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So, I've been informed that I'm ugly. A guy online said it. Some crazy lady yelled it at me on the street. My ex-boyfriend said im busted. So i dont see the point in transition. I just dont anymore. What to be alone. I think it's over its been a year, or well, since sept. 25 but i was on a low dose before then since March 2, 2013. I posted a lot of pics, so just tell me the truth. I don't want oh you're so pretty cause it's not true. Or I'm jealous. Or this or that. A lot of you are attracted to women so you could really help me. I'm not going to kill myself or something stupid if someone tells me the truth: i'm hideous. It's fine. I'm just going to detransition. Don't mince words. This is very serious and I need answers. Please help me.

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Joanna, you are not ugly. Did you have a lot of acne in your youth?

you look normal to me except your blue.

You only think you're ugly because you had morons define ugly for you. They are not right.

You are beautiful.  Keep that at heart  where  idiots can't get in.

I agree with Yas. Your facial structure is fine. You've got very pretty bones in that there face. The lighting isn't good in any of those pics and yeah, your skin is *way* oily/shiny. Perhaps you just need a better skin care routine? Seeing a dermatologist and maybe getting dermabrasion (it's okay from time to time) will reduce the effects of the acne scarring.

I will say you look actively andro (or kinda dyke-y/soccer mom don't give a ->-bleeped-<-) in your appearance and that might freak some people out because, like <sarcasm> oh my god, isn't it totally your job to look as absolutely gorgeous in the way all the magazines tell you to look as you can at all times?!? I mean, you're a woman right?! THAT'S YOUR JOB!!!</sarcasm>

P.S. - For the thread, you might want to do a little face maintenance, put on translucent powder, and take a shot in the mirror with a completely neutral face (or bitchy resting face as my clique calls it), and one with your face like it would be as if you were talking to someone on the street. Let us see a little more of you than just the face, too. If we're gonna need to be upfront with you about all the things, we'll need all the facts, ma'am. Your photos seem either very pensive or you're making a lot of silly (duck) faces.

You saw something in the mirror you didn't like after someone said something to intentionally hurt you? 

There's your proof that you're female.   Guys generally don't have that reaction.

Most of the time those comments are a childish way to hurt your feelings. My X would say the same thing to me when she was pissed.

Be the women you are everyday honest to yourself and the .ell with what others think. I am who i am, just as everyone else is who they are. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder means that different people will find different things beautiful and that the differences of opinion don't matter greatly.

Hugs
Isabell

there's more to life than being pretty.

In my opinion, you're not a knockout by any means but you do have a nice smile.  At any rate, you're passable.

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on February 05, 2014, 12:40:16 PM
I agree with Yas. Your facial structure is fine. You've got very pretty bones in that there face. The lighting isn't good in any of those pics and yeah, your skin is *way* oily/shiny. Perhaps you just need a better skin care routine? Seeing a dermatologist and maybe getting dermabrasion (it's okay from time to time) will reduce the effects of the acne scarring.

I will say you look actively andro (or kinda dyke-y/soccer mom don't give a ->-bleeped-<-) in your appearance and that might freak some people out because, like <sarcasm> oh my god, isn't it totally your job to look as absolutely gorgeous in the way all the magazines tell you to look as you can at all times?!? I mean, you're a woman right?! THAT'S YOUR JOB!!!</sarcasm>

P.S. - For the thread, you might want to do a little face maintenance, put on translucent powder, and take a shot in the mirror with a completely neutral face (or bitchy resting face as my clique calls it), and one with your face like it would be as if you were talking to someone on the street. Let us see a little more of you than just the face, too. If we're gonna need to be upfront with you about all the things, we'll need all the facts, ma'am. Your photos seem either very pensive or you're making a lot of silly (duck) faces.

^ This. Victoria said it much better than I did. In trying to look at your photos and find something 'wrong', the only thing I notice is it looks like you have some scarring (and if their definition of 'ugly' is having a little acne scarring, they're ridiculously petty and nasty). But as has been mentioned, the lighting is not flattering and may emphasize any 'flaws'. You do have a nice bone structure and very pretty features. You look like any other woman out there. There is nothing 'ugly' about you.

