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I have noticed through my transition so far that I feel the pressure to be kind-faced, sweet, and gentle almost all the time. When I got into learning more about feminism, and misogyny I understood that I was not alone. often am I told to smile, predominantly by men, especially on the street. 
I find it perpetuates sexism at its finest. We as women need to be strong, educated, and assertive. Needing to be smiley-smiley all the time stresses me out, and I can't stand when i'm told to smile and it's a huge pet peeve of mine when others, esp. other women, tell women to smile.
We as women are subjected to social powers that think we are only as good as we look, and for the convenience of others, we should smile, or we threaten that very power structure by being worth otherwise.
i think this is important for us as trans women to know because i believe we face misogyny as a whole new beast and deal with beauty standards to a much more complicated level.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a statement moreso and see if anyone else can relate to the pressure.

http://www.ebony.com/news-views/when-i-stopped-asking-women-to-smile-981#axzz2lXkKHYhj <--interesting read.

Quote from: Torn1990 on November 24, 2013, 12:39:49 AM
Anyway, I just wanted to make a statement moreso and see if anyone else can relate to the pressure.

Maybe not the pressure to smile but certainly other pressures that women face.

I can't cook! Deal with it! >:(

Personally I'm all for smiling. When I smile, people are warmer towards me. I do not think that's just a trait exclusively given to women. When I was living as a male it applied to me as well.

If you want to look miserable go ahead, but people like to be around happy people more than grumpy people. I know I avoid anybody who looks mad at the world, whether they're male or female.

I *hate* when that happens, and yes, it gives me a feminism.

Personally, I think I have a whole range of facial expressions between "smiling" and "grumpy/angry." :) I don't tend to smile for no reason, but I generally look cheerful and pleasant, or so I'm told.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 24, 2013, 07:19:10 AM
Personally I'm all for smiling. When I smile, people are warmer towards me. I do not think that's just a trait exclusively given to women. When I was living as a male it applied to me as well.

If you want to look miserable go ahead, but people like to be around happy people more than grumpy people. I know I avoid anybody who looks mad at the world, whether they're male or female.

Pretty much this ^. I smile a lot more (or try to) but I almost appreciate when people tell me to smile because I think they're trying to be nice and I do want people to want to be around me. It's kind the point of transition. I don't believe they are trying to subjugate me. The only time I can honestly say I was a victim of male sexual aggression was waiting for a train and being told how sexy my little body is and having some random dick start trying to touch me and grab my ass. Then following me all the way to 5th Street. So being told to smile is rather tame in comparison.

I wish I smiled more. I know we do not have to however it just seems the thing to do. I'm going to try harder to smile each time I see someone new. I nice smile on another persons face makes me feel better about them so I'm sure if I smile other people will feel better about me.

Just this morning at Walmart I noticed that several women smiled nicely & they looked happier. I'll take smiling & being more of a nice woman.

Thank you for posting this.

Smile, GF. (just kidding)

Thankfully I haven't had to deal with this just yet. On a good day I will be smiling anyway, on an average day I will ask why and on a bad day it will be more of an I will smile when you stop being a see you next Tuesday.

But then again I am naturally stroppy.

Rosie

I would smile a lot more if I didn't need dental braces! I hate them!

But smiling is a good thing and helps to give your face a more feminine looking, especially if you have full round cheeks! Nothing is more beautiful than a woman smiling!

I smile when I'm happy, not when I'm told to.

Quote from: Natalia on November 24, 2013, 01:21:40 PM
I would smile a lot more if I didn't need dental braces! I hate them!

But smiling is a good thing and helps to give your face a more feminine looking, especially if you have full round cheeks! Nothing is more beautiful than a woman smiling!

You're pretty much right.

Take Facebook for instance - if a girl isn't smiling on her profile pic, it raises a flag with me that she's may be trans. It's rare that I see trans women smiling on Facebook - it seems many are more serious faced (like men are in general) ... or just more interested in taking pictures of their legs, which is another story :P

Please don't take this personally but honestly, how does smiling have anything to do with Feminism also this is the first time I've heard of some odd conspiracy trying to force women to smile more.

I like everyone to smile, because when they do I feel better about confronting them and talking with them. I enjoy smiling because I feel people feel the same way.

I work in a business were appearance is everything, I am a Graphic Designer so I smile for my clients, I smile for my friends, I smile for my family. I smile even when almost everyday I struggle with my gender issues.

