Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey folks! Just wondering, how did you go about choosing your new name? I know some people use the feminine/masculine version of their birth name, or people will choose a name beginning with the same letter as their birth name, but when you can't/don't want to do that, how do you go about choosing a name and identifying with it? Did you feel a connection to it straight away, or did it take a while for you to associate that name with yourself?

I never gave it any thought before, but now, it seems kind of weird to think that the name that you've had your entire life, that all of your memories are associated with, gets thrown away and you get a new one. So I'm interested in hearing how people went about that.

Just search some names online etc...

When you find the one it will sound really natural, it will feel yours...

It's also OK to try out some names with your friends and such to see what sticks best. I'm actually in the middle of that possibly as well, going to try out Lauren for a while, see how that works.

I looked up websites of names that also included what the name means.  I chose my name based on it's meaning.

I go by what my mom would have named me, had I been born with girl parts.

I took the first initials from my male name and created a feminine name and therefore I came up with Gina Taylor :) and I've been using that name for the past 20 years!  :) Soon I'll be making it my legal name!  :)

For my first two names I took (both held for about 10 years), I found names I liked that fit me.  Baby name books and sites are great for that.

Then I finally found out what I would have been named if I had been born a girl.  And really liked it, so I took that instead.

I wanted to pick a name that had the same first letter of my birth name to make it easier for people. I was dating someone from England for a bit, and grew to love the culture so I picked a name of English origin: Calder. I like it and I think I'll stick with it.

I choose Kayla because I go to school with a girl named Kayla who I admire and desire to emulate. She's super feminine and has great taste in outfits. I can only hope to become as good of a girl as she is!

I still haven't chosen a name for certain.

I looked through lists of girls names online and found a few that I liked the sound of and tried saying them out loud.

You could try saying "Hi, my name is [insert name here]" and see what sounds right to you. Just a thought...

Thanks to Willow for the friend suggestion. I think I might try that out :)

My life sounds like that! My parents don't approve of me and they think that I'm either going through regular teenage hormones or I'm listening to the devil :( Also my name is Ben and that can't really be converted to female

Quote from: Nora Flexion on March 01, 2014, 05:24:56 PM
The devil is underrated  >:-)

Hmm.... You could be Beth or Betty....but I don't think those names are all too common anymore...

Beth is short for Elizabeth, which is still fairly common. Betty can also be a short version of it.

Maybe :-\ At one time I was thinking Bailey, My middle name is Kyle so I guess I could be a Kylie....or just a Kayla

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 01, 2014, 05:34:50 PM
Beth is short for Elizabeth, which is still fairly common. Betty can also be a short version of it.

Elizabeth is such a versatile name for shortening. Beth, Betty, Betsy, Liz, Liza, Eliza... I even know a girl who went by Zabet as a nickname.

Quote from: kaylagirl0806 on March 01, 2014, 03:27:36 PM
My life sounds like that! My parents don't approve of me and they think that I'm either going through regular teenage hormones or I'm listening to the devil :( Also my name is Ben and that can't really be converted to female

There are female variations on ben, but, they're all ethnic. If you're willing to rock old hebrew or latin names, I say game on! There's also names like Bernice, Beverly, Becky...

I say get yourself a bunch of KISS posters, start blasting some Black Sabbath, and get your Goth girl on... Then after 6 months or so de-goth yourself, but keep the girl... That might make your parents think "Well, at least the devil is gone now..."  ;D

Disclaimer: NEVER listen to my advice on how to handle parents.

Ok I won't lol Thanks missadventure

Quote from: missadventure on March 01, 2014, 07:30:09 PMI say get yourself a bunch of KISS posters, start blasting some Black Sabbath, and get your Goth girl on... Then after 6 months or so de-goth yourself, but keep the girl... That might make your parents think "Well, at least the devil is gone now..."  ;D

Disclaimer: NEVER listen to my advice on how to handle parents.

