Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This is something I have been thinking about in the recent few months. I really wonder what value, if any, that someone like me offers to the community except to prove that people like me really do exist out there. Other than that I don't really offer any help for surgeries or hormones or electro or legal issues since I did all of mine over a decade ago now. So I don't know how much any of what I say actually helps if at all.

For someone just starting out or right in the middle of making changes to their lives and bodies, is there anything that is really going to be or real value and not sound like so much ridiculous blather coming from someone like me who transitioned a long time ago?

I have no desire to be a role model for anyone, trans or otherwise. I have been invited several times over the years to join professional societies for women and even panel interviewed for one very prestigious and very exclusive female organization only to turn it down after being offered membership, simply because I honestly don't want to be looked up to. I know I have an interesting life, but I don't think it's outrageous. I'm successful yes, beyond the dreams of many people, but I don't want my life to be measured by a paycheck.

By the same token I don't want my life to be looked up to only because I have lived a life in 2 sexes. It's interesting and very few people in this world will ever get to do it, but I don't think of it as being noteworthy, especially now so many years after the whirlwind is long gone.

My thought when coming here was to be able to provide advice, but now I feel like my advice may be too old and dated. Maybe I belong to another generation of people of people now and not really relevant to any of today's discussions. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!!

Of course you do!!

Hearing it from someone who has been there and done that ages ago and then came out the other side OK is wonderfully reassuring.  If all the people like you disappeared, we might be more like the blind leading the blind around here.

Do you offer value? Absolutely! Your perspective and experience is greatly appreciated as are you... :)

Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 07, 2014, 01:24:35 PM
I don't really offer any help for surgeries or hormones or electro or legal issues since I did all of mine over a decade ago now. So I don't know how much any of what I say actually helps if at all.

QuoteThat is for the reader to decide what value the experiences you share brings to her situation

For someone just starting out or right in the middle of making changes to their lives and bodies, is there anything that is really going to be or real value and not sound like so much ridiculous blather coming from someone like me who transitioned a long time ago?

Quotewell, you bring the historical context of just how much harder was to transition in the last century

I have no desire to be a role model for anyone, trans or otherwise. I have been invited several times over the years to join professional societies for women and even panel interviewed for one very prestigious and very exclusive female organization only to turn it down after being offered membership, simply because I honestly don't want to be looked up to.

QuoteA pretty selfish attitude; we all have benefited from other people taking us under their wings as  a coach, a mentor, or a role model. In my opinion if you do not have the desire to mentor, then I am afraid you have little to offer to this site. You as an older transition lady should step up to the plate and be a "role model." Life is not only about you but about the difference you make in others people lives

I know I have an interesting life, but I don't think it's outrageous. I'm successful yes, beyond the dreams of many people, but I don't want my life to be measured by a paycheck.

QuoteHaving money, or having made moneys brings you security but in itself is not a measure of success, in my humble opinion. So, tell us a little bit more about what other success you have had in your life...what kind of legacy are you living behind?

My thought when coming here was to be able to provide advice, but now I feel like my advice may be too old and dated. Maybe I belong to another generation of people of people now and not really relevant to any of today's discussions. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!!

QuoteI just wrote what I think as you requested...

Zumbagirl - I very much admire the input you have on the boards.  You are a positive influence here.

Not an "old timer" at all!  You are like a big sister.  You have been through the wringer, and your little sisters can benefit from your experience.

The Wizard of Oz: A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.

You are loved here.

Zumbagirl,

Sometimes i feel we have a lot to offer but then other times i feel that some get jealous that we made it when they are feeling so down and out. It is the way i have started to feel. I will always be around if someone has a question and i would be glad to honestly answer. I am so glad this forum is here and many use it to give and get support. That was so hard to find when i started my transition. 

I have kinda did the same as you been more quiet and adding only a few replies now and then. I do come to the forums a few times a day and see whats new and check up on a few great friends.

Isabell

Izzy, you are another one who adds immeasurably to these boards.  Thanks for being here.  :)

The old timers help lead the way from all their wisdom and love.

Of course you contribute! We have lived life and know what is really valuable. Todays generation needs guidance just like yesterdays helped me out. It is good knowing the people here have an idea about procedures and meds from back in the day and you can give that. You know what works and does not work and how to live successfully after everything procedure wise is over. You are the Trans Yoda!  :)

I enjoy the advise from those that are more settled in their gender. Those who have done it all bring wisdom and kindness to those like me who are early in the journey. Yeah so it's been long since for some of you. But also do you enjoy not being a role model but helping others and passing on useful advice. If you enjoy it please stay. But we all must do what feels right and makes us happy. Isn't that why we are here?

Generally speaking, I prefer to read the posts by the "old timers" (Devlyn >:-)) the most. I rarely put stock into what those younger than me say. That's just me, but I have a high amount of respect for those who have come before me.

First off, when I started my transition, there were so many questions but they all kind of contained the elements of "What?" "When?" and "Why?".  Because certain things change over time, some of the details on the "What" change.  What type of estrogen delivery works best?. That has changed. Simply, there are more options now.  The questions of "When" can be answered by many.  However, someone who has completed the journey of transition carries more weight or authority than someone who has just started.  Lastly, the "Why".  So much of what we do, we never address the "Why".  However, the best answers to this seem to come from those who transitioned and have lived a life.  They can put the why into the context of a life not just a process.  It seems that so many people complete SRS and then struggle because they did not plan on a life.  Unfortunately, I don't see many discussion on this subject but I intend on starting a few.   

Secondly, there is a difference between a role model and someone who inspires.  A role model is a person who serves as an example, or whose behavior is emulated by others.  A person who inspires is one who stimulates action or motivates. These are very different concepts that we seem to have blended together and they should not be.  I don't want to follow anyone's life, I have my own. I do not need a role model.  However, to know that you exist, hearing your experiences, and occasionally heeding your advice is serious motivation for me.   

Thirdly, the population of transitioners seems to be pyramid shaped with the numbers starting transition greatly exceeding those who have successfully transitioned. As I move forward with my  transition the nature of my questions change and there are fewer and fewer capable of answering them.   At the very least, you can assist with those.

Fourth, the real newbies, those who are often so totally ignorant, need to know that this journey is possible.  A simple welcome in an introduction post by someone who has navigated the journey is HUGE!

Lastly, there are topics on here that really are not that related to transition.  You are an intelligent, thinking person.  We really need you in some of those. 

I hope this helps!

Hugs,

Jen

When I first came here, I found your posts to be particularly helpful. I don't remember exactly which ones because it's been awhile, but I distinctly remember that they gave me a sense of hope. So yes, you're helpful.

I personally really like the "old timers" being around. Honestly, the first bit of transition is such a rollercoaster - people who have actually "been around the block" have a perspective that I really believe those of us early in treating our dysphoria are nearly incapable of possessing due to our struggles.

Zumbagirl-

To echo what everyone else has said - the old timers bring perspectives to this process that us young timers really need. You have finished the race, crossed the river, done the impossible - while we are still working on it. Your experience that is important to us is never out of date - yes, the medical treatments have improved over time but the emotional side of it - the fear, confusion, pain, despair, hopelessness, happiness, courage - those have not changed and that's where your experience, wisdom, and encouragement really helps people.

I'm very thankful for people like you that have been there and done that and have guided this young girl through her own transition  8)

~Eva

My dear, ten years is a drop in the bucket! ;) "Old timers"????? I'd hate to think what that makes ME! (Transition and SRS in 1974 and coming up to by 40th re-birthday in a few months.)

Frankly I don't care if I am valued or not and they can't get rid of me - I am the group historian LOL!

Besides, who else can pass on the experiences of so many years of plain ol' women's life? After many years everything else just fades away and you are just a woman like any other. Someone should hang around to let everybody know there is a totally natural and mundane life on the other side!

;D

Quote from: Northern Jane on January 08, 2014, 08:25:45 PM
Someone should hang around to let everybody know there is a totally natural and mundane life on the other side!

That is the truth. It is just a normal life with a new scent of a woman.

Someday we will be replaced by the next old timers. And that will be a great day knowing others have beat the darkness.

Hugs
Isabell

You absolutely add value!

I'm well experienced in many things (an "oldtimer"). I do try an pass on knowledge and be a mentor in those areas.

I'm new to the whole process of transition (a "late-bloomer").

I truly appreciate the insight and wisdom from women who have made the journey and are well experienced in living life as the woman they are.

I look forward to the day I can just live as the woman I am without all the drama and stresses related to transition.  Currently I still have times where I need inspiration and times when I need assurance that a happy and mundane life after transition is achievable.

-Cindi

There were no forums when I first realised I was transexual.I'd have loved to have met or heard from someone who'd done it and got the T shirt.I hope I can be someone who can tell others that it will get better and one day it will all be over.I transitioned in 1991 and had my GRS in 1994 things have got better,there's more legal and employment protection,society's attitudes are better,surgical procedures have improved,there's laser hair removal etc.

Yes! Of course your experience provides insight to those of us starting out or in the midst of things.  Many transpeople learn and get much needed inspiration from those who came before us.  That's not to say that we will always agree or share your view, but that doesn't mean you don't have anything to offer.  You have a lot to provide and hope you will stick around. :)

Having said all that, you shouldn't stick around if you feel it's detrimental to your own sense of well being or happiness.  I know some people that have finished transitioning that want nothing to do with our community because they just want to move forward and stop focusing on the past.  There is nothing wrong with that either. 

I find great value from someone who has BT-DT.  If you care enough about helping others just starting transition, to share your experience, that is an incredible thing.   ;)