Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: immortal gypsy on March 12, 2014, 06:47:06 AM Return to Full Version
Title: how do I tell my boss
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 12, 2014, 06:47:06 AM
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 12, 2014, 06:47:06 AM
As someone who has lived in the shadows on these boards hello and I'm hoping you can help me. I work I two TAB's (I get paid to watch sports and racing) I've just started hormones through a doctor and now I'm wondering when and how I should tell my boss. Both sites I'm the 2ic and run the place when their on holidays. With the punters its about a 60/40 split with male female pronouns and the occasional female name (Natalie instead of Nat). Problem due to our work I only see my co-workers in the city for 45 minutes the one out west 10. I spend more time with the gamblers then anyone else. So how can I tell people I work with when I hardly see them. Please help
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: LittleEmily24 on March 13, 2014, 09:39:53 AM
Post by: LittleEmily24 on March 13, 2014, 09:39:53 AM
Do you ever stay in contact with them outside of meeting up in person?
Also, i'd like to add that I barely understood anything you said about your job lol, the only part I understood was you being in the shadows, starting hormones, and not knowing how to tell your boss or your co-workers.
My only advice would be to just tell them... I mean if you already started hormones they're going to find out eventually. Are you a good employee? Because sometimes your work ethic trumps most other things. As for how to tell someone, just be honest and informative. It might also help to do a search of the laws in your area because (to my understanding) some states actually have anti-discriminatory employment laws that protect you from, say, getting fired as a result of coming out, but that depends on where you live.
Also, i'd like to add that I barely understood anything you said about your job lol, the only part I understood was you being in the shadows, starting hormones, and not knowing how to tell your boss or your co-workers.
My only advice would be to just tell them... I mean if you already started hormones they're going to find out eventually. Are you a good employee? Because sometimes your work ethic trumps most other things. As for how to tell someone, just be honest and informative. It might also help to do a search of the laws in your area because (to my understanding) some states actually have anti-discriminatory employment laws that protect you from, say, getting fired as a result of coming out, but that depends on where you live.
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 09:50:03 AM
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 09:50:03 AM
Not seeing your boss & coworkers regularly can be a drawback because even subtle, slow changes you make to your appearance will be very noticeable to them.
It will really depend on your boss' attitude, are they open minded? Is there any likely impact with your job or the "customers"? Will they accept you? Like Emily said, at least brush up on your legal rights before doing so.
It will really depend on your boss' attitude, are they open minded? Is there any likely impact with your job or the "customers"? Will they accept you? Like Emily said, at least brush up on your legal rights before doing so.
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 01:02:34 PM
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 01:02:34 PM
Sorry I do have a habbit of making things confusing. With anti-discrimination the minimum I've been at one venue is two years so I'm safe there. With clothing my boss in the city sees me once a fortnight in uniform, as I come into work in uniform and get changed when I finish. Out west they see me in casual clothing (usually a baby doll cut top and skinny jeans) as I can wear jeans there so it's just a matter of changing tops. The last time we saw each other outside of work was while the place was going through a referb (I'm 30 years younger then one and the other has a new born bit hard to see them outside of work)
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 01:08:18 PM
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 01:08:18 PM
If you already wear female clothes around coworkers & work then it's probably already known to him that you are trans (or at least a little odd, LOL).
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 04:03:31 PM
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 04:03:31 PM
Sadly for me I'm leaning towards a little odd. The people who come to collect our banking call me Natalie while the boss just gives me a what the look. I can't use that as an opening as it happens during lunch and that's our busy period. The hard part for me is working out how to tell someone you work for but hardly see
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 04:13:31 PM
Post by: JamesG on March 13, 2014, 04:13:31 PM
You could write a formal letter? Call him during a slow time? Just be point blank and say, "I'm going under transition to female..." make it sound medical and lay out what that means for him and the job (not much). Make it sound like it will help you do your job better, etc. Don't go into the squishy details. He probably won't care.
Title: Re: how do I tell my boss
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 06:45:57 PM
Post by: immortal gypsy on March 13, 2014, 06:45:57 PM
Thanks for the advice I hope I can make it work.