Susan's Place Transgender Resources

do you tell your therapist every nook and cranny . I think as far as I know I talked about every that I am consciously  aware of. Although there are a few issues I haven't brought up yet. there incredibly sensitive and I've haven't had the courage yet.

I plan on (sadly for my therapist) unloading everything i can, everything.

I'm very lucky. My therapist is terrifically open minded, very knowledgeable about transgender and not at all into gatekeeping (unlike certain OTHER professionals I seem to keep end up seeing). I feel comfortable telling her anything.

I haven't told her my more outlandish sexual fantasies and fetishes, but I would if it were helpful.

However, I have confided that despite the fact that I've been living full time for months, I still don't "feel" like a woman. She told me that's what a lot of us feel and that as long as living as a woman feels more comfortable than living as a man (which it does), I shouldn't be concerned.

I would never tell that to someone I was concerned might be into gatekeeping.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 02, 2013, 12:11:29 PM
I haven't told her my more outlandish sexual fantasies and fetishes, but I would if it were helpful.

Yea i get ya there, though it's my view that everything can help even if it doesn't seem to.

I try to tell my therapist everything. When I first started seeing her I didn't talk about being trans or anything that was around that subject this went on for months and I didn't seem to make any progress feeling better about myself. I finally got the courage to tell her that I thought I was trans and she ended up specializing in gender identity disorders (it seemed like fate). After I told her this she said everything I had been talking about for months started to make sense and click into place. Since then we have had an amazing report and I have not felt the need to hide anything since. In my opinion you can't hide anything if you want therapy to work.

this all helps a lot. I first went to therapy because I couldn't handle the way I had lived my life for so long. The transgender thing just popped out one day  and that where its been at ever since

I used to not to, because, when I lived in Florida, I was under 18, and for minors, there is no doctor-patient confidentiality there. But now that I'm in Michigan, away from my family, I'm opening up. For nearly 4 years, I kept everything under lock and key, now my doctors know everything. Which could also be part of the reason why I'm being gatekept; like when I tell them when I'm dressing up I have unwanted erections (I think it's just my body's reaction to not wanting to be in panties) which for some may consider that dressing as a woman arouses me (not true as a whole, it's an unwanted arousal, and doesn't always happen) which, I guess, somehow signals that I'm not trans enough or something.
Looking back on it, if you think you may be gatekept, maybe it's a better idea to stay quiet on some things.

I told my therapist stuff that my own family doesn't know....especially my crossdreaming. I did find that being open with her about everything from my bipolar, my hallucinations, my paranoia, my doomsday prepping, my firearm collection, even my hobbies of hunting, fishing, 3 gun competitions and muddin have helped her not only better be able to help me deal with life on lifes terms, but also helps out a lot when the local army reserves post (less then 1/4 mile down the road) loads out and sends 15 vehicles past my property.

My therapist is not a gender therapist per se(he does a bit of everything, and im not the only trans person he sees).  I tell him everything, including if i used drugs of any kind.  Honesty is the best policy.

I go to a therapist that I trust and respect; therefore, I have no issues with disclosing anything and everything.  While I can't say that I have exposed everything about myself, I would be willing to do so and answer all of her questions with sincerity.  Sometimes that means that I must acknowledge that I don't know the answer.   I'm going to therapy for help and to work on myself.  Without full disclosure and honesty, it will be hard for a therapist to help guide me through my problems. 

Make sure you trust your therapist.  That's the most important part of the relationship you can forge.  If you trust her, don't be afraid to open up.  If you don't, then you may be better finding a therapist you feel more comfortable with.  Good luck!

I disclose everything except suicide thoughts, especially when they are intense (only 2 times very serious in 8 months and one time serious). The reason is that at the start of the interview session (she interviewed me to see if she would accept me as a client) she said she is obligated to report suicide (serious) to the police.

I told him everything. But then again, I really have no shame lol - I'm an open book and I don't care what anyone thinks because I know who I am and how I feel.

If you hold anything back from your therapist, you're doing yourself a disservice. They're there to support you and guide you through all the weird ways in which trans related issues can mess with your head and the things that most people hold back tend to be the stickiest wickets for them to accept about themselves.

If you don't trust your therapist with this kind of information, you probably aren't seeing the right person.

I can't tell her everything because there is not enough time, but I make a point to be completely honest with my therapist.  I think if you go to therapy you owe it to yourself to be honest and bring up any issues that you feel you need therapy on, anything important, if not you won't be getting good therapy...

It has helped me immensely putting everything out to my therapist. She is no gatekeeper and very supportive. Initially I didn't share but as I gained trust I shared more and more, now there is nothing I wouldn't share.

I think the more we talked the better my sessions have been. It's like anything the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.

I've been as honest as possible with mine and I think that's the best way to be about it. I have told her just about everything good and bad and that has built up trust between us as I can talk about myself without trying to think about saying the right things. Most of all it's been good for me to finally get all of this out and that has been exactly what I needed. A person who I could talk to who has experience with the issues I have that is also open minded and willing to give advise regardless if it is positive or negative as yeah she has given me some good reality checks along the way.

