Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Lesley_Roberta on December 27, 2013, 09:16:19 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Inescapable life stages
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 27, 2013, 09:16:19 AM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 27, 2013, 09:16:19 AM
We all began as unprogrammed helpless infants.
We will all end up almost as helpless if we live long enough.
We all have the chance to be ignorant and young, clueless and without wisdom gained from experience.
As we get older, we tend to get set in our ways, stubborn even and in too many cases we suffer from habits that get increasingly harder to break.
Those of us that make it to 30 experience what it feels like to no longer be a frantic young adult seeking for something to accomplish.
Those of us that make it to 40 experience the first stages of life telling you that you are no longer young.
Then 50 arrives, and they start to tell you that you have nothing wrong with you, you are just getting older.
60 arrives and you start to slow down in almost every way. You start thinking in terms of what to do with your last years.
70 and 80 look about the same. And you start to notice you are becoming more and more alone, as more and more of the people you grew up with are increasingly no longer alive.
I have seen the stages my mother have gone through, and she is now 80. She wears adult diapers, she is more baggage now than now in the same way an infant is something to carry. In her case she needs a stroller and you simply don't expect her to move very fast.
90 somethings do exist, and in some cases they are still quite active. So what, that's like saying some 20 year olds are drop dead gorgeous, but they are not the norm.
The above stages come to ALL of us, and it is not relevant if you are TG or something more boring.
So much of my life, it is inescapably tied to life stages I am NOT going to be getting away from.
My mother does not wear make up. Too much fuss, too little reason for it. She has a face that has 80 years on it, and a lot of beauty products were made for the young.
But she does enjoy her weekly visit to the salon. Ok the fact that she can't wash her own hair because getting in the tub is beyond her mobility is the main reason. But she enjoys looking 'presentable' as any woman might.
I hate it when my hair is not presentable too. I am not sure I really NEED make up beyond covering up the shadow. I am no spring chicken either.
She likes a bit of jewellery, but it is rare she has a day where there is any need of it.
I am only slightly ahead of her in this reality.
It is true, I wish I could wear a sexy bikini at the beach. I also wish I could look like a teenager too I suppose. Nope, not going to happen.
My mother never goes swimming due to bladder grief. She has no need of a swim suit. Me, well aside from the local pool there simply is no where for me to go swimming. There are no beaches in reach and I am not going to expend effort getting to the few lame beaches in range.
I simply will never appear on a tropical paradise location. I have no need to care if I will ever own ANY form of feminine beach attire really.
Odds are I will just have to contend with how at best I would look like an old woman that is unable to accept her age. It isn't easy to grow old gracefully for anyone.
It is indeed truely annoying, but, I wander the stores and the horrible truth is, I always find myself liking clothing in the same stores my mom shops in. The trendy stores are for the young. I seem more inclined to like clothing aimed at older women.
I think over all, that is actually more depressing than having trouble finding clothes in my size. Not to mention, older women well they also spread out a bit more than girls in their youth. I actually find it probably more likely I will find acceptable fashions in her stores than in trendy locations.
What is my meandering point in this post?
When considering your circumstances, and being TG, whether it is MTF or FTM, a lot of what you will be dealing with, WILL be relevant to you based on your age category in ways you might not have realized.
I have no useful advice for a teen. That is now 30 years ago for me. All my experiences are so out of date as to be pointless in most cases.
I can't discuss jobs and working, I have no idea what the current workforce for a 20 something is even like. I sure can't really tell you what it will be like going from being thought of as male to being identified as female in the job search game.
My son is 19, I am done raising him. I can't really get too into expressing how to handle taking your kids to school as a mom looking dad. I can't really help you coping with being one of two parents that look the same gender.
And I sure can't really give too much counsel on what to say to parents as a teen in this world. It doesn't look at all like the world I grew up in.
