Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Just a couples of quick question.  Has anyone had any problems with sharing their images here on susan's?  Has anyone recognized you or seeked you out in real life?  Has anyone outed you?  Has it caused any potential problems for your security or privacy?  Did it make stealth and passing harder in any way?  I'm just curious about other people's experiences.  Please share anything that you think may be relevant or helpful.  All genders are welcome to share.  Thanks.

nope. no problems.

Nah , I doubt it...

besides I think im the only member from Greece here...

My main problems were that it made people treat me differently and some casual sexual harassment for one, and also that people have saved my pics and I can't delete them totally now...

I have had people recognize me based on things I say.  But I don't share an image so that hasn't happened with images.  I won't share an image because I don't want it to happen. :)

I haven't had any issues so far, but I don't do it that often. I haven't had that one idiot post any of my photos on her site (as far as I know, anyway. People here know whom I'm referring to.) But even if that did happen, I wouldn't care. The hell with loser stalker douches that screw with people online because they know they are free from getting their teeth knocked out if they did it face to face.

no, but I'm waiting for some one to walk up to me sitting drinking coffee and say haven't I seen you on Susan's.

I make sure that the images I share here are not also used on the sites where my RL info is accessible and I'm still presenting male (Eg. Facebook, family blog, etc.). There are creepy stalker types out there and they will google search images to find out where else they are posted in efforts to track you down.

If someone I know from RL were to actually be on this site and recognize me, I'd be cool with that. Most people I know wouldn't be jerks and out me. There's also the questions that would be begging to be asked, "Well what were you doing on Susan's then when you found out about me?" and "Are you transgender too?".

Quote from: Alaia on February 21, 2014, 01:42:06 PM
I make sure that the images I share here are not also used on the sites where my RL info is accessible and I'm still presenting male (Eg. Facebook, family blog, etc.). There are creepy stalker types out there and they will google search images to find out where else they are posted in efforts to track you down.

If someone I know from RL were to actually be on this site and recognize me, I'd be cool with that. Most people I know wouldn't be jerks and out me. There's also the questions that would be begging to be asked, "Well what were you doing on Susan's then when you found out about me?" and "Are you transgender too?".

I always  liked that question, Oh! so your familiar with Susan's

I actually had one dude put two and two together and figured out who I was since I was using the same screenname on different sites for different stuff. I told the dude flat-out that I didn't give a damn if he had figured it out or not and we could stop talking right now if he had a problem with me.

:D He was like "Woah, chill out!" and we've been talking ever since and I've actually met him a few times. But, at that time when it was brought up, I was kind of having this "screw you" attitude that was leftover from when I had some problems with some losers a long time ago. So, I kind of overreacted at that time. But, it was pretty much a non-issue in the end.

Triangulating images has never been easier. Be careful.

Quote from: learningtolive on February 21, 2014, 01:28:26 PM
Just a couples of quick question.  Has anyone had any problems with sharing their images here on susan's?  Has anyone recognized you or seeked you out in real life?  Has anyone outed you?  Has it caused any potential problems for your security or privacy?  Did it make stealth and passing harder in any way?  I'm just curious about other people's experiences.  Please share anything that you think may be relevant or helpful.  All genders are welcome to share.  Thanks.

No, however worry for such a thing caused me to eliminate all sorts of pictures and references to me online, not that it necessarily matters however I would rather not be the object of gossip and/or prejudice. Figure i'll be more open when I need to (my inevitable fame and success  ;D )

If I were you, I would approach with caution. What is done cannot be undone

Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 21, 2014, 01:33:36 PM
Nah , I doubt it...

besides I think im the only member from Greece here...

But not the only Greek  :-*

Considering my "agitated" social life and the number of friends I have, I judged it is low risky to share my photo here. Also, it is hard t see a fellow brazilian here, so I think I am quite safe.

I think things vary greatly, depending of how many friends you have, how many people still ignores that you are transgender, how many people live close to you....you have to calculate and judge if it is worthy.