There is nothing wrong with you, Joanna. Keep in mind that people will often just say things that they think will hurt most because for whatever reason, they want a reaction - and in the case of a woman, one of the most hurtful things you could tell her is that she is ugly.

I had a friend one time who said the only way I could get any uglier was if I got fat. And, well, 10 years later, I did get fat! Lol. But I have enough people who don't find me ugly, and in fact, think I am handsome.

Or like when I am walking and now and again someone will yell "->-bleeped-<-got!" It's not because they look at me and think "that man walks gaily, that indicates to me that he must be a homosexual and I dislike him for that." It's usually just immature people who think it makes them look tough or BA to yell at some short young-looking guy out of their car window.

Quote from: birkin on February 05, 2014, 01:05:09 PM
There is nothing wrong with you, Joanna. Keep in mind that people will often just say things that they think will hurt most because for whatever reason, they want a reaction - and in the case of a woman, one of the most hurtful things you could tell her is that she is ugly.

I had a friend one time who said the only way I could get any uglier was if I got fat. And, well, 10 years later, I did get fat! Lol. But I have enough people who don't find me ugly, and in fact, think I am handsome.

Or like when I am walking and now and again someone will yell "->-bleeped-<-got!" It's not because they look at me and think "that man walks gaily, that indicates to me that he must be a homosexual and I dislike him for that." It's usually just immature people who think it makes them look tough or BA to yell at some short young-looking guy out of their car window.

Exactly. Ugly and fat are among the worst things to call a woman. Sort of like ->-bleeped-<- or pussy to a guy. They can't call you fat, Joanna, so ugly is the best they can come up with.

And this:

Quote from: Oriah on February 05, 2014, 12:55:02 PM
there's more to life than being pretty.

Don't fall into the trap of obsessing over your looks. You are so much more than a body to be looked at (http://www.beautyredefined.net/to-be-or-to-be-looked-at/).

The beauty is there. Believe in it. Nurture it.

Treat yourself the way the way you would treat a precious child. Would you call a precious child ugly? Would you suffer to let a precious child listen to someone else tell her that she's ugly?

You owe yourself no less.

Don't listen to the voice inside you that calls you ugly. Don't listen to anyone else who calls you ugly. They obviously have no taste. Treat yourself with kindness in your self-talk.

You deserve it. You're a special, valuable, beautiful woman.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on February 05, 2014, 12:19:23 PM
So, I've been informed that I'm ugly. A guy online said it. Some crazy lady yelled it at me on the street. My ->-bleeped-<-got ->-bleeped-<-ing ex-boyfriend said im busted. So i dont see the point in transition. I just dont anymore. What to be alone. I think it's over its been a year, or well, since sept. 25 but i was on a low dose before then since March 2, 2013. I posted a lot of pics, so just tell me the truth. I don't want oh you're so pretty cause it's not true. Or I'm jealous. Or this or that. A lot of you are attracted to women so you could really help me. I'm not going to kill myself or something stupid if someone tells me the truth: i'm hideous. It's fine. I'm just going to detransition. Don't mince words. This is very serious and I need answers. Please help me.

First let me say this: life is too short to put up with some bull->-bleeped-<- a guy on the internet said.  On the Internet, particularly the internet, it is waaay to easy to be an ->-bleeped-<-.  You can be the most vile creep on the Internet with very little to no repercussions.

Secondly, if you do de-transistion you are going to be in the same boat before your transition.   The effects of hormonal feminization are different for everyone and for some people it takes several years before it is fully complete.  I'm not the one to tell you what to do, you have to do the soul searching, but ask yourself why you transitioned in the first place, and then ask if you are really wanting to go back to that.

Lastly, society treats transwomen the some of the same ways as they treat ciswomen in regards to degrading us.   The easiest way to hurt a ciswoman is to tell her she is fat, ugly, manly-looking, etc.  This translates to transwomen as well.

