Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I miss the drunken parties I used to go to. I realize this isn't exclusively a male activity but I don't get invited to any anymore, so for me it was. You? Anything?

Nothing

Feeling safe when I get gas from a sketchy part of town.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 01, 2013, 10:15:24 PM
Feeling safe when I get gas from a sketchy part of town.

yeah that is a good one :(

Being able to better hide my Glock on my hip without it printing on my jeans or top, and being able to sit and not crush the cherries cuz of not crossing my legs.

I miss the nervousness, feeling of living a lie, acting alpha all the time..........UHHH, No! Do not miss a thing, especially with my Smith & Wesson M&P. *giggle*

Sexism is unpleasant when it comes up.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 01, 2013, 10:15:24 PM
Feeling safe when I get gas from a sketchy part of town.

It's interesting, because obviously before I used to have the fear of getting raped or sexually assaulted - I don't have that anymore, but now I feel like I may be a more appropriate target for something like mugging if I were in a situation like this.

Being able to roll out of bed 10 minutes before needing to catch the bus to work instead of 1-1.5 hours!

The short answer is.....No

The feeling of being safe in some places and/or at night... Otherwise nothing :)

I was scrawny as a male so I never really felt safe in the first place in bad areas, but I am definitely more defensive now and take way more precautions. Way more!

So I would have to say +1 to feeling safer in sketchy areas.

Um... no. I've been getting strange looks for looking weird/different since I was a child so I'm used to that. I don't go to strange places where there could be a chance of some sort of violence. Most women will not do this. Male privilege...pfft... I've never had that or certainly have not been able to take advantage of it. Some bodyparts are not yet formed and I'm working on ridding myself of another that I will not miss. The list goes on. Once I reach my goals, will I miss the dysphoria I had as a male ? Nope.

Just because you change gender doesn't mean you have to start competition flower arranging or taking an interest in sewing machines (though I have developed a fascination with them).

Pretty much all of the other things that I did living as male I still do except peeing standing up. (I don't miss that either)

I think that because we are all different and most things aren't gender specific these days, some you will miss things, others it's a case of minor adjustments or fine tuning and others will not miss a thing.

Not a thing, when I was male I felt like I was living a play. Like everything was an act, like I was just pretending. At all times, and I never understood why. It was horrible, I kept constantly trying to re-invent myself.

Now that I'm female, I'm damn sure of who I'm meant to be. It's just kind of ironic that that person is a tomboy.

I miss being able to go topless when it's hot. Other than that I don't miss a thing.

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on December 02, 2013, 05:20:24 AM
I miss being able to go topless when it's hot. Other than that I don't miss a thing.

Oh yeah... this one too :) I miss the opportunity to go to public swimming pools too.

Looking at the clock right now, I must agree with Kaylee!!!  :)

(I'm late! I'm late!  )

No.

Quote from: Bethany Dawn on December 02, 2013, 05:20:24 AM
I miss being able to go topless when it's hot. Other than that I don't miss a thing.

Bikini tops ftw!

I literally spent half the summer in denim hot pants and various flavour of red bikini (I LOVE red!) and plan to do the same next year - hopefully filling them a bit better though :)

just the "simpleness" of putting out a jeans and a t-shirt, a quick rinse on the face and I was out.

Now I have to plan 20 minutes in advance, as a minimum. But it's not really a "miss", I think it's a gain,
I love myself more.

Quote from: Kaylee on December 02, 2013, 03:27:07 AM
Being able to roll out of bed 10 minutes before needing to catch the bus to work instead of 1-1.5 hours!

This. Mornings were a lot simpler.

Safety doesn't feel much different. I always felt like a target even as a male. My male body didn't scare anyone.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 02, 2013, 06:43:43 AM
My male body didn't scare anyone.

Mine either. I'm naturally short and skinny. However for some reason I seem to attract more attention as a female. I can't recall ever being catcalled as a guy!

I'm not fulltime, so I don't miss anything yet nor does anything really come to mind.  However, I do worry about security.  I'm not one to fight back against an attacker nor do I feel confident that I could defend myself.  In the event that I needed to do so, I would be terrified.  That fear only increases as I transition because there is targeted violence against the lgbt community and the increased potential to face sexual assault.  Either way, I feel helpless, but I feel I'm more at risk when I go fulltime. 

