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Title: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: sagitilicious on March 01, 2014, 03:27:58 PM
Post by: sagitilicious on March 01, 2014, 03:27:58 PM
This is going to be hard, typing this on my phone, ever-fearful of,"browser has stopped working"
My,journey began one,day when I was 5. My uncle dressed me up in my sisters clothes. Nothing bad happened, but he just made me be a girl for a day. I grew up in a Christian home, and still am, but I didn't take all of my parents confusing ideals. They told me how gross gay was, and yet encouraged me to wear my sis nightgowns if my pjs were dirty. That stopped before 10 though. Sound baffling? I agree.
It sparked something in me. I liked the feeling. As many here also did, I started sneaking clothes, and was wondered why my clothes had to be different and why I was the only boy that liked girls garments.
I chased my female classmates around at recess and thought I Liked girls until I got online in 97. I don't know how but I innocently search-stumbled my way into the transworld. Search engines we're pretty awful back then. Innocent searches would often find porn.
I made a shocking realization that would take me a decade to fully grasp. While my mind likes girls..all girls and tgirls.. I'm only physically attracted to transgirls. I don't know why and really wish I did. Encountering transwomen online, I discover what physical attraction actually felt like.
I've had a few cis gfs in my life, and while i loved some of them deeply, and enjoyed pleasuring them because i loved them i could never get the same.. My mind loved fhem but my body did not.. I've tried to deny it for years but as we all learn the hard way.. We can change our bodies but our minds refuse to be changes. For whatever reason, I'm meant to like transgirls.
The funny thing is that i have zero attraction to guys and only desire the male role in sex.
My,journey began one,day when I was 5. My uncle dressed me up in my sisters clothes. Nothing bad happened, but he just made me be a girl for a day. I grew up in a Christian home, and still am, but I didn't take all of my parents confusing ideals. They told me how gross gay was, and yet encouraged me to wear my sis nightgowns if my pjs were dirty. That stopped before 10 though. Sound baffling? I agree.
It sparked something in me. I liked the feeling. As many here also did, I started sneaking clothes, and was wondered why my clothes had to be different and why I was the only boy that liked girls garments.
I chased my female classmates around at recess and thought I Liked girls until I got online in 97. I don't know how but I innocently search-stumbled my way into the transworld. Search engines we're pretty awful back then. Innocent searches would often find porn.
I made a shocking realization that would take me a decade to fully grasp. While my mind likes girls..all girls and tgirls.. I'm only physically attracted to transgirls. I don't know why and really wish I did. Encountering transwomen online, I discover what physical attraction actually felt like.
I've had a few cis gfs in my life, and while i loved some of them deeply, and enjoyed pleasuring them because i loved them i could never get the same.. My mind loved fhem but my body did not.. I've tried to deny it for years but as we all learn the hard way.. We can change our bodies but our minds refuse to be changes. For whatever reason, I'm meant to like transgirls.
The funny thing is that i have zero attraction to guys and only desire the male role in sex.
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: V M on March 01, 2014, 03:35:24 PM
Post by: V M on March 01, 2014, 03:35:24 PM
Hi Sagitilicious :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join in on the fun
Please be sure to review
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join in on the fun
Please be sure to review
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Hugs
V M
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: sagitilicious on March 01, 2014, 06:17:05 PM
Post by: sagitilicious on March 01, 2014, 06:17:05 PM
Thanks.
It's funny, but as you write an intro, you can regard your own life in a new light. I asked my mom if she ever knew, and why she encouraged the nightgowns or always teased me about buying a bra and making me pretty. She said she never knew and was merely teasing. I told her where my attractions lie, and she told me what I never expected:she's okay with it all as long as I'm happy
So yeah, coming out as liking transgirls probably isn't as hard as coming out as trans but I did it with one person and I feel good and yet so strange.
I know it will be hard finding such a girl but it is what it is. Real love is rarely easy
It's funny, but as you write an intro, you can regard your own life in a new light. I asked my mom if she ever knew, and why she encouraged the nightgowns or always teased me about buying a bra and making me pretty. She said she never knew and was merely teasing. I told her where my attractions lie, and she told me what I never expected:she's okay with it all as long as I'm happy
So yeah, coming out as liking transgirls probably isn't as hard as coming out as trans but I did it with one person and I feel good and yet so strange.
