Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Here is my issue, I've been seeing my GF for a few months now. She know's about me starting hormones. I've been on low doses on everything. I've noticed and significant drop off on the sex drive and having a hard time with maintaining. It's starting to effect my relationship.

I'm considering coming off hormones. I love the calm I feel, I haven't been on anything really long enough to have any body changes.  The conflict is that I want to continue both the hormones and the relationship. But how do I overcome the lacking the bedroom. Any advice would be great. Thanks for reading.

I never want to have sex like a guy ever again.  My wife of 20 years thinks its weird now as well.

We both prefer the Hitachi Magic Wand these days.  You can also give her plenty of oral or strap one on.

I agree with Jill's suggestions of being a creative lover.  Playing can be fun for any intimate adult relationship and essential, IMHO, for a long term one.

I have no personal experience with it but some have used the prescription boner pills with reportedly OK results.

Party on but it seems there may be bigger hurdles and "conflicts" on your journey to come.  A critical question my therapist asked me was "how much of being a man are you ready to give up to transition?"  My answer was unequivocal; others have a different response.

Good luck

Quote from: AuroraSTL on December 29, 2013, 01:22:47 PM
Here is my issue, I've been seeing my GF for a few months now. She know's about me starting hormones. I've been on low doses on everything. I've noticed and significant drop off on the sex drive and having a hard time with maintaining. It's starting to effect my relationship.

I'm considering coming off hormones. I love the calm I feel, I haven't been on anything really long enough to have any body changes.  The conflict is that I want to continue both the hormones and the relationship. But how do I overcome the lacking the bedroom. Any advice would be great. Thanks for reading.

Is your goal to have penetrative sex using your penis, or just to have a sex drive to play around using toys/oral/fingers?
Is viagra ever prescribed for people in your situation?

QuoteHere is my issue, I've been seeing my GF for a few months now. She know's about me starting hormones. I've been on low doses on everything. I've noticed and significant drop off on the sex drive and having a hard time with maintaining. It's starting to effect my relationship.

I'm considering coming off hormones. I love the calm I feel, I haven't been on anything really long enough to have any body changes.  The conflict is that I want to continue both the hormones and the relationship. But how do I overcome the lacking the bedroom. Any advice would be great. Thanks for reading.

When my wife (20 years) wants to have sex then I take a Cialis (high dose). Prior to HRT I never initiated sex and it was infrequent. The difference now is we plan ahead and it is usually 1/ month and sometimes we skip.

Pre HRT sex was dysphoric and I saw black, had my eyes closed and concentrated. Now I accept I am trans and learned to vision myself having sex as myself (inner self). This is a dysphoric event but really good until when it is over and I am external me, sucks. So close but then so far away. This leaves me empty and a shell or so I feel.

I damaged my penis shaft many years ago when I was a teen so and erection is very painful due to the restrictive scar tissue. I never told my wife.

The end of the 1st month on HRT I was in a panic because nothing worked and my wife wanted to escape. I had to relearn how to arouse which is very different than male arousal.

I have a GID medical diagnosis and it is confirmed to my insurance company. I started a time line in the event Gender Reaffirmation Surgery is chosen, which is covered under insurance.

I am in love so the things I do are not simple in comparison to being single. I am also much more attracted sexually to males but I guess I never figured out love and sex :)

Yup, I agree with what others are saying - it's time to get creative. Trust me, penis-in-vagina sex is really not the be-all, end-all of sex. For many people, it's barely a highlight. And you don't have to choose between your identity and having a sex life. There are so many options for sex, I'm sure you'll find something that is perfect for you.

Welcome to the land of female/female sex. :) All I can say is if she knew you wefe on 'mones, then part of her has to be ok with being a gay woman. Its an experience, im my girls first woman....it was tough on her at first, and well, things work out if love is involved...
The others advice was priceless. Toys help, but so do short finger nails and cunnilingus. Long fingernails HURT. Best wishes!