Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay, I made it sound like a general thread for discussion of VDay in the subject, and I want it to be that as well, but I also have selfish motivations. I'm sorta, kinda, but not really I guess long-distance dating someone who happens to be FTM. He's gay, I think, but obviously at least bi or pan. We met at Porcfest in NH and later we decided to get to know each other better over the phone. Fortunately, he's not on this forum so he won't see this.

So anyway, talk about VDay and how it's just this huge commercial event with brilliant marketing and all that. But if you want, tell me what might be a cool surprise gift to receive in the mail from a casual dating situation that would not scream "too much, too soon, omg we're just talking on the phone!" but more "It's nice that you're thinking of me and this is as good a day as any". And I picked this section because I want to hear guy's opinions for obvious reasons. I have a Prime membership on Amazon, btw.

A hand written letter, possibly with photo/artwork of a shared hobby or joke.

Quote from: LordKAT on January 26, 2014, 04:03:08 PM
A hand written letter, possibly with photo/artwork of a shared hobby or joke.

Oh dear. He's actually an artist. I'm not.

Quote from: dalebert on January 26, 2014, 04:38:35 PM
Oh dear. He's actually an artist. I'm not.

That doesn't stop you from showing a photo of some artwork you like. A line like this reminds me of.....then add something a touch personal like where you met or other memory.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi895.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fac158%2Fnapalmdeathfan13591%2FRandom%2520Pics%2520n%2520Stuff%2FMampDV-Daycard.jpg&hash=0bfc8da32ff83fb72ef1f1e7b2301e3a636b686c)

I just want to say that it is refreshing hearing someone be sensible. Two of my friends only recently started dating and are already talking about marriage.
I agree that something small, but thoughtful would be a good idea.

You know, I will ask the husband. We don't celebrate vday anymore because we're a couple of old married farts (started dating in highschool... Man). But he always seems to have the best surprises for me and because we are pretty laid back, it's never anything expensive.

I would second sending him a letter. It's old fashioned, but I have a handful if letters from Joe when we lived in different states and when he lived overseas for a short while that mean the world to me.

I'll ask husband when he gets home for some ideas, and I'll add to it once I've thought it over. But I do want to say its nice to see happy posts like this. I know a lot of us are worried about finding someone who has a genuine interest in us as people, but things like this are great to hear. :)

Food any type of not super perishable food that he really likes. maybe if he likes kit kats a lot send him a box full of kit kats with a note. As kit kats aren't cheesey and valintinesy or a nicer version of a food he likes that he wouldn't buy himself. In example, if he likes chocolate with almonds send him the gourmet kind that he wouldn't normally buy for himself. Plus since food doesn't stay around it isn't a super serious gift.

I agree with letters. I send my girlfriend a letter every so often because I'm away at work, normally on special days like her birthday, or our 2 years (I went a bit OTT then and wrote 8 pages haha) but sometimes just randomly.

I've brought her the Camp Takota thing as well, but that's more of a coincidence that it comes out that day. She did send me a pair of shoes the other day that were for Christmas/2 years/valentines day because we don't really do valentines day.

I just got his snail mail so I think I will have to send at least a simple letter early just to avoid suspicion. And then I'll probably send some letter along with some small food gift.

I agree with the idea of a nicer version of a food he likes. Food gifts aren't even a weird thing to get from a friend, so it should be casual enough to not be a "too much, too soon" gift. Plus, tasty gifts are awesome.

I have always been against any typical valentines day gifts. Even from people I was in long term relationships with as I was always annoyed at the concept that they thought it would suitable to give me something on a halmark holiday when really what is suitable is to show me how they feel on any other than than valentines day when they didn't feel obligated to. Just my opinion and not judging anyone that chooses to celebrate valentines day.  That said, the only gifts that didn't rub me the wrong way were things that were not at all along the typical valentines day nature (flowers, candy, food, romance, cards, etc.) I was only ok with the type of things you would give someone for a birthday, christmas, etc that are not meant to be more of a romantic nature. So if they are into sports buying tickets for a game, if they're into video games buy them a video game. You get the idea the type of gifts you would buy a friend or family member for other holidays.

I admit I think I am in the vast majority here with the bad view of valentines day but might give you more of a safe zone going this route if you want to avoid any type of "too much too soon" romantic feeling.

when is Valentines day? I know it around my birthday but I always forget as I am pretty forever alone single and care more about my brithday.

I never really cellebrated Valentine, I had some kind of frindship alike-valentine once and I had beef&->-bleeped-<- day which I guess is the less wellknown and romantic version of Valentine day. ::) but being single Valentine isn't that fun so it not something I really give much thought.
--
now im not a big "dater" (or whatever to call it) but I do have many long-disctance friendship, and also dated in long distance.
I think anything person you made yourself or which somehow is special for you is fun to get.
getting special handmade chokolate who is only available in in your area ex.

if you want you could make a these geake-letter
which are paper cuts in pattern with poems on. we use these for easter in my country but it not really easter, but maybe he would find it funny, there rather easy to make :P


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XgiBG0_OaEM/S7MOa7W6z-I/AAAAAAAABOI/Q39YcgQotLE/s400/g%C3%A6kkebrev.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7xEsMfEvC6M/TZnUc-EOUOI/AAAAAAAABnE/ela8HJbAlDM/s1600/_TRB1986.JPG

Valentines is Feb 14. Those cut outs look like the snowflakes kids make here. Same idea anyway, but without poems.

Something I thought was cool was take a print or postcard. Then you paint over the image. It's like paint by numbers, but slightly harder. When I was grabbing paint supplies at craft place an employee showed me one someone had done. it was really cool.