Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey ladies,
My girlfriend broke up with me this Tuesday and I'm really sad :'( I'm really trying to get over her and cheer myself up but I'm not sure how.
Love,
Kayla

Aww I'm so sorry for you Kayla. I know it hurts and can dull life, but it will get better in time, believe me.

I too lost my girlfriend during transition. It was over year ago now, and while it doesn't hurt any more, I still think about her on occasion.

Hugs to both of you :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

I lost my wife last month :(

Been together for 9 years, we were everything to each other, but she couldn't stay with me during transition, and I honestly feel like I will never find anybody like her ever again...

Wait that's not supportive...that's just further depressing...I'm not very good at this ^^;

Erhm ok...supportive...right...here goes

-deep breath-

We will get through this, even if there is only an infinitesimal chance of attaining the same or similar degree of happiness later in our lives, we owe it to ourselves to keep striving for that.

Because if we wont, nobody else will do it for us.

Pick yourself up, focus your attention inwards, do what you need to do to make yourself feel happier, and when you feel strong enough again, start afresh.

The world is huge, and full of amazing people and wonderful experiences just waiting for you to step out your door and discover.

Never give up. <3

Think of it as an opportunity to be with someone who will love you as you want to be.

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on January 30, 2014, 10:53:11 PM
Hey ladies,
My girlfriend broke up with me this Tuesday and I'm really sad :'( I'm really trying to get over her and cheer myself up but I'm not sure how.
Love,
Kayla

Quote from: SammyRose on January 30, 2014, 11:04:49 PM
I too lost my girlfriend during transition. It was over year ago now, and while it doesn't hurt any more, I still think about her on occasion.

Quote from: Danniella on January 31, 2014, 04:49:55 AM
I lost my wife last month :(

Been together for 9 years, we were everything to each other, but she couldn't stay with me during transition, and I honestly feel like I will never find anybody like her ever again...

And my 35 year marriage ended two weeks ago today.  When it hits home we suddenly know how to hug each other. 

So hugs girls. 

I'm sorry she broke up with you . It takes time to get over people . But look at it this way. It's a chance to date and find someone new who will treat you even better

Sorry to intrude, but can a guy join in the thread?

Add me to the list as well: my girlfriend made it apparent to me earlier this month that she no longer wanted to be with me so I feel your pain. -HUGS-

It can take a long time to get over someone and to cheer yourself up.  I'm still trying to figure out how to do that myself. 

If you are in a financial position to do so, you could go treat yourself and maybe a friend/family member or two out to lunch.  That way, you can be around people you love and maybe even feel happy that you are treating others out, even when your sad.

The next idea would cost a bit more money, but you could plan to really treat yourself and go on a vacation.  I know when my second-to-last ex broke up with me, I had planned on going to Anime Expo and cosplay because I wanted to cheer myself up.  I did what I could to save up the money.  Well sadly, a little thing called transition got in the way so that money I saved up has to go towards, surgery, but I still plan on taking that trip eventually.  Maybe you can plan a vacation to a place you always wanted to go to and save up whatever money you need.  I found that saving/making extra money to fund towards my trip actually cheered me up quicker because I was working towards something I really wanted.

If that isn't in your financial power either, then give yourself a small treat if you can that's around $5 if you can do that.  If not, then just verbally ranting to yourself can do wonders.

Feel free to let everything out and cry if you feel the need to for a couple of days.  I know I did.  After that, then try your best to pick yourself up and strive towards your future like others said, because if you don't do it, no one else will, and nothing will ever get done.

I feel your pain, sister.  I know it hurts, but you don't have to go through this alone.  You have Susans and from what it seems like in the other comments, plenty of people that has gone through/ is going through what you are right now.  You will get throgh this.

To you and all of the other ladies going through this right now: hang in there.  I think you are all special, wonderful, beautiful strong women.

**hugs for all**

I sorry, I know it hurts. I think you mentioned your in high school and I can tell you it happens quite a lot in those years. I even think you mention you still have a year to go. Those are the times people search for there paths in life and its quite complicated and confusing . a lot of dating and figuring out what path to take. Your so not a lone with this phenomena .

It gets better......that's all I can say.

A few years ago, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me...not ten seconds after I told her I wanted to transition....I never thought I'd find another like her.....and I was right......

It took me a year to get past her, but eventually I found someone else, someone much more supporting and loving....now we have a kid and a farm and are happier than we've ever been.

