General Discussions => General discussions => ARGHHH! => Topic started by: suzifrommd on November 02, 2013, 11:38:38 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: suzifrommd on November 02, 2013, 11:38:38 AM
Post by: suzifrommd on November 02, 2013, 11:38:38 AM
Background: I'm scheduled to have SRS in 2014. I met a woman last night who just had SRS with the surgeon I'm using. She said that it was a mistake to stay in the convalescent facility without someone with you - that after hours no one was available if you needed something.
I had planned to stay there alone because there's no one I feel comfortable asking to stay with me. My only idea was to ask my 16-year-old daughter whether she could stay with me. I told her I understood that it wouldn't be a fun four days but that there are times when family needs to come through for one another, especially when someone needs taking care of.
She clammed up and refused to talk more about it.
I'm so scared. I can't get this image out of my mind of lying in bed a few days post-op. My bottom half is a sea of pain, and it hurts more every time I move. I need something to help me be comfortable - a drink, help getting myself to the lavatory, something. And there's no one to do it.
I'm faced with the fact that I've lived my life in such a self-centered and closeted way that now that I need help, I have nowhere to turn.
I apologize for the gush of self-pity. I feel so scared and alone and helpless. I'm used to running a family and this not a comfortable place for me.
I had planned to stay there alone because there's no one I feel comfortable asking to stay with me. My only idea was to ask my 16-year-old daughter whether she could stay with me. I told her I understood that it wouldn't be a fun four days but that there are times when family needs to come through for one another, especially when someone needs taking care of.
She clammed up and refused to talk more about it.
I'm so scared. I can't get this image out of my mind of lying in bed a few days post-op. My bottom half is a sea of pain, and it hurts more every time I move. I need something to help me be comfortable - a drink, help getting myself to the lavatory, something. And there's no one to do it.
I'm faced with the fact that I've lived my life in such a self-centered and closeted way that now that I need help, I have nowhere to turn.
I apologize for the gush of self-pity. I feel so scared and alone and helpless. I'm used to running a family and this not a comfortable place for me.
Title: Re: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: King Malachite on November 02, 2013, 11:41:03 AM
Post by: King Malachite on November 02, 2013, 11:41:03 AM
-hugs- I'm sorry that your daughter acted that way.
Is there any chance you can hire a private nurse?
Is there any chance you can hire a private nurse?
Title: Re: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 11:43:28 AM
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 11:43:28 AM
Hon, someone just joined recently and said they accompanied women who were traveling for surgery. I'll see if I can find her.
Title: Re: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 11:53:50 AM
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2013, 11:53:50 AM
Found her, but I misremembered the conversation a little. I still think she may be able to help you, I'll PM her information to you. Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: Edge on November 02, 2013, 01:02:18 PM
Post by: Edge on November 02, 2013, 01:02:18 PM
*big bear hug* I hope it can all work out, that the surgery goes well, and that your recovery is fine.
Title: Re: Feeling scared and alone
Post by: Tessa James on November 02, 2013, 01:16:47 PM
Post by: Tessa James on November 02, 2013, 01:16:47 PM
Suzi you do have months to figure this out and with your "running a family" household attitude I can only imagine you as eventually being in a place of confidence and healing.
Hang on and know that you have helped many others here who hardly consider you self centered. Self awareness and our gender odyssey take time and you are worth every bit of that.
You are both vulnerable and strong!
Hang on and know that you have helped many others here who hardly consider you self centered. Self awareness and our gender odyssey take time and you are worth every bit of that.
You are both vulnerable and strong!