Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: emilyking on March 16, 2014, 04:07:15 PM Return to Full Version
Title: OMG, I WAS in self denial!
Post by: emilyking on March 16, 2014, 04:07:15 PM
Post by: emilyking on March 16, 2014, 04:07:15 PM
I had a moment the ether day. I was thinking back why I waited so long, and then it hit me.
After high school, I was still working for Papa John's Pizza. I loved working there.
Two of my coworkers and I started renting a townhouse. Well, my one roommate was dumped after he proposed to his girlfriend.
A week or two latter, he jokenly asked if I wanted to have sex with him. It totally caught me off guard, and did the whole "I don't swing that way" bit, but in the back of my mind, I got excited.
Okay, so growing up I was never sexually attracted to boys or girls, and it not like I had ether asking me out ether. So when this happened I got scared. Because, my first time some one offered to have sex with me, was a boy and I wanted it, but if I wanted it, that would mean I was gay, even if I wanted to be a girl, right?
I never, had close friends, so I had no one to help me with my feelings, and just kinda slipped in denial for quite some time.
Now that I'm out, and on hrt have accepted the fact I want to be with boys. Boy do I feel stupid!
After high school, I was still working for Papa John's Pizza. I loved working there.
Two of my coworkers and I started renting a townhouse. Well, my one roommate was dumped after he proposed to his girlfriend.
A week or two latter, he jokenly asked if I wanted to have sex with him. It totally caught me off guard, and did the whole "I don't swing that way" bit, but in the back of my mind, I got excited.
Okay, so growing up I was never sexually attracted to boys or girls, and it not like I had ether asking me out ether. So when this happened I got scared. Because, my first time some one offered to have sex with me, was a boy and I wanted it, but if I wanted it, that would mean I was gay, even if I wanted to be a girl, right?
I never, had close friends, so I had no one to help me with my feelings, and just kinda slipped in denial for quite some time.
Now that I'm out, and on hrt have accepted the fact I want to be with boys. Boy do I feel stupid!
Title: Re: OMG, I WAS in self denial!
Post by: Jessica Merriman on March 16, 2014, 04:15:10 PM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on March 16, 2014, 04:15:10 PM
Quote from: Emily King on March 16, 2014, 04:07:15 PMBoy do I feel stupid!No reason to as we were all basically "programmed" by societies views of "normal". Every day since we can remember certain views were expressed every day to make us conform and never question ourselves for fear of punishment or ridicule. Cut yourself some slack and enjoy your life as the real you. You have finally escaped the Matrix!! ;D
Title: Re: OMG, I WAS in self denial!
Post by: emilyking on March 16, 2014, 04:23:13 PM
Post by: emilyking on March 16, 2014, 04:23:13 PM
Thank you, Jessica! :-)
It's so true. Every movie, TV show, and book, we see the same things.
It's even more Scarry coming from a religious background. I'm just happy, I can Now just be me!
It's so true. Every movie, TV show, and book, we see the same things.
It's even more Scarry coming from a religious background. I'm just happy, I can Now just be me!