Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well I had a tiny crush on my friend but unfourtunately I kinda gave up because she doesn't really see me as a guy and I have a feeling she thinks I'm weird like everyone else, I guess she's talking to some other guy like all the other girls have done me so I feel like their is no point really in trying but I should have known that was gonna happen, But...Theirs this other girl who goes to my school and she's cute and I wanna get to know her and one of the members from my dance crew dated her and he's trying to get us together thing is she believes I'm a biological male she's a freshman and I'm a Jr when do I tell her I'm trans this is the part where I start wishing I was a biological male because I hate having to explain my situation to everyone especially girls, Because its been bothering me and I'm tired of rejection

Personally I wouldn't give the first girl anymore thought. But I'm 25 and have been living full time for years. From what it sounds like you're still in high school, if so kudos for have the balls to be out at that age, I didn't.
I'd hangout with the second girl outside of school. I also like to know how they feel about gay people. Mostly because if they don't like gays then the girls more than likely don't like trans either. If she's gay friendly she might be open minded enough. I came out to my last girl friend after months of hanging out by showing her my I.D. which still doesn't have my male name or gender marker on it.
Rejection sucks and talking about being Trans sucks, but honestly you'll never know unless you talk to her. Just give it time before you do to find out if she's accepting and worth the knowledge of your situation.

Quote from: assorted_human on December 25, 2013, 03:07:54 AM
Personally I wouldn't give the first girl anymore thought. But I'm 25 and have been living full time for years. From what it sounds like you're still in high school, if so kudos for have the balls to be out at that age, I didn't.
I'd hangout with the second girl outside of school. I also like to know how they feel about gay people. Mostly because if they don't like gays then the girls more than likely don't like trans either. If she's gay friendly she might be open minded enough. I came out to my last girl friend after months of hanging out by showing her my I.D. which still doesn't have my male name or gender marker on it.
Rejection sucks and talking about being Trans sucks, but honestly you'll never know unless you talk to her. Just give it time before you do to find out if she's accepting and worth the knowledge of your situation.

Well I mean the first girl is nice I'm not knocking her for not fully understanding because she did I do believe I'd have a shot, But She's talking to some other guy anyways if I had been born biologically male I would have told that I'm interested that's the that fustrates me, Having to hold back feelings and seeing some other nice looking guy come steal the girl you want this has happend numerous times, I hate rejection or having to hide stuff , With the second girl she seems nice and is so Ive been told, But my thing is everyone has different views I don't go off of if she's cool with gays she's cool with me, Trust me I know plenty of people who are happy and fine with gays but look at me like I'm crazy and vice versa, So just because some people are cool with gays doesn't mean their cool with trans people and again vice versa, I go off of  understanding,listeners, I can't hang out with her outside of school unless she meets my parents then she's gonna figure it out because my mom is not accepting and then the girls parents are gonna know my birth name and all, Wich everytime I tell a girl before hand she never can see me as a bf so I'm doing it differently this time

Hey man. I know your pain , eventually when you are out of high school and on your own (at least for me) it gets easier. When I met my current gf ( we been together almost 2 years ) I was living full time as male. So the fact that this new girl already sees you as male is great. Get to know her first before bringing her home and stuff. You don't have to disclose what's in your pants the first day of meeting someone. But it would also be annoying to bring her home and having her find out that way . So test her out first. See if you actually like her, have the same interests ect... Maybe you might find she is accepting. Or maybe you will find she is just without knowledge. My gf only ever dated cis-men before me and never any woman and came from a small town. She just didn't know she was accepting because she was ignorant of trans people. So test the waters out first see where it goes.

Quote from: thatboyfresh on December 25, 2013, 01:32:41 PM
Hey man. I know your pain , eventually when you are out of high school and on your own (at least for me) it gets easier. When I met my current gf ( we been together almost 2 years ) I was living full time as male. So the fact that this new girl already sees you as male is great. Get to know her first before bringing her home and stuff. You don't have to disclose what's in your pants the first day of meeting someone. But it would also be annoying to bring her home and having her find out that way . So test her out first. See if you actually like her, have the same interests ect... Maybe you might find she is accepting. Or maybe you will find she is just without knowledge. My gf only ever dated cis-men before me and never any woman and came from a small town. She just didn't know she was accepting because she was ignorant of trans people. So test the waters out first see where it goes.

Yea that's what I was gonna do was get to know her first and let her know if thngs were to get serious , How did your gf start to understand you and when did you tell her if you don't mind me asking?

Quote from: Brandon on December 25, 2013, 01:51:56 PM
Yea that's what I was gonna do was get to know her first and let her know if thngs were to get serious , How did your gf start to understand you and when did you tell her if you don't mind me asking?