Quote from: learningtolive on December 02, 2013, 06:56:43 AM
I'm not fulltime, so I don't miss anything yet nor does anything really come to mind.  However, I do worry about security.  I'm not one to fight back against an attacker nor do I feel confident that I could defend myself.  In the event that I needed to do so, I would be terrified.  That fear only increases as I transition because there is targeted violence against the lgbt community and the increased potential to face sexual assault.  Either way, I feel helpless, but I feel I'm more at risk when I go fulltime.

Scrapping isnt all its cracked up to be.  Get a 2 shot pistol and concealed carry.  It probably wont kill anyone, but itll scare the piss out of an attacker if he gets shot with one.

Quote from: Kaylee on December 02, 2013, 06:24:05 AM
Bikini tops ftw!

I literally spent half the summer in denim hot pants and various flavour of red bikini (I LOVE red!) and plan to do the same next year - hopefully filling them a bit better though :)

Next summer I will have a few bikini tops to choose from. I need my time in the sun. :)

umm...the only thing I'll mis is standing up to pee when I get srs lol

I miss being able to pick up an economy box of dish detergent without issues. Also the relative safety I left behind, and the ability to take greater temperature extremes without issue.
All nothing compared to what I gained, though. :)

I was a big, heavy biker looking man.  I happy that guy is gone forever.

I could say things like 'I'll miss not having to put myself together.' or anything along those lines but it all stems from being lazy and not caring about my body or appearance. Which is really lame. So no, I won't miss anything.

Good question.  I've been full time for 8ish months and if there was some aspect of dudeliness I still liked, well, I'd probably want to hang on to it.  I can't really think of anything that used to be better.

Roll out of bed, slap on a pair of sweatpants and a hat and walk right out the door? That would remind me of whom I used to be.  I am willing to get up earlier and make an effort, as it makes me happy to look the best I can now.  I was deprived of this forever.  There may be a day in the future when I love the way I look without makeup anyway, and this will be optional.   

Pee standing up?  Nope.  I don't miss cleaning up dribbles and having my wife complain about them.  Plus, potential dysphoria trigger.  I want it outta here yesterday.

I don't miss the wardrobe, and I had a thing for Armani and Varvatos.  Maybe if I really felt like butching it up one day?  Nah. 

Safety?  I don't go places that are sketchy anyway.

Muscle mass?  Still have too much.  I could still tear my brother's arm off armwrestling, and he works out.

Nope, I like love being a girl. 

Quote from: Jill F on December 02, 2013, 01:27:36 PM
Good question.  I've been full time for 8ish months and if there was some aspect of dudeliness I still liked, well, I'd probably want to hang on to it.  I can't really think of anything that used to be better.

Roll out of bed, slap on a pair of sweatpants and a hat and walk right out the door? That would remind me of whom I used to be.  I am willing to get up earlier and make an effort, as it makes me happy to look the best I can now.  I was deprived of this forever.  There may be a day in the future when I love the way I look without makeup anyway, and this will be optional.   

Pee standing up?  Nope.  I don't miss cleaning up dribbles and having my wife complain about them.  Plus, potential dysphoria trigger.  I want it outta here yesterday.

I don't miss the wardrobe, and I had a thing for Armani and Varvatos.  Maybe if I really felt like butching it up one day?  Nah. 

Safety?  I don't go places that are sketchy anyway.

Muscle mass?  Still have too much.  I could still tear my brother's arm off armwrestling, and he works out.

Nope, I like love being a girl.

*High-Five*  My sentiments exactly.  Although im living FT as a female now for only a couple weeks.  Waking up and making myself look good is a joy!  And man clothes simply lack options, i love options, and accessories(and shopping haha).

I haven't totally gone full time but I know the biggest ting will be security.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 02, 2013, 05:24:54 AM
Oh yeah... this one too :) I miss the opportunity to go to public swimming pools too.

Topless doesn't bother me, I have such a rare history of doing that I'm not concerned.
On the public pool thing, I do let it bother me, but not stop me. In general I just get my suit on in private, and bypass anything naked that way. I have used two piece suits just fine with a skirted bottom and some snug containment(a perfectly age appropriate thing for me.) I wouldn't even flinch in the future, when the time is right next summer.

