Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My favorite part of the female anatomy is her breasts. I don't want that to change before or after my HRT. I still want to be attracted to women, although i don't mind having guys hit on me every now and then. I know every trans person is different, mtf or ftm, when it comes to hormones, but during HRT has anyone experienced a... uhh... sexual attraction without a change in orientation?

The ONLY thing i like about my male genitalia is being able to masturbate. I've been told quite a few times that i could masturbate with a neo vagina.

Sorry if I'm being inappropriate but i don't want my orientation to change on hormones

hhhm

Its wierd but ever sinve Ive started AA and E I feel more attracted to girls...could be just me ,,,

anyway I dont think it makes much difference eitherways,,,

There have been plenty of threads about this, I think I can say fairly safely that you needn't worry as HRT doesn't appear to change orientation for a large majority of trans people. And really, if it does change your orientation then you probably won't mind anyway. It's not like cis people don't change their sexual orientations.

Quote from: AnnaiyahStarr on December 17, 2013, 04:21:25 PM
My favorite part of the female anatomy is her breasts. I don't want that to change before or after my HRT. I still want to be attracted to women, although i don't mind having guys hit on me every now and then. I know every trans person is different, mtf or ftm, when it comes to hormones, but during HRT has anyone experienced a... uhh... sexual attraction without a change in orientation?

I'm not on hormones yet, but I don't expect it to change my orientation. Lots of MtFs that liked women end up still liking women. Sexual attraction and gender are separate things. And like Ms Grace said, if you do start liking guys, then you probably won't care. I also only like girls.

QuoteThe ONLY thing i like about my male genitalia is being able to masturbate. I've been told quite a few times that i could masturbate with a neo vagina.

I will miss that too. You don't have to get bottom surgery, especially if you have no interest in sex with men. I probably will, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. I'm not even on the highway yet. :)

If you sit and think about the whole situation, a lot of things are going to change. You will lose some things you like, and gain some other things.

What i neglected to say in the OP was that i never had sex before (I'm 23) and want to with a women. Plus I'm planning on running a Clips4Sale video studio so i can fund my surgeries... the fun way!

Ravenmoon, what did you mean by "bottom surgery"? If you meant vaginaplasty, i will have that done BUT i hope to still be attracted to women and masturbate... bodily discharge included.

Quote from: AnnaiyahStarr on December 17, 2013, 05:05:14 PM
What i neglected to say in the OP was that i never had sex before (I'm 23) and want to with a women.

Be aware that you are complicating finding a partner... but shouldn't be a problem for a young person like you. :)

QuotePlus I'm planning on running a Clips4Sale video studio so i can fund my surgeries... the fun way!

Cool!

QuoteRavenmoon, what did you mean by "bottom surgery"? If you meant vaginaplasty, i will have that done BUT i hope to still be attracted to women and masturbate... bodily discharge included.

Yes, I meant vaginoplasty.  As far as the masturbate and discharge part, others will have to answer.

From what I have been told and read.. some people end up with lower sex drives (because of the reduction in testosterone), but some are fine. Some have orgasms easily, and some don't.

What kind of bodily discharge are you expecting? You do realize that you will not be anatomically the same as a genetic woman down there, right? It's cosmetically and functionally close.

I mean this isn't something you can control.   Some people don't experience any change, some find they just shift a little down or up the kinsey scale, others change totally.  I am not 100% convinced hormones are behind the shifts that happen (I'm prob 85% convinced lol) because so many changes are happening on so many levels in your life all at the same time, not the least of which is simply being more honest with yourself.  It's impossible to not conflate things, or know where one thing's influence begins and the other's ends.

In the end though, if you don't have a partner, why does it really matter that much to you?   If when you are honest with yourself you like somebody you didn't expect, why is it bad?  Just go with imo.  This whole thing is about being authentic, so no need to fight anything.

I'm still attracted to women, even after HRT.  I'm more open to dating men if one manages to grab my attention, but that hasn't happened :). 

