Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Ive been on HRT for 9 months and my breasts are now visible under my business shirts.I'm still in stealth mode and speak at financial conferencs and with investment clients so i'm getting concerned that its now visible. I've looked at the shopping site here but there are no recommendations and I have also gone on the intenet and th sites are difficult to evaluate . Can anyone recommend a online shopping site?

Thank you

Quote from: warlockmaker on December 29, 2013, 09:36:56 PM
Ive been on HRT for 9 months and my breasts are now visible under my business shirts.I'm still in stealth mode and speak at financial conferencs and with investment clients so i'm getting concerned that its now visible. I've looked at the shopping site here but there are no recommendations and I have also gone on the intenet and th sites are difficult to evaluate . Can anyone recommend a online shopping site?

Thank you

I had read somewhere that ace bandages (those stretchy self adhesive things you can use for a sprain or strain) can be used. I have no idea if this is a good idea though lol

Side thought: I was under the impression stealth refers to living as your identifying gender where no one knows that it's different from your natal sex.

No ace bandages or tape!

It depends on your cup size, if your an A cup maybe a small B you could use 2 sports bras. One forwards and one backwards is what I've heard works. However, if you are larger a underworks binder could work. It costs around $30-$40 at underworks. http://www.f2mbinders.com/binding-tops/tanks Tritop and the 977 are the most common, but there is another one like the 977 without the stomach compression. The cheapest way is to use a back brace as a binder.

Binding will make your breasts saggy though, which is something you may not want.

Edit: under10 code for a 10% discount

in the movie shes the man, amanda bynes used what i thought was a sports wrap. like the ones you use to keep ice on your knees.
the sagging breasts thing is a bit unnerving tho. so you might want to be careful about that.

I'm curious... Are boobs the only tell you have? There's many a girl who reaches male-fail by 9 months HRT.

I'm looking for some sort of lycra T shirt.

Re: stealth
my view is that i'm still hidng my HRT effects and havnot come out.

Sammy, i have alot of changes, skin, fat redistribution, hair. But I still have male eyebrows and without makeup pass as a ood looking male hahaha

Quote from: SammyRose on December 29, 2013, 10:49:32 PM
I'm curious... Are boobs the only tell you have? There's many a girl who reaches male-fail by 9 months HRT.

The concept of male fail annoys me.  Not that I don't think it is real, but I never attained it after years of HRT, but I do look fine as a girl.  Maybe I just have a face that works for either sex, idk.  But part of me wonders if it really is a thing.  I'm sure it is.  I am probably just annoyed with the concept of it because I wish it happened to me.

Quote from: Jen on December 29, 2013, 11:53:52 PM
The concept of male fail annoys me.  Not that I don't think it is real, but I never attained it after years of HRT, but I do look fine as a girl.  Maybe I just have a face that works for either sex, idk.  But part of me wonders if it really is a thing.  I'm sure it is.  I am probably just annoyed with the concept of it because I wish it happened to me.

I don't think that this phenomena is purely physical at all. It's a combination of appearance, mannerisms, deportment etc etc.

I started to hit male-fail at about month 7 into HRT. The only way I knew was because I was getting female pronouns on an occasional basis from the public. All my friends already said I looked somewhat female at that time, not that I believed them. But again, it wasn't just appearance. The way I walked and held myself was female, even when trying to appear male. Mannerisms etc, all female. So looking back, I'm not really surprised. How many times have you been wandering about not really looking at people, yet you can usually gender them from peripheral vision. I'm not sure it's more in depth than that.

And Jen, from your photos, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to pass as male regardless. :)

Whatever you do stay away from ace bandages!!!

I've been using them and they suck. They make you sweat and if they aren't secure they come undone.

Binding your developing breasts will probabl be fairly uncomfortable and may also lead to flat breasts. (That's usually the rest for F2Ms - at least as I understand it.)  :-\

You're not wearing a jacket or vest? Maybe try wearing a larger baggier shirt with a smaller, tightish singlet underneath.

I would highly advise against any sort of binding, it will mess up their shape and also their growth. Invest in sports bras and some slightly baggier clothes. I have an a cups right now and can very easily hide my breasts by wearing a sports bra and a loose fitting shirt. Really don't bind because you will regret it later. Also never use ace bandages, they can and will injure you.