I think you look okay, as some have suggested look into treatments for your acne-scarring.

-AM

Hey Joanna!

That realy sucks that people have been vile. People have a multitude of reasons to say a person is ugly, ranging from jealousy, to non attractiveness related passive-aggressivity to their own personal preferences. Sometimes it just so happens that a number of people say the same insult at the same time, but perhaps for different reasons, many not related to actually having anything to do with your looks.

I agree with FA and Victoria, too. Your facial structure looks great, nicely defined and quite delicate, but not manly. Skin seems to be shiny and scarred in places, yes. And hair is short and not appearing to have been styled. I genuinely don't think your ugly at all. You appear to have quite a understated appearance, which some people might say is "plain". You definitely have an andro-style I agree with that too. Are you wearing any makeup btw?

I find that most women look "plain" without makeup, because society is so used to seeing impossibly made-up women.

Unless the definition of ugly has been changed in the dictionary... those people who called you ugly need corrective eye surgery. I'll admit the lighting in the pictures isn't ideal, and as Victoria said; there is a bit of scarring... but both lighting and scarring are quite fixable :) but you are SO not ugly...

People take advantage of what they know and find out exactly how to push your buttons, so they will if they feel motivated enough to do so ~ Like FA said; you want to get a rise out of a woman? Call her fat or ugly ~ out of a man? Call him a ->-bleeped-<- or a pussy... Most of the time these insults come out of jealousy or heat of the moment anger, and usually never carry any weight =P

I don't know what being ugly has to do with detransitioning.  Whether you're ugly or not is subjective if you're talking about surface attractiveness.  My question is why would you want to be ugly and detransition?

I got called ugly by some fat assed bitch the other day.I told her to go **** herself

Thanks eveyone, I feel much better. I shouldn't said that about my ex cause he did call me and the only reason he said it was because I kept bugging him, so he became really annoyed. He has his problems but he is actually really nice and I'm fine with just being friends since he has been a great friend. I wouldn't have made it this far in transition without him. He even said stop being so stupid when we walk down the street guys stare at you up and down all the time and don't let some random guy on the internet ruin your lifelong dream. That's ridiculous. He got back with his ex and he I always knew he loved her I was just hoping it wouldn't happen but I do want him to be happy even if it's not with me.

But yeah, the lighting is horrible. I took the pics with a broke a$$ Palm Pixi with a 2 MP camera that sucks. The scarring is from 2008 when I thought I could get rid of my dysphoria if I took steroids and I also thought my ex would get back with me if I could be more of a man since you only dated me cause i'm so femme acting and looking. But, anyhoo, the steroids did one thing: they made my dysphoria worse and I got horrible boils all over my face that literally oozed out puss. It was disgusting. I wouldnt go outside it was so bad. But it went away but left bad scars.

But I do feel so much better. I don't need to be pretty; I just want to be attractive enough to get a man or a masculine woman or an FTM. It doesn't matter as long as he or she is dominant since I'm submissive.

I just got a new job and the first thing I am going to do is get laser hair removal for my face. I don't have much, but it's enough that it stops me from dressing how I want. That's why I look so andro and plain. I stopped wearing makeup cause the shadow just shows through and I'm just sick of it. But soon, like in a month, that will be gone. Then I am going to get me face resurfaced to reduce or hopefully eliminate the scarring. After that, I'm going to get my nose straightened (it's been broke three times from being to femme which is a big no no for a guy). After that, I'll start styling my hair and wearing makeup again. Now, I just wear mascara and some eyeshadow and CC cream.

I mean I know Ill never be on the cover of Vogue but how many women are: .00001 percent. It was just all these things came together and I should prolly see a therapist. In fact, the Mazzoni Center ordered me to find one. Plus, I could use one, according to my ex, my doctor, and a host of other people. And yeah know, if I want surgery, I need to. I have just been to so many since I was 12 I'm sick of it. But what can ya do.