But unless you have a very large number of friends/colleagues and they are hackers or have ways to track your internet life...I wouldn't worry.

I think this way...someday I'll need to come out to my closer friends...if any of them realizes I am a transgender now...so what? I don't care. Really.

No problems for me.. Not one.

But I also make no secret of my being trans - which eliminates any issues with personal embarrassment and makes it somewhat harder for people to cause issues for me.

If someone wants to stalk me, they will.. But I know it wont end well for them.  >:-)

Yeah, I don't know.  On the one hand it would be nice to get feedback, but on the other hand I worry.  What I'm really afraid of is that someone anti-lgbt will see it and be like "kill the beast" or I'll get some weird stalker.  Honestly, I'm not cut out for self defense in that situation, so I don't know.  And I do feel like I have to be stealth in the future, though I worry how practical it will be in the end.  It's such a heavy secret to keep, and it's not like those who know have been so quiet about it.  I guess in the end most people that may recognize me will either already be out of my life or they are currently in it and thus probably know or suspect what's going on.  In any case, any photos I would put up would be only for a short period, so hopefully that would minimize issues.  I'll have to ask my therapist what she thinks.  I just would hate to have people think of me poorly or know I'm trans.  And I share so much here that it wouldn't be hard to guess who I am.  We'll see. 

As for people being on Susan's, I think there are a million reasons they could be coming on here.  Some people may just be curious about us or know someone who is trans.  Sometimes I feel like my posts have been read by people in my life.  I may just be paranoid, but sometimes I notice there are more guests on some of my posts than most of the other ones around here.  It makes me wonder, though paranoia is probably more likely, lol.  In any case, the site has a lot of views that I'd be shocked if transgender people are the only ones lurking.  My guess is we may not even be the majority of viewers. 

Keep up the responses because I do appreciate everybody's thoughts. :)

Good god, no.  ::)

Quote from: learningtolive on February 21, 2014, 04:02:06 PM
I just would hate to have people think of me poorly or know I'm trans.  And I share so much here that it wouldn't be hard to guess who I am.  We'll see. 

People are going to know you are trans.. Maybe not everyone, but some will. I know a woman who claims to live in complete stealth.. Many of her friends know, they just don't mention it..

Quote from: kelly_aus on February 21, 2014, 04:34:13 PM
People are going to know you are trans.. Maybe not everyone, but some will. I know a woman who claims to live in complete stealth.. Many of her friends know, they just don't mention it..

I disagree. This is going to be one of those cases where I say 'it depends' and, unfortunately the bar for that is 'passability'. It sucks but it is what it is. Deep stealth is possible, but personally would be too much of a PITA.

I know an individual that was outed via a forum picture.
She was talking about a very specific topic using real names... Her co-employee was also involved in that workplace controversy, and googled it. Up came the post...and the picture was an identifiable one.
The co-employee proceeded to out the individual at the workplace, thankfully due to the nature of the outing in a equality supporting workplace, the outing was not looked upon favorably. The co-employee was fired for breaking HIPPA rules, discrimination, and harassment. The individual proceeded with transition, including her workplace and is currently in RLE still employed.

As long as you dont use your real name or location, it should be fine.

Look at it another way. Anyone who comes to Susans and find's it is hardly going to tell anyone else, especially if they are Cis ;)

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on February 21, 2014, 04:42:00 PM
I disagree. This is going to be one of those cases where I say 'it depends' and, unfortunately the bar for that is 'passability'. It sucks but it is what it is. Deep stealth is possible, but personally would be too much of a PITA.

I'm sorry, this issue always drives me insane, I mean really if your sick and you want to get well you do what you have to do or just live your life the best you can, your choice. as far as passibility   goes like it's been quoted on this site by a very knowledgeable person who we all know that the most that can possibly pass 100 percent is like 5 % of those who transition. I've seen some super models that you can still clock. The only thing I can say if this is  the way you need to live just do it because time on this planet aint that much. And you sure shouldn't spoil your life in constant despair because people might think your trans.