I have a lot to smile for, and I want that to out weight what I don't have to smile about.

Sure we don't always feel like smiling, but if we don't who will?

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 24, 2013, 01:41:47 PM
You're pretty much right.

Take Facebook for instance - if a girl isn't smiling on her profile pic, it raises a flag with me that she's may be trans. It's rare that I see trans women smiling on Facebook - it seems many are more serious faced (like men are in general) ... or just more interested in taking pictures of their legs, which is another story :P

:laugh: Oooh, you are so wicked! [quickly recomposes herself and wipes that smile off her face]

Quote from: Aina on November 24, 2013, 01:53:24 PM
Please don't take this personally but honestly, how does smiling have anything to do with Feminism?

Right.

I always thought that whole "smiling makes you look more feminine" thing to be a load of crap. It's just one of those things people like to tell themselves so they have a false sense of feeling better.

High school students are told to not smile in athletic team pictures. I don't much care for that trend.

All I'm saying is: if I saw the woman in the poster with that facial expression, I'd avoid her.

I agree w Torn.
I don't have to smile for no one, it's very disrespectful.

The most unfortunate thing about the whole smiling women thing as far as I'm concerned, is that I know my passability is MUCH better when I smile. It makes my cheeks appear plumper and my chin narrower. So if I want to pass well, I feel like I'm more or less required to smile.

here you all go: http://stoptellingwomentosmile.com/About :) here you all go Tatyana Fazlalizadeh is pretty amazing.

I feel this issue has less to do with feminism and more to do with a social/personal issue for everyone.

Because lets face it men and women come off looking better if they are smiling.

I can understand getting annoyed when you have had a really bad day and someone says. "relax and just smile". I guarantee guys get told to smile in all kinds of situations as well.

Got to go for a job interview? "Remember to smile!"
Going out on a date? "Smile look friendly!"
Starting high school? "Try to smile you'll make friends"
Selling a product to a client? "Try to smile and shake their hand firmly"

These are all examples of when I was told to smile.

It does have to do with feminism...

being harassed isn't fun.

Quote from: Torn1990 on November 24, 2013, 12:39:49 AM
I have noticed through my transition so far that I feel the pressure to be kind-faced, sweet, and gentle almost all the time...I find it perpetuates sexism at its finest. We as women need to be strong, educated, and assertive. Needing to be smiley-smiley all the time stresses me out, and I can't stand when i'm told to smile and it's a huge pet peeve of mine when others, esp. other women, tell women to smile.

I completely understand and I happen to have the opposite dillemma! I can't help but smile and find people may not take me seriously because of it. This is especially true in my male-dominated classes or at work. It's actually quite paradoxical-men tend to be more at ease in my presence, as I'm "smiley-smiley", but less at ease discussing anything serious.

Oh my!  With all the crappy stuff going on in the world these days, and we're discussing "smile oppression."

Smiling is known in every culture and throughout history as a sign of happiness and contentment.  People who smile more live longer.  So go on, let the world know how you feel.  It's your life.

Can we become any more petty?   :(

Aha... street harassment is petty. ok.
it's offensive to tell a woman you don't know to smile, period.

I'm done lol

okay I lied LOL

I just want to add one more thing: if you don't face the oppression, don't try to educate others that do face it that it doesn't exist. that's how people move backwards. (It's also condescending and rude as hell)

Quote from: Gabrielle on November 25, 2013, 01:09:17 AM
Oh my!  With all the crappy stuff going on in the world these days, and we're discussing "smile oppression."

Smiling is known in every culture and throughout history as a sign of happiness and contentment.  People who smile more live longer.  So go on, let the world know how you feel.  It's your li

Can we become any more petty?   :(

it's nit pettiness per say. I was not feeeling well once, got off the El, and some random guy I barely know but see a lot says 'girl why aint you smiling?l is annoying. Because I'm sick. That's why. I try to smile as much as I can but it's just a more relaxed version of cat calling. It does not happwn to men ever. Women don't go up to men and say smile. And another man never would. But clearly smiling is good. It's about context.

LOL, y'all can feel oppressed if you want to.  Whatever floats your boats.  I try not to read evil intent into every comment directed my way.

Has it ever occurred to you that your "oppressor" maybe just wants you to be happy?  Or to share their joy?