Again thanks again, I want to say thanks individyually, but everyone has been so helpful, I'll just give a virtual group hug xoxox Thanks so much.

The whole I have delicate features thing really made my day btw. I'm not asking for the world or to be Jamie Clayton or Charlie Somik Chan, Just me. And just a little pretty if not a little dykey. But that's just how I am, kinda dykish. Every girl I ever dated has been a lesbian. Straight girls would never date me. Well, once, but she dumped me when I couldn't perform since, ya know, I need a masculine woman or a man.

Okay, Thanks so much to everyone again. You've all really helped me. When I get paid, I'll donate just cause of this. wow, im stunned. xoxox

I think I do get you, and what you are asking for.....

So here it comes from the expert...................well, maybe not an expert but someone qualified.........................well........................OK someone who has no idea but wants to say something anyway!

You look very feminine, yet there are areas of your facial proportions which can be improved.

Now, as to calling someone ugly or beautiful, one needs to first know this person in depth, then and only then, can one bestow such shallow depiction of "what the observer seems to observe"

If you have a need to alter your facial proportions to those of a mainstream concept of esthetics, you should research the field of FFS (facial feminisation surgery)
I do have a deep knowledge of such, and in my eyes, you would need to have a Rhinoplasty (nose) and Mentoplasty (chin)

I believe that these would make you feel more mainstream, and perhaps would calm your insecurity.

Both of these can be performed fairly inexpensively and so you could start saving a bit at the time to put away enough for such correction.

Now, no surgery nor visual alteration can make someone beautiful, such comes from their heart and radiates outward for others to see. Please understand that majority of us humans here on this rock, are quite insecure and while shouting out about others, they really covering up their own insecurities!

All my love, Inna

Quote from: Joanna Dark on February 05, 2014, 12:19:23 PM
So, I've been informed that I'm ugly. A guy online said it. Some crazy lady yelled it at me on the street. My ex-boyfriend said im busted. So i dont see the point in transition. I just dont anymore. What to be alone. I think it's over its been a year, or well, since sept. 25 but i was on a low dose before then since March 2, 2013. I posted a lot of pics, so just tell me the truth. I don't want oh you're so pretty cause it's not true. Or I'm jealous. Or this or that. A lot of you are attracted to women so you could really help me. I'm not going to kill myself or something stupid if someone tells me the truth: i'm hideous. It's fine. I'm just going to detransition. Don't mince words. This is very serious and I need answers. Please help me.

1. A guy online with anonymity called you ugly. Uh, OK, probably says the same about his mom or sister.
2. A "crazy" lady. She's crazy dear, write it off.
3. An "ex" boyfriend. No big surprise there.

Baby look at the credibility level of these people. None, zip and nada! The family members here have given you some suggestions to help you out which are good, honest and caring. Funny, not one of them came close to calling you ugly at all. I think you look better than most cis girls. At least you are comfortable with who you are, very few cis girls even have that working for them. You are fine, so cowgirl up and be proud of who you are and take comments for what they are. Simply they are opinion of people who are negative to begin with. Please continue transition if you so desire. There is no reason to stop unless YOU want to. :)

Quote from: innainka on February 05, 2014, 02:52:10 PM
If you have a need to alter your facial proportions to those of a mainstream concept of esthetics, you should research the field of FFS (facial feminisation surgery)
I do have a deep knowledge of such, and in my eyes, you would need to have a Rhinoplasty (nose) and Mentoplasty (chin)

I believe that these would make you feel more mainstream, and perhaps would calm your insecurity.

I know I need a nose job, cause like I mentioned, it was broke three times. But, no offense, I don't think I need chin surgery. My chin is fine. In fact. If it got any smaller, it wouldn't be there. But thanks for your help. I need minor things done. As mentioned, I dont need to be a super model and I pass fine, I just dont like being called ugly. IDSK, now I feel like...nevermind. I know you're trying to help but  my chin is literally an 1.75 inches long. But you're just trying to help so it's okay. I'm just having a very bad day.