I was about to say "not a thing", but that safety thing really is a point. The rest - nah. I can also go out in 10 minutes if I need to, though I'd rather not, I can go topless on a nudist beach :P and if I really want to I could get one of these pee-thingies to pee standing up, but there is not much point to that (although carying some paper towels at all times is a good idea now). I can, if I want to , do all kinds of things I would be able to do as a male I guess, though I must say I may not know all of them as I transitioned kind of early and may have missed some of those things or missed them becaus eI never was really part of that group - but even in that case I dont miss anything, no way. Even for the safety thing, I am aiming to learn some self defense and carry a pepper spray again... ;)

Having people listen when I talk... I was always shy and soft-spoken, but I didn't used to get ignored or talked over so much.

(OK, and that time I went for a long hike up a mountain and had to pee halfway down, I admit I missed the old plumbing. I made do, though.)

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on December 02, 2013, 07:06:32 AM
Scrapping isnt all its cracked up to be.  Get a 2 shot pistol and concealed carry.  It probably wont kill anyone, but itll scare the piss out of an attacker if he gets shot with one.

I respect everyone's second amendment rights, but I personally don't ever want to own a gun.  I'm not a fan of guns and don't like them around me.  Plus, it's just my personal opinion that carrying weapons can sometimes make a bad situation worse; however, I acknowledge that the issue isn't black and white, and I believe people should have the right to own a firearm  if they choose. It's just my own decision to not be a part of the gun culture because I'm not comfortable with it. 

I'm just going to have to be careful about walking at night and watching my surroundings.  I've had people watch me before and it was unsettling to say the least.  And I've been bullied in the past, so I'm aware how brutal people can be.  I wish I had a good solution other than be on the lookout, but I really haven't thought it through.  Well, I suppose now is better, so I ought to start thinking about it. 

Very close to the LGBT center last week a girl was hit with a bat from behind, robbed and raped. It was 7:00 PM. Safety is a real concern.

Quote from: Kaylee on December 02, 2013, 03:27:07 AM
Being able to roll out of bed 10 minutes before needing to catch the bus to work instead of 1-1.5 hours!

I think I'll miss this the most!

Nope.

QuoteBeing able to roll out of bed 10 minutes before needing to catch the bus to work instead of 1-1.5 hours!

Quote from: JaneNicole2013 on December 02, 2013, 08:36:00 PM
I think I'll miss this the most!

No way. I did that a couple of times. Its not the best thing to do but if needed - it just is a lot nicer to take at least like 30 minutes for that.

Oh and the downside is to make this work you need to have some of the things working out - facial hair has to be gone, HRT has to have done its work on the face (or FFS if needed).

Quote from: anjaq on December 03, 2013, 03:38:58 AM
No way. I did that a couple of times. Its not the best thing to do but if needed - it just is a lot nicer to take at least like 30 minutes for that.

Oh and the downside is to make this work you need to have some of the things working out - facial hair has to be gone, HRT has to have done its work on the face (or FFS if needed).

Oh, I know I won't be able to do that living full-time as a woman, but I'm still full-time as a male and it's an advantage I definitely enjoy now and will miss when I go full-time as a female!

Actually, safety and all the rest... screw that. I admit that I DO DO DO miss something from my previous life. It just hit me instantly today-  I was entering a shopping mall and saw a guy, who just left a bakery with a FRESH AND HOT AND CRISPY BAGETTE WITH CHEESE TOPPING and that stuff was still melting  and that dude was just biting big chunks of it and chewing them down... ARGHHHH!!!!!

Dammit!

Ah, yeah. Sorry for getting distracted. I miss my crazy metabolism, when I was able to exterminate all those yummy thingies without a second thought.
/me sighs

Ohh... Before you edited your post I thought you were implying that girls are not allowed to eat cheese covered pastries for some reason. :laugh:

Quote from: Miyuki on December 03, 2013, 06:49:11 AM
Ohh... Before you edited your post I thought you were implying that girls are not allowed to eat cheese covered pastries for some reason. :laugh:

None of the girls I know think that eating cheese covered pastries is a good idea. And now I know why ;(.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 03, 2013, 06:52:18 AM
None of the girls I know think that eating cheese covered pastries is a good idea. And now I know why ;(.

You don't live in the south, do you? lol

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 03, 2013, 07:05:17 AM
You don't live in the south, do you? lol

/me looks out of the window where small snowlakes twirl in the evening wind.

