Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey all,

I need some good suggestions for hairstyles while I grow my hair out that won't out me at work.

At the moment my hair is starting to get long (It's been about four months since I last cut it.)  But it's also getting fairly unruly and shaggy.  I probably need to get it trimmed soon to make it look presentable again, but not sure how to style it.

Or any tips on keeping it from being a mess?  I comb it out of the shower, but too much combing just makes it messier, as does combing it dry.  Any and all suggestions and help are greatly appreciated.

Without seeing what your hair looks like now, I really can't say. But I will tell you that there will be an awkward peiod in which no matter what you do it's gonna look like crap. Unruly and shaggy shouldn't get you outed at work. Even if you do fix it up when you get home.

Me as an example, hair is below my shoulders loose curls and waves. Tried bangs but now growing them out and they are about chin length. When I'm male mode parted down the center, whatever it does it does. If I want to go femme, I'll part it on the side, pay a little more attention to the waves and curls and do a little hidy thing with my eye. But regardless what you do or how long you want to grow it that awkward phase is a pain in the butt and kinda sound like you're there now.

Thanks for the help.  It's actually a bit refreshing to know this is a bit normal.

if your hair is anything like mine (mine gets shaggy and unruly too), i would recommend buying some curl-mousse type products that keep your wavy or curly hair in check and keep it from getting frizzy or all over the place. My hair is currently about upper-lip length and i usually brush it to the left like a comb-over and it creates a shorter version of the early Victoria Beckham haircut:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F0.tqn.com%2Fd%2Fbeauty%2F1%2F0%2Fo%2FA%2F1%2Fvictoria-beckham-short-hair-front-pic.jpg&hash=206286ecd75dc980ced20ee3de89441420023d0d)

Obviously not that voluminous or full (still pretty short) but its a considerable hairstyle, even if your hair is wavy)

I went through this phase where i wanted the "shaved sides full top" style, but realized that it wasnt for me, so only my top hair is upper-lip length and the rest is about 2 and a half inches =/ so its a mixture of this picture in the front and pixie cut in the back :P

It has been 53 weeks since my last hair cut. My hair on top is growing in (regrowth and I have an appointment for hair restoration) and my side and back hair is at my collar or just below. I use dep after I shower and  wet brush it straight back. HR and my Boss know I am trans and have no comment when asked about my hair except it looks fine. I had a Security Director make a lot of repetitive public comments in the cafeteria and in a meeting. I asked him in public in a firm voice, what is wrong with my hair and why do you care? I have seen him 2 times since and both times he looks at the floor when he sees me.

I saw a home remedy for friz which is 2 eggs and 5 tablespoons of olive oil. Mix, put on hair, 30 minutes then wash. Use a protein conditioner.

I've grown mine out several times over my lifetime. When hair is short it often tends to grow upward and outward, which can look kind of messy when grown out. It sometimes takes a several months or a year for the growth direction to change because of the weight of the longer hair, but it does eventually.

You just have to tame it as well as possible during this time and know it's not going to look perfect. If you're lucky, you can do this with hair products, but I've used headbands, barrettes, and even hats to keep it flat while growing it out. Once it gets long enough, though, it looks fine.

~ Lyric ~

I stumbled onto this page recently:

20 Pretty Styling Options For Short Hair
http://www.popsugar.com.au/beauty/20-Pretty-Hairstyles-Short-Hair-22621707#photo-22621693

Now that my hair is long enough (again), I may rock this one:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia2.onsugar.com%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F04%2F15%2F1%2F192%2F1922153%2F6774499217379426_L_Oreal-Paris-Runway-7-on-day-seven-of-the-2012-L_Oreal-Melbourne-Fashion-Festival-on-March-14_-2012-in-Melbourne.xxxlarge%2Fi%2FLMFF.jpg&hash=35d2a5197bed0af3e2b58bbd6c4a1be3562634fd)

Keep cutting the back while the stuff in front catches up.  You don't want a femullet.

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions.  They're all great!

Quote from: Jill F on February 25, 2014, 02:29:02 PM
Keep cutting the back while the stuff in front catches up.  You don't want a femullet.

I didn't even think of that at all.  Thank you for saving me from that happening.

Personally, I'd just tell your stylist what's up and let him/her help you plan it out. If you're going for a 'traditional' female cut, yeah, never let them do anything but clean split-ends off your bangs.

To keep it from being a mess, I recommend a leave-in stabilizer (Redkin #12 is awesome for this). You put it in while your hair is damp, working it in fully, and then you blow-dry with a blow-drying brush (barrel shaped and hollow inside). You'll probably want your stylist to demo this for you as it takes some getting used to.