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 05, 2014, 02:31:46 PM
I don't know what being ugly has to do with detransitioning.  Whether you're ugly or not is subjective if you're talking about surface attractiveness.  My question is why would you want to be ugly and detransition?

I dont understand you're question. Being ugly has everything to do with transitioning for some. Not everyone has thick skin. Im extremely sensitive. Maybe you're not and that's cool. But If I can nver find a partner cause I'm so ugly, why transition. To be an outcast? No thanks.

I just mean if you're unhappy living as male, then you're going to be unhappy living as male.  Being in a relationship isn't everything.  Being happy as yourself is likely the only way you're going to be able to live a happy life, boyfriend or not. 

Hey Joanna,

I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work with your boyfriend and that you got heckled.  Don't let other people get you down though.  There are jerks in this world and sometimes they take it out on others.  It doesn't make them right either.  In any event, I'm really glad to hear you found work and are planning on starting laser.  Hopefully that will be a good omen that things will be looking up.

Really? Are you serious? Sweet heart you are far from ugly. I am pre everything and I am still attracted to women right now. And if I was not married, I would definetaly be interested. But being totally honest. I am just not a fan of short hair. And omg that lighting. The lighting does not do you any favors. And then on the other side if the coin. If I look half as good as you I  will be very happy.  So screw the haters. They are just jealous.

Big big hugs.
Norma Lynne

Trust me, I have seen some ugly people in my time here on Earth, and you are most definitely not one of them :).

I wouldn't mind seeing a pic of you in different lighting, but I don't need to in order to tell you that you shouldn't have a problem continuing on your life as a female and passing. You are definitely not ugly.

You should not listen to those people. I think from my opinion with your other pictures, you look female too me and very nice looking person. Your skin tone really cant be seen well with this lighting and i think it looks a lot better than what the camera and lighting show.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on February 05, 2014, 03:56:16 PM

Quote from: innainka on February 05, 2014, 02:52:10 PM
If you have a need to alter your facial proportions to those of a mainstream concept of esthetics, you should research the field of FFS (facial feminisation surgery)
I do have a deep knowledge of such, and in my eyes, you would need to have a Rhinoplasty (nose) and Mentoplasty (chin)

I believe that these would make you feel more mainstream, and perhaps would calm your insecurity.

I know I need a nose job, cause like I mentioned, it was broke three times. But, no offense, I don't think I need chin surgery. My chin is fine. In fact. If it got any smaller, it wouldn't be there. But thanks for your help. I need minor things done. As mentioned, I dont need to be a super model and I pass fine, I just dont like being called ugly. IDSK, now I feel like...nevermind. I know you're trying to help but  my chin is literally an 1.75 inches long. But you're just trying to help so it's okay. I'm just having a very bad day.

I really don't think you need anything done. If you want to fix your nose (I don't know what it looked like before, but looks fine to me) or scarring, that's fine. But I don't think it's necessary. And to be honest, perfection just makes one less interesting, not more.

About the comments - you never know what people are thinking. I used to get nasty comments about my appearance as a girl - at times when I knew I looked good. I've had a few walking down the street too. Women are sometimes just nasty to other women. And men can be nasty about a woman's appearance just for the sake of being nasty. I doubt there's a woman alive who hasn't been called ugly no matter her looks.

Quote from: FA on February 05, 2014, 06:27:53 PM
I know I need a nose job, cause like I mentioned, it was broke three times. But, no offense, I don't think I need chin surgery. My chin is fine. In fact. If it got any smaller, it wouldn't be there. But thanks for your help. I need minor things done. As mentioned, I dont need to be a super model and I pass fine, I just dont like being called ugly. IDSK, now I feel like...nevermind. I know you're trying to help but  my chin is literally an 1.75 inches long. But you're just trying to help so it's okay. I'm just having a very bad day.


I really don't think you need anything done. If you want to fix your nose (I don't know what it looked like before, but looks fine to me) or scarring, that's fine. But I don't think it's necessary. And to be honest, perfection just makes one less interesting, not more.