Never really did it for me, even though those are 2 of my favourite bands.
Of course my parents never thought I had the devil in me, just a metaphorical demon, in the form of depression, but what they didn't know is that depression was in the form of dysphoria.

When I was little I asked my Mom what I would have been named had I been born a girl.  She said either Sarah or Nicole, and since my little sister got Nicole, anytime I let my mind drift to what-if fantasies I was Sarah.

Quote from: skin on March 01, 2014, 08:23:20 PM
When I was little I asked my Mom what I would have been named had I been born a girl.  She said either Sarah or Nicole, and since my little sister got Nicole, anytime I let my mind drift to what-if fantasies I was Sarah.

One day it might be more than a fantasy... I too had the "what would I have been named" conversation with my mom, probably 20 years ago... Now that name is mine....

My problem though is that they wont even let me see a therapist :-\

I wrote this before and deleted it out of my own fear of someone finding out. But I"m not gonna do that anymore. I'm tired of hiding and being scared.  So once again.

I choose the name Lizzie because it sounds similar to my birth name; Donnie. I also like the Z's and I can still bitch about it being ie and y. I did of course admittedly get it from Lzzy Hale of Halestorm, because she awesome and I hope to one be as awesome as her.  Elizabeth Von, love it.

I will not delete this!

Thanks for the responses, everyone :) I've somewhat settled on a name, I think. But I've no idea if that's because it fits me or because I've said it so much that the repetition has allowed it to feel like a good name, haha. It's cool to hear everyone's journey to finding their name, though, because everyone's is a bit different, I suppose.

I just picked the name i would of wanted to be called if i was born male :) has a nice ring to it..

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I played around with a few different names before making my decision.

Started with Cody, because that would've been my name had I been born male-bodied.  Found that it didn't entirely work for me, tried Austin, which was also pretty short-lived.  I've been using Adam for several months now and I am very comfortable with it.

Had I been FAAB, my parents would have named me Juliana.  I might have even taken that if my baby sister didn't get it first.  Gillian is the anglicized version thereof, is partially anagrammatic of my given name, and every Jill I ever knew was completely awesome.

All signs pointed to Jill and it fit me like a glove. 

Yeah, I've had that talk with my mother about what name I'd get if I were born a girl. Too bad it's a name I hated with a passion!

Jesse was one of two names I gave to a girl in my fantasies for many years. It took me a while to realize that perhaps this idealized woman wasn't someone I wanted to be with, but perhaps someone I wanted to be...

I am curious, and you don't have to answer if you don't wish.  What was the name you would have been named?

I chose Lukas a while ago, maybe sophomore year, long before I had any idea that I might be trans. My friends and I were talking the whole "what if you could switch for a day.." scenario, and I'm not sure why, but the name Lukas jumped out at me. When I started thinking about it again more recently, I wondered if I wanted a different name, but decided I still liked it. However, I got curious after a bit, and fairly recently looked the name up, learned that the meaning of it is[roughly] light. I used that to find a new middle name for myself, and was able to keep both my initials [L.M.H.] and the approximate meaning of my whole name, if shuffled around a bit.
So my name would be Lukas Máni H, where now it is Luna Myriam H.
Female: Moon, Star of the sea/light
Male: Light, The Moon

[[sorry for the awkward formatting, I want to keep my last name off here just for the time being]]

Quote from: 89thDay on March 05, 2014, 12:58:16 AM
I chose Lukas a while ago, maybe sophomore year, long before I had any idea that I might be trans. My friends and I were talking the whole "what if you could switch for a day.." scenario, and I'm not sure why, but the name Lukas jumped out at me. When I started thinking about it again more recently, I wondered if I wanted a different name, but decided I still liked it. However, I got curious after a bit, and fairly recently looked the name up, learned that the meaning of it is[roughly] light. I used that to find a new middle name for myself, and was able to keep both my initials [L.M.H.] and the approximate meaning of my whole name, if shuffled around a bit.
So my name would be Lukas Máni H, where now it is Luna Myriam H.
Female: Moon, Star of the sea/light
Male: Light, The Moon

[[sorry for the awkward formatting, I want to keep my last name off here just for the time being]]

No worries about the last name.  Everyone's entitled to as much privacy as they desire.  Anyway, my take is that it's an awesome name.  My good friend named his son Lukas and it fits like a glove.  If that's what you would pick for yourself, then how much more perfect could it be?

