Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: BecM on March 20, 2014, 04:49:58 AM Return to Full Version

Title: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: BecM on March 20, 2014, 04:49:58 AM
Hi,
So the other day I decided that I wanted to transition and I wrote so in a Journal that I'd started. This morning my Mum decided to read what was in that journal... Needless to say I think she got a surprise.. So her and my father had a talk during the day and when I got home from work they came into my study and told me that they knew.
They were very supportive and said that they love me no matter what and that they'd try to get a councillor for me so on so forth. Then they said that they just hoped I'd take the path of least resistance and make it easier on myself. I' not quite sure what to make of that and to be honest I'm not sure what to think of this whole situation. I didn't really want them to know yet and despite knowing what I want and really wanting it now, I'm not sure if I can do so at this stage of my life. I suppose I'm just looking for some help or advice on what to do. I want to start HRT more than anything and I want to become who I am but I don't know if I'm ready to show/tell everyone.
Anyway, thanks in advanced for anything :) Bec
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: Tori on March 20, 2014, 05:21:07 AM
Psychologist. Consider one. Teach them.
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: Veronica M on March 20, 2014, 06:07:14 AM
Quote from: BecM on March 20, 2014, 04:49:58 AM
I'm not sure if I can do so at this stage of my life. I suppose I'm just looking for some help or advice on what to do. I want to start HRT more than anything and I want to become who I am but I don't know if I'm ready to show/tell everyone.

Hi Bec,
The first thing you might think about is Therapy, and I mean that in a good way. Don't try to deal with this alone. Also you are in the right place for sure. The girls here are very supportive and we are all at different stages of our transition. I myself stuffed my emotions for over forty years and looking back, that was extremely foolish of me as there is much regret of not coming out sooner. As I will assume you are still young, so just the fact that you have your parents support is a blessing in itself. There are a lot of us that were not that lucky. Take your time, this isn't a race. With that said however, make sure this is what you want. As you progress there are things that can't be undone hence why therapy is so important. Mainly be comfortable with yourself. You are the one that has got to live with you the rest of your life so keep that in mind.

Veronica
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: kathyk on March 20, 2014, 10:08:41 AM
Talk to your parents about the counselor they want to help arrange.  Make sure they know you need a Gender Therapist and not just a counselor.  You can hold off transition for a short time, but I'll second what Veronica said, "... I stuffed my emotions for over forty years and looking back, that was extremely foolish ..".  Yup, I should have found a psychiatrist who understood gender way back then, but you can do it now. 

So, take things at your own speed and follow what fits you.  Be aware that your timeline needs to be very flexible, because you could find that it speeds way up as you become more aware of your own being.   :)
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: EllieM on March 20, 2014, 12:38:32 PM

Like Kathy said, make sure it's a Gender Therapist. Just a thought here: For me, the path of least resistance was elusive because I was in denial, but eventually, with the help of a therapist who specialized in gender issues, I found that path leads to transition. My tuppence: work with a therapist, share with us here, find your way. You are among friends, Bec :)
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: suzifrommd on March 20, 2014, 12:42:38 PM
Hmm. The path of least resistance.

When I was planning my transition, the path of least resistance was toward becoming a woman.

Anything else felt too horrible to consider.
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: stephaniec on March 20, 2014, 01:15:20 PM
I'd also consider if you start therapy to get a lock for your journal
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: Rachel on March 20, 2014, 04:20:43 PM
I second the locked journal.

As already started start with a gender therapist.

Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: Arch on March 20, 2014, 04:27:20 PM
When I was a teenager, I was terrified that people would find out how much of a "pervert" I was, so I never wrote anything down. Well, once, and I ripped it up and threw it away immediately. It was the barest hint at my internal life and used my own personal coding. Nobody would have known what it meant, but I was so scared that I couldn't even call it what it was.

I had a locking diary. I still didn't trust my mother not to read my stuff if I wrote it down.
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: emilyking on March 20, 2014, 05:31:14 PM
I spent 24 years dealing with feelings I didn't understand.  I am so glad I have a therapist.
She is really helping me, in more ways than she would understand.
Title: Re: So I accidentally came out to my parents
Post by: ath on March 20, 2014, 05:40:33 PM
I started writing in my journals in shorthand as a teen. More because of my nosy sister though lol. Then you don't even have to hide it. You can even hand it right to them and they can't understand it.