Nope, I guess not :)

The biggest thing I miss is jeans with usable pockets.  I've talked to plenty of cis-women with the same complaint.

Quote from: JaneNicole2013 on December 03, 2013, 06:11:30 AM
Oh, I know I won't be able to do that living full-time as a woman,

Why not? You think you really NEED that much in the bathroom in the morning to just go out of the door? I mean for a while yes of course, but with time and HT and electrolysis and such, it should become more something one wants to do instead of something one is obliged to do, right?

Quote from: anjaq on December 03, 2013, 07:59:17 AM
Why not? You think you really NEED that much in the bathroom in the morning to just go out of the door? I mean for a while yes of course, but with time and HT and electrolysis and such, it should become more something one wants to do instead of something one is obliged to do, right?

This is a good point.  I spend a little extra time drying my hair now that it's winter, but the rest of my morning routine is basically unchanged.

I haven't found that there is anything I regret not having to the point that I would say I "miss" it. For everything that I can no longer do (get ready quickly, lift grocery bags, etc), there is a compensating experience (looking like a well-put together woman, having a woman's physique, etc) that makes it preferable to the male experience. Not just a little but by far. Not just the crescent, but the whole of the moon.

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on December 03, 2013, 06:41:13 AM
Actually, safety and all the rest... screw that. I admit that I DO DO DO miss something from my previous life. It just hit me instantly today-  I was entering a shopping mall and saw a guy, who just left a bakery with a FRESH AND HOT AND CRISPY BAGETTE WITH CHEESE TOPPING and that stuff was still melting  and that dude was just biting big chunks of it and chewing them down... ARGHHHH!!!!!

Dammit!

Ah, yeah. Sorry for getting distracted. I miss my crazy metabolism, when I was able to exterminate all those yummy thingies without a second thought.
/me sighs

I started dieting well before transition, my BP was high, my cholesterols high, my SED rate was high, general inflammation was high. In short I was going to die at 45 if I didn't make a change regardless. So I really can't blame transition on having a restricted diet, it was coming up regardless.

Quote from: Anna++ on December 03, 2013, 08:02:28 AM
This is a good point.  I spend a little extra time drying my hair now that it's winter, but the rest of my morning routine is basically unchanged.

I took a good look at what the girls around me were doing.  All of them were, foundation,eyeliner. or Foundation eye shadow(skin tone type shadows.)  all of them dyed their lashes. Lip gloss and never lip stick if they wore it.   and hair done. Switched up my routine and made it twice as fast.

Clothing types were mostly jeans and a basic top.   Some girls wore dresses or skirts but not that many.(dont i have alot of free time?)  This is helping me blend in a little bit better and get it together quite a bit faster. I save the 2 hour extra done up for when i go out and im trying to look extra good #manhunt.


I think alot of cis women get away with wearing no makeup or very little(eyeliner only or light foundation) Tying their hair back with jeans and a shirt.  This is the beach though.

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on December 03, 2013, 02:53:29 PM
I think alot of cis women get away with wearing no makeup or very little(eyeliner only or light foundation) Tying their hair back with jeans and a shirt.  This is the beach though.

what do you mean by "getting away" in that context? I think I have not used foundation, eyeliner, lipstick or anything like that in years. Though recently I am not tying my hair back anymore and prefer a bit more feminine shirts - in part becaus eI like it (shirts) in part because I may get misgendered again (hair), though I am not sure if th elatter is true. Maybe its jus tme and its making me more comfortable...

Quote from: anjaq on December 03, 2013, 04:19:23 PM
what do you mean by "getting away" in that context? I think I have not used foundation, eyeliner, lipstick or anything like that in years. Though recently I am not tying my hair back anymore and prefer a bit more feminine shirts - in part becaus eI like it (shirts) in part because I may get misgendered again (hair), though I am not sure if th elatter is true. Maybe its jus tme and its making me more comfortable...

Still look good.  And in relation to, if i go out without makeup dressed like that. I'll get sired everywhere.  After a time though when you're through your transition im sure its real easy to do that.   Im not sure that will be an option for a couple years at least for me.

Quote from: anjaq on December 03, 2013, 07:59:17 AM
Why not? You think you really NEED that much in the bathroom in the morning to just go out of the door? I mean for a while yes of course, but with time and HT and electrolysis and such, it should become more something one wants to do instead of something one is obliged to do, right?

I was thinking in the context of going into work in an office setting and yes, I am looking very much forward to the entire routine :)

Just keep in mind that makeup is bad for your skin, so be careful with how much you use :)

Going to a barber shop getting a cheap hair cut and not having a ''bad hair day''
Now my hair is more expensive, no more cheap trims, with hair color, volumizing shampoo and conditioner, 3 different hairsprays, sometimes touching up with highlights, guys just don't have a bad hair day.

Quote from: pretty pauline on December 03, 2013, 05:19:01 PM
Going to a barber shop getting a cheap hair cut and not having a ''bad hair day''
Now my hair is more expensive, no more cheap trims, with hair color, volumizing shampoo and conditioner, 3 different hairsprays, sometimes touching up with highlights, guys just don't have a bad hair day.

You know it's funny. When I had a boys cut I always had to wet it down and "stick it" flat or it'd look unkempt. Now that it's long, the only thing I do every morning is brush it. Even when I miss doing that, I get by just fine. I do less with my hair now that I'm a girl than I ever did when I was a boy.

Quote from: Anna++ on December 03, 2013, 05:11:56 PM
Just keep in mind that makeup is bad for your skin, so be careful with how much you use :)

Our company policy is that women are actually required to at least wear a base amount of makeup.

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on December 03, 2013, 04:41:13 PM
Still look good.  And in relation to, if i go out without makeup dressed like that. I'll get sired everywhere.  After a time though when you're through your transition im sure its real easy to do that.   Im not sure that will be an option for a couple years at least for me.

Give it time. I can throw a brush through my hair, put on a bra, jeans, and a shirt and no one bats an eye. It comes with time, patience, and most of all confidence in who you are and what you're about.

Quote from: JaneNicole2013 on December 03, 2013, 04:55:02 PM
I was thinking in the context of going into work in an office setting and yes, I am looking very much forward to the entire routine :)

Well to go into an office setting - men and women alike have to do at least a bit more than 10 minutes from bed to doorstep :P - Its more a matter of the occasion than of gender, I think.

Regarding hair - many times I have had quite few issues with hair now. Brushing, taking a hair tie, pulling the hait back to a pony tail and done :P

As I had  dreadlocks right before transition, my change was a bit weird ;) - Of course having them gone, there was inevitably some more work (brushing mostly) but also some things were easier (those things are "dread"ful to get washed and dried)

Well, I definitely can roll out of bed and leave after just brushing my hair and teeth on weekends. :) I don't wear makeup 99% of the time, but I do get dressed up more for work and fix my hair nicer.

Quote from: Anna++ on December 03, 2013, 07:15:54 AM
The biggest thing I miss is jeans with usable pockets.  I've talked to plenty of cis-women with the same complaint.

This!!! The pockets on women's jeans seem like they're just for decoration sometimes.

Quote from: iconoclast on December 03, 2013, 11:41:40 PM
This!!! The pockets on women's jeans seem like they're just for decoration sometimes.

They are. In fact the pockets in the back help the jeans shape better to the butt.

I owe not having a state ID to the small pockets thing... A year ago when I began wearing womens pants I also wasn't comfortable carrying a purse, so the ID and bank card were just in the front pocket. Immediately I noticed iPhones were impossible to carry and two weeks later my ID slipped out of my pocket. Somehow managed to not lose my bank card.

Now I like having a purse or clutch. They are way better than pockets in the first place!!

Quote from: Jennygirl on December 04, 2013, 03:34:56 AM
Now I like having a purse or clutch. They are way better than pockets in the first place!!

Yup :)
Pockets are something that I thought I'd miss, but I'm really liking not having to transfer everything from one set of pants to another whenever I get changed!

Edit - And I wouldn't be able to get away with browsing this this!!! (https://www.etsy.com/uk/search/handmade/bags_and_purses?q=geek%20purse&view_type=gallery&ship_to=GB)

You know what works as a great pocket? The bra.

Nuh-uh. I miss nothing about it, it was awful!

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on December 04, 2013, 07:04:21 AM
You know what works as a great pocket? The bra.

I've found this as well :)

Yes I do on occasion miss the ability to have a conversation with a guy that is totally absent of any sexual interest in me. I miss being able to pee standing up on occasion when I am hiking or jogging.

Katie