The previous girlfriend wasn't a good person for me, despite the good times we had......but I couldn't find someone right for me without loving myself, and I couldn't love myself without transitioning.  Transition is the road to something better.....if you let it be

maybe it is something in the wind, i just placed a call to a divorce attorney for some advice as my marraige of 26 years is falling apart at a rapid pace so sign me up on the here is a hug list.
very sad for sure for all of us but it is also a new beginning with endless boundries or restraints

hugz to all
Jerri

Know its not your fault first and foremost, that is the important thing here. I lost my first love when I was 20 years old, I told her I wished I was a girl one night when we were cuddled on the couch. She went nuts and called me an abomination and refused to speak to me again. It took a while, but I know now that I was honest and she treated my honesty as a bad thing. In the end she did not deserve me if she could not see me for who I am. So like I said its not your fault that it happened and things will hurt, this is normal as we are human, but it will improve with time  ;)

I didn't even tell her that I wished I was a girl :'( I was really into making the relationship work because she lives in Blue Springs, about 25 minutes from Lee's Summit where I live. Somewhere between the beginning of school and the end of second hour, she was taking longer than usual to answer my messages. I got a text later saying that she was really busy but that she was at lunch so she could talk for like 20 minutes, she said she had to go 3 minutes later. I asked her sometime after that if we were ok and she said yes. Then at about 4:00 that afternoon, she called and told me that she didn't think she was ready for a boyfriend, and oh yea, that dance we were going to go to together...she wouldn't be going to that either. On top of that, I think she may have blocked my number so I can't apologize because I feel like it's totally my fault :(
Love,
Kayla

At this stage in life, I guessing your 16 or 17, it's no ones fault it just happens. I was dating this girl when I was 18 and I thought things were strong , then one day her x came to the door and she wanted me to hide.

Ouch, Stephanie. That would be horrible

yes it was . It hurt a long time

I honestly dont understand that mindset of fake liking someone then lieing to their face that everything is fine. Just to turn around deny everything you ever did or said. Im sick of this mindset of people thinking this is the "nice" way of breaking up. Well reality check to them because this is called being fake and a big fat lier. So hopefully they roll down a hill of broken glass.

Ive had this happen to me and my person couldn't understand why I didn't get the "hints" that they didn't like me. Aka not responding to me in any way beyond face to face. It was always fun and smiles then bam I'm a creeper for messaging them one day... Tired of school children drama..

That's my rant for the day  :P

Broken glass is a bit extreme. Thank you so much for encouraging me Natallie. I wish I didn't have to deal with school drama either but I'm in high school so I really can't get away from it....
Love,
Kayla

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on February 01, 2014, 11:11:15 AM
Broken glass is a bit extreme. Thank you so much for encouraging me Natallie. I wish I didn't have to deal with school drama either but I'm in high school so I really can't get away from it....
Love,
Kayla

If people would just be honest and not abuse peoples emotion then it would be extreme. But since this is using someone then I dont find it extreme at all. Hehe

Your welcome Kayla, I hope you find someone more true to you than what's cropped up. No one deserves a person like that holding them down.

How would you recommend finding someone like that? I just want to feel loved and taken care of. What do you mean cropped up?

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on February 01, 2014, 11:24:20 AM
How would you recommend finding someone like that? I just want to feel loved and taken care of. What do you mean cropped up?

I wish I had that answer. My best guess is to be honest and true. Maybe someone else will be as well.

Hmm I have more Kansas in my talk than I realize. Cropped up refers to a plant suddenly growing out of the ground in front of you. Be it for good or worse.

You live in Kansas? I live in Missouri! I still miss her, just the same. I really need to connect with Kayla i.e. my inner girl more, but my parents are kinda unsupportive

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on February 01, 2014, 11:11:15 AM
Broken glass is a bit extreme. Thank you so much for encouraging me Natallie. I wish I didn't have to deal with school drama either but I'm in high school so I really can't get away from it....
Love,
Kayla

My advice to you is honestly don't date until you are out of high school and in college if you decide to go.  There's just too much drama in high school to deal with relationships.  I say just focus on your studies for now and wait for some of those students to mature.  It can be hard to find mature, college-aged partners, let alone people in high school.  It may be hard, but it may pay off in the future to do that.  Focusing on inner Kalya right now the best way you know how in your situation would be best. 

Well hello neighbor ^^. Girl its not easy, ever... There is much loss as I'm discovering each day. But this path is about you and who you are. Your at an advantage right now for your change and if its what you truly want then push hard for it. The longer you wait after age 12 the less the magic will work. I fought myself from a early age about this and I regret suppressing it until now. I'm only 22 and I think life would already be less depressing and more me if I had made it known around age 15. Its ultimately your choice and your life. But for me I dont want these same regrets if I wait until age 30,or further.  I'm at the end of the prime time for HRT to work completely. Your in the green zone and the best results will happen now. Its your choice and only you can make it.

My parents completely despise my devil like self for wanting to be woman. I'm bombed with many bible quotes every time I speak of my thoughts. So you and I still have the chance to keep our families if we play our cards right. This change will happened with or without them for me. I can only pray they will be as loving as they have always promised before.

I'll be here for you Natallie, if you'll be there for me

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on February 01, 2014, 11:52:07 AM
I'll be here for you Natallie, if you'll be there for me

I pinky swear  :) , contact me anytime you wish. I enjoy speaking with people. ;)

Ok :)

Gosh ! I am so sorry to hear about all the break-ups and my heart goes out to everyone...its soo sad, but there is hope and courage from living our lives and being true to ourselves, which trumps everything else.
I'm sure it will get better and you may even find someone that accepts and loves you for who you really are. That alone is so exciting !