My therapist was very nice and easy to talk to. But when I first saw him, I told him right away that I was there to get a letter of recommendation to start HRT, and I was very confident in that decision. So he treated it right along like I merely had to be there a requisite amount of time to get it. For the first few sessions I just rambled on about my past and tried explaining how I know I'm trans and why I want to transition. So I told him everything that was relevant that I could think of. After that he gave me an actual outline of topics he's supposed to cover according to the standards of care (I guess). So we hammered through that, and at one point he got me looking at things from a different angle, which was nice. It's what got me more comfortable with being a transsexual and maybe not being as gender-conformist as I was. So even though I was mostly just there as a requirement, I still got something out of it. :)

I didn't really hold anything back, but she knew before our first session what I was there for. It was not somebody I was seeing and needed to come out to. So I didn't really need to hide anything and all of our sessions were trans related. Until I stopped needing to talk about that and laid out my crazy assed family drama, but by then it seemed like we weren't dealing with trans stuff and I was ready to move on. It wasn't really therapy in the sense that I felt relieved, often I felt worse, but it was more like life-planning and how to handle situations in the future. A lot of which I've still avoided...

Hi, I had not seen a psychiatrist or therapist in my life until I needed to address my Transgender issues. So I started with a lady therapist every two weeks about 2 years ago and it did feel strange initially to discuss my innermost thoughts and fears. While i felt the first therapist was really good and nice, some 8 months later I decided to consult another - this time a male. Both therapist are listed in this forum and have great reviews and they were both excellent. I honestly thought that a male therapist would not be as good but I tried him out. Well i decided to go with the male and have been talking with him bi weekly for around 15 months. With this person I have been able to be very open and we discuss everything. He is very experienced and he has not only been my therapist but my guide and I cannot believe that I have found someone so good. If you are paying for a therapist and you hide issues from him/her then you are not giving the information that is needed to fully understand yourself. I have zero stress in my discussions with him and I enjoy our open conversations.

I bared my soul.

I wanted and needed help.

It became very easy to do so and I got the help I needed.

To be honest I decided that since I was paying him for therapy I may as well get my money worth.

I realised quite quickly that he had heard far 'worse' from others than he had from me, it gave me the strength to follow my path.

Quote from: Willow on December 02, 2013, 01:37:43 PM
...if you think you may be gatekept, maybe it's a better idea to stay quiet on some things.

Indeed.

I'm fairly selective about what I say. I sifted through most of my other emotional cr@p years ago with a psychotherapist anyway, don't really need to go there again.

It depends on what I needed from them at the time. After my partners accident I needed help with this and not my TG feelings so dealt with this, it was life and death stuff :'(.
Only when I was ready to bare my soul did I bring up my other feelings which had been hidden for so long. This time I bared everything. It was hard but when I left I had no more secrets and it felt so empowering. It took a few sessions which I did warn her about before I could talk about it fully as I had an enormous amount of baggage that needed to be communicated. She understood and put in context why I sat on it so long.

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 03, 2013, 02:01:52 AM
Indeed.

I'm fairly selective about what I say. I sifted through most of my other emotional cr@p years ago with a psychotherapist anyway, don't really need to go there again.

How do you know if you're being gatekept?   I share everything when i go in, and i usually run double the alloted time for session lol.  My therapist says he will fill out a referall whenever im ready for it.  I almost feel like i should get it sent to the endo ill be using now along with my applications for when i have the money just in case lol.

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on December 03, 2013, 02:08:36 AM
How do you know if you're being gatekept?   

When a professional refuses, delays approval for treatment or hints at a possible refusal or delay.

Quote from: suzifrommd on December 03, 2013, 06:17:51 AM
When a professional refuses, delays approval for treatment or hints at a possible refusal or delay.

I just found out tonight, the endo my therapist wants me to go to, DR. Holt in raliegh is a well known gate keeper(and a harsh one at that) according to reviews ive read. I fairly certain i fit most if not all of the SoC right now though.   Still i wont waste 12 hours of driving on a visit that might now be fruitful due to gatekeeping.

I decided that since I would be paying a lot out of pocket for therapy and because I was already in such a mess with my life that I would simply spill my guts and let the chips fall where they may. My therapist is pretty blunt which I was looking for, and within 5 sessions we had worked through a lot of the mess that was my life and had gotten down to who I am. I left that session..... stunned. I don't always like the things that she tells me, but she has been right.on.the.money.every.dang.time.

The only things I haven't mentioned to her are things that I don't really feel are relevant, but if I'm ever asked about them I'll tell her.

I really look forward to our sessions now, and I'm strangely going to miss them when they eventually end.

You are only going to get out of therapy what you are willing to put into it.

Quote from: JRD on December 03, 2013, 07:40:12 AM
Try to get a local doctor to do your hormones if you can. Avoid Holt, too many tests, too low dosage and if you smoke, she will not prescribe, but with that said, you shouldn't smoke on hrt anyway. She is also not willing to listen much to you. Not really a patient friendly dr at all in my opinion.

I'm going to tell my therapist about this.  Everywhere i've read, Dr. Holt has pretty damn bad rep tbh.  I know there are better options in raliegh. Still a 6 hour drive ea way is too damn much.  Esp when i consider that i may leave the first visit with nothing.  I should be finished with cigs by the time i make it to a doctor.  I'm on week 2 of chantix, after this week, no more cigs weather i want them or not.

Quote from: Sophia Hawke on December 03, 2013, 08:05:40 AM
I should be finished with cigs by the time i make it to a doctor.  I'm on week 2 of chantix, after this week, no more cigs weather i want them or not.

Now there is some awesome news! Congrats!