Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So nervous i'm physically shaking. I'm Heidi and I just barely crawled out of a depression so dark and lonely and filled with self loathing that I truly worshipped death. After a long crushing stretch of denial, drugs, psych meds, suicide attempts and complete loss of hope something finally happened and it might sound so stupid but I finally accepted myself. I didnt plan on being alive right now but I am and i'm so happy it brings me to tears. I am by no means even close to living somewhat normal but the dissolution of the depression has made me feel alive and wanting to live and experience life in a positive manner. I was quite possibly one of the most hypocritical people to ever have lived. I say this because I've gone to sickening extremes to deny myself any chance of being me. Does that sound right? I have no self worth and I have the absolute worst anxiety. I'm literally trembling and my heart is fluttering in my chest. I want to be here though and i'm excited i'm writing and trying to open up and live and be accepted and involved. This is all so new to me but I hope you will all give me a chance to open my heart and let me share my deepest love, thoughts and emotions.

Welcome, Its a start that your here so that is something to be proud of. :D

A big warm welcome to the family baby! :laugh: If you look at all the stories here you will see your condition is not the slightest bit different. We have ALL been where you are now at one time or another. Relax, you are with family here. We will help you whenever it is needed. Do not be afraid to ask questions no matter what the subject is. This place is so full of caring, sharing, shoulders to cry on and a crowd to applaud and be happy with you when the good happens. Do not ever hesitate to PM me with questions, rants, venting or sharing. Know you are loved and supported here. This is YOUR family now! Here is a BIG HUG ( :icon_hug:) to start your new journey in life!  :laugh:

Hello Heidi, welcome to Susan's Place. :) I hope you find the  love and support that you need here.

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Wow so nice it makes me cry! Thank you sooo much! I'm beginning to see that it is possible to be happy. I'm absolutely amazed to the point of my mind going blank and that never happens.

Quote from: Heidi Clare Fitz on January 04, 2014, 07:19:46 PM
So nervous i'm physically shaking. I'm Heidi and I just barely crawled out of a depression so dark and lonely and filled with self loathing that I truly worshipped death. After a long crushing stretch of denial, drugs, psych meds, suicide attempts and complete loss of hope something finally happened and it might sound so stupid but I finally accepted myself. I didnt plan on being alive right now but I am and i'm so happy it brings me to tears. I am by no means even close to living somewhat normal but the dissolution of the depression has made me feel alive and wanting to live and experience life in a positive manner.

I was quite possibly one of the most hypocritical people to ever have lived. I say this because I've gone to sickening extremes to deny myself any chance of being me. Does that sound right? I have no self worth and I have the absolute worst anxiety. I'm literally trembling and my heart is fluttering in my chest. I want to be here though and i'm excited i'm writing and trying to open up and live and be accepted and involved. This is all so new to me but I hope you will all give me a chance to open my heart and let me share my deepest love, thoughts and emotions.

Heidi, you are among friends now.  Many of us have been where you are now.

Denial, confusion, and self-hatred are very common in our community until we begin to tackle these issues.  You've taken the first step!

A famous English fellow once wrote, "The love you take is equal to the love you make,"  Go ahead and open up.  Welcome.

Hi Heidi!

I know you're not alone because I was right there. Continued denial of who I am was killing me. Had I not found the strength to make my first post here I don't know if I'd be alive right now. I was in a very dark place, too. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I'm so happy for you that you found it in you to accept who you are. Isn't it amazing? I don't think I slept more than 2-3 hours a night for the first week after I joined.

Many people have gone to some pretty severe extremes to deny who they are. It's not your fault. Society at large makes the trans community out to be sick, horrible people. The good news is that this is simply not true. It can even be argued that the vast majority of the people here have carried that same weight and so they've become the strongest, the kindest, most supportive people I'll ever have the privilege to know. I include you in that group.

This is a safe place, my new sister, I promise. You can ask many questions, read anything that suits your fancy, PM me and/or anyone else to ask even more questions, and take your own sweet time figuring yourself out. I know Jess means it when he writes, "welcome to the family." And I do, too. You have family here now.

love,
-maggie

Welcome Heidi

Hello Heidi,

My story isn't like yours but I can understand the fear and uncertainty that being trans brings. You are safe and welcome here.

Hi everyone! I'm back no more complaining i did everything legit and im on hrt going on 3rd week yay me! I feel great better than i've ever felt before! And i finally have a goal in life well several but one major one! Oh and i decided on a name change because its closer to my birth name and just feel it suits me better... It's Chelsey now woot! Lovin it! Anyhow just reintroducing without all the complaining and griping...lol...

Hi Chelsey  :icon_wave:

Welcome to back Susan's  :)  Glad to have you back, join on in the fun

Here's some quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Hugs

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