Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Since being trans I have dated briefly a post-op transwomen. I would also be open to dating a transman. I am more into men then I am into women. Also there was a story going around the net of a trans teen couple one m2f the other f2m. They were so cute together.

Would you date someone that was also trans? Have you dated someone who was trans. And what do you think of trans people dating?

Lets discuss

Yes dated and married.

I think that the community in whole is more fixed on the CIS but is missing out on happiness that can be found with in.

Anyway, i am so happy with life.

Isabell

I wouldnt mind dating a tran girl  :)

Id like it if we were the same age  :)

We could do many things together and we could understand each other  :)

But that seems kinda difficult...

I have dated two FtMs, and 5 MtFs (three were post op), and one gender fluid person. I find it comforting dating another trans person. They can actually understand how I feel, which cis people can't.

I think its fine for trans people to date each other. I wouldn't, but then I don't date at all.

I've dated 4 M2F but 1 of them really had problems,the last I heard she was sectioned after getting in a bar brawl with some drunks and then trying to take out the cops!I can manage really good without someone like that

I would be comfortable with a cis or transgendered woman. I'm just not into guys.

Recently saw a really gorgeous trans woman at my endo's waiting room. Would definitely consider dating her if she was interested and I was game enough to ask! Before I saw her I'd never even considered the possibility so it surprised me to find myself considering going out with her.

I love someone who is also trans (MTF). I had wondered, previously, if it would be an issue at all. But it really isn't any different from dating a cisgender woman, for the most part. Trans stuff kind of is double edged. It has the potential to start fights that wouldn't happen otherwise, but we also understand that part of each other's lives too.

Even if I liked guys though, I could never date a trans man, ever. It would bring all the issues too close to home and...just, never. I'd be with a cis guy if I was to be with a guy at all.

amber1964 Iv met many cis people with tons of crazy. So if you think trans people are a tad nutty so are cis people LOL. Nobody is perfect lets just make that clear.

Quote from: Lana P on January 06, 2014, 06:19:45 PM
amber1964 Iv met many cis people with tons of crazy. So if you think trans people are a tad nutty so are cis people LOL. Nobody is perfect lets just make that clear.

Oh, I totally agree with this! The one ciswoman I have dated this year was nuts!

I've met very few F2M but would consider dating.

I would date almost anyone who didn't flee in terror!  ;D

I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with another trans person. Gender isn't important to me as much as how much I love spending time with that person. And it would be nice to have someone who knows what your going through. :)

Quote from: amber1964 on January 06, 2014, 05:07:07 PM
I like normal cis sexual manly big teddy bear kinds of men.

Normal? Our FTM brothers not "normal?"

QuoteOne screwed up person with issues in a relationship is more than enough

Everybody has "issues," cis or trans makes no difference

Your post is borderline offensive dear!

Quote from: Lana P on January 06, 2014, 06:19:45 PM
amber1964 Iv met many cis people with tons of crazy. So if you think trans people are a tad nutty so are cis people LOL. Nobody is perfect lets just make that clear.

Heck, I've met cis women that make me look sane..

Crazy seems to come in 'flavours', some flavours I like, some I don't..

Lana P

Let me be clear.

Some kinds of craziness and issues are fine for me. But I dont want to deal with the kind of issues another trans person has. Got enough of that kind of crazy. Thought a trans woman would get that. Not worth the chance to me, so much easier to find a normal guy or at least a guy without gender issues.

PS: Not necessary to speak down to me. Just communicate.

I would I suppose, I like women, and I wouldn't limit that to cisgender ones. I could certainly see where dating someone working thru their own gender issues could be a challenge then again, that person would have a much greater understanding of my own problems. I never have dated someone trans, but I think it almost could be refreshing to have someone that understands, but it wouldn't be something I would actively seek, in any more of a capacity than someone cisgendered.

All in all, I just want someone to accept me, love me and not oppose SRS because they like my birth defect. OK, now officially depressed because I will never find this combination ever.  :(

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on January 06, 2014, 07:31:28 PM
OK, now officially depressed because I will never find this combination ever.  :(

Come now, don't think like that. There are plenty of people who would date you for you, not your genitalia. Think positively!

I had a trans girlfriend, we were intimate and I'll have to admit that at the time it was wrong for me because I am married. I find other trans women attractive because we relate well to one another and have a certain commonality and pretty good idea of what floats the other's boat. This person was such a drama queen though and it wasn't long before it was over as I have a short fuse for BS. If I found myself alone I would consider a trans woman again over a cis female for those reasons.