Most of the time I never hear about someone having an entire switch of their orientation - at most, I usually hear people become a bit more bisexual. So if you did end up with some attraction to men, you probably wouldn't lose your attraction to women, and nothing forces you to act on any new attractions that may pop up.

My orientation changed *slightly,* but I was bisexual before and I'm bisexual now (~4 years on HRT), still with a strong preference for women. My attraction to men went from maybe 10% of my perceived orientation to 20%, but that's it.

I liked guys before, I like them even more now and I feel liberated to date them now as I couldn't accept being Gay for some reason - no I have no idea why!! But being straight just seems OK.

The mind is a very strange thing!!

Quote from: Cindy on December 17, 2013, 06:19:15 PM
I liked guys before, I like them even more now and I feel liberated to date them now as I couldn't accept being Gay for some reason - no I have no idea why!! But being straight just seems OK.

The mind is a very strange thing!!

That makes perfect sense. I know I act differently when I'm dressed as a woman, and it's not acting, it's just things things I'm not comfortable doing when people see me as a man, but are perfectly acceptable otherwise.

So that's probably why some people change their sexual orientation after transitioning. It was always there, but masked or suppressed by them being uncomfortable about it.

My orientation is the same, but I've always been straight.  In some ways my emotional attraction to guys seems intensified, so my sexuality has only been reinforced from hrt.  I don't know if that helps.

One thing I would note is that hrt does have an impact on libido and things like that.  So if your sexuality and sex drive is very important, please realize that it will very likely impact that aspect even if it doesn't change your actual orientation.   

Quote from: AnnaiyahStarr on December 17, 2013, 04:21:25 PM
My favorite part of the female anatomy is her breasts. I don't want that to change before or after my HRT. I still want to be attracted to women, although i don't mind having guys hit on me every now and then. I know every trans person is different, mtf or ftm, when it comes to hormones, but during HRT has anyone experienced a... uhh... sexual attraction without a change in orientation?

The ONLY thing i like about my male genitalia is being able to masturbate. I've been told quite a few times that i could masturbate with a neo vagina.

Sorry if I'm being inappropriate but i don't want my orientation to change on hormones

No drugs, including HT, put thoughts into a persons head, they modify perception of what is already there.

i was worried the same as you but i found that instead of finding men attractive, now i just find them useful, lol i mean like a sexual interaction is a possibility, and i know there are still other ways to do it pre op but im sorry, im a lady that doesn't like it "that" way and it is degrading in my opinion, and trust me i have had plenty offers,

secondly your attraction to women will change, you will stop finding them attractive as a sexual object and start finding them attractive as a soul, for me it felt like before i was just lusting and now i am actually emotionally developed enough to love them, the way they look at me, the way they gently caress my skin, the way they sound when they are getting turned on.... one sec i am a little warm now, just deep breaths lol, my damn mind has so much control of my libido

Quote from: kiaraja on December 17, 2013, 09:39:12 PM...the way they look at me, the way they gently caress my skin, the way they sound when they are getting turned on.... one sec i am a little warm now, just deep breaths....

Oh, my, it's gotten warm in here!  :laugh:

You are so right though. It's actually the way I always thought about women... with the lust part mixed in... that part always got me in trouble.  :-\

Quote from: Cindy on December 17, 2013, 06:19:15 PM
I liked guys before, I like them even more now and I feel liberated to date them now as I couldn't accept being Gay for some reason - no I have no idea why!! But being straight just seems OK.

The mind is a very strange thing!!

Ditto only in the other direction. Gay was not me, but I liked girls before and still do.

Your orientation WON'T be changed by HRT.

If THAT were possible there wouldn't be NO gay men or lesbian women.
They would've  been 'cured' by testosterone or estrogen 'treatment' as has been tried before.

After 4.5 years on E, I have had a couple of epiphanies about my prior sexuality.  I did successfully father 3 children who are adults now, but as a female in temperament. Their mother was the more aggressive and dominant in that part of our relationship.  What the E ended up doing to me was explaining some of my earlier behavior and feelings about men in my early adult life.  I was having crushes on them, (poor fools) and did not want to admit it at the time.  My relations with women had been with two who were the "males" libido  wise in the story.  I married one of them wearing the wrong outfit. (She developed an MI and we divorced when she could no longer be safe with our children.)

