Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm waiting to out my self when I go full time

Simple answer, No.

Female is just fine.

No...no cisgender person, except perhaps one that's HUGELY into postmodern social justice, is going to put their gender as "cisgender female" or "cisgender male." They're going to pick "female" or "male." So why should trans people be held to a different standard?

very good point wasn't thinking like that at first.

I just changed by gender from female to trans woman on Facebook.    I had already my female picture posted.   My family and friends had already known me when I was trying to live as a male.   Being a 67 year old trans grandma who every day takes one more step to "pushing up daisies"  influences my perspectives on life.

I don't have much money to spend upon to physically make changes to my body or two maintain two wardrobes.   I will not wear obvious male clothing anymore.   As far as passing as a women goes,  one minute I pass, the next minute I don't,  the next minute I pass, and so on.   I dress like you see in my picture.   For myself, I have come to realize that my true gender is trans woman or better yet, trans grandma,  and this is about the best I am going to get because no matter how much I am viewed as a grandma,  I have too much history and family that are going to out me as transgender for me to expect to hide it.   I spent too much of my life pretending I was a male for me to expect to pass as a cis female.   

When I was 13, and my body was first waking up sexually and I realized that I was really a female and not the male others thought I was.    In my fear and needing to survive I made the emotional decision that instead of declaring that I was a female then,  that I would deal with it when I was much older.   I waited until I was 53 years old to start living my life as a female, in private at first and then later in public.    Now I wish that at thirteen I would have had the courage to begin living as a female,  by now very few people would ever have know that I had started out life in a male body and would have very little problems passing as a total woman.   Such is life.

I only got a Facebook page for contacting Noise peeps. If that had never came up, I still would be without a Facebook page. I will stick with "Female". Screw outing myself for no reason at all. All of the Noise peeps I've met see me as just another chick and I will keep it that way.

I do though have a separate facebook account as Stephanie.

I have two Facebook pages, a Place filler under the name I am going to get and one under my male name. I when I go full time I am going to invite people to the new page and let them decide to come or not. Granted the only people who don't know are people who I hadn't seen in years, but I am making it thier choice if they want to continue this association.

So basically why bother changing that. I am mentally a woman. I won't become one when I get my name change I won't become one when I get srs and change my birth cert because I always was a woman.

So from my point of view I didn't "become" a transwoman when I came out or got on hormones or anything, I was already a woman, just with a birth defect. I will refer to myself as a transwoman for the same reason I will refer to others as ciswomen, because I am making a reference between those who have the medical condition I have versus those who don't. You wouldn't put your Facebook gender to paraplegic woman so why bother putting transwoman?

This isnt a dig a people who do choose that status, I just wouldn't. I could especially see where those who try and solicit dates thru Facebook it could make things easie to have that gender right there.

Quote from: stephaniec on February 13, 2014, 06:27:07 PM
I do though have a separate facebook account as Stephanie.

Even if I jumped on the Facebook bandwagon when the rest of my family did, I wouldn't need to do that since I was full time and all that by that point. I use a screenname anyway. There is no way I would use my legal name on there.

I simply just leave it as undisclosed because there is no option for intersex or genderfluid

Why would you want to out yourself?

More like why would you even want to be on facebook. ::)

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on February 13, 2014, 06:43:11 PM
I simply just leave it as undisclosed because there is no option for intersex or genderfluid

Both of those are available

To me "transgender female" is not a gender, its a gender with a word added to it giving cisgender people a reason to expect that its any of their business whether someone is trans or not. (eg. "Hey you didn't put trans female as your gender on Facebook, stop trying to fool people, they put the option there for a reason")

All due respect to trans people who for whatever reason want to put their gender as trans

What's Facebook?

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 13, 2014, 07:30:54 PM
Both of those are available

Oh! Neat I typed in Two-Spirit under custom and it auto came up as a recognized term for that section

Quote from: Jill F on February 13, 2014, 07:51:54 PM
What's Facebook?

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.spoonful.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fstyles%2Fsquare_420x420%2Fpublic%2Fcrafts%2Fface-book-crafts-photo-420x420-FF1011COSTUM_A06_SM.jpg&hash=b5b46c0a6305e87fd2231ebfe2030b052f8bd32e)

Sticking with Female here. :) I'm glad more choice is there for those that want it though.

Yep! I put "genderqueer," but might change it.

No, although my main facebook account as been "modified" for a long while to not have a gender, and uses "them/they/their" pronouns for me, simply because it's in my female name, as that's what 99.9% of the world knows me as.  I have a separate male account, which will be staying as male, but I only use that to get onto certain facebook groups anyway.

I'm not defined by trans, and I don't need the fact that I am trans following me everywhere and labelling me.  Maybe it would be different if I was out and proud about it, but for all intents and purposes to me, it's just an unfortuate fact of life that I hate.

Not so much a comment on whether I will use the new gender settings, but I really find it nifty that you can apparently choose your pronouns independently from your gender identity. For example, it looks like you could be listed as a woman, but choose to use either gender neutral or male pronouns. Not my personal cup of tea, but it's nice to see the option.

