Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I really need some help, guys.  I thought maybe this forum may be the right one to post it in, since I am FTM, but if there is a better section where I'd get more help, please let me know  ;D (maybe Legal Matters?)


I graduated homeschooling back in 2011, at 17. I'm almost 20 now. For the past year, I've been preparing endlessly for college. My parents and my tutors say I'm an exceptionally bright student. At this point, I don't know what to believe.

I finally began the college application process. I took many SATs, spent months on essays, applications, etc. Applied to 13 colleges...5 of them were Ivy Leagues, the rest: NYU, Fordham, RPI, Webb Institute, Duke, and some others. A wide variety of schools. I spent tedious hours, days, weeks on my essays and questions. I had an SAT score of 2020, because it was a last minute test, and I only had a few months to prepare for it. My other SAT scores ranged from 670-740. (Not the best of course, but good enough for many schools).

I have so many extracurricular interests. I'm an aspiring genetic engineer. I am also a digital and traditional artist. I speak nearly 4 languages; English, Russian, Italian, and learning Armenian (the last two on my own). I worked as a translator and a marketing manager in several companies. I used my high school years very wisely. Yes, my scores were not the best...but I tried. I took many AP subjects and college courses while in high school, including courses students rarely take.

I have a strong, solid background... but I was rejected to every single college. Even schools with 50%+ acceptance rate. This cannot be right. It does not make sense. It's outrageous; unbelievable. All my effort down the drain. I tried so hard in high school...my parents set me on the path to know that I will be attending an Ivy League. I could not even get into RPI.

What could this be? I am turning 20 in a couple of weeks and I am nowhere. The only place that will take me is community college, or the local state school. What happened?... What do I do now? My only plan now is to attend ASU, and try to transfer to a better school next year...hopefully Columbia or NYU (I'm from NY originally)... ah, I feel done. I feel absolutely miserable.



Would any of these have an influence on my rejection?:
1) I lied on the Common App and put "No" to "Have you ever used any other names?".
2) I said I did not attend any university before, but I did for roughly 3 months before escaping it. (Full Sail). It was a load of bs, that charged me $10,000 altogether for 3 months. I took out student loans on my old name. I lied about it because I attended it on my old name, and there are pretty much no records on it...I do not want to be considered a transfer student, as it was an entirely different major, and they were unaccredited.

It is only my opinion, but #2 probably nailed you. The Government pays much more attention to student loans than they do the deficit. Until a legal name change you MUST use your legal name on any applications or legal paperwork. Next time I would seriously list any and all names you have ever used in the past. With the age of computers comes a quick way to verify any and all information given. :)

QuoteWould any of these have an influence on my rejection?:
1) I lied on the Common App and put "No" to "Have you ever used any other names?".
2) I said I did not attend any university before, but I did for roughly 3 months before escaping it. (Full Sail). It was a load of bs, that charged me $10,000 altogether for 3 months. I took out student loans on my old name. I lied about it because I attended it on my old name, and there are pretty much no records on it...I do not want to be considered a transfer student, as it was an entirely different major, and they were unaccredited.

Yep, they don't want people who appear untrustworthy.

BTW, often times you can call the admissions office to see why you were rejected. I was rejected from Boston Uni-- turns out my guidance counselor never sent in my letters of recommendation which were required.

Also, even some of the non-Ivy League schools you applied to are really good schools which are incredibly competitive. You didn't list your high school GPA, you claim your SAT scores aren't the highest (I haven't taken the SAT in like 10 years so I am unfamiliar with the present scoring system), even though you seem well-prepared in other areas, these are still cut-throat schools to get into. I knew people with 4.0 GPAs, almost perfect SAT scores who got rejected from schools like NYU and Fordham. Try applying to a few back-up schools which are easier to get into. When I was in high school, I was told to apply to at least 1 or 2 schools which would be a slam-dunk to get into, then 1-2 which are schools I'd be likely to get into, and 1-2 schools which would be quite a reach.

Good luck BearGuy, I know you've been talking about college here for awhile and I was hoping for the best for you. I feel for you, my whole college thing got completely f---ed up too and it set me back 1-2 years, however now I am doing well and succeeding in life and I know you will too. :)

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on April 01, 2014, 11:20:10 PM
It is only my opinion, but #2 probably nailed you. The Government pays much more attention to student loans than they do the deficit. Until a legal name change you MUST use your legal name on any applications or legal paperwork. Next time I would seriously list any and all names you have ever used in the past. With the age of computers comes a quick way to verify any and all information given. :)

When I applied, I already had my name legally changed for over a year, that's the thing, and I used my current legal male name on all applications, only leaving out the fact that I had a different name before  :-\ Hmm...so it could be the fact that I've already taken out student loans before, and my names mismatched? I thought only the financial aid office at the schools dealt with that, and I would receive a notification if something didn't match up. Thank you for your reply by the way!  :)

Quote from: BearGuy on April 01, 2014, 11:28:45 PM
When I applied, I already had my name legally changed for over a year, that's the thing, and I used my current legal male name on all applications, only leaving out the fact that I had a different name before  :-\ Hmm...so it could be the fact that I've already taken out student loans before, and my names mismatched? I thought only the financial aid office at the schools dealt with that, and I would receive a notification if something didn't match up. Thank you for your reply by the way!  :)

It doesn't matter that you've changed it a year ago. Denying it makes it look like you're trying to hide something.

Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on April 01, 2014, 11:27:04 PM
Yep, they don't want people who appear untrustworthy.

BTW, often times you can call the admissions office to see why you were rejected. I was rejected from Boston Uni-- turns out my guidance counselor never sent in my letters of recommendation which were required.

Also, even some of the non-Ivy League schools you applied to are really good school which are incredibly competitive. You didn't list your high school GPA, you claim your SAT scores aren't the highest (I haven't taken the SAT in like 10 years so I am unfamiliar with the present scoring system), even though you seem well-prepared in other areas, these are still cut-throat schools to get into. Try applying to a few back-up schools which are easier to get into. When I was in high school, I was told to apply to at least 1 or 2 schools which would be a slam-dunk to get into, then 1-2 which are schools I'd be likely to get into, and 1-2 schools which would be quite a reach.

Good luck BearGuy, I know you've been talking about college here for awhile and I was hoping for the best for you. I feel for you, my whole college thing got completely f---ed up too and it set me back 1-2 years, however now I am doing well and succeeding in life and I know you will too. :)

The thing is, I was home schooled throughout high school :O I didn't really have a GPA or anything like that, but I had a very strong high school transcript and all. Thanks for the tip also, I'll definitely give some a call...very good idea. I did apply to relatively easy schools (for example Fordham) but was still rejected (waitlisted specifically to Fordham). Another easier school as well said the same thing. Someone told me it definitely has something to do with my application, because I was qualified for those easier schools....hmm...

If the schools do tell you why you were rejected (not all will), and if it is just because of you not properly stating that you had a prior name and went to another university before, you should ask if you can amend your application. If you can amend it, you might be able to be put on a waitlist.

Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on April 01, 2014, 11:40:39 PM
If you can amend it, you might be able to be put on a waitlist.

Great advice from a quality person! :)

Quote from: Nimrata (aka LH) on April 01, 2014, 11:27:04 PM
When I was in high school, I was told to apply to at least 1 or 2 schools which would be a slam-dunk to get into, then 1-2 which are schools I'd be likely to get into, and 1-2 schools which would be quite a reach.

This is good advice.

And I would add that it sounds like you are limiting your options severely. There are many high-quality schools with many high-quality programs. Don't limit yourself to schools you perceive to offer prestige. A great education from a second-tier school kicks the colloquial ass of a mediocre education from a top-flight US school.

Incidentially... food for thought shameless plug: McGill University, University of Toronto, Queen's University, University of Waterloo.

Canadian schools are hidden gems: more affordable, arguably better education, high prestige, better admissions potential

Thank you everyone for the tips, I'll be up early tomorrow to start calling all the schools I applied to, and see if they can provide me with answers!  ;D

Quote from: Djynne on April 02, 2014, 12:59:14 AM
This is good advice.

And I would add that it sounds like you are limiting your options severely. There are many high-quality schools with many high-quality programs. Don't limit yourself to schools you perceive to offer prestige. A great education from a second-tier school kicks the colloquial ass of a mediocre education from a top-flight US school.

Incidentially... food for thought shameless plug: McGill University, University of Toronto, Queen's University, University of Waterloo.

Canadian schools are hidden gems: more affordable, arguably better education, high prestige, better admissions potential

I fear cold :O I used to live in Albany NY and I couldn't bear the winters there. I can't imagine how much worse it'd be in Canada o_o That's why I moved to AZ but.....okay it's too hot here. xD

Had the same issue, except I applied to slightly easier places. Stanford, Chicago, Vanderbilt, Michigan, USC, my top 5 choices, all turned me down. I then scrambled for rolling admissions schools, Penn State, MSU, and SIU. No luck with Penn State, SIU was stupid anyways (in the middle of absolutely nowhere, with an idiotic wifi policy, amongst other things,) and MSU took me on a mistake (thought my weighted GPA was unweighted, and out of 5, so they thought I had a 4.8, when that was my weighted.)  I'm pretty sure you're not in exactly the same spot, just saying the people in the offices of admissions can  literally deny you for no reason at all.