My female presentation doesn't look anything like my male presentation so if anyone saw it they would not know it is me. I showed my avatar picture to a coworker that I had gotten close to that was leaving the company and she confirmed that to be true. I also remove geotagging information from my pictures before linking to them, and my photobucket account belongs to my old screen name and that name is generic and is non-identifiable. I do live in the L.A. area but I've never said exactly where.

I think I have been discreet, but that all doesn't matter now because soon I'm coming out.

So my answer is no.

Quote from: Eva Marie on February 21, 2014, 06:18:28 PM
I also remove geotagging information from my pictures before linking to them

This is an important one that I think is easy to overlook, especially for those who aren't tech savvy. Very easy for someone to start stalking you if you are posting up the geolocation as part of your pictures.

I think that if you are discrete and careful in what pictures you post, especially avoiding those that disclose locations near where you live and/or other people from where you live, then you are fine.

Let's face it. This is the 20th century and if someone wants to badly enough they can and will string together information to allow themselves to identify you. Nobody, not even young transitioners, is going to get away with living fully stealth the way some women did 40-50 years ago (such as Lynn Conway before she voluntarily came out). There is simply too much interlinked information.

My advice is just be discrete and you should be safe, at least for posters in the United States. Other nations may have far worse situations.

LTL,

You could post it in the "Just for Us" section if you want feedback with (possibly) a higher degree trust.  There seems to be a way to delete photos after a while.

I gave up on stealth.  On March 5, I teach a 4 hour class at work to over 1200 engineers and I will be in boy mode.  I will teach part 2 in boy mode on April 4. A colleague is taking part 3.  However, I'll teach part 4 in June, as me, Jennifer, after going full time the week before. Heck, the email list (with a webcast video link) from HR goes to over 14,000 people. 

I wish you luck and am glad to see your posts again.

Hugs,

Jen

Personally, I've never had an issue, but I'm not scared or worried about it outing me. What does make me uneasy though, is the multiplicity of whatever is posted and shared. Once you post something, it's essentially out there for everyone to access freely. I remember some before and after morphing video series that was just a collection of images from picture sharing threads, including Susan's. That's a pretty significant invasion of privacy, and seeing those videos really made me think twice about what I share.

And that's not to say it was a bad thing. It just hit pretty close when I started recognizing people from here, and the thought is unnerving.

I've read that as facial recognition software gets more powerful employers may use it to scour the internet to see where an applicant my have accounts on Facebook, tumblr, blogs, message boards etc.
That's why it bothers me to see so many teens posting their half dressed (or worse) selfies all over social media not knowing that it may hamper their employment opportunities.

To some extent that may effect some of us as well, which is why I try and keep my face off of web pages and social media posts....just to be safe

No, but that's because paranoia keeps me from ever sharing any. :) So I'm reading this thread with interest!

It's not actually that I'm afraid of being outed - I'm already out to a lot of people and make no effort to hide my past - as that I don't want coworkers, acquaintances, etc. finding an account where I've talked at length about things like my mental health and my vagina. I approach it the same way as my cis coworker, who confided that she is on a support site for women with hysterectomies but makes a real effort to keep that account un-linked with her real-world identity.

Quote from: Michelle G on February 22, 2014, 02:08:26 AM
I've read that as facial recognition software gets more powerful employers may use it to scour the internet to see where an applicant my have accounts on Facebook, tumblr, blogs, message boards etc.
That's why it bothers me to see so many teens posting their half dressed (or worse) selfies all over social media not knowing that it may hamper their employment opportunities.

I am sorry LtL as this question is a bit hi-jacky but - do you folks in the 'States really have to worry about that sort of thing?  I don't know if anyone over here has needed to but I would imagine the EUHCR would be quite interested in asking why they thought they had the right to prevent an employee/potential employee the right to a private life.

Rosie

i cant share any because of age, plus even if i could then anybody could find it within m town and make my life more of a living hell.

Quote from: Xhianil on February 22, 2014, 11:20:48 AM
i cant share any because of age, plus even if i could then anybody could find it within m town and make my life more of a living hell.

