Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, like most things that make me insecure, one of them is might height. I'm 5'1 1/2..not even 5'2 and it's annoys me. Specially now that I'm with someone, not in rl, it's a chick I met "online" I've told her pretty much everything about me, the whole transgender things, video chat, pictures so we're both secure that we're real. I have plans to go visit her and stuff but one thing I keep putting off is my height, pretty stupid I know since she'll see me, can't hide that fact. She's 5'8 which makes it even worse, not that I give a damn that she's taller, just that she won't "like" the fact I'm this short. I've told her I wasn't tall before, she think I'm 5'5- I wish. She has said she doesn't care because she really likes me for "me" who I am as a person (as long as I'm not under 5'0 haha.....)

Even so, I dread telling her "I'm really 5'1 1/2" it's my own insecurity, I know I will have to before I meet her in person since I don't want to "surprise" her. I know it's genetics, not something I can "fix" but it bothers me. I know most of us transmen aren't so tall, some are in the average zone, while some of us aren't. I guess I can also put the blame on the fact that I have Mexican blood running through my veins, I know a few cis men around my height and not a lot are 6'4 or 6'0. This isn't trans related, just needed to put it out there, seeking some advice, though I know what's the best thing to do. I just fear rejection, you'll think I'll fear being rejected because I'm trans, but she's pretty much 100% supportive of my transition.

-just another day in deep thoughts-
Thx for reading guys!

In most places 6'0 is considered tall while 6'4 is considered really tall anyway. There are quick fixes like wearing lifts in your shoes to give you a few more inches so you can seem taller but the best thing to do is just be honest with her. I know it's easy to say this but if she really has a problem with your height then she probably isn't worth your time. If she actually did like you for you she wouldn't give you conditions like "as long as you're not under 5'0", she would accept you no matter your height.

Quote from: M a t t on November 29, 2013, 01:19:22 AMShe has said she doesn't care because she really likes me for "me" who I am as a person (as long as I'm not under 5'0 haha.....)

Granted, I don't know this person - but anyone who is going to be so shallow as to let something like height affect their feelings for another person - then those feelings, IMHO, weren't genuine to begin with.

I don't understand people.  I understand being attracted to or not attracted to certain things, but if you genuinely love someone then those kinds of useless, shallow concepts fly out the window. 

When of the weird things we have is that guys want height and woman want to shrink.

I was at dinner a few weeks back with a member of our local female basketball team and her partner. My BF is about the same height as me (I'm 5' 7") I like to wear heels, I tower over him at that point. R is about 6' 2"? she likes heels as well, she was touching 6' 6" - tall. Her BF is about 5' 7" as well. Did our BF's feel unconfident, did we feel out of place?

No.

We were with men who love us and we love them.

Really that is the end of story.

If you like someone, so what?

Height doesn't matter, the heart is what counts.

JMO
Cindy

I won't wear lifts, because I need shoes that feel good on me and so on, and I doubt they would (esp that I wear shoes for people with planar facitis. I can't say it doesn't bother me, I feel self-conscious. But I think that height is not an important thing, and anybody who wouldn't date you because you are short isn't really worth your time anyway. (I'm 5'1")

--Jay

there are a ton of cis guys i know who are really really short. a kid i know is cis and had to wear lifts to be the lead guy in the high school play. he was still shorter then the female lead. also a guy i know who is a freshman in college who is like 5 feet tall and still rolls in girls.

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on November 29, 2013, 03:31:19 AM
Granted, I don't know this person - but anyone who is going to be so shallow as to let something like height affect their feelings for another person - then those feelings, IMHO, weren't genuine to begin with.

I don't understand people.  I understand being attracted to or not attracted to certain things, but if you genuinely love someone then those kinds of useless, shallow concepts fly out the window.

Obviously I don't know because I wasn't in the conversation, but I read that part as sort of joking, not as the woman would put an immovable limit at 5 foot. If she has then that's pretty daft, as some people look shorter and some look taller than they actually are. I look shorter than someone else here, but I'm actually marginally taller, and in photographs apparently I look really tall.

I'm the same height as you on my longer leg. There are men around my height at my school and they are just as "manly" everyone else.

I'm 5 Feet 3 Inches and I used to be really bothered by how short I am...

It took me a time to understand that there are lot of cis men that are just as short (and even shorter) than I am myself, so I know what it is to feel stressed for your height. Nowadays, if I start feeling bad about my heigh, I just jokingly tell myself that there are much less room for mistakes in a short guy - it actually helps me feel better and forget about my worries.

There are plenty of short cis guys; I realized that when I went to college. I always had a slight insecurity with my height, but I got over it when I realized how many short dudes there were and how it didn't inhibit them from dating, being attractive, being confident, etc.

If she doesn't like you for you, regardless of height then it wasn't meant to be, man.

I will say that you should be upfront with her about your height just in case it is an issue to her. She might feel lied to or catfished if you meet in person . . . Not trying to be mean, just being honest.

Best of wishes :) Dating is hard! Kudos for finding someone you're interested in.

Quote from: conformer on December 01, 2013, 11:07:37 AM
There are plenty of short cis guys; I realized that when I went to college. I always had a slight insecurity with my height, but I got over it when I realized how many short dudes there were and how it didn't inhibit them from dating, being attractive, being confident, etc.

If she doesn't like you for you, regardless of height then it wasn't meant to be, man.

I will say that you should be upfront with her about your height just in case it is an issue to her. She might feel lied to or catfished if you meet in person . . . Not trying to be mean, just being honest.

Best of wishes :) Dating is hard! Kudos for finding someone you're interested in.

This ^

Where I live I see short guys all the time, and I mean short (5' 4" or so). They're all over the place and are cis. And some people just like tall guys so you should tell her. If she rejects you then don't take it as a personal hit. It is a bit shallow but attraction is attraction. It doesn't mean there's a thing wrong with you, it just means you need to find a better, more deserving match for yourself.

This was posted on another site I am on.  It is off topic, but I thought some might want to read it.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/07/dressing-taller-short-men/