Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,
This is the time of year when loneliness tends to take its toll...

I posted something on loneliness in the Buddhist section

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,155071.0.html#msg1306605

From a Buddhist perspective, understanding/experiencing  anatta (no-self)  brings  a deep sense of contentment whether  in company  or alone..."There nobody home to experience loneliness-so to speak"

So how do you non Buddhists  cope with loneliness ?

I guess for many, the simple fact that one talks 'openly' about it, may help in some way...

Bearing in 'mind' loneliness is just a 'state of mind'...

Season's greeting !

Metta Zenda :)

This is a new topic for myself to have to deal with. I have had quite a lot happen to me this year since deciding the time was right to transition after trying to please everyone else, but myself all these years. I used to escape into my career to deal with these feelings as I met a lot of new people and could drop by the hospital E.R.s and hang around. Being forced into retirement due to injuries in the line I am trying to find another way to deal with it, but have not been successful yet. I will watch this topic and try to see how others deal with this. Thanks for posting it. Hopefully I will get some good ideas from it!

I have been so lonely that I hid in booze to protect myself. Of corse it failed. I decided to tackle my loneliness by helping others who were worse off. So I did the soup kitchens, the charity stuff, the suicide help lines. I was still lonely but I understood it and in understanding came acceptance of reality. We are all lonely, we are because we do not share, so I share my life, my money, my time, my grief, my rage anger and despair.

Quite suddenly and with no reason I was no longer lonely. I was alone but not lonely, I had others who were, who needed love. That is something I have in abundance, because I had never given any away. I had an untapped reservoir. For some reason the more I give away, the more I receive.

I am no longer lonely, I have a world that is waiting for me everyday.

I'm not a nice person, I can never repay the hurt I have given out. But I'm a better person than I was. And I'm no longer lonely.

I do not get lonely. I have never especially enjoyed the company of others and prefer solitude. In fact, when I began my transtition I moved far away, into the wilderness essentially and often do not see or speak to another human being for days at a time. I enjoy my own thoughts and contemplations.

I embrace loneliness,it is a part of my character.I realised as a kid I would never fit in with any group,even the outcasts.

You too? Same for me. Never really fit in and wasted a life time trying to. It made me into a good actor though but its more pleasant just being me.

I'm a loner by preference also. Being alone and loneliness are not the same thing.

Quote from: big kim on January 06, 2014, 05:46:09 AM
I embrace loneliness,it is a part of my character.I realised as a kid I would never fit in with any group,even the outcasts.

Me too. It's kind of frustrating now talking to people who claim to have been outcasts because I want to point out that I was the one them and their friends would have rejected. I'm still at the point where I do want people around despite everything, but I'm young and I imagine I'll get passed it eventually.

I enjoy the company of people to a point. But even if it is people I like I find I get easily fatigued and withdrawn if can't have time to myself. I'm generally fine with my own company and rarely feel lonely when by myself. If I do feel alone I try reaching out to a friend or family, or busy myself with some artwork or a movie, not dwelling on it is the key for me.