Quote from: Colleen♡Callie on March 04, 2014, 11:30:27 PM
I am curious, and you don't have to answer if you don't wish.  What was the name you would have been named?

Marzena. It's Polish, and the 'rz' is pronounced more like a French 'j'. So kind of like 'Majena'?
Dimunitive version is 'Marzenka'.

It sounds kinda cute, but I knew a girl in my class with that name when I was little and did not like her at all :P

Ah yes the associations that can sour a name forever.  I think we all have those.

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Guess why I chose my name. Hint: It's not the least bit subtle.
Actually, Madeline B suggested it. I chose it because for the obvious meaning though.

I always liked Cynthia ( was the name of a childhood friend). However, I also like Rachel. So I may change it.

Well I admit that my CIS name that I was born with begins with an L. I look at myself and see myself as male, and I just think Lenny fits me well.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on March 05, 2014, 07:22:07 PM
I always liked Cynthia ( was the name of a childhood friend). However, I also like Rachel. So I may change it.

That's my birth name. :P

well I am from a different culture so this might sound weird :D

my parents named me after batu-khan, grandson of Genghis khan, I have had countless troubles with the name in the west (too hard to pronounce) and I was pretty upset about being named after a mongol ruler. The name is just too masculine, batu would have been fine but nooo they had to stick the khan in my name too so it is batuhan

I asked my mother what she would have named me if I was born a girl years ago when I was just a little kid. It was Sevgi (love) Irmak (river) and I didnt like it at all, there was no depth, it is just too simple.

I was living in the netherlands when I finally decided to transition and I was already sick with my exotic name so I wanted to pick a western name that didnt sound too weird back at home, I considered Eileen and Miriam but both were too classic to my liking. Than IT happened, I was watching game of thrones that night and suddenly a light sparked in my head "why not go with arya?". It sounded perfect! It is still a rare and exotic name in my country which just became popular in the recent years.

My mother just hates it thou >_< She is pretty upset about me picking a name rather than sticking to her taste.

My uncle who is basically the head of the family and my biggest support says that he could never get used to calling me by that name and wants me to use "Bati" which means west. I dont like the sound of it, it is too close to my male name and is unisex, arya is also unisex in my country so I dont want to get stuck with two unisex names. I want to pick a feminine second name but it seems impossible at this moment >_<

Quote from: Laurelin on March 09, 2014, 04:22:43 PM
well I am from a different culture so this might sound weird :D

my parents named me after batu-khan, grandson of Genghis khan, I have had countless troubles with the name in the west (too hard to pronounce) and I was pretty upset about being named after a mongol ruler. The name is just too masculine, batu would have been fine but nooo they had to stick the khan in my name too so it is batuhan

I asked my mother what she would have named me if I was born a girl years ago when I was just a little kid. It was Sevgi (love) Irmak (river) and I didnt like it at all, there was no depth, it is just too simple.

I was living in the netherlands when I finally decided to transition and I was already sick with my exotic name so I wanted to pick a western name that didnt sound too weird back at home, I considered Eileen and Miriam but both were too classic to my liking. Than IT happened, I was watching game of thrones that night and suddenly a light sparked in my head "why not go with arya?". It sounded perfect! It is still a rare and exotic name in my country which just became popular in the recent years.

My mother just hates it thou >_< She is pretty upset about me picking a name rather than sticking to her taste.