Oh, and it does happen to men.  And boys.  And grumpy old men too.  And it happens to women from other women.  It is a sign of caring.  Don't let me stop the pity party though.    ::)

Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 25, 2013, 02:13:33 AM
it's nit pettiness per say. I was not feeeling well once, got off the El, and some random guy I barely know but see a lot says 'girl why aint you smiling?l is annoying. Because I'm sick. That's why. I try to smile as much as I can but it's just a more relaxed version of cat calling. It does not happwn to men ever. Women don't go up to men and say smile. And another man never would. But clearly smiling is good. It's about context.

It is casually sexist depending on the person and yes, the context. They may not even realize they're doing it. Many men are blissfully ignorant of the pressures they put on women. It may seem like a small thing, but it's certainly a building block to sexism. And it's something that may not even be their fault as it's conditioned by society. The smiling faces of women are plastered everywhere in advertisements. And women are supposed to be 'happy with what men provide for them'. If a guy flirts, offers a compliment, 'emotional support', does something nice for a woman, he likely expects a coy or appreciative smile back. This stuff may seem ridiculous but even in 2013 we're not that far removed from the classic chauvinism depicted in previous centuries as well as the social conditioning in women. 
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Smiling might seem like an insignificant thing at first, but if a guy is flirting or bothering you and you don't want the attention, don't smile back. Even if you're trying to be nice. With many men, if you give them any encouragement like that, they will persist and walk all over you. I'm not generalizing here, just speaking from experience. If you feel a certain way, let them know, because you can't leave it to most men to pick up on nuances or feelings. Some might, but you can't expect it.

I sound like an angry man-hater don't I? xD I'm really not.

Quote from: Gabrielle on November 25, 2013, 02:25:27 AM
Oh, and it does happen to men.  And boys.  And grumpy old men too.  And it happens to women from other women.  It is a sign of caring.  Don't let me stop the pity party though.    ::)

I think we can all agree that the "smiling" comments happen to everyone, no matter their gender. However, I don't know that anyone's opinions should be called a pity party. While we may not all agree with each other, we can still offer good points like the one you made about commentators caring.   

As you said earlier, we're definitely not that petty!  :)

 :police:

I find it rather amazing that we can get worked up on a thread about smiling!

Calm down.

Cindy

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 24, 2013, 07:19:10 AM
Personally I'm all for smiling. When I smile, people are warmer towards me. I do not think that's just a trait exclusively given to women. When I was living as a male it applied to me as well.

If you want to look miserable go ahead, but people like to be around happy people more than grumpy people. I know I avoid anybody who looks mad at the world, whether they're male or female.

I totally agree with you. Smiling even when I'm not happy keeps me from being negative.

Quote from: Orange Creamsicle on November 25, 2013, 04:17:01 AM
I've experience the opposite version of this.  For years I was harassed for smiling "when I didn't have a good reason to."  I now live with an inability to express positive emotion and people think I'm lying when I say I'm excited or happy about something because I don't show it. 

Sorry if I'm derailing.

Same, inappropriate smiling, meant smiling at any time.

Quote from: brianna1016 on November 25, 2013, 03:29:15 AM
I totally agree with you. Smiling even when I'm not happy keeps me from being negative.

Good point. I work in a call center and I smile while talking to people. It helps me to sound upbeat and friendly.

BTW a girl sings the song "Smile". The song is by Vitamin C. Look it up on YouTube. I doubt she's being misogynistic.

Quote from: Cindy on November 25, 2013, 02:54:41 AM
:police:

I find it rather amazing that we can get worked up on a thread about smiling!

Calm down.

Cindy

Lol :-) I smile, even when I am typing! :-) ...see!

In real life I smile allllll the time too, ^________^

Its the trappings you know. It's the trappings.

Quote from: Shaina on November 25, 2013, 02:41:00 AM
I think we can all agree that the "smiling" comments happen to everyone, no matter their gender.

No, I don't agree at all.

I really think people have missed the point. It's not about your friend, or your mom or your boyfriend telling you to smile; it's about a random man on the street who says smile when you pass. Big difference. This does not happen to men. Ever. Men don't come up to other men and tell them to smile. Unless they want to get punched in the face. Seriously.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 25, 2013, 11:33:36 AM
No, I don't agree at all.

I really think people have missed the point. It's not about your friend, or your mom or your boyfriend telling you to smile; it's about a random man on the street who says smile when you pass. Big difference. This does not happen to men. Ever. Men don't come up to other men and tell them to smile. Unless they want to get punched in the face. Seriously.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_1FbjuJp4E

That made me think of this. :D :D

LOL that's hilarious! Well, maybe women do it to men too. I don't know. I do know that if some guy said smile to any of my male friends that would cause an issue. A woman: that's another story.

