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I am about 2 weeks from starting hrt. I'm sexually and romantically attracted to women, i don't find men attractive at all. But what i do find attractive are penises. I am extremely aroused by them and i dream of having sex as a woman. I'm attracted to penises but not to the men themselves. Does anyone think that i may become attracted to men after hrt? Im kind of scared of this, but it wont stop me from beginning hormones

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on February 10, 2014, 06:36:15 AM
I am about 2 weeks from starting hrt. I'm sexually and romantically attracted to women, i don't find men attractive at all. But what i do find attractive are penises. I am extremely aroused by them and i dream of having sex as a woman. I'm attracted to penises but not to the men themselves. Does anyone think that i may become attracted to men after hrt? Im kind of scared of this, but it wont stop me from beginning hormones

Can't say what will happen to you. I'll tell you my experience.

I am still attracted only to women. I'd kind of like to be attracted to men, so I wouldn't stand out from other women so much, but doesn't seem like it's happening.

I've always had the desire to be penetrated. That hasn't changed one way or other with HRT.

Sexual orientation does not seem to change, but you may be released from inhibitions that you had. Just follow your path. Nothing wrong in any way that you may feel.

I am not so sure that hrt can change sexual orientation, I think it more changes how you think about things. Perhaps your attraction to men is currently repressed and you don't realize it and hrt will bring it to the surface, perhaps your previous attraction to women was a confusion between who you'd like to be and who you want to be with.

Or perhaps none of that is true and you continue to like what you liked before.

My expierence is that I am still not attracted to men, niether physically or emotionally. It kinda sucks as they are half of a potential dating pool but, you shouldn't try and force attraction, the best path just seems go with what you like regardless of whatever label gets put on it .

My HRT doc told me, point blank after asking what my orientation is, that HRT can change orientation. I wanted to call bull. I mean, if all it took was hormones to change someone's orientation some quack bible thumping doctor would've long ago started pumping gay men full of extra testosterone and labeling it a cure for homosexuality. As as far as I know that hasn't happened.

So, with that in mind. I was surprised to find myself recently fantasizing about men. I've never been "afraid to be gay". In fact, the deepest emotional connection I've ever had with another human has been with a guy. Just, never had any sort of sexual spark for me. Ever. It's always been women who did it for me sexually.

But now, who knows? I'm just gonna keep an open mind and see what the future brings me.

Quote from: Hikari on February 10, 2014, 07:06:39 AM
I am not so sure that hrt can change sexual orientation, I think it more changes how you think about things.

I can agree with this. The idea of being with a man used to be prohibitively icky. But as I started thinking of myself as a softer women, the idea of being with a man no longer seemed repugnant.

This all happened before HRT.

When you look at who you're actually attracted to with your current body, sexual orientation can change. But does that mean that it has actually changed? Not necessarily.

Let me explain...

When I first started HRT, I suddenly found myself becoming attracted to men. And at the time, I thought that it was my sexual orientation "changing." But really, now that I've had time to think about it, it actually didn't.

My sexual orientation was always as a bisexual woman. That's the key, though... I had to be a woman first. When I still had a male body, I was not attracted to men, because there was nothing that I could do with a man that would even remotely resemble what I was attracted to. Because, well, stroking a man wasn't what I was imagining, it was the being stroked while I had a soft feminine body, and being penetrated through a vagina, that I was attracted to. Whereas with a woman, the rough equivalent of lesbian sex was indeed possible, because as long as you're the one taking the active role, you can do the same things to a woman that a lesbian would do even though you have a body that's technically male. I was with a girl, and as long as the attention remained on her, I was happy. The problem is, though, she wasn't imagining lesbian sex, she was imagining heterosexual sex. So when the attention turned back to me, and my male body suddenly became involved in it, I felt uncomfortable, and it felt weird, and I just didn't find it attractive.

So in my case, I thought that I was exclusively attracted to women, and I thought that I was heterosexual for years. But really, it wasn't normal heterosexual attraction. It was just the closest thing that I could get to a normal sexual relationship that somewhat resembled my internal sexual orientation.

Now that my body is becoming female, now that the possibility does indeed exist of having a sexual relationship with a man that actually fits that fantasy, I've found myself becoming attracted to men. Suddenly, their strong holding arms seem attractive, and the contrast between my soft feminine body and their hard muscular body seems much more attractive. And really, again, that's the way that it's always been. Pre-transition, I was just as excited by the thoughts of both being with a man as a woman, and being in a lesbian relationship as a woman. I just couldn't fully express those desires until I myself had a female body, and thus my outlets actually matched my fantasies instead of just being pale imitations where I had to ignore the physical reality of my own body in order to get into it.

So to answer the question, no, your sexual orientation probably won't "change." But you may discover what it really was all along. As you feminize, as you find your fantasy-self getting closer and closer to your real self, you'll find a lot of those idealized images in your head slowly manifesting themselves in your real attractions toward people. And thus it's quite possible that it may have the appearance of "changing" even though they were actually always there, and always the same.

I'd agree. It's mostly a change of context that has widened who I'm attracted to. As I accepted that I would never be a man, I found myself interested in the occasional man. Like a lot if other things, it's grown as I've progressed through my transition.

I did find that HRT has finally awoken my sexuality. Before I identified as a biromantic asexual. Estrogen alone did that, and progesterone seems to have enhanced it.

