Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I started a thread in the FTM section that I'm going to outline here in a different way because I can't remember what exactly I said.

Let's say you were given a time machine, and paradoxes aren't created if you interact with your previous self. What advice would you give to your younger self (about transition)? What things should have been told to a younger you?

I'll give an example of something for myself: transition can be very slow. Be patient, things can't be made to go faster.

"You're not weird, you're not crazy or imagining it, it'll be ok...oh yeah GET TO A SODDING THERAPIST YOU MUPPET, NOW!!!!"

I would slap myself in the face and say "open your eyes you ->-bleeped-<-ing idiot"

In my teens: "school counseller NOW!"
Twenties: "You know TAB you did a world cup and a Euro by yourself for goodness sake. Take this number and call him, he will like you it pays better and you need the money to transition you peanut"

this is hard..... cause i would not give up anything that i have. and i would have none of what i have if i had started this sooner.

However, in respect to just transitioning..... "those feeling and thoughts you have..... are more then you could ever imagion. seek out a therapist now."

I would have been much more careful who I went to as a counselor. I went to 3 sessions with a counselor who claimed to be a GT but didn't know the term cisgender and then another counselor who sent me for a psych eval with a psychiatrist who I later found out believes that most trans people are delusional.

Quote from: Kaylee on March 29, 2014, 02:20:50 AM
"You're not weird, you're not crazy or imagining it, it'll be ok...oh yeah GET TO A SODDING THERAPIST YOU MUPPET, NOW!!!!"

THAT!!! ^

Quote from: Kaylee on March 29, 2014, 02:20:50 AM
"You're not weird, you're not crazy or imagining it, it'll be ok...oh yeah GET TO A SODDING THERAPIST YOU MUPPET, NOW!!!!"

ditto

I would not change a thing because no matter how small the change it may lead to life in which my children do not exist... and that is something I am not willing to even contemplate

So, yeah, regrets I have a few but then again too few to mention ... as old blue yes used to sing

Tbh, I would probably have told myself not to do it in the first place. But if I did anyway (I probably would have) I would have told myself not to chicken out like i did last september after I already started,cuz there's no going back and I just delayed the inevitable and made things harder. But I learned, so no real regrets.

See, I was miserable before but I didn't know anything else yet. If I could have found another way to live around the dysphoria that might have been preferable. But the second I chose to transition and put all that pre meditated thought into doing so, my fate was sealed and now there's no going back. That person died, the new person was born and the new one can never go home again because they/I don't belong. Which is oddly a mixture of relieving and biittersweet (sometimes more bitter, sometimes more sweet). But this is life, we make choices, which are sometimes hard, then we live with them which can be amazing/unbearable, but alwaays unpredictable

I would simply whisper: "Open your eyes, Victoria"

I think the only advice I would have given my younger self is this:

"Don't listen to me. Don't listen to the people in your life who want to make you feel worthless. Don't listen to the people who want to tell you who to be.

Listen to yourself. You have all the answers inside you. Follow your heart, not your head.

Things will happen. You'll deal with them. People will count on you. You'll help them.

Be yourself. You're better than you think you are."

well, i would have told myself to stay in school and go to college to transition away from mother rather than running away to live on my own for a while not making much progress once i got to fulltime. I would have told myself to go work for the disney college program and have a career staying on with them and moving on to management by now from doing so (and having surgery done years ago when they first started covering it)

if it was my child self, i would inform me of what was going to happen if things didn't change from the timeline i have and that I was right about myself all along and to make the most of it while time was on my side. I would make it to where i would have transitioned while still in middle school like so many of the new generation of trans folk are now able to do.

"Get a job."

I spent 9 years hiding from the planet after I turned 18. I was miserable, and too afraid to do what I had to do. Money was ever the only thing in my way. I wouldn't call it regret, as that feels pointless now, but I still frequently think back to all of the time I wasted not working toward my problem. It would have all been behind me 6 years ago.

Quote from: FalsePrincess on March 29, 2014, 02:45:05 AM
I would slap myself in the face and say "open your eyes you ->-bleeped-<-ing idiot"

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me too... LOL

Quote from: jussmoi4nao on March 29, 2014, 09:41:33 AM
See, I was miserable before but I didn't know anything else yet. If I could have found another way to live around the dysphoria that might have been preferable. But the second I chose to transition and put all that pre meditated thought into doing so, my fate was sealed and now there's no going back. That person died, the new person was born and the new one can never go home again because they/I don't belong. Which is oddly a mixture of relieving and biittersweet (sometimes more bitter, sometimes more sweet). But this is life, we make choices, which are sometimes hard, then we live with them which can be amazing/unbearable, but alwaays unpredictable

Well said... Thank you

Quote from: Nygeel on March 29, 2014, 02:01:45 AM
I started a thread in the FTM section that I'm going to outline here in a different way because I can't remember what exactly I said.

Let's say you were given a time machine, and paradoxes aren't created if you interact with your previous self. What advice would you give to your younger self (about transition)? What things should have been told to a younger you?

I'll give an example of something for myself: transition can be very slow. Be patient, things can't be made to go faster.

Do not be ashamed or filled with guilt. Go with what makes you feel happy, safe and sane. Fu*k what the rest of the world thinks.

"Get thee to HRT... now!"

* If you think you are going to fix yourself by getting married you are kidding. She is the most amazing woman in the world and by all means marry her if that's what you want to do. But you owe it to her to tell her first about you being transgender... and that it will someday be too much for you to bear.

* Get a therapist... now! Oh, and get out of there quick if it's one that is biased by their beliefs and tries to project those beliefs onto you.

Sometimes, it feels that talking to my younger self is exactly what I am doing in these forums.  I have a lot of admiration for the young women here who face their fears, acknowledge reality early in life, and so get to spend the bulk of their years living authentically.  Perhaps that is what I would say to my younger self.  Authenticity  is essential to a life well lived.

My life has  been what it was, but that doesn't dictate what it will be.  It took a long time to become me, and I don't have enough wisdom to try that again.  I regret the harm I've caused to perfectly lovely people because of selfishness and fear, I think I would counsel my younger self to not hide myself behind half truths and personnas.

I would tell myself that drugs and alcohol won't fix what ails me.  I've been clean and sober for twenty-five years, but tossed away a couple of decades in the bottom of a bottle.

I would finally tell myself, that cisman or transwoman I am beautiful and worthy of giving and receiving love, that it is OK to ask for advice and help, that whatever path my life takes - to embrace it without fear or hesitation and with acceptance and good humor.

Peace,
Julie

Depending on when I am talking to myself but teenage me. "For the love of God put the gun down, you will be lucky that it misfires.  Put down the bottle it will cause you alot of heartache in a few years  self medication is not the right choice.  GET OUT OF THE CHURCH NOW!!! They are not helping you, get a therapist.  Those feelings you have when your alone at night crying yourself to sleep will not go away but your not weak or alone.  You will start to be happy oneday when you acknowledge your feelings, and when you do it will be wonderfull, you will feel free.  Do not join the coast guard, the military is not ready for you. 
People will love you, and love you for who you really are, not just your fake public side everyone knows.

PS that floral dress you stole from your sister is tacky as heck, you have much better taste.
I love you girl (get used to it you know its true)

Along with seeing a therapist sooner, I would tell myself to take better care of my skin...

Here are the winners of every major sporting event and lottery numbers.  Oh, and by the way, you ARE a girl.