The reason why I do not think it is a feminist issue, is it does not just apply to women only and I hardly believe it happens to just women either. Also it may not be limited to be just told to smile.

Quote from: Miss_Bungle1991 on November 25, 2013, 12:24:30 PM
Actually, I think it goes both ways as far men and women go in SOME cases. I remember when I was in Jr High and High School and I would have some guys that would tell me that I should smile. But they were always the quieter, less aggressive types so that may have played a role in that too. I was a pretty miserable person in those days. The only time I was smiling was when I was alone in my bedroom listening to my stereo or if I had just bought a new cassette at the record store or pawn shops on Fridays after saving up 90% of my lunch money throughout the week. :D

The rest of the time, I hated everyone else and especially myself.

I was a pretty hyper-active kid so I smiled allot regardless of my mood, honestly most of high school was me sleeping hehe. But I am sure I've been told to have a stiff upper lip ect, or smacked on my back and called bud, by random people who were trying to get me to smile.

I think its human nature, most people want others to be happy and humans portray being happy through smiling/laughing ect. I am not sure why type of person wants people not to be happy.

I just don't think it belongs under the feminist movement is all, I believe myself to be a feminist and I don't feel every issues brought up actually belongs with it and to do so actually hurts that true meaning. Not to mention it slightly feels like encouraging women not to smile paints that old stereotype of a feminist, that they are angery man hating women.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 25, 2013, 12:11:34 PM
LOL that's hilarious! Well, maybe women do it to men too. I don't know. I do know that if some guy said smile to any of my male friends that would cause an issue. A woman: that's another story.

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld. I even got into King Of Queens due to the involvement of Jerry Stiller. But I haven't been watching them as much since I have been on this cartoon kick with The Get Along Gang, Tenchi Universe and recently, TaleSpin.

Interesting topic.

I can not recall being told to smile, not as an adult, nor do I recall telling people to smile. So this, from my perspective seems to be much ado about nothing. Others clearly have had different experiences.

People don't tend to say, "Hey, wipe that smile off your face and give me your best scowl!"

People are very good at reading facial expressions and body language. In most cases, people can detect the differences between a true smile and a forced one. Same with frowns, or other emotions conveyed through the face. Only neutrality can be easily faked, because it is the utter lack of muscle tension.

Anyway, Torn, your thread has kinda' blown my mind. It is almost impossible to read your first post, without then glancing at your avatar pic. You are clearly not smiling. Thinking back, I can't remember you smiling in any avatar pic.

Bear with me here, it may take a while for my point to be made clear.

So yeah, Torn, the expression made in your avatar, it is not a smile, it is not neutral, it seems, for lack of a better term, angry. It is kind of odd what an avatar can convey. When I see you make a post, your avatar alone leaves me thinking, before I even read what you have written, that you are not going to like what you are replying to. That you are having a bad day. A part of me is intimidated and wants to stay away from you.

But then you made this thread and I thought, what if Bruce Willis was making the same sort of expression on a movie poster? He would be seen as powerful, motivated and ready to take action.

So, again, I can not remember telling a woman to smile, and yet, I guess I often enough, jump to conclusions when they don't.

Thank you Torn, for this most enlightening of threads. I now see your avatar in a new light. More power to you!

I never told anyone to smile and to tell the truth I never really cared if poeple were smiling or not. People can have bad days (or dental braces  ;D) and I understand that.

It is harder to see men smiling, but it is in their nature to be serious, boring and dettached of emotions, right? At least the classic stereotype of men is this kind of serious men.

Luckly there are different men today. On my personal case, my grandfather was a colonel and treated his son (my father) as if he was in army. My father, because of that, never learned to smile and to say "I love you". On the other hand, I was raised mainly by my mother and "I love you" is one of the phrases I say all the time to people I care about.

But coming back to the subject (sorry if sometimes I get lost)

Smiling should be for everyone, but as men have this imposed behavior of not being emotional, needing to be cold and serious and boring (am I being too repetitive?), they never smile. Women, on the other hand, are free to smile and free to be happy! :)

Quote from: Tori on November 25, 2013, 04:41:59 PM
So yeah, Torn, the expression made in your avatar, it is not a smile, it is not neutral, it seems, for lack of a better term, angry. It is kind of odd what an avatar can convey. When I see you make a post, your avatar alone leaves me thinking, before I even read what you have written, that you are not going to like what you are replying to. That you are having a bad day. A part of me is intimidated and wants to stay away from you.

