Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Pleasantly I can say things might turn out better than I had ever expected.
My Mother is more or less in denial, everything she tells me is just her trying to throw away what I'm saying and blame something else for it.

They think gay and transgender are the same thing.. which is really hard to get out of their heads but... I'm working on it.
There was some religious bs but I bit my tongue.

My Mother did say a lot of crap to try and detur me.. like making fun of how big my ears/feet are telling me I'd never look like a convincing woman.
Though with how many transition videos I've seen.... I just ignore that stupid crap.

My Father was.... interesting.
He straight up said he doesn't accept it, he isn't happy about it.
But he will be supportive... I won't be kicked out even if I do transition.

They both agree the biggest thing right now is that I get on an anti-depressant which... atm I don't feel like I need but that only because I feel this is really going to happen for me after all these years.
I feel almost high typing this.. like I can't believe this is reality.
I really didn't think I would have a home after tonight.

So there it is.. neither of them like it
But... I think they'd rather see me change my gender than kill myself.
That.... is obviously a very good thing.

So essentially they don't like it (no surprise) but... if it came down to HRT (and thats my plan) they still wouldn't kick me out or disown me.

I had more to write but as usual I can't keep my train of thought...

Im so happy for you. Its a brave thing to do. I remember telling my father, that did not go so well.

Sorry to hear that, yeah I honestly though he was going to hit me... kick me out, something.

He was very blunt but honest and supportive.
He doesn't like it, doesn't accept it, and not happy about it.
But he'd do anything for me, no matter what... and that he'd kick the crap out of anyone that made fun of me.

XD Don't think I've ever felt this loved before.
I was with friends the other night having a bit of a break down, and was suicidal.. They were there hugging me, trying to keep me calm.
I'm amazed at the support I have.

Congrats and good luck.

Doesn't sound like a total loss. It's nice to hear that your father is on your side, and that he's not gonna kick you out when you do transition. I've been there.

My advice to you is to take it slow and tread gently.

Quote from: Gina Taylor on January 10, 2014, 11:25:27 AM
My advice to you is to take it slow and tread gently.

Thanks, yeah... I really want to just get on with it but...
I do live with my folks and my Mother took off work.. she's been crying all day.

Who knows what my Father is going through at the moment...
It's going to be another interesting night.

Its done now. Thats the thing about being out.

I havent spoken to my father in nearly 4 years. Unfortunate, but no one needs to deal with negativity. He is 85, I wasnt surprised by his reaction.

As for your situation, give thought as to what you might do if things change. Have a plan for yourself. Its a volatile situation so as someone said, move carefully and take much care.

I knew this was going to be hard....

but somehow I didn't see how much harder it's going to get. It about kills me to talk to my Mother.
I'm strong enough now to be very blunt about what I want, but she just starts crying uncontrollably and she starts blaming herself.
I just don't know if I can take this... I think I really need to move out, they might love me but I can't do this around them.

You are a very strong person, congratulations.

Take my advice. Let it go for now. You said it, dont force the situation. Leave it be, I have a child and I would not like my daughter to tell me she was trans or even lesbian for that matter. Its not exactly good news. In time your mother may come around and be fine and your father may end up hating the sight of you.

In any case, take care of yourself and make a plan. Be realistic and since you were grown up and brave enough to reveal your nature then show the same in the ability to look after yourself.

Quote from: amber1964 on January 10, 2014, 06:15:26 PM
In time your mother may come around and be fine and your father may end up hating the sight of you.

I could see that unfortunately, I mean...
It's one thing to tell them I feel this way, it's clearly another thing to actually do it.

I have a backup plan for where to live, it's not full proof but it's something.

Honey, as a volunteer, I work with young trans women. At a shelter. All of them leaving home because they told their parents without a definite plan as to how, where and what they would do if cast aside.

Lots of young ladies there and not one of them is okay or doing well.

So, think really hard about your future because your parents have no obligation to help you, accept you, support you or even talk to you. They may or they may not. Its unpredictable.

I know one thing for certain. People who prosper in life, in anything they do, they always are thoughtful and careful and mindful of consequences. Not impulsive, those people rarely do well at all.

I could list endlessly the disadvantages of being old. But the one single advantage is experience. You need a fool proof plan, where you will live, how you will earn a living, what you want your life to look like. Set your eye on those goals and work hard knowing unexpected things can happen. Its the best chance for success and not ending up a statistic.

Im sorry if this seems harsh. But in real life actions have consequences. Please take care for yourself always. No one is going to do it for you.

Thanks for your information/support.

I'll look into 'my plan' a bit more...
I still think my folks thing therapy is going to get rid of these thoughts... though I know it won't.
I do have at least 1 place I could stay if I had too.

I also have a work at home job online which is a good thing, but it would mean I'd need to have enough PTO time to move my computer (which I don't) should something happen in a pinch.
I'm thinking I might start staying with friends and work at this part-time, come home when I have to for work, etc...
Until I get to HRT and I need a more permanent place to stay.

I like the sound of this post a whole lot more. Work on it and polish it.

Yes, therapy. Its the cure all for your parents generation, im guessing they are 40ish? Younger than me for sure. I had therapy starting at 13. Of course, it was a different kind than what they do now. Mine involved electric shocks and sleep deprivation. Now they just mostly talk a lot.

So far things are going well....

I don't talk to my Father much.. but that really isn't anything new, I'm just embarrassed to talk to him about all this atm.
My Mother is still an emotional wreck but seems to be really trying to understand, she is also going to start therapy to deal with everything.

I've started dressing around friends who I've already told and I'm starting to dress around my folks too... I hope that in 2-3 months they'll manage better and I can go full-time.
I'd like to start HRT in 3-4 months. Wish me luck.

Good luck, Hun

That's so awesome!  You must feel a burden lifted off your shoulders!  Things can only get better from here!!! (: