannot understand what we are, and what horror we go though.
Just over a week ago my appointment for a senior position was blocked, it is a position I already held and the contract was up for extension. I was surprised to say the least.
I met with my two (male) bosses and asked what was going on. Rather sheepishly they said they thought that In had a very high placed enemy who had problems with my gender. I felt sick. I also got angry and told them that I would bring the full force of the law here onto the matter. Not just for me, but for men and woman who do not have my standing and power.
But I still felt sick.
I was leaving and met the CEO in the corridor, he knows me and stopped and asked how I was, I told him I was upset with the organisation and wouldn't mind a talk. We went straight for a coffee, I told him my suspicions and that I had no proof of what had happened and that comments about me had only been made in private. I also told him that I was willing to be pilloried and to bring in the newspapers and to create Hell for the organisation. I had no problems being out in public.
He was visibly angry, a few hours later an investigation had been launched into why my appointment had been blocked and a new contract was emailed to me. These things usually take weeks, this took a few hours.
I felt happy.
At the same time I found out that I could go for surgery, the financial issues had been solved, I won't go into details but Angels walk this earth.
The only block (besides the medical etc) was the opinion of my wife. She is permanently and totally disabled. I am her only support and I love her deeply.
I told her today that I could go for surgery but would not if she did not wish it. It was her decision as her life and happiness is totally tied into me. I would not hesitate not to go for surgery if she said no. No argument.
She asked when, how etc. She thought about it with no pressure from me.
She then said to me "Well it looks as if the toilet seat will always be kept down, and you had better buy me a nice present from Canada." She then asked me to kiss her.
There is hope for us. People do care. Never ever give in.
Hugs
Cindy
We don't have easy lives, no matter how we appear we have all suffered. Sometimes we have suffered too much and need to curl up and weep. Society and even those who love us do not and cannot understand what we are, and what horror we go though.
Just over a week ago my appointment for a senior position was blocked, it is a position I already held and the contract was up for extension. I was surprised to say the least.
I met with my two (male) bosses and asked what was going on. Rather sheepishly they said they thought that In had a very high placed enemy who had problems with my gender. I felt sick. I also got angry and told them that I would bring the full force of the law here onto the matter. Not just for me, but for men and woman who do not have my standing and power.
But I still felt sick.
I was leaving and met the CEO in the corridor, he knows me and stopped and asked how I was, I told him I was upset with the organisation and wouldn't mind a talk. We went straight for a coffee, I told him my suspicions and that I had no proof of what had happened and that comments about me had only been made in private. I also told him that I was willing to be pilloried and to bring in the newspapers and to create Hell for the organisation. I had no problems being out in public.
He was visibly angry, a few hours later an investigation had been launched into why my appointment had been blocked and a new contract was emailed to me. These things usually take weeks, this took a few hours.
I felt happy.
At the same time I found out that I could go for surgery, the financial issues had been solved, I won't go into details but Angels walk this earth.
The only block (besides the medical etc) was the opinion of my wife. She is permanently and totally disabled. I am her only support and I love her deeply.
I told her today that I could go for surgery but would not if she did not wish it. It was her decision as her life and happiness is totally tied into me. I would not hesitate not to go for surgery if she said no. No argument.
She asked when, how etc. She thought about it with no pressure from me.
She then said to me "Well it looks as if the toilet seat will always be kept down, and you had better buy me a nice present from Canada." She then asked me to kiss her.
There is hope for us. People do care. Never ever give in.
Hugs
Cindy
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Kiwi4Eva on November 02, 2013, 02:57:04 AM
Post by: Kiwi4Eva on November 02, 2013, 02:57:04 AM
What a lovely ending to your story Cindy...
I share your sentiments.
May it all go so well for you!
XO
I share your sentiments.
May it all go so well for you!
XO
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: LordKAT on November 02, 2013, 02:59:56 AM
Post by: LordKAT on November 02, 2013, 02:59:56 AM
Wow! I did not think Rebecca would be so accepting. I'm very happy for you. I'm also glad you stood up when it counted and that you have laws with teeth to aid you.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Jenny07 on November 02, 2013, 03:21:58 AM
Post by: Jenny07 on November 02, 2013, 03:21:58 AM
Wonderful outcome from a bad start.
I think I can hear you singing for joy from Sydney! :D
Hugs as you deserve it.
Jen
I think I can hear you singing for joy from Sydney! :D
Hugs as you deserve it.
Jen
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Antonia J on November 02, 2013, 06:44:02 AM
Post by: Antonia J on November 02, 2013, 06:44:02 AM
Aw. That is good all the way around, though the last part brought tears to my eyes :)
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on November 02, 2013, 07:42:52 AM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on November 02, 2013, 07:42:52 AM
"and you had better buy me a nice present from Canada"
Is that some sort of indication you might be coming here to seek out the surgery Cindy?