Now that I am Post Op, and realize what the hell was happening, I wish I could get a male friend (it will have to be a friend before lover I have found about me) he is happily welcome to do the boy thing to little ole me.  My libido has gone up now that I am single hormone based with the E.

Everyone's reaction is somewhat unique I myself just became slightly more Bi While I sex drive dropped abit which will probably happen to you too. I haven't really lost anything as I still find women attractive. Another transwoman I know went from Bi to completely gay.

I think that this entire process makes you take down your walls and realize what you really want out of life.

I deemed myself straight as an arrow as a guy, but when I started breaking these barriers via therapy and now 48 days on HRT I realized that I have 0 sexual interest in women and can't wait until I look enough like myself to be with a man.

I don't think you need to let this stress you out. Be the best you that you can be regardless of how that is :)!

I don't know if being on hormones has much of anything to do with your own sexual orientation, maybe it changes it a little, as has been said before. Before I came out as trans, I was also a closeted bisexual. At that point I was about 80-20 in favor of girls, but now I'm probably more like 50-50. I have only been on hormones a month and a half (my sex drive has already come down more to a respectable level) :) Again, not sure if it was the hormones, but I was already drifting that way, and being able to come out now and be myself maybe opened me up in the sexual orientation department as well.

QuoteWhat i neglected to say in the OP was that i never had sex before (I'm 23) and want to with a women.
If you meant vaginaplasty, i will have that done BUT i hope to still be attracted to women and masturbate... bodily discharge included.

I never had sex before transition and that was at 23 too. But my "attaction" to women was mostly of the "I want to be her"-kind. I had 2 lesbian relationships post op, so I was attracted to women - I think they just make much better living partners than guys. I was in lesbian organizations and event organization as well. That said, I am confused and not really sure that I would say I would not mind about it, even though others have said that, but I keep having some surges of weird feelings towards men. Pre-transition I had it once only, later more often - some guys just come along, do some stuff with their hands and I am getting blood into body parts that I would not have thought would react to that. So I guess I am bisexual (probably like most people really) but I am thoroughly confused about it. I feel somehow that I might really want to try having sex with a guy but I cannot imagine really living together with one as a partner. I am not even sure about the sex part, maybe it is just fun in fantasy.

IF Hormones played a role in it - I dont know. Maybe they opened up some things, maybe they let me feel something more that I had not felt that much earlier, maybe it is more about transition than HT as I can now more openly imagine to be attracted to guys as well. Though its weird - I did not feel such an effect until years of being post-op

Dahlia : On the other hand, there's something I got out of HRT that gay cis people don't. :) Being treated as an attractive woman by a straight man is INFINITELY different from being treated as a desirable man by a gay man... which is where that extra 10% of attraction came from, in that now there's a few men I think are super hot and always have, but also a few who, when they *interact* with me in ways that prove they think *I'm* hot, can get my engine running a little.

(I'm married, so generally this attraction is theoretical and inside my head; there may be some light flirting, but there it ends.)

I don't believe anyone changes orientation based on HRT. Instead, I believe people stop lying to themselves. And believe me, we can lie to ourselves pretty convincingly. I know!

Quote from: LizMarie on December 18, 2013, 08:36:16 PM
I don't believe anyone changes orientation based on HRT. Instead, I believe people stop lying to themselves. And believe me, we can lie to ourselves pretty convincingly. I know!

I don't know about that.  I know people who were pretty openly gay and disgusted by men who found that changing with hormones.  Most of it probably is social and mental perception than a hormonal thing, but I'm sure hormones can play a role.  I've always been straight, but I have been extremely boy crazy (more so than ever) since I have started hrt.  It feels like it's been reinforcing my sexuality in a weird way. Then again, it doesn't work on gay people to convert, so it's a weird topic.  Maybe it hasn't been studied enough?  All I can say is follow your heart and love who you love.  There is nothing wrong with being gay, straight or bi.  Just be you.

For myself HRT has not changed my orientation whatsoever. Perhaps it has enhanced the emotions & I feel just more & more normal & relaxed. I consider myself a hetrosexual woman & fully enjoy relationships with hetrosexual type men.

HRT merely changed my perception of my sexual orientation. I was 'bi/pan' before, and still am. But I see men differently now that I see myself as a woman, and I'm more attracted to them than I was before. Since that was the more noticeable change, I thought 'oh noes, I'm straight!' but, my attraction to women took a bit more time to figure out and readjust to. It used to be an aesthetic focus, now it's more of an emotional/personality focus. No wonder it took longer! As a guy, fueled by testosterone, I was obsessed with breasts. Now, I like them but... I have them too. They're less of a focus and priority now.

So the major things that changed were just how I see myself with men or women, and what I look for in them.

Quote from: learningtolive on December 18, 2013, 09:02:07 PM
I've always been straight, but I have been extremely boy crazy (more so than ever) since I have started hrt.  It feels like it's been reinforcing my sexuality in a weird way. Then again, it doesn't work on gay people to convert, so it's a weird topic. 

Personally I think HT does something in our brains - For those born with a female  brain (read all of this vice versa for FtMs), the brain (and sexuality is staring there) has been deprived of the proper hormones for a long time. When that is set right, it does what it originally would have done. So if that brain is one of the 5-10% (?) homosexuals (which is IIRC the statistics for the general population), one still would be attracted to women, in the remaining 90% there might be some more or less strong sense of being bisexual (or being heterosexual). How well this plays out is probably also a social thing - if you have been married and with women all your life and transition later, you might not want to change that and thus not do it. If you are a teenager, you may just experiment and not be that influenced by social experiences in your past.

I find this a very interesting topic for me. Prior to starting on HRT (both times that I have transitioned) I have always been attracted to women, but all the women that I dated (and even in one case married), were women that I was attracted to , but secretly wished to be them as they were incredibly sexy and my image of what I wanted to be. Sporty, but really sexy especially in a bikini or in a nice dress. Sexually I was "lusting after them" but driven as a man full of T. Since being on Oestrogen my orientation has changed a little. Before it was 100% female oriented, but now I would probably admit to being 80% female oriented to 20% Male, since as my T levels have gone down and now Oestrogen is the dominant hormone in my body T less that 1 .

However I have found my attraction to other women dramatically changed in that  whilst I still see them as attractive as a sexual partner, these days what I want and which is now very important to me is to have  them as emotional partners. What I want and need is for them to be a soul partners. Now I want to be emotionally developed enough to love them and them to love me. I love the way a woman looks at me, the way they gently caress my skin, my thighs and especially my breasts and nipples. I love the way that women can linger over kissing all of the body , the way a woman sounds as they get turned on and can be gently brought to multiple orgasms.  In this way I find myself emotionally and sexually connected in a way that I wasn't before. What helps is that I now have this musky female smell about me and my partners tell me that I am definitely more female in touch, smell and sense. Lovemaking is now 1000% more sensual. Interestingly I have had a relationship with another Transsexual women (both of us pre-op) and whilst it didn't last it was very fulfilling at least for me. So I suppose I am traditional lesbian, but probably a lipstick femme, but I am definitely attracted to a soft butch woman. Not Butch dyke women at all.
Judith

Quote from: Madison (kiara jamie) on December 17, 2013, 09:39:12 PM
secondly your attraction to women will change, you will stop finding them attractive as a sexual object and start finding them attractive as a soul, for me it felt like before i was just lusting and now i am actually emotionally developed enough to love them, the way they look at me, the way they gently caress my skin, the way they sound when they are getting turned on.... one sec i am a little warm now, just deep breaths lol, my damn mind has so much control of my libido

Have you not read the rest of the thread? If she's attracted to women now, that's not likely to change..

Pre HRT: Guys did nothing for me.

Still on HRT/Post Orchi/GRS is never happening: Guys still do nothing for me.

Pre HRT 75% guy, 25% female sexually. Emotionally I connected with nice people. HRT 16 months 75% guy, 25% female and I connect with nice people. 

as a teenager, pre-HRT I was 100% into girls, I thought there was nothing that could change that, the male body, well it was a turn off. Into HRT that started to change, now the idea of me being with a woman is just the weirdest of many weird things I think of.

You may love the female form, hrt does funny things, for many it will never change who they'll like to bed, but for some it opens new doors and closes others.

Sexual orientation does not change in anyone. The only thing that changes is that one does not consciously or unconsciously suppress it anymore. How we are socialized early on tends to cognitively force suppression whether or not we realize it; especially if one is raised in a family where anything GLBT is a grievous wrong. People that were hardcore "straight" people prior to transitioning will eventually become more comfortable with who they are which may break down the mental walls suppressing their sexual orientation. During this process they think HRT "changed" their sexual orientation, but all doesn't. The only thing that changes is self-acceptance.

Quote from: Nicole on September 30, 2014, 10:36:38 PM
as a teenager, pre-HRT I was 100% into girls, I thought there was nothing that could change that, the male body, well it was a turn off. Into HRT that started to change, now the idea of me being with a woman is just the weirdest of many weird things I think of.

You may love the female form, hrt does funny things, for many it will never change who they'll like to bed, but for some it opens new doors and closes others.

HRT may do funny things, but one thing it doesn't do is change your sexual orientation - otherwise hormones would be a 'cure' for homosexuality and it isn't. Ask Alan Turing.

I think if you have the right body and feel youtself attractive in your own gendered sexual body, this certainly has an effect on how you interact with others as potential partners. It cannot create an attraction but it can vastly increase it. I believe all people are bisexual, but in many it is like 99% preferrence towards one gender. I think to have the proper body may change some things - it may be a lot harder to relate to a man in a relationship when your body still is male - if you are heterosexual in other words but would have to do a gay relationship ? I think this may be a blocker for some... that is ended when transition happens.

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 01, 2014, 01:39:04 AM
HRT may do funny things, but one thing it doesn't do is change your sexual orientation - otherwise hormones would be a 'cure' for homosexuality and it isn't. Ask Alan Turing.

I never said it would it, I said it can, but it'll be a driving factor in doing so.
For me I believe that it played a big part, I can tell you before HRT there would have been no way in hell of me even holding hands with a male, but as hormones did their work, I started to really see myself as the female I was feeling and socially I found males more less of a turn off and more a turn on.
I had my SRS at 21, I've slept with 1 female since then, I've been with many men and even had loving relationships with some. Without ruling it out, I couldn't see myself with a female again.
I put this down to a number of things, one that I believe was hormones.
As for curing homosexuality, you can't cure what is not an illness.

Quote from: Nicole on October 01, 2014, 05:04:23 AM
I never said it would it, I said it can, but it'll be a driving factor in doing so.
For me I believe that it played a big part, I can tell you before HRT there would have been no way in hell of me even holding hands with a male, but as hormones did their work, I started to really see myself as the female I was feeling and socially I found males more less of a turn off and more a turn on.
I had my SRS at 21, I've slept with 1 female since then, I've been with many men and even had loving relationships with some. Without ruling it out, I couldn't see myself with a female again.
I put this down to a number of things, one that I believe was hormones.
As for curing homosexuality, you can't cure what is not an illness.

So what you are saying, is that in the process of transition and growing in to yourself, you accepted that you were a straight woman. That's great. Doesn't mean it was the hormones - in fact the science, such as there is, suggests that the hormones were not causative. I wasn't suggesting that homosexuality was an illness, hence the use of 'cure', what I was suggesting was that there is evidence to support the idea that hormones do not cause a change in sexual orientation.

Pretty much is a "Deal With it Thing". This is one of the threads that keep popping constantly. I prepared myself to try and accept that things could change... I developed a Sexual attraction to men withot losing the one I had for women, but just sexual. I can't stand them, and a serious relationship is impossible for me with them. Regarding the sexual practices preferences, I was a switch before, so things are the same on HRT: I prefer to be a bottom, I can work as a top without having a mental dysphoric breakdown.

So basically. I gained an additional sexual orientation, just sexual. Emotional and Romantical stuff remained the same, women only. The rest is still the same.

Quote from: Nicole on September 30, 2014, 10:36:38 PM
as a teenager, pre-HRT I was 100% into girls, I thought there was nothing that could change that, the male body, well it was a turn off. Into HRT that started to change, now the idea of me being with a woman is just the weirdest of many weird things I think of.

You may love the female form, hrt does funny things, for many it will never change who they'll like to bed, but for some it opens new doors and closes others.

YES!

Quote from: Nicole on October 01, 2014, 05:04:23 AM
For me I believe that it played a big part, I can tell you before HRT there would have been no way in hell of me even holding hands with a male, but as hormones did their work, I started to really see myself as the female I was feeling and socially I found males more less of a turn off and more a turn on.
I had my SRS at 21, I've slept with 1 female since then, I've been with many men and even had loving relationships with some. Without ruling it out, I couldn't see myself with a female again.
I put this down to a number of things, one that I believe was hormones.

and Yes! SAME for me. +1

I personally found that having the new female social role wound up shifting me more than the hormones. Like, at one point everyone began seeing me as only female, so now there's the shift in mentality where I find it weird to see other women as more than friends, unless they're super highly attractive.

I dated a lot of girls, but even then I'm hesitant to identify as bi simply because right now I just want to be with guys. Also wound up getting a boyfriend somehow, and it feels completely different in a way I'm really liking, so it's kind of hard looking back now. Things just feel better and more fun right now, for whatever reason, and where I never could imagine finding a guy attractive now I find myself feeling dazed and warm (in a really really good way) just from looking at him. It's a weird thing, life.

Still attracted to women... I did lose almost all my sex drive and I've grown to dislike my penis, which when I started HRT I was ok with. I did find out I'm attracted to some trans women, while before I didn't consider the option. I found out I could enjoy a kiss from a somewhat feminine looking man. Still, I don't find myself looking for men, and I don't want a relationship or sex with a man. Men hit on me online, I'd say about once a month but I don't give a damn. I have a girlfriend for 7 months and started HRT 9 months ago.

Such an old topic...

Well, I'm bored. I guess I'll chime in.

My opinion on the whole HRT changing sexual orientation thing is that the hormones themselves don't change it, but rather the shift in perspective that comes along with transition for some people. When you start thinking of yourself in a radically different way, you may start seeing other things differently as well, and you may find you're suddenly open to attractions and experiences you may not have been open to before.

I suddenly have this twisted alternate past where I used to be a lesbian. And I have to go with that and adapt it to my persona. I live with my boyfriend and three male roommates that I'm stealth to, so it can get really weird talking about past relationships. Went from being a straight guy to bi to pansexual, then pansexual female who used to be a lesbian but I'm 'trying guys again'...So strange...

My approach to the whole thing was simply it either will change or it won't. I mean it would be statistically advantageous to be bi in  potential sexual partners but, that didn't happen I am attracted to women and I am fine with being a lesbian. If I were attracted to a man, I would be fine with dating him too...why miss out on someone who might make you happy?

I am noticing though, it almost seems like my attraction was strengthened towards women after HRT. I also find myself attracted to different sorts of women than I was prior to HRT...since I have increased my estrogen dose, it has had a noticeable impact on this. I found myself "checking out" this woman I was near when I was grocery shopping the other day, and not only was she totally not the type I would have gone for previously I haven't done that in like years and I did caught myself doing it, without thinking about it.

I wouldn't have anticipatedy reactions to HRT and I think it is best to just try and go with however you feel. In any case I have been single for like a year now, so my worries are now much more "is any woman even willing to on a date with a transwoman?" Lol, so my orientation just isn't really my biggest concern.

No change so far... I still love humans..... although I must confess a weakness for Danish Cookies !

Quote from: peky on October 07, 2014, 05:53:21 PM
No change so far... I still love humans..... although I must confess a weakness for Danish Cookies !

Love those!!!  I have to avoid the bakeries every time I visit Solvang, where they sell them by the tub.