+1

Thank you for bucking your generation's trend of oversharing.

Quote from: G:W:Y:N:N:E on February 22, 2014, 12:25:24 PM
+1

Thank you for bucking your generation's trend of oversharing.

yea just sitting in class you see at least 80% are snap-chatting and instagraming.

Quote from: H, H, H, Honeypot! on February 22, 2014, 11:04:03 AM
I am sorry LtL as this question is a bit hi-jacky but - do you folks in the 'States really have to worry about that sort of thing?  I don't know if anyone over here has needed to but I would imagine the EUHCR would be quite interested in asking why they thought they had the right to prevent an employee/potential employee the right to a private life.

Rosie

Yeah, businesses discriminate all the time because of photos or posts that they find questionable. 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.  I have to think it over, though my therapist thinks it's silly to feel concerned. 

Quote from: learningtolive on February 22, 2014, 01:17:34 PM
Yeah, businesses discriminate all the time because of photos or posts that they find questionable. 

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.  I have to think it over, though my therapist thinks it's silly to feel concerned.

totally agree with the terapist

Quote from: learningtolive on February 21, 2014, 01:28:26 PM
Just a couples of quick question.  Has anyone had any problems with sharing their images here on susan's?  Has anyone recognized you or seeked you out in real life?  Has anyone outed you?  Has it caused any potential problems for your security or privacy?  Did it make stealth and passing harder in any way?  I'm just curious about other people's experiences.  Please share anything that you think may be relevant or helpful.  All genders are welcome to share.  Thanks.

One always needs to be careful when posting any sort of personal information, including images.  The subscription area and my personal blog are two places that are not crawled by spiders and other sorts of bot programing.  As I write this the site is being crawled by 82 Chicom spiders (Baidu).

Though we try to intercept creeper, trolls, ->-bleeped-<-s, harvesters, and predators, they sometimes get through.

I haven't had any problem. At the moment, in dude mode I don't look much like my avatar anyway. ( :( )

I'm a bit more concerned about when I go full time, since I'm relatively well known (or known of) in numerous circles - not trying to big note myself, not a megastar or anything, just that my involvement in work and my art means I'm vaguely known of by several hundred people. Personally I'm more concerned about my posts, some are deeply personal, some are about work colleagues, friends and family. Even though I don't use names, once I do go full time if people who know me do stumble across this site they'd be able to put a lot together. Part of me is "good luck to them" part of me is less dismissive. :-\

But photos, no.

LtL, I know you're struggling with this issue big time at the moment. It is terrible that a single one of us has to feel any degree of shame about being transgender. Yes there are jerks out there whose lives are so sad and meaningless they have nothing better to do with their pathetic existence than to attempt to hate on, denigrate and shame trans people. But then there are jerks that do that across all categories of existence - to women, to men, to gay people, to people with a physical or mental disability, to people from a different race and/or religion, to homeless people, to anyone who dares to be in the slightest bit different and live their life as they must through no fault of their own. Need I go on? It is hurtful and harmful and some nutjobs can make it outright dangerous. I say all of this not to make you feel more fearful but to suggest that what those people say and think isn't worth a speck of fly poop. Seriously. Part of learning to live is learning to not live in fear of those people. But posting a pic is utterly your choice. You must feel safe. If you feel like you'd like to get some feedback but don't want to post to the main site consider PMing people on the site who you feel you trust and ask them if they wouldn't mind commenting on and keeping private a pic you would PM them. I'm sure there are many here who would be able and willing! :)

Quote from: Ms Grace on February 22, 2014, 02:06:21 PM
I haven't had any problem. At the moment, in dude mode I don't look much like my avatar anyway. ( :( )

I'm a bit more concerned about when I go full time, since I'm relatively well known (or known of) in numerous circles - not trying to big note myself, not a megastar or anything, just that my involvement in work and my art means I'm vaguely known of by several hundred people. Personally I'm more concerned about my posts, some are deeply personal, some are about work colleagues, friends and family. Even though I don't use names, once I do go full time if people who know me do stumble across this site they'd be able to put a lot together. Part of me is "good luck to them" part of me is less dismissive. :-\

But photos, no.

LtL, I know you're struggling with this issue big time at the moment. It is terrible that a single one of us has to feel any degree of shame about being transgender. Yes there are jerks out there whose lives are so sad and meaningless they have nothing better to do with their pathetic existence than to attempt to hate on, denigrate and shame trans people. But then there are jerks that do that across all categories of existence - to women, to men, to gay people, to people with a physical or mental disability, to people from a different race and/or religion, to homeless people, to anyone who dares to be in the slightest bit different and live their life as they must through no fault of their own. Need I go on? It is hurtful and harmful and some nutjobs can make it outright dangerous. I say all of this not to make you feel more fearful but to suggest that what those people say and think isn't worth a speck of fly poop. Seriously. Part of learning to live is learning to not live in fear of those people. But posting a pic is utterly your choice. You must feel safe. If you feel like you'd like to get some feedback but don't want to post to the main site consider PMing people on the site who you feel you trust and ask them if they wouldn't mind commenting on and keeping private a pic you would PM them. I'm sure there are many here who would be able and willing! :)

Yeah, one of my big fears is that I'm very public about my life.  I think I've shared almost everything that has happened to me since coming out.  Even without a picture, it would be easy to guess who I am if you knew me.  Still you are right about what you say.  I shouldn't need to live in fear.  I just need time to think it over.  You know how I love to analyze things to death.  It's my speciality. 

Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on February 22, 2014, 03:40:06 PM
Which happens automatically if You snap away with a smartphone - unless You remove all those nasty metadata before posting up...

What if the location tag is marked off in the camera settings?  Would it still contain some data that shows location?

I don't think so. You can always use the google machine and download some free metadata removal software for your computer.

My biggest issue with posting an image as an avatar is I have to look at that pic every single time a page loads. Be sure to pick one you like.

Quote from: learningtolive on February 22, 2014, 02:16:41 PM
Yeah, one of my big fears is that I'm very public about my life.  I think I've shared almost everything that has happened to me since coming out.  Even without a picture, it would be easy to guess who I am if you knew me.  Still you are right about what you say.  I shouldn't need to live in fear.  I just need time to think it over.  You know how I love to analyze things to death.  It's my speciality.

I'm no stranger to over analysing things. It is of course wise to look before one leaps but over thinking a situation is a fear response, a desire to ensure nothing bad can possibly happen...problem is that for those of us who are observant about life and who have over active imaginations then everything is potentially dangerous when you over think a situation. I used to be like that for years and it would have been a key reason my first transition attempt went belly up. I've learned to dial back my over thinking and over analysing, acknowledge the real and immediate dangers in the world but drop the fear that was holding me back. Not just from being transgender but in many other areas if my life.

Quote from: Tori on February 22, 2014, 04:23:32 PM
Be sure to pick one you like.

Well, that is a bit obvious. I went with a lot of different Portia Porcupine images for a long time. Now, I stick with my anthro counterpart from a series of stories that I write.

I hadn't even thought of any of this. Nearly everyone I know knows I'm TS, but I don't want anyone who only knows me since I transitioned to know. I have a cis girl friend who got really angry with me when I told a friend of hers early on that I'm transgendered, saying, "Why'd you just do that? Aren't you living as a woman to be recognized as one? My friend had no idea you're anything other than just another woman and one of my friends. We've been in public lots of times and nobody's ever looked at you any different than me, and you sound like a woman. That thing just now was almost like you want people to know you're trans. You don't, do you?" I said that I didn't and I don't, so I don't tell anyone anymore. But now you've got me thinking. My BF has never seen a pre-transition photo of me  and I don't ever want him to. I'm glad I read this thread. I don't see myself not posting any more photos, but I'm not going on the "Before and After" thread other than to look and admire other women's changes. My changes are pretty dramatic and one photo in particular is downright scary (not quite Keith Richards scary, but it's bad, lol!) and I should delete it, but I think my post is pretty wild and might give another girl hope like some gave me. Hugs, Mira