My uncle who is basically the head of the family and my biggest support says that he could never get used to calling me by that name and wants me to use "Bati" which means west. I dont like the sound of it, it is too close to my male name and is unisex, arya is also unisex in my country so I dont want to get stuck with two unisex names. I want to pick a feminine second name but it seems impossible at this moment >_<

I have to say, I love 'exotic' names, they're so cool :) course, I wouldn't just pick one from another culture and be like, "Yep, this is my name now," so I chose one more familiar to my own country and culture. Have you looked on sites where people choose names for their baby? They have countless names and you can browse by origin, so you can look for a name of a certain country if you'd prefer.

I am happy with my name now ^_^ arya is just too perfect because it is also used in this culture. The only problem is that I have no control on my second name, I will have to stick with whatever the family decides to call me >_>

I considered going with Elizabeth as that is my favorite female name, but am planning on using it to replace my middle name. As I found out from my mother that I was still going to be a Toni, maybe Antoinette with Toni as my nickname. That seemed to fit best, as I am Anthony with Tony as a nickname. Plus I plan on not looking to cut from my past and it makes it super easy for co-workers, friends and family to just call me toe-knee when in doubt. So I was super lucky in some ways to have such an easy decision.

However, for your situation it is kind of wonderful for you as you can take your time and hunt for a name that is meaningful to you on a deep level.

I admit I got lucky that way too, as Antoinette which is based on the greek word for flower and Elizabeth which means oath of God. Which works great for me as I have a strong spiritual relationship with God and feel I was given a sign to transition, and in return I promise to do my best to represent transsexual women like myself in a positive "flower" like way to and for God. I know it may seem kind of silly, but that inner meaning stuff does play into my life. It always have and always will, it's a silly quirk.

So I would say to be on the lookout for names with special meanings to you, and play with them until you find something that just simply cannot be ignored or denied by your spirit/soul/ and self identity. Plus I am certain you can find lots of exotic names to fit this method, so that will make this name search FUN! It sounds like you have one kind of working for your already, so that is awesome. I look forward to seeing what it is and why you chose it!  :)

When i started therapy I was pressed to take a new name and in a hasty choice, I picked Noah / Noa, which despite the male significance, everybody reads it as "Noa", and with the 2 years letters I could update it to Noa later.


Sadly, right now it seems too male for me. I picked something neutral at a stage where I was pretty unsure about how far into transition I wanted to reach. Feeling fully female now, I am not interested in that one, although I now have documents, business card... You only get to change it once, and now I am quite unsure.

When I was ten, my mom told me I would have been named Amanda if I had been a girl; I really don't like it, though.
I've thought about being Kelsey, since I like the sound of it, and it's similiar to my birth name, but decided on Avery.
It just feels right somehow  :)

Quote from: Averycookie on March 13, 2014, 10:46:56 PM
When I was ten, my mom told me I would have been named Amanda if I had been a girl; I really don't like it, though.
I've thought about being Kelsey, since I like the sound of it, and it's similiar to my birth name, but decided on Avery.
It just feels right somehow  :)

I have a character I named Avery.  She was born with wings, and so Avery sounding fairly close to Aviary just fit.

Needless to say I like the name too.  :)

Feather is 'veer' in Dutch, and I like the name Vera, so that's my choice. It sounds lovely in Dutch.
It's 4 letters just as my boy name, and I once read that we prefer the numbers and letters that we are familiar with. :)

Even since I was little, I hated my male name very, very much... I still do... And I was telling my parents that I hate it and that it's not my name. I was maybe about 6 years old, when my mother finally asked me: "Ok, what do you want your name to be?" And I said "Alex", which is short from Alexandra, but I was afraid to tell my mother, that I think I am a girl... I don't know where this name came from... I guess I heard it somewhere, sometime, and I subconciously had chosen it... But since then, I know and feel this is my name and very soon it will be written officially on my ID :)

I chose Harper because I originally had a list of about 6 names I liked and 'tried them on'. I found the six names on a baby name site, but picked Harper because it felt right and because of Harper Lee (who was a woman, which is funny since I'm going the other way).