About the comments - you never know what people are thinking. I used to get nasty comments about my appearance as a girl - at times when I knew I looked good. I've had a few walking down the street too. Women are sometimes just nasty to other women. And men can be nasty about a woman's appearance just for the sake of being nasty. I doubt there's a woman alive who hasn't been called ugly no matter her looks.

well to be quite honest my face is a mess because I got hit hard in puberty by acne. I've dealt with quite a lot of morons in my life that had nothing in their lives to be happy about other than trying to make other people unhappy by saying mean things.  my facial structure came mostly from my mother. the acne came from her too. I can live with it because she lived with it.

Joanna, you have great bone structure.

1 year may not enough time for the hormones.

You commented about the minor nose work and others commented on derma abrasion, powder, lighting and too close. Other than that perhaps some Life-Cell  Retin-A cream may provide some skin smoothing ( I have some on order as a trial). There is a trial that just cost shipping, less than $5.

One more thing. A picture is simple yet has many components to look well, as many expressed. A woman is very complex and yet very simple too. We will do a thousand things and have surgeries and anything else but what we really want is to be relevant, loved and appreciated.

Honey your not ugly,those eyes are amazing btw :)

People who say those things are probably insecure about themselves and just can't resist the urge to take it out on others.
They're weak, your strong. Don't let them get into your head. Chances are, with a mindset like that, they don't amount to much anyway.

Stay proud girly, :)
Hugs

There's really a whole lot more to a person than what people see on the outside. No you may not ever be a supermodel or grace the cover of glamour magazine but so what, how many of us are? I have seen extremely beautiful people (guys and girls) that were uglier inside than anyone I have seen less than beautiful on the outside. I have also been attracted to people without any kind of physical attraction in the beginning just by getting to know them. Usually when name calling gets thrown into the mix it is because of someone else's own insecurities. Let it go and don't let it bother you. I too have been called ugly by some people that I though were worst off than me looks wise and have been called good looking by others. Don't let it play on your insecurities. Honestly I am attracted to guys and girls and I would date you.

I'm sorry your having to put up with this. Girl world can be cruel. People out unrealistic standards on females. But going back to trying guy life? I don't think you will like that. If your unhappy with your appearance you can always do like other woman and even men do and get some surgery for it. I know others will say that's wrong, or talk a stand, blah blah blah. But the truth is if you want to change your appearance then your can. Heck. I think that's part of transition getting to look like we feel we are.

Honestly, if I looked like you, all the man cloths I have would be on their way to the Salvation Army right now.

(//)

Try going out in a skirt looking like me :)

Seriously though, you have what it takes. Some people just suck.
Attitude is all when dealing with people. I was once told no one would ever get in my face because it looked to them like I was getting ready to feed them their own arm. Now, I am not violent at all but used to be very guarded when dealing with strangers.

Being submissive might make it more difficult, but if you work at it you may be able to cultivate an attitude that makes people rethink before they talk like a moron.

I don't know if there is a god, or if we will ever have to answer for what we do in this life. One thing I am ABSOLUTELY sure of is this. If there is a judgement, no one is going to ask the mean street girl, the internet idiot, the irritated ex or Barack Obama to answer for your life. It's your life, it's the only one you have and they DO NOT MATTER!

Smile sweet girl, we are here for you!


GRRR! There was supposed to be a picture. How do I do that?
Michelle

Joanna, you have to stop judging yourself by your bf and listening to what people say. You only feel the way you do because you give their words power. They mean nothing and you're better than that. Get tough, set a goal (that doesn't start with finding a bf) and get at it. You're so much better than you give yourself credit for.

Beauty is only skin deep.. Ugly goes right to the bone.

Beauty is more than just looks.

