Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My older brother is a jerk. We're 15 months apart and he has spent over two decades treating me like crap. I could deal before, because he'd just make fun of me for trivial things. But now his favorite thing is to rip apart my identity. We've both done stupid stuff so we're both living in my parents house right now, sometimes there's just no escaping it. I spent my whole life wishing I was him, so I think that makes it more painful. How do you deal?




Edited for profanity

If it were me I would spend as little time in his presence as possible while working my butt off to get out of that house. 

my relationship with my younger brother is pretty messed up too. he's 5yrs younger than me so it gave me a bit of advantage, i was the dominant sibling in playing fighting and stuff. i could pull off being treated as crap because i've always been taller and stronger. it was him who chickens out and runs to mom when a fight gets serious. our voices were so similar that even mom couldn't tell them apart. but that doesn't mean i wasn't jealous of him. being the dominant helped my mentality a lot, but my parents resist it, insisting that i should be the submissive. living in a mostly male dominated society, they don't like me overruling him. so they favour him all the time and it pisses me off, and makes me want to be him so badly. i'm so jealous about his body too, and things are getting worse as he's lurking at puberty now. he's as tall as me now and probably stronger, and his voice has started to crack. and all i can do is watch his hormones do wonders on him, and he surpass me into manhood. i'm so so jealous.

I don't like all of my siblings either. I am also stuck living with them because I moved back home to save money in grad school. I don't let anything bother me, because I guess I just don't care. Some people are just going to be mean, its them, not you. I don't hate them, I just couldn't care. Just because they're family it doesn't mean you need to be liked the Partridge family. Well,that's how I deal, though I know that's not for everyone.

Wow, that sucks for you guys.
The only thing I can think of is sitting down with your siblings/parents and having a very serious conversation about how they are hurting you by their behavior. You don't have to go into details, just try to set up some boundaries so everyone knows what is and isn't acceptable behavior. It might not help, but then again, it might. If nothing else, you can call them out on being deliberately cruel to you.
-Alex

Damn that sucks and my experience is very similar. My brother who's a year and a half younger than me is a jerk. He bullied me since I was 16 and now he ignores me completely, which is another form of bullying.

How do I deal? The answer is I don't. I was told that you should never stop fighting for someone who lets you go like that, but I'm too much of a wimp to confront him about it. I just let it happen. It sucks. Sorry I have no good answer.




Edited for profanity