For me the worst senerio happened. She found out "by accident" when someone called for me for my pass port before I could tell her myself. We had been dating for 8-9 months and I just didn't know how to bring it up to her out of being rejected. I wish I would have been able to tell her instead and I regret that. Needless to say she was okay with me being trans but she was not okay that I kept it from her for so long. And I understand that from her point of view. But since she first saw me and accepted me as male from day one it didn't change her opinion of that. She gradually started asking questions about T, surgery and all that. She was really supportive and just wanted to see me happy. Now she comes to all my shots and appointments.  I know I am lucky to have found someone so open minded and you have to realize that not everyone will be. But also know that it is 100% possible to find someone who accepts you as you are and stuff. Go look on tumblr and you'll see so many happy couples!

If you feel up to it, I'd definitely take a chance of telling her how you feel. You might be surprised. I had a girl who is straight (was only with cis men before me, and only with cis men after me) interested in me, before I started physical transition. She told me it was never weird for her. The only thing that was weird for her was when people saw us as lesbians out in public. But it was because of the dirty looks we got, it made her angry and sad because she didn't think anyone deserved that when they were just going out trying to live life. I know she saw me for who I am.

Quote from: thatboyfresh on December 25, 2013, 02:26:14 PM
For me the worst senerio happened. She found out "by accident" when someone called for me for my pass port before I could tell her myself. We had been dating for 8-9 months and I just didn't know how to bring it up to her out of being rejected. I wish I would have been able to tell her instead and I regret that. Needless to say she was okay with me being trans but she was not okay that I kept it from her for so long. And I understand that from her point of view. But since she first saw me and accepted me as male from day one it didn't change her opinion of that. She gradually started asking questions about T, surgery and all that. She was really supportive and just wanted to see me happy. Now she comes to all my shots and appointments.  I know I am lucky to have found someone so open minded and you have to realize that not everyone will be. But also know that it is 100% possible to find someone who accepts you as you are and stuff. Go look on tumblr and you'll see so many happy couples!

Yea I'm not the type of guy to keep that hidden I try to stay as faithful and honest as possible, But atleast you have a woman who is accepting of you thats good

Quote from: Brandon on December 25, 2013, 02:46:06 PM





Yea I'm not the type of guy to keep that hidden I try to stay as faithful and honest as possible, But atleast you have a woman who is accepting of you thats good

Well in my defense I wasn't being disshonest. I am a man, just with some birth defects. But it is hard for some cis-people to understand that.

Quote from: thatboyfresh on December 25, 2013, 03:23:35 PM
Well in my defense I wasn't being disshonest. I am a man, just with some birth defects. But it is hard for some cis-people to understand that.

No no I meant telling her I'm trans, Especially before getting to intimate, Before getting serious because she may be expecting what's not yes we are men with l birth defects I feel our gf/wives should know before getting to serious

Quote from: caleb. on December 25, 2013, 02:34:50 PM
If you feel up to it, I'd definitely take a chance of telling her how you feel. You might be surprised. I had a girl who is straight (was only with cis men before me, and only with cis men after me) interested in me, before I started physical transition. She told me it was never weird for her. The only thing that was weird for her was when people saw us as lesbians out in public. But it was because of the dirty looks we got, it made her angry and sad because she didn't think anyone deserved that when they were just going out trying to live life. I know she saw me for who I am.

I know their are some girls who are willing, I just pray she's the one

Quote from: caleb. on December 25, 2013, 02:34:50 PM
If you feel up to it, I'd definitely take a chance of telling her how you feel. You might be surprised. I had a girl who is straight (was only with cis men before me, and only with cis men after me) interested in me, before I started physical transition. She told me it was never weird for her. The only thing that was weird for her was when people saw us as lesbians out in public. But it was because of the dirty looks we got, it made her angry and sad because she didn't think anyone deserved that when they were just going out trying to live life. I know she saw me for who I am.

That's pretty much the case with me and my ex. She's straight, but knowing I'm Trans didn't change that her feelings for me. However, she never went to public places in our area with me because she was afraid of being seen as a lesbian. And if we did go out then it was in friend mode. Which was really kind of ->-bleeped-<-ed up, because I needed her to not care since sometimes I don't want to leave the house because I'm not passing enough. So even if they are open they might still have a problem being seen with you as a couple. But I was the one that got the ball rolling in our relationship. And it was nerve wracking!
I'm not docking you going for straight girls though. I wouldn't date a girl that isn't straight (maybe bi).

Quote from: assorted_human on January 14, 2014, 09:36:01 PM
That's pretty much the case with me and my ex. She's straight, but knowing I'm Trans didn't change that her feelings for me. However, she never went to public places in our area with me because she was afraid of being seen as a lesbian. And if we did go out then it was in friend mode. Which was really kind of ->-bleeped-<-ed up, because I needed her to not care since sometimes I don't want to leave the house because I'm not passing enough. So even if they are open they might still have a problem being seen with you as a couple. But I was the one that got the ball rolling in our relationship. And it was nerve wracking!
I'm not docking you going for straight girls though. I wouldn't date a girl that isn't straight (maybe bi).

Well I look good as a guy, And when I'm in public thats what people see me as only male, so thats not a big deal, This girl seems really nice, I will never know if I don't try