I've been married near 30 years now. It isn't the same as having been married 3-5 years and dealing with not being what your spouse thought they were getting. Right now, the biggest issue in my relationship, is fears of being alone and old. I'm not dealing with how to have a baby, and the trouble of what being the male role in a life where one wishes to be female will feel like. There's no panic in my life to decide to have or not have kids. It's already a long since past stage in my life now. I don't need to care about custody, my son will do what HE feels like doing. He doesn't actually HAVE to listen to my demands.
TG advice needs to be given knowing that some times, the advice will simply be of no value if given to someone of the wrong age category.
Some advice actually isn't automatically ageless. I'm mainly interested in getting rid of my sex life. It's annoying, it is tiring, and I have no need of an ability to reproduce at this age. I don't need a functioning vagina, I'd be happy to just get rid of the oh too functional penis. I am not really looking for ANY form of relationship if my wife passes before me. To me, a companion would be just that, someone to spend the day with. In some ways, I suppose a dog would be adequate :) So I have more or less progressed to an age, where the label of hetero, or homo, or bi, it doesn't really matter. I'm not interested in sex. I am more likely to worry over your hobbies.
When learning what it is to be TG, my advice, make it known precisely what age you are. Put it in your details. It helps us to give you comments that will have worthy meaningful relevance. If you are 25, chances are a person that is 20-30 will be able to give you a better handle on what you might be dealing with. I won't. When I was 20, my main concern was actually the Cold War eh. I was recently out of uniform, and that mattered to me.
Today, I find myself pondering things like, when will I need to consider a place to stay that is relevant to my years. I have wondered if I should move into my mother's building when my son scores his first job and gets his own place. This place has too many stairs. 1 flight by the way is too many in my case. It's not to be closer to mom, it's because I happen to be too similar to mom :)
I'm not worried about how I will be perceived by co workers, I am wondering if the old ladies will consider me one of them.
I see a lot of myself in my mother. She wakes, spends most of her day in her night gown puttering away at whatever in the apartment. Her trips out are modest in frequency and in duration. And to be honest, I think I have been acting like a 40 year old too much to my detriment. I spent the week before Christmas baking like I was a 30 year old housewife. My feet are entirely pissed with me as they know the truth. I'm living in a body that might was well be 60 if not 70. My birth certificate, it has more than just the wrong gender code on it, it is also not very realistic on age as well.
I have wondered, if my getting my name changed is worth the cash. 137 bucks will buy me a lot of things I can use a lot more.
Everyone calls me Les, so whether it is spelled Leslie or Lesley seems kinda pointless. And no one ever calls me Leslie Robert so I don't expect to hear Lesley Roberta much if ever as well (aside from people using it to quote me on a forum).
Name changes, that is something for a young person who likely will spend a lot of times in a great many years signing it to important documents.
The only documents in my life of worth, are on things best left not screwed with. I do NOT fuss with my pension for anything. I don't care what name goes on my income tax paper work. When I am dead, they can write whatever they want on the grave :)
It is my plan to start using Mrs even if no one cares. I plan to call myself a wife even if it only matters to me. The whole pronoun thing, I wish it was the way I want, but it is about the ONLY part of being TG that seems to have any real utility for me. Maybe I will simply just stop 'hearing' anything incorrect. I will refer to myself as a sister, and not care if anyone experiences confusion (not my problem). I will mention myself as Aunt Lesley and it isn't like family will not know it is me. I am not overly interested in getting annoyed with my son calling me dad. I wish mom would introduce me as her daughter, but I am just glad she is still alive to talk too.
This May I hope I can find something nice to wear to my niece's wedding, but I know this much, at the end of the day, when back at the hotel room, I will be relaxing in a night gown :) I will be Aunt Lesley in all the ways I consider important.
We will all end up almost as helpless if we live long enough.
We all have the chance to be ignorant and young, clueless and without wisdom gained from experience.
As we get older, we tend to get set in our ways, stubborn even and in too many cases we suffer from habits that get increasingly harder to break.
Those of us that make it to 30 experience what it feels like to no longer be a frantic young adult seeking for something to accomplish.