But then you made this thread and I thought, what if Bruce Willis was making the same sort of expression on a movie poster? He would be seen as powerful, motivated and ready to take action.

A very good point about popular perceptions Tori! I think a lot of people can relate and the movie poster example really made it clear for me!  ;D

SCOWL Shaina!!!!

Quote from: Tori on November 25, 2013, 04:41:59 PM

So yeah, Torn, the expression made in your avatar, it is not a smile, it is not neutral, it seems, for lack of a better term, angry. It is kind of odd what an avatar can convey. When I see you make a post, your avatar alone leaves me thinking, before I even read what you have written, that you are not going to like what you are replying to. That you are having a bad day. A part of me is intimidated and wants to stay away from you.

But then you made this thread and I thought, what if Bruce Willis was making the same sort of expression on a movie poster? He would be seen as powerful, motivated and ready to take action.

So, again, I can not remember telling a woman to smile, and yet, I guess I often enough, jump to conclusions when they don't.

Valid points there with the difference between how men and women are perceived based on whether they are smiling or not. As a FAAB this is something that I noticed as part of my "training" to be an attractive female. When being told to smile from a perspective of it makes you look more feminine/female then I think it is offensive. Personally, I hate when people tell me to smile regardless because I don't always feel the emotional energy to do so. I also think that smiling at people as they walk past me is a good thing to do because I don't know what their life is like, but a smile can mean a lot to someone.

Quote from: Trenton on November 25, 2013, 10:00:05 PM
i also think that smiling at people as they walk past me is a good thing to do because I don't know what their life is like, but a smile can mean a lot to someone.

I do this. If I look at someone to long I just think it is polite so they don't think I am thinking anything bad. Plus I like when people smile at me. Smiling is great and makes the world a better place. And I heard this issue before preHRT and thought what is the bug deal but now it happens to me. And guys that I don't know have put their hands all over me since I transitioned and yes it is validating (like wow they think I'm pretty n sexy) but it's also scary and objectifying. I don't think a lot of people get it until it happens to you. But that's the last I'll say.

This.

Quote from: Tori on November 25, 2013, 08:44:08 PM
SCOWL Shaina!!!!

My bad!!!  ;)

I was in the Post Office yesterday. I had a letter to send by Guaranteed Delivery so I had to speak to one of the staff behind the desk. I was, I hope, perfectly polite to her, said please and thank you, and probably did at one point or another give her a brief, friendly smile, just to let her know I wasn't going to be a pain in the ass to deal with.

I still present male, so that's perfectly normal, acceptable, non-threatening behaviour.

At the counter next to me a woman was handing in a parcel. As it was measured and the staffer (also female) was working out how much it would cost to post, the customer told some little story about a man who'd seen her carrying the parcel ... and ... well, to be honest, I have no idea how the story went. But the point is, it ended with both women having a little giggle, and thereby bonding through laughter and, yes, smiling at one another.

This is not a sexist thing. It's not social conditioning. It's just one of the ways women socialise and affiliate. Likewise, when a women is having her photograph taken, or takes a selfie she'll almost certainly be smiling - and if she isn't then not-smiling is a deliberate, conscious act, done to make a point.

Women smile more than men, just like - on average, and there's a ton of research on this - they talk more than men, using a greater vocabulary and with a more expressive vocal range.

And this brings me to the point that Alaina made about a non-smiling Facebook face 'flagging up' a transsexual ... I make a point of never making a negative comment about any picture any girl posts on here, especially on the threads like "You look fabulous", or "Before and after". I mean, really, the last thing anyone transitioning needs is another transsexual being bitchy at them. BUT ... there are so, so many times, when I look at another moody self-portrait, or see someone screing up her face into some kind of moody/angry/wacko expression when I just long to say, 'For heaven's sake, woman - SMILE!'

So many people would look so much more feminine and pass so much better if they just did what 99% of cis-women do, which is smile, learn your best angle, and then, if you see a camera, combine the smile and the angle to get the best result. Maybe that's sexist. Maybe that's oppressive. Maybe it's a terrible sin that most women want to look as pretty as they can and be as popular as possible. But that's just how the world is. So if you want to be accepted as a woman, why not accept the reality of female life and ... smile.