My facebook is still male me. I'm really tempted to change it to trans and see if any one notices.  ;)

Still needs a lot of work, but I'm happy to be able to tag myself as a Non-Binary Trans* Female, because that's pretty spot on.

The worst omission, in my opinion, is missing off woman and man from that list, so you can't tag yourself a genderfluid woman, for example. As has been mentioned above, I think very few people choose to self-identify as cis. I'd like to see more of a range of options for pronouns too, so we can say "I'm happy to be called this or this", and then folk know what not to use.

I'm curious to know how this copies over to other languages.  For example, if someone has chosen they/their/them as their pronouns but has friends who speak a language where there isn't anything which is similarly gender-neutral, what do their friends see as they don't have anything similar to "XXX commented on their status."

EDIT:  I've only just noticed this is in the girls' section, I hope no one minds.

Quote from: Caysee Danielle on February 13, 2014, 07:42:01 PM
To me "transgender female" is not a gender, its a gender with a word added to it giving cisgender people a reason to expect that its any of their business whether someone is trans or not. (eg. "Hey you didn't put trans female as your gender on Facebook, stop trying to fool people, they put the option there for a reason")

All due respect to trans people who for whatever reason want to put their gender as trans

Quote from: Seras on February 13, 2014, 06:57:25 PM
Why would you want to out yourself?

I transitioned on Facebook, but most of my friends and family have been lifelong and totally supportive. I have way more cisgirl friends than guy friends, and they just treat me like another one of their girlfriends. I went from Randy to Randi about two years ago, then finally all the way to Miranda about eight months ago. There are quite a few who've known about me being transsexed for decades, but EVERYWHERE ELSE, I am and have been a woman for as long as they've known me. Like many of us, I've been female from the womb, but to the world and living every moment as a woman, for almost 2 1/2 years. Nowhere, anywhere though, would I ever put on something, especially Facebook, 'transgender.' Aren't we supposed to be women? If you pass, don't even give anyone a clue! No, no, no, no, no!!!

Quote from: MacG on February 13, 2014, 08:09:24 PM
Yep! I put "genderqueer," but might change it.

I mean this in all sincerity, and I'm not trying to be a snippety old bitch, but what does genderqueer mean? I wanted to be a girl my entire life, but found out what transsexual was at 13 (I'm 59 now) and I don't quite get the rest, other than the LGB and T. I'm lost on the rest. I've wanted to get SRS since 13 and didn't know until I got on Susan's Place that there was any other designation than transsexual or transgender.

Quote from: Miranda Catherine on February 15, 2014, 12:58:04 AM
I mean this in all sincerity, and I'm not trying to be a snippety old bitch, but what does genderqueer mean? I wanted to be a girl my entire life, but found out what transsexual was at 13 (I'm 59 now) and I don't quite get the rest, other than the LGB and T. I'm lost on the rest. I've wanted to get SRS since 13 and didn't know until I got on Susan's Place that there was any other designation than transsexual or transgender.

To me, genderqueer comes closest to  describing how I feel. I was born with girl parts, which I've always been confused about/despised. I don't feel like a woman. Not even a woman who breaks traditional gender roles. I feel more like... Just me. Except way more male than female. I've been thinking very hard on this for about 15 years and have decided I must transition.
I don't know if I'll always feel sort of genderless, or if I'll come to feel as if I'm just a man.

I've been listed as Female for the past 9 Months.

for me whatever the final out come being on HRT it has given me a gift of seeing through the looking glass, even if imperfect  that glimpse  is beautiful.

I still find Facebook too intrusive and would be uncomfortable posting there.

I have two Facebook accounts. The male one and then the one everyone in my family and from high school is on. I never use my female one, unless my mom wants me to upload pics for her. Eventually, once I transition enough that I feel comfortable, I will end up deleting my female one and invite everyone to what I consider my real male Facebook page.

Quote from: Natallie553 on February 14, 2014, 10:58:27 AM
My facebook is still male me. I'm really tempted to change it to trans and see if any one notices.  ;)

I thought about doing this as well, or using it as a way to come out--but after I come out to my kids first. I also have to figure out how I'm going to deal with those I know through scouts (although I am no longer involved as a leader--just a parent and sometimes parent volunteer).

I do have a question though and I can't seem to find an answer online, but what is the difference between "trans woman" and "trans female" or between "trans woman" and "trans* woman"?

Jane

I came out on Facebook already. everybody knows I am transgender. but I still identify as female. So that works just fine for me. :)

No. I'm keeping it female, because that is and always will be my gender. My gender is not trans female. I'm a female who just so happens to be transgendered.

Quote from: Rachel Bellefountaine on February 15, 2014, 11:06:10 PM
No. I'm keeping it female, because that is and always will be my gender. My gender is not trans female. I'm a female who just so happens to be transgendered.

I like that.

You have a cute avatar too.