Was not speaking down to you amber1964 was just making a point was all. Sorry if you took offence did not mean to do that. :D

Its all good honey. Part of me is being immensely sensitive. Sometimes too much.

I'm be happy with anyone I click with -- but they are few.

Quote from: Jenna Stannis on January 06, 2014, 08:13:56 PM
I'm be happy with anyone I click with -- but they are few.

Me too.Shantel your experience was a lot like mine,I got on with this girl but she had a huge chip on her shoulder and went out of her way to provoke people.She dressed like a hooker and went to the roughest bars in the war zone.She was banned from 5 bars that I can remember for fighting.Like you I have a short fuse for BS

I used to think I wouldn't be happy with anyone other than a cis man, but recently have had the pleasure of meeting a really amazing trans guy and I'd go out with him in a heartbeat.  Turns out I realized that what's below the belt really isn't that important to me; who a person is, his character, sense of humor, etc. is far more important.


Jay

Quote from: sneakersjay on January 07, 2014, 08:03:33 AM
I used to think I wouldn't be happy with anyone other than a cis man, but recently have had the pleasure of meeting a really amazing trans guy and I'd go out with him in a heartbeat.  Turns out I realized that what's below the belt really isn't that important to me; who a person is, his character, sense of humor, etc. is far more important.


Jay

Well said Dude! I echo your post by saying it is all about being human....recognizing other peoples needs and desires...finding a nexus....the kindred spirit...that is what love is all about...

Having said that I would recognize that we all have "types" of people we seek as potential partners...and oh, so well, Vive la différence!

When I used to go to the Gender Clinic, I would see a lot of hot and cute transmen in the waiting room but they were so young, probably half my age...I wanted to chat with them so bad but they only spoke to themselves...it would have been so fun to go out in a date...

I would date a cis woman or a transwoman totally fine with that. Only problem is I can't tell when I am attracted to someone. My friend has to point out to me if I have a crush on someone for example and I rarely believe them. Also like Jessica I want someone who accepts me for me and not for what is between my legs.

If I was single I would be open to date within the community.

It is a double edged sword though I agree.  But hey, I am happy to use the term 'normal' for Cis as they are the norm, statistically speaking- but let's be clear I see trans folk as 'normal people' in the full sense too.

A trans friend put it this way... all of us trans are a little cracked or flakey at the edges simply because of the protracted stress that living with our situation puts on us (I have come to understand not just societal pressure but also biochemical stress from running on the wrong 'mones).  We are not trans because we are crazy, but having to deal with being trans would make anyone a bit nuttier.  I am totally bonkers, myself, but in a nice way :)
She ultimately married a transwoman (they are sooo cute together) but they are mature enough to have worked through the majority of their bad crazy and now can enjoy each others good crazy.  By comparison a young, recently transitioned couple I know are constantly dealing with each others dysphoric mentdowns- which seems to have a triggering effect on the other and you have this chaotic dance like planets forming- with understanding acting like gravity between them.  Also cute.

So I sit between these two couples on my train of thought about dating transfolk.  There are transgirls on here who I find breath takingly cute for sure!  I wouldn't care what's between their legs.  Currently not into guys but prehrt and open to whatever it brings.  There are certainly some bad ass guys around here :)

Yes, but honestly I think I'm more likely to meet a cisman that I click with than any ftm at all.

Lol... or we should get susan to add a singles dating forum. ;)

Quote from: Emmaline on January 07, 2014, 05:47:02 PM
Lol... or we should get susan to add a singles dating forum. ;)

I think that would be a good idea myself. Could give a few a outlet to maybe find a soul mate.

Isabell

It's possible that something like that would be more likely to attract ->-bleeped-<-s than be a within-the-community type thing.

->-bleeped-<-s.

:eusa_doh:

Not only would I date someone from this site. I married him. :)

I would love to date another trans woman! This thought has been crossing my mind a lot lately. I'd definitely would feel much more comfortable being intimate at least.

Quote from: Emmaline on January 07, 2014, 05:08:04 PM
If I was single I would be open to date within the community.

It is a double edged sword though I agree.  But hey, I am happy to use the term 'normal' for Cis as they are the norm, statistically speaking- but let's be clear I see trans folk as 'normal people' in the full sense too.