Those of us that make it to 40 experience the first stages of life telling you that you are no longer young.
Then 50 arrives, and they start to tell you that you have nothing wrong with you, you are just getting older.
60 arrives and you start to slow down in almost every way. You start thinking in terms of what to do with your last years.
70 and 80 look about the same. And you start to notice you are becoming more and more alone, as more and more of the people you grew up with are increasingly no longer alive.
I have seen the stages my mother have gone through, and she is now 80. She wears adult diapers, she is more baggage now than now in the same way an infant is something to carry. In her case she needs a stroller and you simply don't expect her to move very fast.
90 somethings do exist, and in some cases they are still quite active. So what, that's like saying some 20 year olds are drop dead gorgeous, but they are not the norm.
The above stages come to ALL of us, and it is not relevant if you are TG or something more boring.
So much of my life, it is inescapably tied to life stages I am NOT going to be getting away from.
My mother does not wear make up. Too much fuss, too little reason for it. She has a face that has 80 years on it, and a lot of beauty products were made for the young.
But she does enjoy her weekly visit to the salon. Ok the fact that she can't wash her own hair because getting in the tub is beyond her mobility is the main reason. But she enjoys looking 'presentable' as any woman might.
I hate it when my hair is not presentable too. I am not sure I really NEED make up beyond covering up the shadow. I am no spring chicken either.
She likes a bit of jewellery, but it is rare she has a day where there is any need of it.
I am only slightly ahead of her in this reality.
It is true, I wish I could wear a sexy bikini at the beach. I also wish I could look like a teenager too I suppose. Nope, not going to happen.
My mother never goes swimming due to bladder grief. She has no need of a swim suit. Me, well aside from the local pool there simply is no where for me to go swimming. There are no beaches in reach and I am not going to expend effort getting to the few lame beaches in range.
I simply will never appear on a tropical paradise location. I have no need to care if I will ever own ANY form of feminine beach attire really.
Odds are I will just have to contend with how at best I would look like an old woman that is unable to accept her age. It isn't easy to grow old gracefully for anyone.
It is indeed truely annoying, but, I wander the stores and the horrible truth is, I always find myself liking clothing in the same stores my mom shops in. The trendy stores are for the young. I seem more inclined to like clothing aimed at older women.
I think over all, that is actually more depressing than having trouble finding clothes in my size. Not to mention, older women well they also spread out a bit more than girls in their youth. I actually find it probably more likely I will find acceptable fashions in her stores than in trendy locations.
What is my meandering point in this post?
When considering your circumstances, and being TG, whether it is MTF or FTM, a lot of what you will be dealing with, WILL be relevant to you based on your age category in ways you might not have realized.
I have no useful advice for a teen. That is now 30 years ago for me. All my experiences are so out of date as to be pointless in most cases.
I can't discuss jobs and working, I have no idea what the current workforce for a 20 something is even like. I sure can't really tell you what it will be like going from being thought of as male to being identified as female in the job search game.
My son is 19, I am done raising him. I can't really get too into expressing how to handle taking your kids to school as a mom looking dad. I can't really help you coping with being one of two parents that look the same gender.
And I sure can't really give too much counsel on what to say to parents as a teen in this world. It doesn't look at all like the world I grew up in.
I've been married near 30 years now. It isn't the same as having been married 3-5 years and dealing with not being what your spouse thought they were getting. Right now, the biggest issue in my relationship, is fears of being alone and old. I'm not dealing with how to have a baby, and the trouble of what being the male role in a life where one wishes to be female will feel like. There's no panic in my life to decide to have or not have kids. It's already a long since past stage in my life now. I don't need to care about custody, my son will do what HE feels like doing. He doesn't actually HAVE to listen to my demands.
TG advice needs to be given knowing that some times, the advice will simply be of no value if given to someone of the wrong age category.