Just asking, as it would be really cool to meet if that was the case.
Either way, glad to hear you have some people in your life that won't take the sort of crap that one person seemed to be interested in serving up.
Is that some sort of indication you might be coming here to seek out the surgery Cindy?
Just asking, as it would be really cool to meet if that was the case.
Either way, glad to hear you have some people in your life that won't take the sort of crap that one person seemed to be interested in serving up.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 07:51:33 AM
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 07:51:33 AM
Nice, Cindy. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 08:21:59 AM
Post by: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 08:21:59 AM
I'm talking to Brassard's clinic.
I thought about posting the other event. I've decided to do so for several reasons. One is that we can achieve, parts of my past are private but I have been probably as worse off than anyone here. But some how got out of it.
So, what I didn't mention, because it may cause jealousy and I have to be careful of that, is that I also went to a local manufacturing goldsmith. I have decided to have a bracelet commissioned to celebrate my life.
It is a husband and wife team, second generation gold smiths. I like their work, obviously
I gave them an outline of the design and they played with it and changed it and I will see the mock up next week.
His wife asked what the change and celebration was so I told them about being transgender and my coming journey and my past. I was obviously the first TG they had ever met and talked to. They were lovely people.
I set a price range, based on what he said, he asked for a deposit, fair enough! so I gave him one. The white gold estimate was around a lot plus their work.
He drew the the heart shape that I want hanging off it, an incorporation of C comprising half of the heart. The C is quite thick with the rest of the heart thinner. The bracelet is white gold links with each link an individual design. It hangs loosely but not enough to slip off my wrist. In the final fitting it will be sealed so that it will never come off. A permanent record of my life, each link a motif of my life. Removed on my death by severing either it or my hand.
As I left I said that I may need to pay in installments, a few dollars at a time. They conferred and then said I had paid for it with the deposit and my life story.
They said they were honoured to celebrate my journey and it was their gift to women who walk my path.
I do not deserve the love that I receive.
There are Angels
I thought about posting the other event. I've decided to do so for several reasons. One is that we can achieve, parts of my past are private but I have been probably as worse off than anyone here. But some how got out of it.
So, what I didn't mention, because it may cause jealousy and I have to be careful of that, is that I also went to a local manufacturing goldsmith. I have decided to have a bracelet commissioned to celebrate my life.
It is a husband and wife team, second generation gold smiths. I like their work, obviously
I gave them an outline of the design and they played with it and changed it and I will see the mock up next week.
His wife asked what the change and celebration was so I told them about being transgender and my coming journey and my past. I was obviously the first TG they had ever met and talked to. They were lovely people.
I set a price range, based on what he said, he asked for a deposit, fair enough! so I gave him one. The white gold estimate was around a lot plus their work.
He drew the the heart shape that I want hanging off it, an incorporation of C comprising half of the heart. The C is quite thick with the rest of the heart thinner. The bracelet is white gold links with each link an individual design. It hangs loosely but not enough to slip off my wrist. In the final fitting it will be sealed so that it will never come off. A permanent record of my life, each link a motif of my life. Removed on my death by severing either it or my hand.
As I left I said that I may need to pay in installments, a few dollars at a time. They conferred and then said I had paid for it with the deposit and my life story.
They said they were honoured to celebrate my journey and it was their gift to women who walk my path.
I do not deserve the love that I receive.
There are Angels
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Rachel85 on November 02, 2013, 08:37:07 AM
Post by: Rachel85 on November 02, 2013, 08:37:07 AM
Cindy, I am so happy for you :)
You say that you don't deserve what you are currently receiving but I can't think of many more people deserving of love, admiration and kindness than yourself.
The work thing, that sucks. I felt a hole in my stomach reading the first part of your post. It all worked out though for the best and perhaps it could have been that way from the beginning but again, you put yourself out there selflessly and I for one appreciate it.
I am so happy for you and your wife that you will are looking at surgery! Fantastic!
I also love your idea of a bracelet, I cant think of a lovelier way to treat yourself/celebrate your life. I am a strong believer that we are all who we are because of where and what we have come from, however awful, fantastic and everything in between. You'll need to post pics when it's finished! :)
Hugs and love Cindy, take care and talk soon.
You say that you don't deserve what you are currently receiving but I can't think of many more people deserving of love, admiration and kindness than yourself.
The work thing, that sucks. I felt a hole in my stomach reading the first part of your post. It all worked out though for the best and perhaps it could have been that way from the beginning but again, you put yourself out there selflessly and I for one appreciate it.
I am so happy for you and your wife that you will are looking at surgery! Fantastic!
