Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Yesterday I had a major argument with my mother (not related to my trans issue)...it was realy bad and we have at our home a big supply of medicines for her depression and some ansiolitics...

I was so angry and couldn't stop crying...then I've decided to take 2 pills of Lorax and one of Alprazolam (I never used any of them before, so my metabolism is not used to this kind of medicine)

After half an hour I was feeling calmer (not toooooo calm, I had just stoped crying) and them I've decided to go to the shopping center buy some clothes and have lunch there (one thing I always loved to do)..

When I got there the world started to feel so light, my mind was on a different place (Just to state, I hate feeling drunk or getting out of my counscious state)

But then... who knows what happened next?

Today I woke up and I quite don't remember a lot of what I did. I can remember some things, but just isolated images and I can't really get them together.

I don't remember having lunch, but I have a photo on my cellphone of a big piece of Pizza Hut...(pepperoni, by the way hmmmm)

Then here comes the worst (or best)...

I went to the hair saloon and asked for an ANDRO HAIRCUT and I asked the girls there to MAKE MY EYEBROWS!!!

After that it seems I also also agended a photodepilation for my beard to this next monday...

Oh god...I don't know why I made that......I am still presenting in boy mode, just 4 months on HRT and slighly changes until now...but now my eyebrows are clearly more thin and feminine...they were not arched thanks god, but they are much thinner than the one on my avatar picture, that was the original way my eyebrows were...now they are like this:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.image-share.com%2Fupload%2F2421%2F97.jpg&hash=8b4ba5275c351d879a015adb13d3d65234b5081b)

Too feminine? Perhaps it is just my imagination after all...but my MOTHER NOTICED...(luckly i am out to her)

At least my hair is more or less the same...due to my previous male pattern baldness problems there weren't too much hair for the hairstylist to work...but except by the hair on my crow (that is too short,) the rest is on a more feminine cut...oh god!

I am happy about my visual getting this revamp, but at the same time I am scared because I didn't come out to my friends...

And I am also wondering that if I would take one more of this pills if I wouldn't be coming home with a nice pink dress and wearing make-up! :) (I think I'll try a few more lol)

well, not to sound parental , If these pills aren't your prescription , you shouldn't be taking them because you might end up dead. Sorry , but I was a drug abuser and almost died , its not fun.

Quote from: Natalia on February 01, 2014, 08:29:01 AM
Today I woke up and I quite don't remember a lot of what I did. I can remember some things, but just isolated images and I can't really get them together.

That symptom is exactly the same as mine the day after drinking alcohol beverage too much.

Your eye brows look nice, and what is the matter?

barbie~~

alprazolam has the  side affect  of amnesia . It is also quite addictive

Quote from: stephaniec on February 01, 2014, 09:58:49 AM
alprazolam has the  side affect  of amnesia . It is also quite addictive

Very true. I asked my primary care doctor for alparazolam to combat anxiety just last week. He told me that it is highly habit forming and he generally does not prescribe it. He described the effect as "alcohol times ten". In the end he prescribed me a different medication for anxiety.

Quote from: barbie on February 01, 2014, 09:34:55 AM
That symptom is exactly the same as mine the day after drinking alcohol beverage too much.

Your eye brows look nice, and what is the matter?

barbie~~

Thank you! I was really needing to do something about my eyebrows...lucky me that my "drunken" self did it for me once the "boy" me was to ashamed to get into a beauty saloon full of women and ask "please, can I have my eyebrows made?"

I was only afraid of getting weird looks because it is obvious that I have my eyebrows made, but I'm not caring about it anymore. In the way of transitioning into a woman many weird looks will cross my way, I have to go on and live with it.

Quote from: stephaniec on February 01, 2014, 09:31:37 AM
well, not to sound parental , If these pills aren't your prescription , you shouldn't be taking them because you might end up dead. Sorry , but I was a drug abuser and almost died , its not fun.

Yes, I know...it was not very responsible of my part...I know how bad it is....my mother has problems abusing pills and my father died in a car accident after mixing pills and alcohol around two years ago...

But there are days when I am so sad and angry at the same time that I feel I will end destroying my house and hurting myself if I don't take out some thoughts of my mind...I though that a few pills would help a bit.

Quote from: stephaniec on February 01, 2014, 09:58:49 AM
alprazolam has the  side affect  of amnesia . It is also quite addictive

Yes...I remember the name, aterograde amnesia...

I have only got drunk two times in all my life and I have never experienced amnsesia before...first time...

I remeber I got a "high" sensation while I was under the effects of alprazolam, but I don't find it really addictive. I hate not being in control of myself...the worse my problems may be, I still want to fight them with my own mind, and not run away and hide on some pills...althought I usually run away of my problems and play addictive games like World of Warcraft :/

Ambien psychosis is a common problem. You're essentially in a sleep state, shedding your inhibitions and the haircut and eyebrows were what you wanted. Next time see your medical provider kiddo. Enjoy the new cut!