A trans friend put it this way... all of us trans are a little cracked or flakey at the edges simply because of the protracted stress that living with our situation puts on us (I have come to understand not just societal pressure but also biochemical stress from running on the wrong 'mones).  We are not trans because we are crazy, but having to deal with being trans would make anyone a bit nuttier.  I am totally bonkers, myself, but in a nice way :)
She ultimately married a transwoman (they are sooo cute together) but they are mature enough to have worked through the majority of their bad crazy and now can enjoy each others good crazy.  By comparison a young, recently transitioned couple I know are constantly dealing with each others dysphoric mentdowns- which seems to have a triggering effect on the other and you have this chaotic dance like planets forming- with understanding acting like gravity between them.  Also cute.

So I sit between these two couples on my train of thought about dating transfolk.  There are transgirls on here who I find breath takingly cute for sure!  I wouldn't care what's between their legs.  Currently not into guys but prehrt and open to whatever it brings.  There are certainly some bad ass guys around here :)

i will have to say i have noticed that online about the cracked stress type thing. i hope it gets better for everyone though. idk about everyone else but for me and some of the other girls i know cracked and stressed we are no more :)
well except when fighting during a large sale at Macys haha

I have had wonderful experiences dating other transsexual and queer identified individuals, and would never count a person's gender history against them, for me it just makes the connection richer and their soul deeper from what they have been through and transcended.

The first person I dated after I split with my wife was a lovely trans woman, who is still one of my best friends in the world and probably will be for life. Being with someone who understood triggers (for me, triggers from trauma and abuse were greater, but not that different from, triggers from dysphoria that I projected onto my body and my sexuality) and had her own to deal with, and was wise enough to take all aspects of our relationship slowly, gently, and with complete honesty - was immensely healing.

The second person I dated might have appeared at first to be a cisgender lesbian woman, except I knew from the start they were dying to start living as the guy they were, and I helped him transition during the whirlwind romance that ensued from our first meeting. Again, it was helpful to my progress as a whole person, to be with someone who understood and didn't assume about bodies and how they are mapped up here (points to head). The relationship ended eventually because we were too different in our emotional needs, but he was the first man I was ever with, and I am still grateful for the experience and all the things I learned from it. He did have a lot of kneejerk transmisogyny, which can be common in the cisborn lesbian community especially in the older crowd, but he did his best to overcome it and listen to his heart.

I would never allow myself to pre-judge a whole category of people based on previous experience with people sharing the same label, so I won't say that every relationship I have with a trans person will be great, or that cis folks just can't relate, because it only takes one. I personally identify as a queer woman of trans history, and draw my dating pool from the queer community, or the queer community is drawn to me, not sure which is which.

The last three men who wanted to date me were cis-men who turned out to have deep gender issues that I could help with, two that have joined the trans community and one that is in deep denial. So from my limited experience, I don't see that dating only cis- individuals would avoid situations where my partner has gender issues of their own.

The folks currently in my dating pool (which has been expanding as I grow more comfortable and confident in myself) includes a genderqueer person on the transmasculine spectrum, two queer-identified cis-women who are bi or pan, and one bi-curious/questioning straight cis-woman. I am trying to date more than one person at a time right now, because it forces me to not get all squishy and dreamy and planning my whole life around them, and will probably continue this until I grow up, or I decide to try again on an exclusive relationship.

Yesterday I made a post, I was kind of joking really where I referred to myself as crazy (which I more or less am) in reference to dating other trans people. It was actually intended to be clever, perhaps sarcastic but not hurtful. Appearently it earned my a negative rating. I approached the person but they were not very approachable.

In any case, I never intenentionally would harm anyone or be hurtful. I finally found the post on this thread and deleted it, if it still matters.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 06, 2014, 04:59:51 PM
I wouldnt mind dating a tran girl  :)

Id like it if we were the same age  :)

We could do many things together and we could understand each other  :)

But that seems kinda difficult...

;D

Id date a transman only because the weird, "THIS IS SO WRONG" sensors go off when i date a cis man. And cis women arent all that attracted to me that i know of.
The weird thing tho is, is it considered homosexual to date another who is in the third gender? Or is it only "sex" that is the issue?

Odd question but watevs. :p

Quote from: Emo on January 08, 2014, 10:24:12 AM
;D

Id date a transman only because the weird, "THIS IS SO WRONG" sensors go off when i date a cis man. And cis women arent all that attracted to me that i know of.
The weird thing tho is, is it considered homosexual to date another who is in the third gender? Or is it only "sex" that is the issue?

Odd question but watevs. :p

I say it doesnt even matter... ;)

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 08, 2014, 10:57:03 AM
I say it doesnt even matter... ;)

:D
I didnt think youd respond to that. Lol.

Quote from: Emo on January 08, 2014, 11:01:13 AM
:D
I didnt think youd respond to that. Lol.

I aways respond ,

see I even responded to something that is unrespondable  :P

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 08, 2014, 11:03:22 AM
I aways respond ,

see I even responded to something that is unrespondable  :P

Lol. If i was "single" id totally date you. :)

I think a singles form for dating would be helpful because so many of us are open to dating. lets face it the dating pool for trans people kind of sucks. There is no speed dating for trans folk. Or sites that are just geared for us. I'm on a dating site or so thats what the site is called but 95% of the people on it are out for causal sex. Though that can be fun I'm past it and want more.

I tried those sites. Not a path for me.
So im going the opposite route to see how that works out.
But youre right. Im sure theyll start popping up soon as the science and culture begins to evolve.

Quote from: Emo on January 08, 2014, 11:04:40 AM
Lol. If i was "single" id totally date you. :)

http://static.metanorn.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/haganaiNEXT-10-650x365.jpg

  :D  :P

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 08, 2014, 11:45:16 AM
http://static.metanorn.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/haganaiNEXT-10-650x365.jpg

  :D  :P

Access denied? :(

Hotlink isnt working..

Quote from: Emo on January 08, 2014, 11:49:14 AM
Access denied? :(

Of course not  :)

We would totally date , I just got a little embarrased  :D

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_abkMP58OLUA/TMVlPqYJsyI/AAAAAAAAVwk/SF5YnnqEEnk/s1600/xx%2BSmiling%2BShana.jpg

Quote from: FalsePrincess on January 08, 2014, 12:08:49 PM
Of course not  :)

We would totally date , I just got a little embarrased  :D

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_abkMP58OLUA/TMVlPqYJsyI/AAAAAAAAVwk/SF5YnnqEEnk/s1600/xx%2BSmiling%2BShana.jpg

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcyberia-anime.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F06%2Fkonata_super_excited2.jpg&hash=ac35ffd79d0d9357c77896474e23a41fbaa6ed5b)

It's possible that I could date a transman if I met the right guy and we mixed.  Many of the ones I've met are quite handsome and have good personalities.  However, if I'm being honest (and I mean no offense to anyone), I would have some concerns about certain physical things.  With that being said, I'm in the same boat, so I'm very sympathetic and understanding towards the situation.  If I met the right guy and we both respected the feelings of one another, it's possible we can make things work.

As for transwomen, that's a definite no.  I'm really not interested in dating any female (trans or cis).  It's just my personal preference and I mean no offense. 

When I went to my first support group I didn't think that I would be attracted to guys. And then a younger transguy walked in. Way too cute and it triggered a crush. Needless to say I haven't been back in a while for several reason but wanting to shake the crush has been a big one.

At this point however I'm open to experimenting with dating whomever.

could i date a trans man? heck yes! alot of them i have seen are not only fine but have great personalities.

Well they say going through the fire forges personalities.  Trans guys are demon fighters.

I would love to date a transwoman but I don't know of any in my area. A lot of the ladies on here are very beautiful and nice. :)

I find myself very open to dating anyone in the trans community. I've already done the cis hetero marriage thing, now it's time to branch out. I've seen some very cute trans men, and some knockout trans women. Whether or not they would be interested in me is the question  :laugh:

With that said dating is not my #1 priority at the moment; transitioning is. I don't expect to be mentally in a place to date until that's behind me.

im more open to dating trans people in general but more for the fact of like mindedness than anything else. im not really into trans men. i wont get into why lest i offend any.

but as an mtf in a backwoods town in indiana. i assume i wont be getting the opportunity to date anyone for a very long time anyway. and if i do the whole trans thing will remain a personal secret ( im pre op pre hrt pre out of the closet (mostly)) for obvious trust reasons.

While I am attracted to someone(apparently), I doubt I will ever get to meet them in person. It would be nice to have a go at an online relationship though as I feel that maybe the only way I will have one. But as I said before I am clueless when it comes to being attracted to someone or knowing if they are attracted to me and I have to be told on both fronts.

I am leaning more towards dating a tradeswoman at this point. I would date either cis or trans but I think trans is leading at the moment. I think it is more to do with mutual understanding.

Hell if I feel a connection with someone then so be it.