Thanks for the replies everybody. I just dont really see myself being with a man at this stage, but anything can happen.
Its always been women for me romantically, but I cant get off when having sex with them because it just feels wrong, I want to be penetrated, not penetrating

My orientation did not change, though it seems it happens for many people.

I too have been curious as to whether or not my orientation will change when I start hrt.  I'm attracted to women and even if I don't necessarily find myself attracted to men, am not put off or turned off by the thought of being with a man.  In fact I would like to try being with a man at some point, even pre transition.  So I guess that makes me more bi-curious? 

Through the process of coming to terms with being transgender, and now confusing that can makes orientation (if I'm physically male, but mentally female, and attracted to women, do I say I'm gay or straight?), I decided that it made my head hurt and that I'm just going to roll with it and not worry about labels or what I am orientation wise.   And that I'll just be attracted and interested in whoever I'm attracted to or interested in.

This I think helps with the idea of changing orientation from hrt.  If it happens it happens, and I'll just go along with being attracted to men now.  If it doesn't, it doesn't, and I'll still try it out if I get the chance.   Honestly though, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to men when you were previous attracted to women.  Beyond trying to adhere to an orientation, it really doesn't change anything, except that you're not attracted to these traits and not really attracted to those traits anymore. 

Is there any reason particularly that makes you scared of your orientation changing?

My orientation didn't really change, although it might appear as though it did to some.

I had been living my life as a gay guy and thought being a straight woman was the plan. Then I fell in love - with a woman. It didn't work out between us, but it did cause me to do some thinking. And I realised that I had never loved a man. I had loved women though. I could see myself married to a woman.

Im just afraid of how deep these feelings go and how much they could come to define me. I dont want to lose my love for women. But maybe its supposed to happen because I dont really enjoy traditional sex with women

My orientation moved from hetro to now being bi. Most of the change came closer to my GRS and afterwords more clear.

Isabell

I've always been bi...but lately I am totally boy crazy. I notice men in ways that I didn't before, and I appreciate things about them that I never did.

Whereas with women....I tend to check out their clothes and makeup before I even think about being attracted to them.

Doesn't really matter right now though. There is NO WAY I will sleep with anyone with this garbage down below :( I just want this damn ordeal over so I can start living.

Quote from: Tidal_Wave on February 22, 2014, 06:59:35 PM
Im just afraid of how deep these feelings go and how much they could come to define me. I dont want to lose my love for women. But maybe its supposed to happen because I dont really enjoy traditional sex with women

Could be.  Even if it does happen, you could still have a love for women that isn't sexual or romantic, developing really close and amazing friendships than was possible before?  You might find you develop attraction for men, and enjoy sex with them more, but find a deeper and more complete love with your female friends that is more fulfilling than you had before.  Sexuality is who you are attracted to and interested in, it doesn't define you. 

My advice would be, since you don't know anything will change or not, focus on the positive possibilities of either outcome.  If you see both outcomes as being something that can be good and amazing and make you happy, and focus on those, whichever outcome does happen will be a lot easier to accept and find fulfillment and happiness in.  More often than not, how happy we are with an outcome or situation is determined not by the outcome and situation, but our perspective and perception of the outcome/situation.  A positive view of either, focusing on the happiness both can bring you will ensure whichever you get, you'll be much happier, rather than having to come to terms and deal with things when you get the one you didn't want. 

We have enough to come to terms with and deal with already, so if you can find a way to focus on the positive, I would.


 

Ill try abd focus on the positive, its just such a big and scary change, im a little freaked

Being freaked is perfectly understandable.  Not just with the thought of an orientation shift, but with everything to do with transitioning.  We're literally turning our lives upside down, giving up many comforts in pursuit of being happy and being able to live as our true selves.  We're giving up relative comfort for a lot of uncertainty.  Every huge change in life is scary, even before adding all of this.

Just remind yourself of the positive outcomes that await you, try to focus on those.  And if you need to vent, or freak out a little, get it all out, or a pep talk to remind you of the positive, you're more than welcome to PM me.  Trying is the best we can do.  Good luck, and remember you're not alone here.  None of us are.  We have each other.

I dunno...

Im pretty sure that I feel more attracted to guys now
Im still pansexual though :/

People become more accepting of their sexual identity, it does not really change but you are free to accept yourself.

Thanks for all the help girls, I appreciate it

I thought there was no way in heck I'd ever be attracted to someone with a penis. Then at around 4 months into hrt transition something started to change, and I was no longer attracted to cis females whatsoever. Honestly the only women I have been attracted to since have been trans women who happened to be pre-op.

Although I know for sure that genitalia had nothing to do with my attraction there (it was more about being attracted to someone who is absolutely sure of who they are), I definitely have found myself swooning over a few guys... and the thought of having sex with them as a woman makes me extremely interested in the penile part. I can already tell that after SRS I will have zero reservations about them.. Heck, I am pretty sure I'll be all about those "parts" ;)

I would have NEVER guessed I would feel that way going into transition. You just never know. And with such a life altering decision to transition, it's the perfect time to not hold anything back and to let your sexuality flow with the wind!

It will be a good chance to explore my sexuality, since ive never really experimented before. I just want to be dominated, I want to be the submissive one

As a "male", I was a non romantic asexual.  I always figured I'd be a lesbian.
However, as a female, I really see myself with a hetro guy.
The thought of having sex with a guy as a female is a bit of a turn on.

I even have a bit of a crush on a new employee at work. ;-)

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