Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I worked up the courage to tell my therapist last Tuesday. It went great, felt like I was floating all day. I was able to make an appointment with my GP yesterday. I was very nervous about it, but I got the words out. She was very understanding. Let me know that I'm her first trans patient so she might be over-thorough. That's fine. So, medically everything is great.

Last Tuesday, after the therapist, my mom invited up to her office for lunch, she works in the same building. We were in a private room, and I wanted to say something, but I couldn't do that to her at work. It just wouldn't be right. Thursday night my brother invited me over to his place to catch the Bulls game. This is very unusual, I generally only see his family on holidays. Technically it was one, but that's not the kind I mean. Now there's no bad feelings there, we're just a separatist sort of family. Anyway, I had myself worked up and thought it would be a great time to tell. With the little kids stopping in for candy, his kids in and out, and general (and normal) family chaos I just couldn't get it out. Looking back that's probably for the best. I want to be taken seriously, you know? So I resolve to stop in the next day (yesterday) and tell him since he works at home. I spent too much time at the GP (which was good, had blood drawn and sent labs to see if there are any issues with HRT) and needed to get to the office, I couldn't stop by. Last night was dinner at a public restaurant with my mom and grandmother. My grandmother is 92 and her mind is going. She won't understand. I can't tell her. Plus, we were in a public place, not a good spot to get into private information... My mom lives with my grandmother to keep an eye on her, so I can't just randomly stop by and talk. However, at 10:30 every Saturday my grandmother gets her hair done, problem solved, right? I get to their place at 10:45, I don't see my mom's car anywhere. I call her with the intent of asking her to come home to talk. Turns out my grandmother was already done at the salon and they were out at breakfast. I get invited, so I go. I have to sit there, ready to burst and I still can't say anything. The dinner the night before had been painful because I was freaking out, scared, ready to pop, and I just couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying. Breakfast this morning was worse.

I did mange to pull my mom aside when my grandmother went to the bathroom and let her know I needed to talk to her. First thing she asks is if I got some girl pregnant. I felt the hysterical laughter bubbling up and quickly squashed it. She kept guessing, each time further from the mark...

I feel like the powers that be are taunting me. I've seen my family more since I announced myself to the therapist than I normally do an any given week yet I can't tell them a thing. I spend all day worrying and shaking.

AAAARGH!

Big hug! The good news is once this is behind you, it's behind you.  Stay focused, hugs, Devlyn

Well heck yes girl, shout it out and shake off that taunt!

Honestly tho it does sound like you are being very considerate of others time and venue.  I trust you also consider your needs as equally valuable and recognize that there is no "one" right time or way to come out.  You have taken huge steps IMO and it is fun to think of you floating down the street.  Congratulations for being so thoughtful and still pursuing your own course.
Many of us have written "draft" letters and actually practice our coming out routines.  The first few times i actually sat down and told friends the tears would not stop and I felt like a mess.  With little experience or confidence we still have the capacity to build strength and knowledge to make our lives our own.

You own this Magdalena and I trust you will resolve the freaking out, pain and worry that is holding you back.  You are so entirely worth it!

Big warm and hopefully reassuring hugs ;D

Mom called. I didn't want to do it over the phone, but I did. I told her. She doesn't really understand. We really didn't get to talk about it long enough. I'm still shaking. Yay progress?

Maybe mom will be easier to talk to after she has time to get over the shock.

You can hope and still prepare to defend/explain your position calmly.



*furry KAT hug*

Stay strong big sis. I feel about the same way, I just can't get it out no matter how much I want to, I'm too scared. Big hug!
Love You!

Yes, I think that's progress! At least now she knows about it. My parents have probably forgotten about what I told them or they think I'm delusional or something :-\ Congratulations!
Kayla

*hugs!*  I remember that head-exploding feeling right before I told my mom and brother.  It's no fun!!! >.<

At least you got up the courage to say something to your mom over the phone.  It's a step!  I hope things go well when you get to talk to her in person. :)  Hopefully, she will be more understanding when you get to explain it to her more.  I think my mom kinda gets it, but she's still trying to convince me that I'm just a lesbian and my hormones are out of whack and don't get out of the house enough. XD

Keep your chin up, girl!  I'm rooting for you!! :icon_woowoo:

I know exactly how you feel. BIG HUGS!! You can do it, over coming the fear to tell them in person is tough. Gosh it is tough but you can do it!

I have a thread in this forum that details my coming out to my parents as it happened but the hardest part was dealing with not telling them rather than what actually did happen once I did tell them. The first night I just couldn't tell them, too much family drama was in the air. I ended up driving home 25 miles bawling my eyes out and almost didn't get up to face the world the next day. Later on that day as I depressingly faced the world I spent 10 hours at their house having panic attack after panic attack as I tried to over and over to come out to them but still I couldn't. So once again I drove home bawling my eyes out that once again I was a failure. Then on the third day I was able to tell them but only after I had left them a letter on their bed to read and as I was once again on my way out to the door to bawl my eyes out because I couldn't just tell them and had to resort to leaving a letter behind my mom asked what's been bothering me and that was all I needed to begin talking.

Congrats on at least telling her over the phone. Once you get time to talk in person you'll get to really hash things out and really being the transition process. 

Another big step Magdalena, good progress for you indeed!  We represent a sea change that most people never consider.  I guess that 99% of people just don't think about their gender identity like we do and simply take it for granted that they are who they appear to be.  For many of us thinking about our gender identity can become an acute and obsessive concern.  I don't think that people who are not transgender can really understand us in a fundamental way. 

What they can hopefully understand is the depth and importance of our basic identity to us and our need to address what can become a crippling problem.  Family support can be a huge plus and I remind myself of another bumper sticker slogan; "love makes a family."  Recreating that "family" with deliberate intention and commitment by volunteer members is another way to build a supportive circle.

I have not given up on my family of origin but I also recognize that we have limited time and resources to lovingly educate people.  Good luck with your ongoing discussions.  I suggest a brief physical workout-dance or something fun to work out those shakes prior to sitting down with mom.  There are some really great print resources here that you may want to share with her. 

Thank you all so much for your support. I've stopped with the shaking and am a little more calm today, so it must be progress.  ;)

I am still worried about what's coming next, but with family like you all with me how could I go wrong?  :icon_love:

Kai, I think I'm going to get some of that same treatment. Like I'm just confused or lost or this is a phase... But now that the door is open I think I can make her see how it is. I hope.  :eusa_think:

 We can go through this together girlfriend :)
Love,
Kayla

That's a deal, Kayla.  :D

 ;D

Good on you to get it out. It gets easier. I saw earlier on the site at another topic I was looking at. Someone said "it was hard to come out, but once I did I couldn't shut up." That's how I was. My mom found out first (even though I hadn't wanted to tell her yet), then I told my wife. Then I had to tell my dad. My in-laws found out next (due to a slightly hostile situation between my wife and I at that point). Then I told my brother. My wife's entire family knows now. I told all my friends at various times. I want my family to know, but my parents told me to wait until I actually start.

It'll get better.

On an unrelated note, Kayla, if that is a picture of you, uh.... WHY AREN'T YOU OUT!!! I'd be out if I looked like that.

That isn't a picture of me sadly. I pray every night that it was though :-\
Kisses

Well, on that note, wish it was me too.

Quote from: Magdalena on November 02, 2013, 02:35:01 PM
Mom called. I didn't want to do it over the phone, but I did. I told her. She doesn't really understand. We really didn't get to talk about it long enough. I'm still shaking. Yay progress?

Good for you, hon!  It is progress.  And perhaps a little information at first is easier to digest.  Maybe let your mom ask some questions at her pace.

We talked again.

Except for my gentle, non-agressive nature, apparently there's nothing girly about me... Because, you know, I didn't play with dolls as a kid. ???

She's asking me to see a different therapist implying my current one is somehow at fault. I, of course, told her no, not going to happen. She supports me but isn't convinced this is the right thing, nor is she going to be happy about it (her words). I'm not sure how supportive that is...

Frustrated.  :(

Ah, stereotypes!  There is nothing particularly "girly" about many natal women.

I would advise avoiding the "gender expectation" game.  Define yourself, rather than having to meet someone else's idea of what a woman should be

Don't count her out yet.  My mom had a very similar reaction where she thought that I hid it too well all my life for it to be true and I was just getting crazy ideas put in my head by a therapist.  However, after the initial shock wore off and she was able to research it more she has quickly been coming around.  Keep in mind that even if she was educated on the topic, which I'm guessing she wasn't, it would still be very hard for her to accept.  I'm willing to bet you didn't accept yourself overnight, so you can't expect her to either.  The important thing is she is saying she supports you so hopefully that means she will be willing to understand you better and in time become supportive in a more helpful way.

Quote from: Magdalena on November 04, 2013, 04:06:33 PM
We talked again.

Except for my gentle, non-agressive nature, apparently there's nothing girly about me... Because, you know, I didn't play with dolls as a kid. ???

She's asking me to see a different therapist implying my current one is somehow at fault. I, of course, told her no, not going to happen. She supports me but isn't convinced this is the right thing, nor is she going to be happy about it (her words). I'm not sure how supportive that is...

Frustrated.  :(

My mom does/did the exact same thing. She then kept saying I was trans because of X and if we do Y then I'd be cured of this and nobody would be inconvienced anymore. But every time I could debunk it and give an account of myself doing that and having the same feelings afterwards that just never went away. I let her do that for almost two weeks until I demanded to have her support in this. She too was saying that she supported me but every sign showed nothing but resistance. Then we talked a lot more and she's now coming around to my side of reality in all of this. Basically talk to them as much as you can even if you feel hurt afterwards. Also remember this all takes time, they have to come to terms with everything too.

Thank you, Jamie, skin, and Megumi. I'll keep trying. It's just hard to help someone see a thing when they seem to be trying their best to avoid it...

I am sure it took you some time to work out these things in your head.  It will take others time to adjust.

Some of our lucky sisters and brothers get the "Oh! Now it all makes sense" reaction, but most of us get blank stares, or "you've got to be sh**ing me."

The fact that your mother did not jump out a window, or toss you out of it(!), is sort of hopeful.

Don't really have any words of advice here, there are far wiser Susanites on the issue you're dealing with.

I would, however, like to offer you a big hug, and to say that you seem like a really warm, honest, genuine person. And I hope that your mother comes to some sort of understanding with you, because you deserve to be yourself, and loved for who that is.

I would also venture your mother isn't quite correct about there being nothing "girly" about you. Just from the way you express yourself, I feel a decidedly feminine energy.

I can totally relate to everything you say. I felt that shaking feeling whenever I tried to come out to my parents, and the disappointment when they told me they thought it was all in my mind because they never saw the "signs", and I never behaved like the opposite sex as a kid or during adolescence.
The only obvious advice I can give you is to try and make her understand it's not about what you like, what toys you played with or how you talk and move...it's only about what you feel and how you see yourself. But you surely know that already.
Maybe try to give her some resources she can get information from. For example I downloaded my child is transgender:10 tips for parents of adult transgender children by Matthew Kailey. I don't know if you already heard about this book, but I read it and I found it very good. It'short but it says what needs to be said, in my opinion. I don't know how effective it is, as my mother refused to read it, though.
I know it's hard when it seems like they're doing their best to not see a girl in you, but give her time. At least she didn't get depressed or blamed you of wanting to destroy the family, she didn't make you feel guilty, so I guess that is a good starting point.
I hope things will go better everyday for you!

Quote from: Sephirah on November 05, 2013, 08:40:11 AM

I would also venture your mother isn't quite correct about there being nothing "girly" about you. Just from the way you express yourself, I feel a decidedly feminine energy.

Btw, I feel that too.

Thank you, Mattia and Sephirah, it's very kind of you to say that I express myself in a feminine manner.  For that matter, it's been nice to be able to let it show.  :D

Today was a little better. I tried to distract her with ideas for names. (I think I'm already set, but she might feel better by participating.) We agreed that my brother and sister need to know. I'm very close with my brother's kids, it would break my heart to lose that. I know being there in person is better, but is email a socially acceptable method? My sister lives very far away, so being there in person will be impossible, but I could actually sit down with my brother. I don't know how he'll react...

The support on this thread has been amazing. Thanks to all of you, you've help me so much.

with much love,
-maggie

Magdalena email is used so universally now it seems fine IMO, and you may also choose it to set the stage and let folks know you have a deeply personal issue to discuss with them, in person or over the phone if that would help.  I thought initially that i could control the message but quickly found that my request to "let me tell my story first" was not always respected. 
Looking back I consider our "news" to be so racy that many folks can't wait to share and gossip, sigh.
I submit that it is way too easy for stereotypical misinformation to get snowballing that way.  I tried sitting down with family and friends one on one but soon resorted to an email letter.  Those that were less supportive were in the clear minority and self affirming as ideologues wed to a inflexible world view.  Many others responded with full on support and/or asked follow up questions.
The entire process goes on and helps me reassess my own thinking, motivations and assumptions.   Even the deniers give us something to work with?  I looked up some relevant bible passages to share with a brother worried aloud that I may be possessed by the devil.  Sadly there are some that will find reasons to attempt to invalidate our very personal truth if it conflicts with theirs.  I cannot recommend spending much time in a defensive posture.  If someone loves us prior to coming out they will likely remain in our corner.

Very cool of you to share and encourage your moms participation.  As others here know we sometimes get a bit absorbed with our trans situation and having activities and conversations that provide a break or some fun may help?

I'm glad email is acceptable, Tessa. That might be how it happens.  :D

I'm trying to find fun breaks. Between this, keeping my temp job, trying to start a business, wondering when/if to tell the business partners, and so on it does get to be a little much. If I didn't have weight to lose I'd go find some happy in a small container of ice-cream...  ;)

Maggie, I agree with Mittia and Sephirah. :)

*hugs!*

I hope things go well when you start teling everyone else. :)  I think I am going to wait until i get into therapy and actualy get diagnosed with GID before i tell anyone else.  My mom seemed pretty accepting at first but i dont think she can really wrap her head around it.  It seems like the more i talk about it the less she wants to hear it.  She just keeps trying to convince me i'm just confused for this reason or that reason.  It's frustrating. :P  But hopefully once i get diagnosed that will convince her it's not all in my head, but who knows.

You are doing great though, Maggie.  :)  You've got courage, sista!  Be proud!

Thanks, Kai.  :icon_love:

My mom does keep returning to the lost or confused possibility, too. Maybe it's a mom thing. You're definitely not the only one.  :D

*hug*

I am so sorry I missed this whole thread, Magdalena.  Turning into an internet hermit on the weekends causes no end of missed connections, apparently.

Please do give her time, like I am giving my mom.  She hasn't tried to contact me since I came out to her two weeks ago.  I've sent some pictures, we've exchanged emails, but no deep connection.  I know she is hurting, she knows I am, too.  She loves me, but I know she needs some time.

You've done it, at least; there are no "deep, dark secrets" to hide now, as far as trans issues are concerned.  Parents may take a while, but we really can adjust over time, and what we can't understand we can eventually accept.  The one thing *this* parent can't do, though, is quit loving her children.  :)

Love and peace to you in this troubled time, dear Magdalena!  :)

Robin you are a heartbreaker! Thank you for sharing that parental love and understanding.

Down with the deep dark secrets!

I have known my best friend my whole life. Technically, I didn't know him for the first five months because he wasn't born yet. It is accurate to say that I've known him his whole life. He is a brother to me.

Last night he needed a ride home. I struggled with how to say it. I froze when the gaps fell in the conversation. About 5 minutes in I finally forced myself to say something. We talked about it for the rest of the car ride, as one might expect. So when we finally got back to his house, there I am shaking and holding back tears. And he says, "I love you. If that's what makes you happy then I'm happy for you." Then he gave me a hug. It went as well as I could ever have hoped. Yay me!  ;D

Now to tell my actual brother and my sister...

I often think the 'adopted' family we have in life means more than blood at times. I'm glad it went well for you and this special person.

Quote from: Magdalena on November 07, 2013, 05:46:09 PM
Yay me!  ;D

Now to tell my actual brother and my sister...

What a relief eh?  People have been 180 degrees different than what my toxic fears had once created.
For many we are just no big deal at all and they have their own deep concerns.
I trust you too will continue to find that we remain lovable and worthy of that friendship and more.

Yay YOU!

Maggie, I first want to say that I am very, very proud of you! That was a huge step you took.

I stumbled upon this today and I thought I would share it. I know this video does not have exactly the same story as ours, but the message is still the same. I was actually thinking, when I take the next step to tell more of my family, that I would use this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSR4xuU07sc

*hug* 

Maggie, you are to be congratulated.  You are taking positives steps to acknowledge yourself... you are changing rapidly, setting the groundwork for yourself to become the woman you are with safety and support.  You are learning who your allies are in this, and who you cannot count on.  It's a wonderful achievement, and huge progress!

Be aware there will be parts of you that will resist change over time... you will get scared, you will have doubts, you will have down days.  Your mind is a complex, wonderful thing, but it takes time to change completely.  It's natural. 

I'm going through a period where I've retreated back into my male mask most of the time, due to familial stress and health issues (not my own, but with my fiancee).  I don't feel like dressing up, I don't have time for makeup.  But deep inside me I know who I *am* and I know that every day I'm making progress *because I am out* to the people I hold dearest.

So yes, congratulations are definitely in order!

Please remember that Team Susan is behind you, and you are building a physical support network to match the virtual one.  Surround yourself with people who want you happy, no matter what, because *you deserve it*.

*hug*

Quote from: Magdalena on November 07, 2013, 05:46:09 PM
And he says, "I love you. If that's what makes you happy then I'm happy for you." Then he gave me a hug. It went as well as I could ever have hoped. Yay me!  ;D

*hugs!*  Congrats, Maggie! ;D  Aren't those just the best words to hear from a loved one? :D

And Dalex, that video is awesome.  I'm glad you shared it.  :)  It's very inspiring!

You know, I'm just falling in love with each of you here!  I'm all teary for the second time tonight reading your posts, Maggie & Kai, and all of those who have responded. 
My spouse has gotten a very similar reaction when she came out to her parents, and I have been feeling all these emotions about their reaction on behalf of my spouse.  I want so badly for them to understand and fully support her, and I feel so protective of her about it, I have to be careful.  We think it's probably best if I don't get into it much with them anymore, and let the communication happen between my spouse and them directly.  But I am on the search for trying to find resources of information that might help them understand.  I'm excited to check out the book that Mattia mentioned!  Her parents (mom in particular) have the same objections about she didn't "act like a girl" when she was really little, so she couldn't "have a girl brain," and it must be something else.  It is so frustrating to me that they don't really listen so they might understand, but I know it is a process, I keep telling myself.

I think chapters 5 & 6 of Julia Serano's "Whipping Girl" book might address some of this type of objection for them, along with several other things that I think might help like this page: http://www.transsexual.org/Roles.html
and recently, this comment that I thought was really well-worded, by a trans woman on a website:

"I didn't *want* to be anything, I am exactly what I was born to be. I had a medical need to take estrogen as my brain was constantly telling me something was wrong because it had mostly testosterone instead. Now that I've fixed my hormones, I am at peace.

It's a common misconception that being transgender has to do with wanting to be seen as this, or thinking their traits match society's role better for that. It has nothing to do with any of this. There are lots of different combinations of chromosomes, not just two. There are lots of different hormone balances, not just two. Yet we divide the world into male/female because those are the most common configurations. Intersex people exist and they, along with trans people such as myself are naturally-created, have been around all throughout history, and are perfectly healthy, good people.

Society creates the definitions of male/female. It's based on commonality, not the full range of human possibility. It's not a social issue, but a medical one.

I was born with a body that would be identified as male, and was therefore raised to act like a man. But hormonally-speaking, my brain developed to expect a female body."

What I want to tell her parents, is that whether or not she played with dolls, or is "stereotypical" anything, the dysphoria that she experiences where her brain expects her body to be female, is not something new, is innate to her, is very real, is typical of many others born this way, and trying to live contrary to that is unbelievably distressing and nothing less than the crushing weight of feeling she can not be her true self.  To refuse to understand this, hear what she is really saying, is to tell her you would prefer her to be inauthentic and play a role that causes her pain, than to truly know your own child more fully for who they are.  If only people could see her for who she is when she is allowed to be herself!  She is beautiful and amazing, because of the happiness that shines from her heart.  I wish all parents and family of trans individuals could know the pure happiness in their loved one that comes from being supported and allowed to be theirselves.  If they grasped that, there is no way they could not want that for their loved one, not know that it is right.

Maybe that is one of the keys, bringing them back to how it makes you feel when you are allowed to be yourself, and when you are not allowed.  Because ultimately, how can they argue with that?  It is not a debate then over whether or not you have a "girl or boy brain," because they can always try to argue and invalidate that.  But how can they argue with how you feel, and your happiness or misery?  Make it clear it is not about whether they or anyone else thinks you have a "girl or a boy brain," but about how you feel about yourself, and how you can live and feel right.

I'm sorry, I think I'm letting my thoughts about my own situation leak all over the screen here, instead of staying focused on responding to you.  All these intense thoughts and feelings have just been so bottled up, that to find a place where others get it, where people are going through the same things...well, I think I am starved for that human connection of talking to people who are supportive and understand.  Thank you so much, each of you, for being awesome, and brave, and warm... for being incredible and being here to be family for each other.  Like I said, I'm falling in love with you people!  You've each stolen a very special place in my heart.  ((Hugs))

Thank you so much, Felice. Is it okay if I quote you when I put together my letter to my brother and sister? (Yes, I've managed to keep putting it off, I'm a terrible person.)

I completely agree with you. The people here are amazing. I love them so much. I've never met such a wonderful group of people in my life. Thank you all.  :icon_hug: :icon_bunch: :icon_love:

much love,
-maggie

 Oh, Maggie, you are so sweet (and definitely not a terrible person)!

I'm very happy and honored if anything I typed can help with your letter...though I'm slightly dubious that my ramblings are worth quoting, as I was just kind of, well, rambling.    :eusa_shifty: 

All my heart is with you!  Good luck & hugs,

Felice

It worked! I sent the email to my brother and sister. I never talk to my sister, last time I spoke was when she was visiting last Christmas. We spent an hour on the phone last night.  :icon_blahblah:

My brother sent a positive email back. He's nervous about saying the wrong thing in person. I am too, he goes for the funny in uncomfortable situations and sometimes goes right past funny and into mean territory. I know he cares and is trying to be there.  :icon_mrhappy:

So, yeah. *happy dance*  :icon_geekdance: :icon_dance: :icon_boogy:

I know I'm repeating myself, but the support you all have given me has been all the difference.  :icon_bunch:

That's awesome news, Maggie!  ;D  It must have been nice to talk to your sister for so long after not speaking much, the convo went well, I take it? :)

And your brother sounds like my brother. :laugh:  All he can seem to do is joke about it, but I know he's trying XP

*happy dances and throws confetti and chocolate in the air!* Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!  :icon_dance: :icon_walk: :icon_woowoo: :icon_geekdance: :icon_caffine: :eusa_clap: :icon_bumdance-nerd:

You made it work Maggie and I don't know how they could resist your charm or logic.  That does sound so typical for brothers to do the jokes, sarcasm and mean too quickly.  I have seven brothers and there has been a range of responses from one who wants to see me nude to one who worries about demonic possession.  Funny guys but love is at the core for us even after the teasing.

I am guessing that you already had a basically good relationship with your siblings and now you have even more to share.

With all that animation going on happy feet and happy dancing must feel right ;D

A big step, congratulations girl.

That is great news Maggie!! Wonderful news!

Seems everyone just has those siblings.... My sister has even demanded, that once I have fully completed my transition, that she has to see how my penis will look... Though, even though my sisters have take it fairly well, I don't dare to come out to my brother just yet xD But, I think I will do that once I have started seeing a gender therapist, which I am hoping will be very soon.

Again! Congratulation sister!

*Joins Kai on throwing confetti, somehow once again adding a puppy to the mix*

Super-huge fun-filled extravaganza of celebration, Maggie!  *hug*

*happy dance*

May your future be filled with such acceptance wherever you go!  :)

(((HUGS)))  *Adds a sunglasses-wearing tabby cat D.J. to round out the party*

I am so happy to celebrate with you.  :) 

My love and I are currently preparing letters for her brothers & sisters in law (and parents, who although they already know, have been ignoring it, and are in denial that this isn't just something they can forget, and hoping if they can distract her enough she will give up on the idea of transitioning...this letter is to let them know she is moving forward.)  This is so nerve-wracking, isn't it?  I mean you just want to make sure you say "all the right things" that will get through to them.  Your happy success I'll keep in my heart to give us hope and bravery. 

Look at how you beautiful/amazing people are helping others by being your wonderful selves and sharing here!  Thank you so much!

What a great story Magdalena! I love happy endings. I am so happy for you, just goes to show that much of our fears are unjustified.

I too am petrified of coming out but everyone who I have told has been great. I came out to my best friend Friday night he's a Marine veteran, he told me that I am still the same person to him and if the roles were reversed what would I do? Think that maybe the first time he's ever seen me cry. Whether or not he continues to accept this, the burden of not telling him is gone.

Of the 11 family and friends that I have come out to I have 100% love and support. Sometimes I think that I am my own worst enemy by letting fear dictate my life.

I'm so happy for you Maggie! :) ;) :D ;D
Kisses,