Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Believe me. I love guys. LOVE EM LOVE EM LOVE EM. And I'm quite a sexual person, I have no problem with that. Sex and love is NOT the reason I want to transition, but being comfortably able to does play a bit of a part in it.

Going on HRT apparently causes you to lose your libido either partially or entirely, which really bothers me. I still want to think of guys just as sexually as I do now. I want to desire sex with the exact same intensity.

While unrelated to my desire to transition (there are a hundred other reasons that overwhelm me in life that make me want to transition), I do love glamour. I do love sex. I want to look beautiful. I want to be a bombshell. I want to be desirable. I don't think it's shallow because it's not my reason to transition, as I said. But I feel that that one part of my femininity will come out more when I do make my transition.

I do not like that HRT lowers libido. I know that people will say they loved when this happened, but it feels like such a waste that when I will finally be comfortable to engage in sex, I won't want it as much! It really sucks =/

Well, honestly, if you are that concerned about losing your libido if you start HRT, then maybe you need to reconsider some things. Most therapists will probably see this as a bit of an issue.

It's a reduced libido, or other words... it's a woman's libido. I think you'll be fine.  :)

It also depends what your looking for in another person.

Don't confuse the loss of erections with not being horny.  It's just easier to hide when willy and the boys are sleeping.  Women get very horny and so do transwomen.

Yes, if  you totally nuke your T levels to below that of a ciswoman, then you might not get horny.   With good estrogen levels and normal (for women) T levels you will do just fine.  You will have to figure out how to make love without an erection,  but that's not that hard to figure out.

Randi

Quote from: Ahn A. Sabbatical on February 01, 2014, 04:29:44 PM
It's a reduced libido, or other words... it's a woman's libido. I think you'll be fine.  :)

Oh, I didn't know your libido also got converted to that of a woman's. Nevermind then!

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on February 01, 2014, 04:26:12 PM
Well, honestly, if you are that concerned about losing your libido if you start HRT, then maybe you need to reconsider some things. Most therapists will probably see this as a bit of an issue.

But it's not like I won't transition because of it. I'd rather die than not transition...it's my future and I know I can't live without it.

Well I can kind of relate to this, since I really didn't have much libido to begin with. Like I hear other MTFs talk about staring at girls breasts or at guys broad chests without really meaning too, like a primal urge and that never really happens to me, so whatever libido I have isn't enough to distract me.

So far I hadn't really noticed much change there, and I kinda hope that when I increase my spiro does things stay close to how they are now, I can be interested in sex and sexual things, but basically only when I want to be. To me this seems much closer to how my cisfemale friends feel, they certainly have some libido and it seems abnormal to me to have no libido whatsoever.

This is one area I have always found a bit difficult to relate to, my cismale friends and the preHRT trans women I know seem to have a Libido that is so strong it interferes with their life and I have never expierenced that (then again I naturally have no Adam's apple and a bit of male breast growth so maybe I always had low T).

Quote from: Ahn A. Sabbatical on February 01, 2014, 04:29:44 PM
It's a reduced libido, or other words... it's a woman's libido.

Lower or different?

It is SO different, but it will not leave, it may take some practice though. Practice is fun.

Quote from: Chic on February 01, 2014, 04:41:17 PM
But it's not like I won't transition because of it. I'd rather die than not transition...it's my future and I know I can't live without it.

I understand that. But unless you know someone that works via informed consent or you self med (which is a bad idea), most therapists will see that as an issue that needs to be discussed.

Maybe i am old. Maybe i am confused.

I have been on HRT since 1999 and the reason a transgender goes on HRT is for the Effects? Am i right on this one?

So if i am still understand the whole transition process you only do things that you want to do, Am i also right on this one?

Cross hormone therapy (HRT) is given to change ones gender hormone level to be in a range of the other gender. 

So really my question is being i already know these answers is why do you want to start HRT if you do not want the effects?

Anyway good luck in your future path. Only do what you want and not what others say or do.

Isabell

My interest in sex is as much or more than before HRT.

not to be provocative , but I thought the true source of the problem was gender not sex.

Ha!!! I have a stronger sex drive now than i ever did before hrt (started 4 months ago).

So you may be okay. What I wanna know is how do you LOWER your sex drive?

HRT will lower your gender drive. :p

Punny, Steph.

Since it sounds like a lot of your current libido is in your mind - you WANT these things as well as physical desire - you should be fine. They say most of sexual fun is mental, after all. ;) I'm not trying to be flippant, actually. That's pretty much how it worked for me.

And I'll be another to second that it's not that libido disappears, any more than cis women have zero libido. Personally, what disappeared for me was only the sort of libido where my *mind* wanted to be playing video games but my dick was sitting there, all by its annoying self, insisting that it wanted something else. The instant my mind was engaged, and another person was involved? I could do zero to sixty on the horniness scale as fast as ever before. I had T levels solidly in the female range and was both as responsive mentally and capable as ever down below (damn it) if I wanted to be (I mostly didn't).

Quote from: Tori on February 01, 2014, 05:55:57 PM
HRT will lower your gender drive. :p

Punny, Steph.

what species do you become with lower gender.

You wont lose your libido with hrt , hrt will just lower it ,,,

Just so you wont be thinking about sex etc all day long...

I'd rather think of my gender all day long any way.

me and my wife has had very long talks on this .I am just starting my hrt and at this point we know there be lose of libido.where already learning for us to use toys and our female softness (mental and touching ) A bonus is to feel this before loose of male sex drive( i have 25 % male 75 %female at this point ).In my almost 50 years of being male i have always put her female O first and her satisfaction this has help me .I am rare girl here because i do not plan to do anything with my lower bits (to me i will be very happy girl like this ). I know now the female Orgasms that ive already have had is so much more than intense then males short little one that theres no turning back !!! But i will be best mate and give my wife every sexual perks i can .. To girls who what please there wifes or female other with there male bits (others might not like this mind set but very small lot of us do )here is what i feel when were making love .when making love to my wife theres still strong bits in her sweet spot (not 100%like 70%hard )but she has great ORGASMS .MINE IS not that male must push it in deep thing but its still feels good but when i have my Orgasm its super short and as soon it happens instantly  changes to my breast and rest of my body .breast get swelled and buds under nipple love deep rub .my whole body has a 10 minute orgasm .If true male had this orgasm he would be all done (poor boy) .This girl and her wife is in love and plan to adjust our love life to be great for all .I believe you can be the female thats inside of us and have health marriage too . thank TROI

Libido and sex drive are not necessarily the same thing. HRT lowers your sex drive, or your compulsion to have sex. Libido is your general interest in and willingness to have sex.
(Disclaimer: I know that secondary definitions of libido can be synonymous with sex drive, but that is why said definitions are both secondary and synonymous.)

Many girls find that their libido increases on HRT. You will not necessarily become a less sexual person, and may in fact become a more sexual person if how you change makes you more comfortable and your innate, psychological desire for sex is strong. HRT -- or the reduction in testosterone -- only mitigates the rate and spontaneity of primal sexual urges.

Again, if you really like sex, like to think about sex, or are fascinated by sex, there is a good chance your libido will remain the same or increase. If sex is just a thing that you do to comfort yourself and relieve your instincts, then you might find it's a much smaller part of your life.

QuoteIf sex is just a thing that you do to comfort yourself and relieve your instincts, then you might find it's a much smaller part of your life.

Sex is what keeps that burning question churning in my mind.... just how many kids do I have out there in the world? The 80's were a blur, the 90's weren't much clearer.

Things are blurry now but only because I need glasses.  :(

Quote from: Chic on February 01, 2014, 04:18:40 PM
Believe me. I love guys. LOVE EM LOVE EM LOVE EM. And I'm quite a sexual person, I have no problem with that. Sex and love is NOT the reason I want to transition, but being comfortably able to does play a bit of a part in it.

Going on HRT apparently causes you to lose your libido either partially or entirely, which really bothers me. I still want to think of guys just as sexually as I do now. I want to desire sex with the exact same intensity.

While unrelated to my desire to transition (there are a hundred other reasons that overwhelm me in life that make me want to transition), I do love glamour. I do love sex. I want to look beautiful. I want to be a bombshell. I want to be desirable. I don't think it's shallow because it's not my reason to transition, as I said. But I feel that that one part of my femininity will come out more when I do make my transition.

I do not like that HRT lowers libido. I know that people will say they loved when this happened, but it feels like such a waste that when I will finally be comfortable to engage in sex, I won't want it as much! It really sucks =/

It doesn't lower it, it changes & controls it.

Have a talk with a female friend about her sex drive, she'll tell you how often she's 'toey", but the triggers are changed

Quote from: HelloKitty on February 01, 2014, 05:53:43 PM
Ha!!! I have a stronger sex drive now than i ever did before hrt (started 4 months ago).

So you may be okay. What I wanna know is how do you LOWER your sex drive?

^ THIS!!!!! ^ Me too! My sex drive was very minimal before HRT. Once I started HRT it shot through the roof! (1yr 1 mo. on HRT now)

I also want to know how to LOWER my sex drive! Please! at least a tad.

Chic,  I say try them and if you don't like the results, stop and get off hrt or get a lower dose. goodluck! oh and if your worried about function, I think its all mental, I was scared to lose it too. Still works fine if not better!

Quote from: Sybil on February 01, 2014, 08:21:16 PM
Libido and sex drive are not necessarily the same thing. HRT lowers your sex drive, or your compulsion to have sex. Libido is your general interest in and willingness to have sex.
(Disclaimer: I know that secondary definitions of libido can be synonymous with sex drive, but that is why said definitions are both secondary and synonymous.)

Many girls find that their libido increases on HRT. You will not necessarily become a less sexual person, and may in fact become a more sexual person if how you change makes you more comfortable and your innate, psychological desire for sex is strong. HRT -- or the reduction in testosterone -- only mitigates the rate and spontaneity of primal sexual urges.

Again, if you really like sex, like to think about sex, or are fascinated by sex, there is a good chance your libido will remain the same or increase. If sex is just a thing that you do to comfort yourself and relieve your instincts, then you might find it's a much smaller part of your life.

I think she hits the nail on the head! very well said.

My sex drive didn't necessarily lower it just turned... different. Like instead of all the blood rushing to my panties when I get aroused I get all super tingly in my stomach to the point that its just a teensy bit painful. I always called it "fireworks," at least I did before I found out that this is what most people call "butterflies." It feels more like electricity than anything though. In any case, it is much much much much much much much more pleasant than getting a boner.

I am a very sexual person , and in a way , I guess I didn't started my hrt earlier because of my sex drive (on one hand because I didn't want to loose it and on the other hand because I spent pretty much all my free time downloading/watching  porn ).
Interestingly , although I loosed all my sex drive that doesn't bothers me (I guess is like an addiction that is protecting itself from getting rid of by constantly reminding how good is it  :D)
Also , I am still a sexual girl , but only at a mental level (I get butterflies in my stomach when I get aroused , before hrt I experienced both that , erections and more .Also it was much more intense , it was getting me crazy). From what I remember , I would say that now I get  less than what I felt in my preteens years .
I didn't had sex since starting hrt , I am willing in a way , but the hardcore part would be mostly as a 'favor' to the partner , I would enjoy more the foreplay , games and the feeling of being appreciated .