Some advice actually isn't automatically ageless. I'm mainly interested in getting rid of my sex life. It's annoying, it is tiring, and I have no need of an ability to reproduce at this age. I don't need a functioning vagina, I'd be happy to just get rid of the oh too functional penis. I am not really looking for ANY form of relationship if my wife passes before me. To me, a companion would be just that, someone to spend the day with. In some ways, I suppose a dog would be adequate :) So I have more or less progressed to an age, where the label of hetero, or homo, or bi, it doesn't really matter. I'm not interested in sex. I am more likely to worry over your hobbies.
When learning what it is to be TG, my advice, make it known precisely what age you are. Put it in your details. It helps us to give you comments that will have worthy meaningful relevance. If you are 25, chances are a person that is 20-30 will be able to give you a better handle on what you might be dealing with. I won't. When I was 20, my main concern was actually the Cold War eh. I was recently out of uniform, and that mattered to me.
Today, I find myself pondering things like, when will I need to consider a place to stay that is relevant to my years. I have wondered if I should move into my mother's building when my son scores his first job and gets his own place. This place has too many stairs. 1 flight by the way is too many in my case. It's not to be closer to mom, it's because I happen to be too similar to mom :)
I'm not worried about how I will be perceived by co workers, I am wondering if the old ladies will consider me one of them.
I see a lot of myself in my mother. She wakes, spends most of her day in her night gown puttering away at whatever in the apartment. Her trips out are modest in frequency and in duration. And to be honest, I think I have been acting like a 40 year old too much to my detriment. I spent the week before Christmas baking like I was a 30 year old housewife. My feet are entirely pissed with me as they know the truth. I'm living in a body that might was well be 60 if not 70. My birth certificate, it has more than just the wrong gender code on it, it is also not very realistic on age as well.
I have wondered, if my getting my name changed is worth the cash. 137 bucks will buy me a lot of things I can use a lot more.
Everyone calls me Les, so whether it is spelled Leslie or Lesley seems kinda pointless. And no one ever calls me Leslie Robert so I don't expect to hear Lesley Roberta much if ever as well (aside from people using it to quote me on a forum).
Name changes, that is something for a young person who likely will spend a lot of times in a great many years signing it to important documents.
The only documents in my life of worth, are on things best left not screwed with. I do NOT fuss with my pension for anything. I don't care what name goes on my income tax paper work. When I am dead, they can write whatever they want on the grave :)
It is my plan to start using Mrs even if no one cares. I plan to call myself a wife even if it only matters to me. The whole pronoun thing, I wish it was the way I want, but it is about the ONLY part of being TG that seems to have any real utility for me. Maybe I will simply just stop 'hearing' anything incorrect. I will refer to myself as a sister, and not care if anyone experiences confusion (not my problem). I will mention myself as Aunt Lesley and it isn't like family will not know it is me. I am not overly interested in getting annoyed with my son calling me dad. I wish mom would introduce me as her daughter, but I am just glad she is still alive to talk too.
This May I hope I can find something nice to wear to my niece's wedding, but I know this much, at the end of the day, when back at the hotel room, I will be relaxing in a night gown :) I will be Aunt Lesley in all the ways I consider important.
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 29, 2013, 08:48:16 AM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 29, 2013, 08:48:16 AM
Amazing lack of replies, either I am substantially capable of stating everything so completely I have left no need to add anything by others, or no one really has anything to say.
40 sum views and no comments though is interesting.
40 sum views and no comments though is interesting.
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: lilacwoman on December 29, 2013, 09:19:10 AM
Post by: lilacwoman on December 29, 2013, 09:19:10 AM
So here are my inescapable life stages.
I told GP that I wasn't a boy when I was about 14 but he ran out of house rather than help me so I retreated into shell for avery long time and let the world see my male shell doing what they expected it to although too often they would sneer to show that it wasn't fooling anyone,
Now I'm 66 and got two new manufacturing projects ready to put into action as soon as UK awakes after New Year,
I have two ebooks to release on Createspace or similar,
I have a massive court case against Munchausen Man and cronies to get started,
I have to help police with perjury case against lawyers for Munchausen man,
I have a full wardrobe of clothes for mature women and all are for women who want to look attractive and I'd like to buy more but nowhere to put them and as I choose good fabrics my clothes last for ages,
my mother died at 93 and most relatives got well into 80s so I don't think Satan will get me for a while but I can be wrong about that,
my brother just had a lung cancer op but isn't looking good but he smoked from being 8-9 and I never have so I think my lungs will go one for a bit longer although I do get more than my share of colds that get chesty,
in January I go see surgon for final inspection and check unless we dream up something else to try improve what Munchausen Man f***** up,
I'm Miss R to everyone and have lots of friends in all sorts of walks of life - latest is a casual acquaintance on bus who is fascinated to hear that I'm an expert on The Brontes so she is going to have me join her Brontes group and do talks and possibly tours of Bronteland,
bus drivers welcome me with a 'Hello Miss' and 'Love' which is the marker for womanness in England,
there's soem very nice pieces of stone in the builder's yard next to my flat and I keep looking at them as art objects but my place is already overfilled with artworks,
my town is cradle of England's Industrial revolution and I have invite to join local history and research group if I get the time,
when spring makes cats have kittens I think I am going to get one and say 'So what!' to no-pets landlord,
so life has changed pretty much the last few years thanks to transitioning and whether I'll still be around in five years or what I might be doing I have no idea as I live by Doris Day's old song: 'Que Sera Sera': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_Sj7-tTfM
I told GP that I wasn't a boy when I was about 14 but he ran out of house rather than help me so I retreated into shell for avery long time and let the world see my male shell doing what they expected it to although too often they would sneer to show that it wasn't fooling anyone,
Now I'm 66 and got two new manufacturing projects ready to put into action as soon as UK awakes after New Year,
I have two ebooks to release on Createspace or similar,
I have a massive court case against Munchausen Man and cronies to get started,
I have to help police with perjury case against lawyers for Munchausen man,
I have a full wardrobe of clothes for mature women and all are for women who want to look attractive and I'd like to buy more but nowhere to put them and as I choose good fabrics my clothes last for ages,
my mother died at 93 and most relatives got well into 80s so I don't think Satan will get me for a while but I can be wrong about that,
my brother just had a lung cancer op but isn't looking good but he smoked from being 8-9 and I never have so I think my lungs will go one for a bit longer although I do get more than my share of colds that get chesty,
in January I go see surgon for final inspection and check unless we dream up something else to try improve what Munchausen Man f***** up,
I'm Miss R to everyone and have lots of friends in all sorts of walks of life - latest is a casual acquaintance on bus who is fascinated to hear that I'm an expert on The Brontes so she is going to have me join her Brontes group and do talks and possibly tours of Bronteland,
bus drivers welcome me with a 'Hello Miss' and 'Love' which is the marker for womanness in England,
there's soem very nice pieces of stone in the builder's yard next to my flat and I keep looking at them as art objects but my place is already overfilled with artworks,
my town is cradle of England's Industrial revolution and I have invite to join local history and research group if I get the time,
when spring makes cats have kittens I think I am going to get one and say 'So what!' to no-pets landlord,
so life has changed pretty much the last few years thanks to transitioning and whether I'll still be around in five years or what I might be doing I have no idea as I live by Doris Day's old song: 'Que Sera Sera': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_Sj7-tTfM
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: Gina Taylor on December 29, 2013, 11:23:31 AM
Post by: Gina Taylor on December 29, 2013, 11:23:31 AM
Leslie, allow me to be the first to reply.
I've taken the time to read through most of your post and from what I understand is that simply your saying is that you've reached an age where you're really too old to teach the new kids about how it is to live your life as a transgender, but your still at an age that you can manage. But basically you've reached ana ge that you feel that you've don eyour part in your life between your mother raising your 19 year old son and now looking after your wife. The bestthing that I cna say to you, is to just sit back and tak eit easy. You've done enough. It's now time for you to start looking after yourself. :)
I've taken the time to read through most of your post and from what I understand is that simply your saying is that you've reached an age where you're really too old to teach the new kids about how it is to live your life as a transgender, but your still at an age that you can manage. But basically you've reached ana ge that you feel that you've don eyour part in your life between your mother raising your 19 year old son and now looking after your wife. The bestthing that I cna say to you, is to just sit back and tak eit easy. You've done enough. It's now time for you to start looking after yourself. :)
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: gennee on December 29, 2013, 02:34:24 PM
Post by: gennee on December 29, 2013, 02:34:24 PM
There's a number of things I don't do well as I used to but I still do them. There are many realities of aging but then again there are still many opportunities. I'm not afraid of aging because I believe the best years of my life are ahead.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: peky on December 29, 2013, 02:56:09 PM
Post by: peky on December 29, 2013, 02:56:09 PM
That is a bleak and myopic view of life... in my humble opinion... no offense intended...
It is fine that you make plans for your life but life is not about stages created by our culture but about the positive impact your life had in other people's life and in the life's of the generations to come...
It is fine that you make plans for your life but life is not about stages created by our culture but about the positive impact your life had in other people's life and in the life's of the generations to come...
Title: Re: Inescapable life stages
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 29, 2013, 08:35:11 PM
Post by: Lesley_Roberta on December 29, 2013, 08:35:11 PM
Myopic interesting choice :)
I like to think that being what is a defacto 70 year old woman stuck in a male form, and having been married a long time, and having raised a song to adult, I actually have an extremely wide angled view of life, not at all a near sighted one.
But still, I'm not 15, and today's 15 year old, lives in a world that doesn't resemble the world of my 15th birthday in any way at all (other than being on the same planet).
What I was suggesting, was that MY life isn't necessarily going to be ideally relevant to a lot of others. I can discuss at length what it is like to be a 70 year old TG considering I have been 70 for 15 years in a row now. I know what it is like to be TG while disabled. Thanks to my disability though, I will never know what it is like to be 35 thru 50, as I never really was. I mean, yeah I have not actually been in existence for 70 years, but you can forget doubting me. I'm up to 6 times now someone (and occasionally ir is someone that was OLDER than me) has asked me if I needed help getting from point A to point B. I am simply not the age on my birth certificate.
My teens are so far away in time and I have never actually experienced a large swath of the usual experience of life.
I am just saying, I have noticed in the past, that some of my comments have had people react to them, all essentially because they and I are not in the same stage of life. I tend to avoid comments about work, as I can't relate. I had one decent job in my past, it was 86 to 99. 3 lousy years out of 52. I had a handful of jobs that amounted to very little in duration as a youth. Tried bricklaying, it gave me a hernia and made me out of action for 6 months. Likely the most expensive 3 days in my life. Tried roofing, lasted a day, tried insulation installation, lasted 2 hours. Did a convenience store night clean up clerk for 4 years. I did more work at home doing housework than I did at that job. 3 years delivering furniture for Leons between 86 and 99 is what I call the only real work I have ever done. I haven't worked though since 94. I have absolutely no idea what the modern job search process is about.
So when people discuss being TG at work, I have really no way to comment. My son though knows what it is like to be a young adult looking for work.
My mom's health is crappy mobility wise. Had to take her to the hospital again yesterday. The hard part is getting family to accept, I am ok as a companion to my mom, but I am not the same as my brother and sister who are supposedly my age. They both work. I understand, they can't take time off of work. I don't work, I seem so conveniently available. I am, as long as it doesn't involve work. The thing is, they forget why I am not working some times. I can't. I find myself beset with wondering, do I need to get mom to share a place with me so that I can be present, and not a long (for me) walk from her place. Because often what she needs is not much, but it takes a lot for me to get there to do it.
Heck I have already started pondering if I should move into a seniors type apartment myself.