Welcome to the wonderful world of female hair-care. It's gonna be a loooong ride.

Maybe I do want a Femullet...  I loved Ratt and Bon Jovi.

Gack.  No.  Can't even joke about that.

Quote from: Jill F on February 25, 2014, 02:29:02 PM
Keep cutting the back while the stuff in front catches up.  You don't want a femullet.

Quote from: JustEmily on February 25, 2014, 11:11:23 PM
Maybe I do want a Femullet...  I loved Ratt and Bon Jovi.

Gack.  No.  Can't even joke about that.

pls...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhairstyle2011.yolasite.com%2Fresources%2Fblonde-hair1.jpg&hash=87bd42dc862f51c2e3a26b3a30d091e42241ea4c)

Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 26, 2014, 01:07:53 AM

pls...

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhairstyle2011.yolasite.com%2Fresources%2Fblonde-hair1.jpg&hash=87bd42dc862f51c2e3a26b3a30d091e42241ea4c)

I love that style and look mullet or not. There is no way I could ever pull that style off with my hair type though. Whenever someone mentions mullet, Joe Dirt always pops into my head, Now that was a MULLET. I grew up in the eighties and that was the in thing for guys, "party in the back and business in the front". I never could get into it so I just ended up party all around. 8)

Wow, lots of nice short to medium lengths hair styles. That Femullet looks really nice...maybe it's just her pretty face but I might try something similar when I switch to full time...

Quote from: Ellesmira the Duck on February 26, 2014, 08:30:56 PM
Wow, lots of nice short to medium lengths hair styles. That Femullet looks really nice...maybe it's just her pretty face but I might try something similar when I switch to full time...

If I had that face, I would have gone full time years ago.  Still not keen on the femullet.  Maybe the Carol Brady? LOL...

Pixie cut.  It's a length/style that can be kept very male if that's how you want to present some of the time, but also brushes very female for when you're in girl mode.  It also makes you cut the back and sides while the top is growing out a bit, so you don't end up with that caveman look that some people end up with.  Remember that growing your hair out doesn't mean not ever cutting any of it!

This sounds boring but I just keep mine pulled back most of the time, usually in a bun and let my bangs do whatever they please  :D I do use headbands occasionally when I get tired of my bangs in my face. Headbands are cute, too! Especially if they match your outfit. My hair is almost shoulder length and there's not much I want to do with it until it gets longer, so yea. It's basically a waiting game if you know what I mean. I don't apply heat to it much at all.....to avoid damaging it. I basically just keep it clean, brush it daily and keep it pulled back. In either a bun or ponytail.

Like it said it sounds boring but it will have to suffice for now  :laugh:

Quote from: Starla on March 01, 2014, 01:27:49 AM
This sounds boring but I just keep mine pulled back most of the time, usually in a bun and let my bangs do whatever they please  :D I do use headbands occasionally when I get tired of my bangs in my face. Headbands are cute, too! Especially if they match your outfit. My hair is almost shoulder length and there's not much I want to do with it until it gets longer, so yea. It's basically a waiting game if you know what I mean. I don't apply heat to it much at all.....to avoid damaging it. I basically just keep it clean, brush it daily and keep it pulled back. In either a bun or ponytail.

Like it said it sounds boring but it will have to suffice for now  :laugh:

Starla ,Bangs are great and I love them especially with like a shoulder length or slightly shorter bob but if you're not full time they are a pain to try to hide masquerading around as a guy. Also curly and waves with bangs makes it even harder because it's either look like an eighties starlet with straight bangs and curly hair or straightening it all with a straight iron or chemically to look modern. Think "what's her name", the mom from that show 18 and counting. Talk about a time warp.

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on February 24, 2014, 10:47:32 AM
Hey all,

I need some good suggestions for hairstyles while I grow my hair out that won't out me at work.

At the moment my hair is starting to get long (It's been about four months since I last cut it.)  But it's also getting fairly unruly and shaggy.  I probably need to get it trimmed soon to make it look presentable again, but not sure how to style it.

Or any tips on keeping it from being a mess?  I comb it out of the shower, but too much combing just makes it messier, as does combing it dry.  Any and all suggestions and help are greatly appreciated.

I've grown my hair out and chopped it short many times over the last 20 years of my life while presenting as a man. I've only ever received two comments about it. One was from a supervisor at a job I had when I was 20 who decided my nickname should be "hippy", and the other was from an ex girlfriend who was pissed that my hair was longer than hers. If that's all I got, in 20 years, of growing my hair out halfway down my back before each chop, you should be fine.