I'm sorry you're going through this. One of the biggest problems with home schooling your child through high school is that it makes it extremely difficult for them to get into a prestigious university unless they worked closely with an accredited high school for labs and certain classes and that school is able to send in records of past performance. Many of them don't and leave it on the parents of the children to keep records/send them in.

I found out my parents basically screwed me over - I was not required to take a high school level foreign language through an accredited program and there are NO four year colleges that will accept me and the local community college doesn't offer beginning classes. Unless I move to a state for a community college that will offer me that, I will never be able to attend university. THAT makes me very angry.

I'd say ask the schools and they should tell you why. It may be the name thing, it may be the college thing, and it may simply be you weren't competitive enough.

I also want to throw out there that people will tell you you're smart, but sometimes it is misleading. (don't take this the wrong way, I'm certainly not implying you're NOT smart.) I've grown up being told I'm a really bright person, and in my classes and school I AM, but compared to the entire US, I'm really just high-average. I would have no hope of getting into most of those schools you listed. You've applied to very prestigious schools, and so that is part of it. For example, some of the smartest people I know got rejected from Duke. I don't know if it'll make you feel any better, but they did have a startling 5.3% acceptance rate this year, so don't feel too down about not getting in there. Also, engineering especially is a tough field to get accepted to, but I think with many colleges (at least around where I live) the engineering is actually easier to get into as a transfer than as a new student. I don't know if you applied as an engineering student, but if you did that may have been an influence.

Quote from: CursedFireDean on April 02, 2014, 03:20:00 PM
I'd say ask the schools and they should tell you why. It may be the name thing, it may be the college thing, and it may simply be you weren't competitive enough.

I also want to throw out there that people will tell you you're smart, but sometimes it is misleading. (don't take this the wrong way, I'm certainly not implying you're NOT smart.) I've grown up being told I'm a really bright person, and in my classes and school I AM, but compared to the entire US, I'm really just high-average. I would have no hope of getting into most of those schools you listed. You've applied to very prestigious schools, and so that is part of it. For example, some of the smartest people I know got rejected from Duke. I don't know if it'll make you feel any better, but they did have a startling 5.3% acceptance rate this year, so don't feel too down about not getting in there. Also, engineering especially is a tough field to get accepted to, but I think with many colleges (at least around where I live) the engineering is actually easier to get into as a transfer than as a new student. I don't know if you applied as an engineering student, but if you did that may have been an influence.

Yea... You have to remember there are a lot of people in the world applying against you.  The names you were listing are pretty crazy prestiges schools (even if not technically "Ivy League").  Maybe you just had your sights set a little too high? 

Also, don't hate so much on state schools (its ignorant in addition to being kind of super snobby) - even community colleges.  My room mate is one of the smartest and most successful people I know, and he started out a community college (he was also home schooled, actually).  A two year start at a community college is really a fantastic and money saving option.  Then transfer up into a 4 year.  Your degree looks no different.  Many a successful person went to a state school or community college.  Also in a field like the one you're interested in your graduate level schools are going to be of much more importance than your undergrad.  Go to a state school with a good reputation for the sciences.  Find a great professor (or two or three) and try to work in their lab or impress them enough to make sure you have good references for internships, and then make good references out of those.  Build up your resume and when you graduate find a great lab position that will pay for your grad school, or go until you have enough money/experience to pay for your own grad school. 

QuoteAlso, don't hate so much on state schools (its ignorant in addition to being kind of super snobby) - even community colleges.  My room mate is one of the smartest and most successful people I know, and he started out a community college (he was also home schooled, actually).  A two year start at a community college is really a fantastic and money saving option.

I agree with gnomekid. I went to community college for 2 years, then an adult & continuing education school where I (finally) got my bachelor's degree. Now, I am in law school with students who graduated from Harvard, Yale, Oxford, and prestigious schools in Europe, Japan, and Korea. What's the difference between us? I owe only a few grad in undergraduate student loans and they owe a ton!  :D

Going to a no-name school isn't the end of the road.  :)

As a college professor and parent of homeschoolers, I would agree to attending a local, public school and showing that you can do well.  While there you can knock out a lot of the common general studies requirements and take the background courses needed for your major area.   In the long run this will likely require you to spend more time in college, but once you prove you can do the work you should be able to transfer somewhere better.

For a genetic engineer, go to a lesser undergraduate school and do really well.  Then, go to a better grad school for your masters and a good one for the PhD.  After that, go to the top tier school for the post doctorate research.  It's going to be very difficult to get a good job as a genetic engineer without research at very good school (or possibly research at a prestigious government lab).

Worked for me in Chemistry.....

Don't lie.  Did they change your SS# when you did a name change??  I'm guessing the answer is "NO".  You should check.

Hugs,

Jen