PS: It has also been scientifically established that a smile is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you smile, the more genuinely happy you feel. Honestly, what's not to like?!  :)

Quote from: Carlita on November 28, 2013, 05:52:38 AM
It has also been scientifically established that a smile is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you smile, the more genuinely happy you feel. Honestly, what's not to like?!  :)

That is a fact, HOWEVER! Back when I was 16 and was androgynous enough to live for about a year full time as female, I'd have random strangers tell me to smile, and it would piss me off because the context makes it really patronizing and sexist, let me try to explain why I felt that way:

The random guys who would tell me to smile would be the same exact guys that on another day would, at me or another girl, whistle like one or two streets away loudly and say stuff like "Hey lady, give me your number, don't play the bitch's part!" or "Hey hottie what's up" then follow you and try to chat you for a few streets. The exact same guys, the very same patronizing tone!! I could not care less about the words at that point, wether they ask you to smile or for your number or for the hour! Tone, body language and context say way more! It has like nearly always been so! With a few nice exceptions, but they were clear minority exceptions!!

EDIT: Remembering these different situations, I get really outraged at these smile comments, a lot of times they would be followed straight away by other stuff like what's a lovely girl like you doing out here alone? Or Why don't you wear cuter stuff, cute girls should wear cute clothing? (meaning like, mini skirt instead of a pair of regular girly jeans, you know, it is what a cute girl SHOULD DO pretty much the way she SHOULD SMILE and show a pretty face to these random douches for their own enjoyment obviously, whatever about my opinion and feelings, these are the kind of people who would use force rather than words if they found you in a lonely street at night...). Really, I'd love to have some normal person tell you to smile when you are kind of angry and feeling down, kind of trying to lift your mood or help, but in my experience, where I used to live, 95% of the times it's just potential molesters, rapists, pervs, what have you, telling you to smile. Eww!!

Quote from: Shaina on November 28, 2013, 03:10:54 AM
My bad!!!  ;)

:D :D

Quote from: ganjina on November 28, 2013, 07:07:13 AM
That is a fact, HOWEVER! Back when I was 16 and was androgynous enough to live for about a year full time as female, I'd have random strangers tell me to smile, and it would piss me off because the context makes it really patronizing and sexist, let me try to explain why I felt that way:

The random guys who would tell me to smile would be the same exact guys that on another day would, at me or another girl, whistle like one or two streets away loudly and say stuff like "Hey lady, give me your number, don't play the bitch's part!" or "Hey hottie what's up" then follow you and try to chat you for a few streets. The exact same guys, the very same patronizing tone!! I could not care less about the words at that point, wether they ask you to smile or for your number or for the hour! Tone, body language and context say way more! It has like nearly always been so! With a few nice exceptions, but they were clear minority exceptions!!

EDIT: Remembering these different situations, I get really outraged at these smile comments, a lot of times they would be followed straight away by other stuff like what's a lovely girl like you doing out here alone? Or Why don't you wear cuter stuff, cute girls should wear cute clothing? (meaning like, mini skirt instead of a pair of regular girly jeans, you know, it is what a cute girl SHOULD DO pretty much the way she SHOULD SMILE and show a pretty face to these random douches for their own enjoyment obviously, whatever about my opinion and feelings, these are the kind of people who would use force rather than words if they found you in a lonely street at night...). Really, I'd love to have some normal person tell you to smile when you are kind of angry and feeling down, kind of trying to lift your mood or help, but in my experience, where I used to live, 95% of the times it's just potential molesters, rapists, pervs, what have you, telling you to smile. Eww!!

Yeah, it's gross to have to cope with pervs and lechers, so I do sympathise and I absolutely understand tha when they tell you to smile it's not nice, or acceptable at all ...

BUT ...

You should know that a huge proportion of women on this site would KILL to be so cute and so passable that guys began talking to them with the words, 'What's a pretty girl like you ...' no matter what s*** came next!!  :)

Hehe that's a very positive outlook on it, thanks. I'll try to keep it in mind. Hopefully I'll be able to be passable again after a few years of not doing anything about it...

Despite my rather dour red profile pic, I made a habit of smiling because (apart from actually being quite happy most of the time) I find it rounds out/softens the angles of your face a little, adding another minor female gender marker/cue that is put out there to be received. What a selfish reason to smile, huh?! :D

Quote from: GendrKweer on November 29, 2013, 06:24:12 AM
What a selfish reason to smile, huh?! :D

Careful, please. It may be contagious.  :police: