Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello,
for the ftms here who aren't transitioning with testosterone, do you use the mens bathroom? If so, do you ever run into any problems? Also is it "legal" to do this? 

Its not illegal.

Hi, I have only just started testosterone but I have been using men's bathrooms for almost a year now and have never had any problems. It is legal in most places, but you'd have to look at your own state/country's legislation to know for sure.

If I wasn't at a stage where I would pass most of the time then I'd only use the men's bathroom if I were 100% sure it were safe, but that is just my preferences. I am very lucky in that even before T I never had any issues passing (although I did look a bit younger).

As for tips, if you aren't sure if it is safe, disabled toilets are your friend and you are perfectly in your rights to use them. If you want to use the gents but are a bit unsure then walk straight in, straight to the stool, do your business, and get straight out (bring hand sanitizer and use that after). Also, so many guys get worked up about using the stalls, toilet paper, making the wrong sound from urinating from the wrong height, and are worried about bathrooms even if they pass 100%. In reality, heaps of cis guys are "pee shy" and use the stalls, and even use a bit of toilet paper to clean things up at the end. Also, guys use the toilets for going to the toilet and are only bothered with that, you are less likely to be clocked in the toilet because people see what they want to see, and, finally, nobody is listening to you pee.

Well depends on how "passing" (I hate this word but...) you are. And it depends on the amt of acceptance there is where you are. i know of a lot of butch lesbians who use the men's room and will be kicked out of the women's room. I wouldn't have been nor felt comfortable pre-T, but I didn't "pass" at all. But some guys will be read as male 100% of the time pre or not on T.
I don't think anybody is going to haul you over for breaking the law but in the extreme unlikeliness that anyone questions you (never been questioned, even when I was read as male only about half the time) you wouldn't be able to prove  yourself.
I just doubt it would happen.

--Jay

if i ever again get into a situation where theres a long line in front of the women's bathroom and none in front of the men's, i will probably walk into the place with less waiting time no matter what i present as at the time. you shouldn't get in trouble as long as you just mind your own business pretending you're the only person there, unless there are actual laws against it where you live.

i do know stories of women who have safely entered the men's restroom, done their business, and left. stories i heard from men who were there to see it, and be too baffled to even think of questioning them about anything. most guys would probably rather pretend that isn't happening when they see a woman in the wrong place (what if it turns out to be a crossdresser, or just a super feminine guy, or... there should be more than enough fears to stop a guy from meddling. you wouldn't want to be interested in anything that enters the men's room, with the danger of being taken for being gay).

you're more likely to be violently thrown out of the women's restroom if you pass too well as a guy.

Etiquette of the men's room is entirely different than the women's room. The reasons for this are all kind of sick-- to either prevent incidents in the women's room or to prevent being attacked by homosexuals in the men's room. See sick. But women need to watch stuff so there is a lot of talking and looking around. IN the men's room you go in, don't look at anybody, don't talk to anybody, and leave. So I don't know if men have ever read me as a female or not, as I never had enough eye contact with anybody to find out. I actually had one little exchange of conversation (about a child strangely) in the men's room ever and it just about bowled me over. It's rare. Yes there are many times when women have gone into men's room without incident, usually when there is a long line or something.

--Jay

As someone who grew up using men's rooms, I have to agree with Aleon about guys not conversing or looking at each other. Lots of women could have walked past me in the mensroom, because I never really looked at anything but what I was doing and quickly left. I'd say as long as you look reasonably masculine and just go about your business, nobody's likely to notice you at all. I suppose if you wore a pink dress and lingered in front of the mirror smearing lipstick, you'd get some attention, but even then I'm pretty sure most guys would just walk out and not say anything.

~ Lyric ~

I'm just starting to use the men's rooms, and it freaks me out every time even though I know I'm the only person who cares, and that it's better than going in the ladies' where I get angry looks.  I need to suck it up and just go to the gents' every time, but I remain a giant coward...

Thank you for the replies everyone. I guess it's best to not make any eye contact and mind my business. The thing is, I don't care if I "pass" or not but I still consider myself male.

I am pre t and use the men's all the time with no problems just walk in do your business and leave, very little if any talking goes on in there.  I see many men using stalls standing to pee.  I want to try using my STP in a stall to see how it will work; at least then I wouldn't sitting every time.

Quote from: verkatzt on December 21, 2013, 12:44:03 PM
I'm just starting to use the men's rooms, and it freaks me out every time even though I know I'm the only person who cares, and that it's better than going in the ladies' where I get angry looks.  I need to suck it up and just go to the gents' every time, but I remain a giant coward...

Same here!!!!

If you want to be one hundred percent sure you're passing, be sure to cause mischief in the bathroom. Piss on the floor, flush the toilets until they over-flow, and when some guy is taking a dump, turn off the lights on your way out.

Here's a great one I once read in Thrasher Magazine. Sneak a can of Spaghetti-ohs into the bathroom. Walk by a guy at a urinal, and toss the Spaghetti-ohs into the urinal. Shout out, "Look everybody! This guy's pissin' Spaghetti-ohs! Whowantstodance?!"