I know it will be hard finding such a girl but it is what it is. Real love is rarely easy
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: Jessica Merriman on March 01, 2014, 06:19:04 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on March 01, 2014, 06:19:04 PM
A big warm welcome to the family! I am so glad you found us and joined. Here you will find you are not alone and should have no thoughts of guilt or shame. All of the information you get here is provided by real people in all stages of transition and you will learn what works, or doesn't. Feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like this), learn or just have some distracting fun and meet the rest of the family. Here is a BIG HUG :icon_hug: to welcome you and make you feel at home! :)
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: Jamie D on March 01, 2014, 10:49:09 PM
Post by: Jamie D on March 01, 2014, 10:49:09 PM
sagitilicious - nice to meet you. A couple things ab out your post jumped out at me...
It sparked something in me. I liked the feeling. As many here also did, I started sneaking clothes, and was wondered why my clothes had to be different and why I was the only boy that liked girls garments.
I made a shocking realization that would take me a decade to fully grasp. While my mind likes girls..all girls and tgirls.. I'm only physically attracted to transgirls. I don't know why and really wish I did. Encountering transwomen online, I discover what physical attraction actually felt like.
It sounds as if your personal gender identity has been in the TG spectrum for quite a while. It also sounds like you are comfortable with trans*people. That understandable. We often are comfortable among our own kind, because we understand the feelings.
It sparked something in me. I liked the feeling. As many here also did, I started sneaking clothes, and was wondered why my clothes had to be different and why I was the only boy that liked girls garments.
I made a shocking realization that would take me a decade to fully grasp. While my mind likes girls..all girls and tgirls.. I'm only physically attracted to transgirls. I don't know why and really wish I did. Encountering transwomen online, I discover what physical attraction actually felt like.
It sounds as if your personal gender identity has been in the TG spectrum for quite a while. It also sounds like you are comfortable with trans*people. That understandable. We often are comfortable among our own kind, because we understand the feelings.
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: sagitilicious on March 02, 2014, 02:49:54 AM
Post by: sagitilicious on March 02, 2014, 02:49:54 AM
I agree. I could see myself as a girl. I haven't 'dressed in years but a longing is still there.
I could be happy as someone's non-op gf (I've just never considered a vagina).
However, I am content (I should have said content before but editing on this phone is hard) as guy in a hetero-ship, but my brain isn't in control as much as I'd like.
Transitioning is a journey some must endure to feel right. I'm grateful that I'm not burdened with it, i probably don't have the emo fortitude for.it.
Thank you so much.
I could be happy as someone's non-op gf (I've just never considered a vagina).
However, I am content (I should have said content before but editing on this phone is hard) as guy in a hetero-ship, but my brain isn't in control as much as I'd like.
Transitioning is a journey some must endure to feel right. I'm grateful that I'm not burdened with it, i probably don't have the emo fortitude for.it.
Thank you so much.
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurked a few months
Post by: Jamie D on March 02, 2014, 02:56:06 AM
Post by: Jamie D on March 02, 2014, 02:56:06 AM
Actually, only a small percentage of the TG/TS community feels the necessity to go through srs/grs/gcs.
But be yourself - it is the path to happiness.
But be yourself - it is the path to happiness.
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: sagitilicious on March 02, 2014, 11:05:16 AM
Post by: sagitilicious on March 02, 2014, 11:05:16 AM
That is really touching for you to say that.
Thank you ladies for being so nice to me.
Thank you ladies for being so nice to me.
Title: Re: I'm new though I've lurkeda few months
Post by: JenniferGreen on March 05, 2014, 10:46:27 AM
Post by: JenniferGreen on March 05, 2014, 10:46:27 AM
sagitilicious,
Gender and attraction is a strange old one. For me I let what I though society and others would think guide my decisions for so long. In the end it is ok to be who you are. there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Carl Yung said that we experience the world as much through emotions as we do through logic. By that equation if you do not acknowledge you're emotions you are only living half a life. Good luck with your exploration of self.
Jennifer
Gender and attraction is a strange old one. For me I let what I though society and others would think guide my decisions for so long. In the end it is ok to be who you are. there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Carl Yung said that we experience the world as much through emotions as we do through logic. By that equation if you do not acknowledge you're emotions you are only living half a life. Good luck with your exploration of self.
Jennifer