A lot of wise words are spoken, but i fell over one sentence of you Joanna Dark , the "So i don't see the point in transition" Make me wonder why you want to transition ,if it,s because you are happier as a girl ,then why stop ? Go for it girl. You should look on google for movie stars without makeup :) Remember to that we all look different to the world ,so what is stunning for one is a wet towel for a other.
Just try to be happy

WTF Joanna, don't listen what others say to you. People just tend to call all TS ugly pure hate even they are pretty. You might not be a bombshell BUT YOU'RE IN NO WAY UGLY. I personally find you cute. You look like a child-lady.

You're so lucky of how you look so young (35) at 54 years old that you are as you told once.

My personal advice to fix stuffs that will make you prettier is just a Rhinoplasty + a deep chemical peel that'll make texture of your skin even, that's ALL you need and you're done.

Joanna, I agree with the others that your bone structure is fine. You have a feminine face, but I agree with the rhinoplasty assessment too, but feminize it a bit because the rest of your face IS quite delicate. Your selfies are almost always unflattering by either angles, lighting or both. I also think that getting laser hair removal will help in more ways than you can even realize right now. I don't and wouldn't leave the house without makeup. You're a girl, Joanna, so get the de-transitioning crap out of your mind!!! In 2005 I finally broke down to my primary care doc that I'm transgendered and he sent me to an endocrinologist, who promptly put me on a small regimen of estrogen, but after two months I quit, which upset her greatly. She told me she'd had many TS patients and I was probably the most dysphoric of any she'd had, so she told me I'd eventually be back, either to her or someone else. Then she posed a question: "Since I know you'll be back, how many years will you waste before you're back?" She was sooo right and I wasted six years of time I can never get back and which turned out to be even worse than those wasted decades before. I finally actually attempted suicide for the third time, after trying it on the installment plan for those six wasted years. I've been happy for the vast majority of my 29 months of living as a woman since September 7th, 2011. Don't even think about detransitioning, Joanna, you'll never pass as a male! You already look female, but you'll look immeasurably better with your hair longer or however you WANT to wear it, facial hair removal, makeup and rhinoplasty, and with those things, confidence. You're not ugly now, you could just be prettier with what you've already mentioned and with more time on hormones. You're a good, sweet, intelligent and caring woman on top of all the rest. How can you possibly think you're going to wind up alone and lonely? You're a catch, girl! Hugs, Mira

Yeah boyfriends can be jerks and other woman for sure can be cruel in what they say. Know yourself and take pride in what you have accomplished

You actually have some very, very nice features to your face that a lot of women don't have - the shape of your eyes is unusually nice, and the overall symmetry looks remarkable. If you're going to get anything done, it would be very helpful to get more opinions and advice from people who have already gone through or are currently looking into surgical procedures(s). The yahoo FFS2 users group for Facial Feminization surgery (FFS) is one such online support group. To get to it, go to:  https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/ffs-support/info.

I don't believe that Rhinoplasty is considered a difficult or complicated procedure, yet there can be many different outcomes, depending on the surgeon and his/her particular aesthetics. You'll find a lot of experiential testimonies as to the work of different surgeons performing different procedures, in this user group. You may also post questions and participate in discussions, as well. Some of the members are just exceptionally kind and helpful with the information they provide.

To join, follow the instructions in the Group Description section. When you are a full member, you can receive daily email of all the postings to the group. But it's a good idea to think about how to manage up to 20 emails (sometimes) per day from the group, if you set yourself up to receive email updates.

About the concept of 'ugly' - I'll share a little bit about myself. When I was 16, one day I was shopping in a department store and happened to look into one of those 3-way mirrors, the kind where you can see yourself from an angle, and on that day and in that moment my life changed, forever. I was instantly horrified when what I saw was someone too hideous, too grotesque to even bear looking at. For reasons of nature and biology, part of my faced looked like it had been literally caved in. I had never before seen someone so ugly as the person I saw that day in that mirror. It was funny, though, as over the years when I looked back at pictures that were only a few years old, I always saw someone who was in many ways quite good looking. Only I could never, NEVER see it in the moment. If this is you, or even if it isn't, get some stencil letters from the store and stick them on your bathroom mirror. Write the words, "I am BEAUTIFUL." And never forget it.