So many of my TG concerns, they are being seen through the eyes of an old woman. Here I sit in a night gown. I spend most of my days at home. I don't really need dresses as much as I need a few night gowns. I am not really in need of a lot of common things common to women as they have limited utility to me. Yes I'd like to have breasts and a need for a bra, but, if I had breasts, I'd still be in a night gown without my bra on. My mother spends most of her days dressed the same way. I think over all, if we were living together, she likely would soon see that I am her daughter a lot more so. Because we would both be sitting at the kitchen table in night gowns, and she would not need to fret over her sitting in a night gown with me there. So what mom, you are in your night gown, so am I.
It's not that I don't have a lot of experiences, but, all of my experiences belong to an old woman. And so a lot of my early experiences are so dated, that a young person will not have much ability to relate to them. I am June Cleaver in so many ways. I wonder how many know the name without hitting Google.
I like to think that being what is a defacto 70 year old woman stuck in a male form, and having been married a long time, and having raised a song to adult, I actually have an extremely wide angled view of life, not at all a near sighted one.
But still, I'm not 15, and today's 15 year old, lives in a world that doesn't resemble the world of my 15th birthday in any way at all (other than being on the same planet).
What I was suggesting, was that MY life isn't necessarily going to be ideally relevant to a lot of others. I can discuss at length what it is like to be a 70 year old TG considering I have been 70 for 15 years in a row now. I know what it is like to be TG while disabled. Thanks to my disability though, I will never know what it is like to be 35 thru 50, as I never really was. I mean, yeah I have not actually been in existence for 70 years, but you can forget doubting me. I'm up to 6 times now someone (and occasionally ir is someone that was OLDER than me) has asked me if I needed help getting from point A to point B. I am simply not the age on my birth certificate.
My teens are so far away in time and I have never actually experienced a large swath of the usual experience of life.
I am just saying, I have noticed in the past, that some of my comments have had people react to them, all essentially because they and I are not in the same stage of life. I tend to avoid comments about work, as I can't relate. I had one decent job in my past, it was 86 to 99. 3 lousy years out of 52. I had a handful of jobs that amounted to very little in duration as a youth. Tried bricklaying, it gave me a hernia and made me out of action for 6 months. Likely the most expensive 3 days in my life. Tried roofing, lasted a day, tried insulation installation, lasted 2 hours. Did a convenience store night clean up clerk for 4 years. I did more work at home doing housework than I did at that job. 3 years delivering furniture for Leons between 86 and 99 is what I call the only real work I have ever done. I haven't worked though since 94. I have absolutely no idea what the modern job search process is about.
So when people discuss being TG at work, I have really no way to comment. My son though knows what it is like to be a young adult looking for work.
My mom's health is crappy mobility wise. Had to take her to the hospital again yesterday. The hard part is getting family to accept, I am ok as a companion to my mom, but I am not the same as my brother and sister who are supposedly my age. They both work. I understand, they can't take time off of work. I don't work, I seem so conveniently available. I am, as long as it doesn't involve work. The thing is, they forget why I am not working some times. I can't. I find myself beset with wondering, do I need to get mom to share a place with me so that I can be present, and not a long (for me) walk from her place. Because often what she needs is not much, but it takes a lot for me to get there to do it.
Heck I have already started pondering if I should move into a seniors type apartment myself.
So many of my TG concerns, they are being seen through the eyes of an old woman. Here I sit in a night gown. I spend most of my days at home. I don't really need dresses as much as I need a few night gowns. I am not really in need of a lot of common things common to women as they have limited utility to me. Yes I'd like to have breasts and a need for a bra, but, if I had breasts, I'd still be in a night gown without my bra on. My mother spends most of her days dressed the same way. I think over all, if we were living together, she likely would soon see that I am her daughter a lot more so. Because we would both be sitting at the kitchen table in night gowns, and she would not need to fret over her sitting in a night gown with me there. So what mom, you are in your night gown, so am I.
It's not that I don't have a lot of experiences, but, all of my experiences belong to an old woman. And so a lot of my early experiences are so dated, that a young person will not have much ability to relate to them. I am June Cleaver in so many ways. I wonder how many know the name without hitting Google.