I also love your idea of a bracelet, I cant think of a lovelier way to treat yourself/celebrate your life. I am a strong believer that we are all who we are because of where and what we have come from, however awful, fantastic and everything in between. You'll need to post pics when it's finished! :)
Hugs and love Cindy, take care and talk soon.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Antonia J on November 02, 2013, 08:50:07 AM
Post by: Antonia J on November 02, 2013, 08:50:07 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 08:21:59 AM
I do not deserve the love that I receive.
There are Angels
Cindy - you have rescued me from the darkest depths with your emails, posting, and sharing of life. You deserve all you get and more. Our paths are so different, but yours is inspirational to me and a lot of others and I am glad you encounter angels every now and again. I think they see their sister and are drawn to her, even if she does not recognize her own wings, yet.
Toni
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Skittles on November 02, 2013, 08:53:26 AM
Post by: Skittles on November 02, 2013, 08:53:26 AM
This is the sweetest story to wake up to. Big tears of joy hug. Joann
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Jennygirl on November 02, 2013, 08:56:13 AM
Post by: Jennygirl on November 02, 2013, 08:56:13 AM
Cindy! That is wonderful news! And the part about your bracelet nearly made me cry. I am so so happy for you. Thanks for sharing this with us!
Congratulations on having the go ahead for surgery. How neat if we could both be in Montreal at the same time? :) I'm getting my financial ducks in line and then hoping to land a date in late Feb / early March.
Thanks again for this heartwarming post! I as well hope to meet you someday... That would be a treat!
Congratulations on having the go ahead for surgery. How neat if we could both be in Montreal at the same time? :) I'm getting my financial ducks in line and then hoping to land a date in late Feb / early March.
Thanks again for this heartwarming post! I as well hope to meet you someday... That would be a treat!
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: mrs izzy on November 02, 2013, 09:15:29 AM
Post by: mrs izzy on November 02, 2013, 09:15:29 AM
Cindy,
Glad you got the issue worked out with your job.
Happy you and your wife are doing well in your relationship. That is always something we wish.
I am so looking forward to your visit.
Hugs
Izzy
Glad you got the issue worked out with your job.
Happy you and your wife are doing well in your relationship. That is always something we wish.
I am so looking forward to your visit.
Hugs
Izzy
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Cindy on November 04, 2013, 12:56:02 AM
Post by: Cindy on November 04, 2013, 12:56:02 AM
I won't leave this up, but for my friends.
Pic removed by Cindy
Pic removed by Cindy
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Gina_Z on November 04, 2013, 01:06:08 AM
Post by: Gina_Z on November 04, 2013, 01:06:08 AM
Beautiful and uplifting! Thank you.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: LordKAT on November 04, 2013, 01:08:14 AM
Post by: LordKAT on November 04, 2013, 01:08:14 AM
Thanks for sharing. It is nice to put a face with the name of your wonderful wife. I can see why you couldn't hide yourself away.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Jamie D on November 04, 2013, 01:23:11 AM
Post by: Jamie D on November 04, 2013, 01:23:11 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 04, 2013, 12:56:02 AM
I won't leave this up, but for my friends.
What a lovely portrait. The happy eyes tell the story.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Tessa James on November 04, 2013, 03:37:04 AM
Post by: Tessa James on November 04, 2013, 03:37:04 AM
OMG thank you Cindy! Your ability to be so real and share your journey with us so generously continues to be further inspiration.....and gives me a lump in my throat and tears to head off to bed with.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Constance on November 04, 2013, 11:14:27 AM
Post by: Constance on November 04, 2013, 11:14:27 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 08:21:59 AM
I'm talking to Brassard's clinic.
I thought about posting the other event. I've decided to do so for several reasons. One is that we can achieve, parts of my past are private but I have been probably as worse off than anyone here. But some how got out of it.
So, what I didn't mention, because it may cause jealousy and I have to be careful of that, is that I also went to a local manufacturing goldsmith. I have decided to have a bracelet commissioned to celebrate my life.
It is a husband and wife team, second generation gold smiths. I like their work, obviously
I gave them an outline of the design and they played with it and changed it and I will see the mock up next week.
His wife asked what the change and celebration was so I told them about being transgender and my coming journey and my past. I was obviously the first TG they had ever met and talked to. They were lovely people.
I set a price range, based on what he said, he asked for a deposit, fair enough! so I gave him one. The white gold estimate was around a lot plus their work.
He drew the the heart shape that I want hanging off it, an incorporation of C comprising half of the heart. The C is quite thick with the rest of the heart thinner. The bracelet is white gold links with each link an individual design. It hangs loosely but not enough to slip off my wrist. In the final fitting it will be sealed so that it will never come off. A permanent record of my life, each link a motif of my life. Removed on my death by severing either it or my hand.