Quote from: SammyRose on December 29, 2013, 10:49:32 PM
I'm curious... Are boobs the only tell you have? There's many a girl who reaches male-fail by 9 months HRT.

I've been on HRT for over 4 months and definitely see a mail fail coming. the face has changes where people will give me a second look. The receptionist at my doctors  keeps trying to make sure I know I'm male by going over board with the sir. I do see a validity in the term mail fail.

  I figure binding can be problematic in regards to distorting the growing breasts.  That said I've read plenty of references stating the importance of properly fitting bras for pubescent girls to prevent skin stretch marks/micro-tearing and to encourage proper shape.  There must be a happy medium, but I would think unless you're into high-impact exercise, prolonged squashing of the developing breasts would be a bad idea.

  In regards to "male-fail" it happened to me occasionally before HRT and I recently scared the crap out of some guy who thought he'd gone into the wrong public bathroom.  It would be silly to try to convince myself that it was just really bad observation skills on the part of these people.  When I look at myself in the mirror in isolation I still have trouble 'shedding' my maleness in my mind.  However when I see myself in photos along-side guys I'm always shocked by how female I look by comparison despite the few minor things I would like to have altered.  I have pressed my employer to help me form a coming-out plan and to sort out their policy issues specifically because my visual progression may advance to the point of trouble with the public before I or my employer is ready for it.  As much as I would like to be able to keep control of my time line I realize that due to the incidents already I won't be able to entirely.  I would be rather annoyed if I went through the effort and discomfort of binding only to male-fail anyway because of the rest of my appearance.

  Perhaps we should move this issue to a dedicated "Male-fail" thread.

is male fail occasional misgendering? I was under the impression it is when you present as male, and no one believes you. It happens to me but am also really tiny. It's not fun or validating anymore. It's annoying. I had a unemployment appeal hearing where I presented male and the qhole document I got back (the verdict) the judge referred to me as she throughout and my mom read it first lol so now she thinks I showed up in this punk rock grey romper I own. Another time I tried to get an obamaphone (im poor) and the girl said I can't use my boyfriends I D. Even today talking to the bank they wouldn't believe I was male...on the phone. I don't get it because I was getting sir'd last week and couldn't pass. I believe that was the increase spiro dose that increases T short term. I was getting erections and all and even had to use it twice. Now....it is barely there and looks like a big vag. I'm serious. My testes are gone.

It helps to be tiny I guess :).  I had a few people misgender me, the funniest was a policeman tha pulled me over who got so confused, more often though I would just get lingering stares of contempt that made my skin crawl, which i am sure was not male fail but probably more like straight male fail.  That happened a lot.

sport bra usually does the trick

I'm new to the "male -fail" concept but I guess thats whats happening to me. Recently, sweet coments have been made about my looks, i'm alredy small in frame, fine boned and add the 9 months on HRT and voila - the questions start coming. So I keep some straggling upper lip hairs ( laser and electrolysis has taken care of the rest) and need to appear male for another 6 months. And I have to also speak in public forums on finance which is  very male dominated arena - I now have a pony tail and I guess the female in me also wants out sooner than later. Its getting compicated but I can't come out yet.

I would not consider bandages but a lycra top has worked. Sports bra's - going to give it a try.  I'm on vacation in Phuket and here they can spot me quite easily - there ar so many of us here and the locals can spot us in our novice stage.

I'd suggest a seamless sport bra (no defined cups, no protruding seams, no clasp.  I've found racerback ones are easier to hide the straps.), layer that with a t-shirt to hide any lines, then your regular (slightly oversized) dress shirt (if you usually wear a L, go up to an XL).  It has worked for me pretty well. good luck.  :)

I don't think stealth means what you think it means..

Hi Isabelle,i've always assumed it means tha I cant come out as a female and staying in a male mode - for whatever rason imposed by my circumstances. Is thee another word I should use and what is the meaning of stealth mode?

Have a fabulous New Year and may all your wishes come true.

Stealth refers to someone who has fully transitioned to their destination gender and does not want to be outed for their birth gender. It occurs when someone is fully passing and nobody knows their biological medical history. They are stealth in their destination gender to the public, and nobody can identify them as transgender.

I think what you are describing is you need to present as birth gender even though you are in transition. Try a firm racer back sports bra with no padding. The racer back avoids straps showing through. Get ready for chafing and sweating, though. Might want to give serious consideration to accelerating your coming out, though. 6 months is a long time and you will continue to develop. Have you talked to HR, yet in order to get them on board? Allies are good, and they will need time to prepare if you plan to stay at that Company.

One more thing... layers are your friend :)

Best of luck to you. You will get through it.

I currently wear the Compression Tanksuit sold at Underworks and I highly recommend it.  http://www.f2mbinders.com/binding-suits/compression-tanksuit

I have been wearing these compression garments for 4-5 years, for 8-12 hours/day during the workweek, and they have not damaged my breasts (B-cup) or made them sag.   I think it works great!   I tried tight compression shirts, like Under Armour, that don't wrap under your crotch, but the shirt always inched upward and bunched up around my stomach and it became very tight and uncomfortable.  The compression tanksuit wraps under your crotch and it locks everything in place and it prevents the shirt from riding up or bunching up.   I tried the sports bra route, but for that to work, it must be tight, and after awhile it feels like it is cutting into you.   The sports bra could also be visible under a tee shirt or dress shirt, but the compression tanksuit is invisible.   It just looks like an average undershirt.   The Underworks garment is good quality and its lasts a long time.  It is uncomfortable and hot when you first start wearing it but I became accustomed to the feeling.   It might be so tight and hard to get on, especially when new, that you might need to use baby powder to help slide it on.   In addition to hiding your breasts, it also makes you look slimmer and that's a bonus.   Good luck!

Thanks Antonia, I knows its going to be tough as timegoes by. Wish I could transition but I've waited so long and can only start when I hand over the running of the family trust. How would i describe my mode if not stealth.

Hi Rachel, thats a really good tip. I live in Asia and can only access this by internet and I will see what they have. I have been using the Misuno golf lyrca sun shirts and that works wel but itsto much for work tho. Maybe there a good shop in Phuket, Thalnd,where  I take my vactions and I'm there now

the term stealth refers to a girl (or guy) living as their preferred gender without being out to anyone around you like colleagues and friends. Usually someone who is stealth is out to a partner. Not always. It's a personal individual choice.

presenting male on HRT is just "in the closet." usually trying on totallt fab little rompers with some nice leggings and a leather jacket. Hehe jk lolbut yeah ur just in the closet. Stealth requires a namw change usually and somw laser and hrt. To be stealth, you must be passable. Or at least andro. I'm just andro.

I really wouldn't bind them.  It's really not the best thing if you hope to have a healthy development and no one wants sagging issues. However, I understand how you feel and realize that it's a difficult position you're in.  I'm still in boy mode myself, but I have very noticeable breasts and people do look at them.   At this point, I've just embraced it and have gotten used to having boobs.  Besides, everyone can tell something is going on in general despite being in boy mode.  At a certain point, you really can't keep hiding.  Sure, you can cover your boobs, but what about everything else?  It's just something to consider because you've been on hormones for quite some time.  Even if you can keep things covered for a little more, sooner or later it will come out.  I'm not trying to scare you, but it's the reality of the situation.  Nonetheless, I do hope you can find a way to cover things up long enough for everything to be okay for you.  Just be aware that many people are on to us even when we think we're hiding.

I have had good luck with these Jockey T shirts.  Although they are expensive, they are frequently on sale.

http://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-seamfree-crew

They are stretchy and comfortable.  They hold  things in place without actually squeezing them too much. 

The boobs will be with you for the rest of your life, and both men and women will look at them.   I don't dress in a female manner, but I don't attempt to hide my boobs.  In fact when I swim or do water aerobics at the "Y" I do so topless.  I'm quite glad to have my boobs and would find it hard to hide them.

Randi 

I do love my boobs. Its just I need to earn $ and I am very good at what I do and I get really well paid. I will have to save up enough so I dont need to work - ever. What gives us away is our face - so I dont do anything with my eyebrows. My boobs are ok in a jacket. I will looka at the Jockey T shirts. I'm in Phuket and I can only go to the beach with a lycra sun shirt and I have to wear baggy swimsuits, even then I get looks but here in Phuket I don't mind. I'm in my 50s and I never thought my boobs would grow so much.

  I looked at the Jockey site and was amused to find right on the main page customer comments from men about the panties they bought and wear.  They could actually be legit but we'll never know for sure.