Has anyone ever seen the movie "The watcher." It's with Keenu Reeves and he's a serial killer and in it he says something profound that relates to this discussion: Nobody notices anything and they are to wrapped up in their own business to remember some person they might have saw and not seen even five minutes before. The only people who care about transsexuals and talk ->-bleeped-<- on the Internet are little pimple-faced, geeky computer tweebs. They're prolly 12 years old. Who cares, really? If people find out your trans and you don't like that what you have to do is move. That simple. And in any event, if you want to really be stealth, you have to move. You have to start over. Unless you're okay with being perceived as trans. And really it's no big deal. The world is a great place and there's amazing people in it. Yeah there's a few rotten apples,  but don't let them win. Eff them. The chances of sharing you image and some person coming on the site and doing a screen save is very small. And guess what? If you're transitioning, and it's working, uh, people are going to notice.

P.S. If you move, don't move to Russia. Bad decision. Seriously, learn a different language and become an Americna girl in France. There. I fixed your problem. Now, your deep stealth and the only way peeps will find out is if you tell them. But really it is about accepting yourself. if you haven't done that, maybe this isn't the right time to do this.

I posted my picture awhile back to gauge how well hormones might work for me, I let it sit for a week before removing it. -shifty glance- I am still working up my courage to come out and don't want that the be the way I come out. However back on topic I've posted my picture in the past on other places and never had anyone recognize me.

Here is the thing, the internet is probably three times the size of the world, and the only way anyone going to really see it is if you upload it to a account that links back to you (as someone said above they google your name), or the person who finds out is searching sites such as this.

There is just so much data out there really the only way your going find it is if your looking for it specifically.

I wouldn't worry to much.

Quote from: Joanna Dark on February 25, 2014, 10:49:39 AM
If people find out your trans and you don't like that what you have to do is move. That simple.

I have to pluck this little tidbit from your post. For some people, it isn't that simple. It costs a lot of money to move and if some people are in a situation where they don't have much money, they could end up in a place where, yes people may not know they are trans but since they are poor, they end up in a place that is potentially low-income and yet high-crime and very dangerous as a result of that.

I live in the same town that I have lived in all of my life. Are there some people (outside of my family) that knew me before I transitioned?

Yes.

Are they accepting of me?

Hell no. They dropped me like a hot potato. But I don't give a damn about them anyway so it's a non-issue. I have no issues being out and about as a woman 99% of the time (save for some brain dead teenage brat that wants to make a snarky remark). I treat them the same as I do anyone else in that situation: I smile, wish a horrible death upon them and anyone they are associated with and I go about my day. I don't waste my time getting myself down over losers that are utterly worthless.

As far as anyone around here that would try to make trouble for me. I don't waste time on them, either. If they want to bring it, I'm here. But most people are too spineless to do anything anyway.

No one is making me go (or not go) where I don't feel like.

Screw'em.

Love the thread, simply because it expresses our insecurities about so called "Stealth"

I do have another take on this subject, you may understand my position or perhaps you shan't, however this train of thought allowed me the freedom to move beyond fear.

As I see it, being stealth is simply exuding truth about one self and in my case it simply translates into being a woman.
Now, I obviously have the past, not something I do share, it is private and not particularly pleasant aspect of previous live which is No More. But I also do not camouflage that past experience into an event which supposedly never happened.

I simply go on with my life now, which is a life of a woman. If anyone brings out the distant, no longer viable past, I simply tell them how it was, after all, whats there to hide!

So in a nut shell, not to be afraid and make peace with the past is the way to move past the handicap of perception. Others do know us through our energy, character of being, and fears or lack of them. If you present the past without fear, and qualify that such was in the past and ran its course, and that anew, true life had begun, I am sure that most will respect the truth you are sharing. If they do not respect you for your truth, they them selves are suffering from insecurities.

Look upon your enemies with compassion as they them selves are their worst enemy!