As I left I said that I may need to pay in installments, a few dollars at a time. They conferred and then said I had paid for it with the deposit and my life story.
They said they were honoured to celebrate my journey and it was their gift to women who walk my path.
I do not deserve the love that I receive.
There are Angels
You most certainly deserve the love that you have received, and please don't believe anything otherwise.
Yes, there are Angels. And you, Cindy, are One of Them.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: MadelineB on November 04, 2013, 03:28:28 PM
Post by: MadelineB on November 04, 2013, 03:28:28 PM
Hi Cindy,
My phone ate my reply so I will reply again.
So glad that your two colleagues had the integrity to tell you what was going on, and that you had the courage to take it immediately to the top. Your are an inspiration for your fighting spirit (and I applaud your success!).
Thank you for sharing your picture and the touching moment between the two of you. Huge congratulations for you on your plans for affirmation surgery.
Thanks for sharing that beautiful encounter with the jewelers. I think sometimes we forget how remarkable we are, and that so many good people want to be a part of the magic of our new lives.
Just wanted to also say that, in my own experience, when I pass major milestones in my life that make me truly happy, I have learned to expect that my high will be followed with an emotional low, as the parts of me that were so traumatized that they never believed this day would come, break down and finally feel safe enough to let all of their feelings out. If this happens to you, please know that it is a normal part of the healing process - and a sign that you truly are getting better - so much better, enough so that your traumatized soul can come out to be accepted and healed. *hugs*
You deserve all the love you are receiving right now, and more.
-Maddie
My phone ate my reply so I will reply again.
So glad that your two colleagues had the integrity to tell you what was going on, and that you had the courage to take it immediately to the top. Your are an inspiration for your fighting spirit (and I applaud your success!).
Thank you for sharing your picture and the touching moment between the two of you. Huge congratulations for you on your plans for affirmation surgery.
Thanks for sharing that beautiful encounter with the jewelers. I think sometimes we forget how remarkable we are, and that so many good people want to be a part of the magic of our new lives.
Just wanted to also say that, in my own experience, when I pass major milestones in my life that make me truly happy, I have learned to expect that my high will be followed with an emotional low, as the parts of me that were so traumatized that they never believed this day would come, break down and finally feel safe enough to let all of their feelings out. If this happens to you, please know that it is a normal part of the healing process - and a sign that you truly are getting better - so much better, enough so that your traumatized soul can come out to be accepted and healed. *hugs*
You deserve all the love you are receiving right now, and more.
-Maddie
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Robin Mack on November 04, 2013, 03:46:13 PM
Post by: Robin Mack on November 04, 2013, 03:46:13 PM
Quote from: Cindy on November 02, 2013, 08:21:59 AM
They said they were honoured to celebrate my journey and it was their gift to women who walk my path.
I do not deserve the love that I receive.
There are Angels
Yes there are Angels.
May you and your wife continue to be blessed throughout your lives! I am deeply honored to know you. Your courage, love of life, and openness are a blessing to all of us on this forum.
None of us deserve such love, but sometimes we are blessed with it and honored by it and life gets that much richer for all of us when someone we love is touched by it. I'm not even sure if that made sense, I'm having a hard time seeing what I'm typing through the tears of joy for you, Cindy.
Congratulations, and may Angels continue to bless you and yours all the days of your lives!
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Rachel on November 04, 2013, 07:03:22 PM
Post by: Rachel on November 04, 2013, 07:03:22 PM
I have tears of joy for you. The kindness, is heartfelt.
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Gina Taylor on November 05, 2013, 04:58:30 AM
Post by: Gina Taylor on November 05, 2013, 04:58:30 AM
Cindy, that was a wonderful story and it proves that things cna happen if you have the power to do it. Congratulations on the move up and for your surgery! :) Angels were around you that day :angel:
Title: Re: Sometimes we cannot see the good of people until we are bathed in support
Post by: Eva Marie on November 05, 2013, 05:48:28 AM
Post by: Eva Marie on November 05, 2013, 05:48:28 AM
Cindy - the pic of you and your wife is beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
I'm so sorry that you had trouble at work but you showed them that you had a spine and they respected that. The fact that you are also very, very good at your job I think helped a lot too. Some people there know what they have in you and I'm quite sure that they don't want to lose you, or find their company name above the centerfold on page 1 of the paper due to legal action.
The story about the jewelry was touching. Those are very good people.
Angels indeed :angel:
I'm so sorry that you had trouble at work but you showed them that you had a spine and they respected that. The fact that you are also very, very good at your job I think helped a lot too. Some people there know what they have in you and I'm quite sure that they don't want to lose you, or find their company name above the centerfold on page 1 of the paper due to legal action.
The story about the jewelry was touching. Those are very good people.
Angels indeed :angel: