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My husband refuses to do anything except have a bitchfest about traffic. Where he works has a gym for employees and he could stay there and exercise, or he could get a bite to eat at the cafeteria and read a book, or he could go for a walk (there's some nice areas to walk outside). But no... he insists on getting into a vehicle and trying to drive across the city of Indianapolis while everyone else is doing the same thing and it makes him angry.

It makes me angry that he has options but he's incapable of being rational and picking one. His inability to behave like a rational adult has resulted in hundreds of dollars worth of damage to my vehicle and our shared property, not to mention when he walks in the door if I'm not greeting him with a smile he immediately attempts to pick a fight.
Worse yet, there's nothing for him to rush home for. It's not as if he's got anything to do when he walks inside. Everything's either already done or it can be taken care of later. With the way he rants and breaks things you'd think someone's life depended on him being home 20 minutes after he clocks out.

He just came in and a dog toy got stuck under the front door. He started ripping at the toy and the door and I heard a loud CRACK. Then he walked into the room where his poor dog stays all damn day, and he started yelling at her to 'f off' and 'get out of my face.' She's currently sitting next to me and avoiding him.

Quote from: randomroads on November 05, 2013, 04:07:38 PM
He just came in and a dog toy got stuck under the front door. He started ripping at the toy and the door and I heard a loud CRACK. Then he walked into the room where his poor dog stays all damn day, and he started yelling at her to 'f off' and 'get out of my face.' She's currently sitting next to me and avoiding him.

Sounds like he is angry and needing someone to hear him, but chicken to actually do anything about it. He probably needs a counselor of his own. He also may not know why he is angry.

He was seeing someone. Then he insisted on moving out of state and then never bothered to try setting anything up again. He's got the time to do it, but he's unwilling to do it, and I'm unwilling to do it for him.

Man, that is not cool. He's breaking things? I hope you don't mind me asking this, but how violent does he get? Are you safe?

He get's violent toward inanimate stuff. That's not okay, but I am safe. He has yelled at me before and I escalated it because I don't put up with stuff.

He has real anger issues that needs to be addressed. Seeing a therapist even if he/you doesn't want to set up the appointment could help out. Anger outbursts are something that you don't want to have going on around you as sometimes things can turn out very bad. There might be a point when the inanimate object is unintentionally used against you but he doesn't/can't stop because he's raging. Case and point is that the dog knows what's going on and pets generally have a very good grasp on their humans feelings from what I've seen all my life with having pets. 

randomroads - the idea of working out in the gym after hours is really a good one.  He can release his tensions that way.

You've described an unhappy situation. As Dr. Phil says, life is a negotiation. You have to communicate what you want and he has to do the same, then you both have to negotiate what each other has to do to meet the other's needs. Simple Eh? Not really, but it makes sense to me.

Before he left work work today I made sure his gym clothes were packed and I told him so and point blank told him I wanted him to stay after work about 40 minutes and relax, work out, and maybe grab a snack from the cafeteria before heading home.