Many hugs
xxxx 

So exciting Ana. Thank you

I did PM you Natallie :) If that's ok....

Sounds like what happened to me a few months ago. I started helping out this girl I have worked with for awhile (giving drivers lessons because no one else would), started to get to know her, and developed a little crush on her. One day shortly after, I finally got the courage to ask her out (kinda lol, I did such a terrible job at it, was so awkward....). At first she said no, sort of, then a few hours later, texted me back and said I thought about it and would like to try. So I continued to help her as I was before and date as well now. I really liked her and I was always there for her. She would send me text messages every day, all throughout the day, and we would talk at night until she fell asleep.

One day she sort of annoyed me; she went to her mom's house for a bit, and couldn't get back home (stays with her dad). She had school the next morning so she asked me to pick her up and take her home. I did pick her up, but I was a bit mad about it, because her mom's house is like 20 miles away from where we both live. Afterwards, she texted me asking me if everything's all right between us, cuz I seemed a bit mad when I picked her up, and I admitted I was a bit annoyed about it and I apologized for it. We set something up for the next day before she fell asleep.

The next day I called her and she said something came up and that she'll talk to me in a little bit. I was sleepy so I said ok, I'll take a little nap, call me later. An hour or so later I hear my phone beeping, had a text from her. I read it and it said, things not working out, I think we'd be better as friends. I ended up going back to sleep, I was really depressed and heartbroken. I texted her back later on, asking if we could talk about things, and got a similar response. I wanted to try to fix things, see what went wrong, see if things could be ok, but she stopped replying.

Anyways, I still see her one day a week at work, and things are still weird between us. At first, she wouldn't even talk at all to me, but over time we started talking again a bit. Now she acts like we're friends at work, but otherwise, we barely talk anymore. Never did find out what happened between us yet either.

I knew going into it that we both had issues though; she's kind of "slow" and I have many issues as well. Having spent time with her tho, and getting to know her a bit, I figured maybe we could work around things. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, who knows? Looking back, and maybe even during our relationship, I had a feeling that she wasn't all that into me; I just ignored it.

The right person is out there kayla, you just got to sort through the garbage to find them. Breaking up sucks but it gets better over time. You're still really young and you've got plenty of time ahead of you to find the right one.

-Kelly

Wow Livingthedream that sounds so much like my situation. I really do feel that she liked me though :-\ It was really weird how it all played out

Ya, I feel like she likes me too, in some way. We still talk at work but I'm trying to back away from that slowly, because it still hurts and I'm still upset with her. Still, seems to me like she sort of used me tho. That's what hurts the most.

Yeah, I totally get how you feel :icon_shakefist: This honestly isn't the worst relationship I've been in. It's been one of the best

Quote from: Oriah on January 31, 2014, 02:10:13 PM
It gets better......that's all I can say.

A few years ago, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me...not ten seconds after I told her I wanted to transition....I never thought I'd find another like her.....and I was right......

It took me a year to get past her, but eventually I found someone else, someone much more supporting and loving....now we have a kid and a farm and are happier than we've ever been.

The previous girlfriend wasn't a good person for me, despite the good times we had......but I couldn't find someone right for me without loving myself, and I couldn't love myself without transitioning.  Transition is the road to something better.....if you let it be

Your story gives me hope. I really really hope I get a happy ending like yours.

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on June 25, 2018, 08:05:50 PM
Your story gives me hope. I really really hope I get a happy ending like yours.

@Charlie Nicki:  This is for you.
   
          Most of the important things in the world
          have been accomplished by people who have
          kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
                                   -Dale Carnegie

Love ya girl,
Hugs,
Danielle

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on June 25, 2018, 08:05:50 PM
Your story gives me hope. I really really hope I get a happy ending like yours.

@Charlie Nicki

Someday your true love will be right it front of you.  I know of two ladies here that met after being alone and are truly happy now.  Love has a funny way of finding participants!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Your a dear friend from day one!

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on June 25, 2018, 08:13:49 PM

@Charlie Nicki:  This is for you.
   
          Most of the important things in the world
          have been accomplished by people who have
          kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
                                   -Dale Carnegie

Love ya girl,
Hugs,
Danielle

Thanks Danielle, yes hope is all we have.

Quote from: Jessica on June 25, 2018, 08:21:54 PM
@Charlie Nicki

Someday your true love will be right it front of you.  I know of two ladies here that met after being alone and are truly happy now.  Love has a funny way of finding participants!

Hugs and smiles, Jess
Your a dear friend from day one!

Jess, you're a great friend. Sending you hugs.

To Everyone in this thread who is feeling heartbreak, please keep in mind that in each relationship, we learn a little about ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner.  That said, I know how it hurt all too well.