Well since the this thread has come back up I'll update it with where I am.

It's been a month and I am increasingly open to all. I like both masculine and feminine qualities. A person who takes good care of themselves and is open and can make me laugh is attractive to me.

I totally wouldn't mind dating a transgirl.  I'd be less hesitant about a post-op transgirl (just because while I know they aren't into their own junk I still feel like I'd have an issue by comparison of the two and their supposed function thereof [and I'm sure she may too.. to some extent]) but I wouldn't be against attempting to work through my own mental/physical shortcomings for the right lady. 

I've certainly seen a lot of beautiful transgirls out there! 

Quote from: GnomeKid on February 21, 2014, 06:37:23 PM
I totally wouldn't mind dating a transgirl.  I'd be less hesitant about a post-op transgirl (just because while I know they aren't into their own junk I still feel like I'd have an issue by comparison of the two and their supposed function thereof [and I'm sure she may too.. to some extent]) but I wouldn't be against attempting to work through my own mental/physical shortcomings for the right lady. 

I've certainly seen a lot of beautiful transgirls out there!

Funny you'd say that GnomeKid, several years ago an FtM friend and I used to meet at a local trans support group and later go dancing at a gay bar, we had a connection but I am married so we didn't act on it, but I know that under different circumstances it could have been a viable thing.

Quote from: Lana P on January 06, 2014, 04:52:23 PM
Since being trans I have dated briefly a post-op transwomen. I would also be open to dating a transman. I am more into men then I am into women. Also there was a story going around the net of a trans teen couple one m2f the other f2m. They were so cute together.

Would you date someone that was also trans? Have you dated someone who was trans. And what do you think of trans people dating?

Lets discuss

I date other trans people. I think being trans or queerminded in a way you get something in common you can talk about so it more easy to get to know each other.

I identify as pansexual and would definitely be open to dating anyone on the gender spectrum as long as we click.
At worst, it would be an amazing learning experience.

As long as she had the qualities I'm looking for in a partner, I wouldn't mind dating a transwoman.  Because of my dysphoria, I would be more open to dating a post-op woman or a pre-op woman that plans on having SRS in the future than a non-op woman.

I have never dated a trans person before.

I would love to date an FTM guy and have come close a couple of times, but things didn't work out in the end. I end up with hetero men just because there are so many more of them... I should really hang out in more trans-specific environments...

Im more attracted to trans men than cis men ;)

Quote from: amber1964 on January 06, 2014, 07:18:08 PM
Lana P

Let me be clear.

Some kinds of craziness and issues are fine for me. But I dont want to deal with the kind of issues another trans person has. Got enough of that kind of crazy. Thought a trans woman would get that. Not worth the chance to me, so much easier to find a normal guy or at least a guy without gender issues.

PS: Not necessary to speak down to me. Just communicate.

I've dated many cis women, and most of them wound up having some serious issues... My last LTR, and I still love the girl dearly, wound up having borderline personality disorder. That kind of crazy makes "trans crazy" incredibly mild.

In fact. In pretty much all of my relationships, I was the emotionally stable, calm, and collected partner. So, it was with great surprise to me that, after having a number of dates recently with a wonderful MTF, that I wound up being the total nutjob in the pairing. Didn't see that coming at all. Thankfully I realized it was happening, so I could step back and check myself, but sadly I had already scared her off.

It's a shame, too. Of all the people I've ever dated, NO ONE has gotten me... NO ONE has truly understood me... NO ONE, except her.

So. I can partially see where you're coming from. Lord knows no one should have to put up with the kind of crazy bitch I was being. But, to walk away from all trans folks just on due course means walking away from people like the wonderful woman I managed to scare away. She's going to make someone very very happy one day.

I would date anyone that was compatable with me and there was real chemistry between us. I would date a transman or transwoman pre or postop.

The more I think about dating the more I wish I could meet someone else going through transition like me thats female. I just have a feeling that my comfy level would be 10x better vs being with a cis woman at the moment. However not to say a cis woman couldnt make me feel just as comfy. To be honest tho I really have no clue, this is all speculation. I just love women trans, cis, queer. Whatever label idc, in the end its about chemistry as others have said.

If I were single or in an open marriage, I would date welcoming sis or trans male or female. I lean toward males for sexual lust but to females for companionship. With that said there is a gay guy I would absolutely fall for. I have a crush from afar now. I think if two people click then sparks will fly. After the sparks then the difficult parts starts which is relationship building.