Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello everyone on here. This is my first post.

I told my only friend about my thoughts/feelings about my gender issues yesterday and wanting to transition FtM.
I am 24 and fully biologically female, but feel as a male on the inside.

I didn't tell my parents and don't want to. I have given hints to them ever since I was a child.

I really don't want to tell my siblings either.

I know they all will disown me. They have pushed me to act female and they complain all the time when I wear male clothing.
They are pushing me to look for a man to love and marry...ugh. I tried going out with guys, but I feel like I'm wearing a mask and pretending the whole time.

Anyway, I did take the first step today and called about a therapist to start my FtM transition.
I want to be a man.

A big warm welcome to the family! :) It will take no time at all for you to see this is true as we all care and want to see you succeed in life. I want to commend you for seeking a Therapist as they will help you immensely, just like mine has me. All of us here understand every feeling you just described and we do not judge or condemn you for feeling the way you do. Coming out should be a lot easier with the preparation and help of your Therapist. It will not be a walk in the park by no means, but a necessary part of transition. Feel free to rant, vent, share good news (we like that a lot), learn or just have some distracting fun and meet the rest of the family. After 15 postings you can use the PM feature to contact anyone directly for information or just talk. Here is a BIG HUG  :icon_hug: to welcome you and make you feel right at home, because you are! :)


Please review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar/post links and photos) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Age and the Forum (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,62197.msg405545.html#msg405545)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  

Welcome sir! It's great you are taking the steps to be the man you know you are. Getting a therapist is a big step forward as well as telling your friend! Congrats!

On the topic of your parents and family I completely understand that feeling. It is awful feeling that way but they may surprise you when you finally feel that you can tell them. I know mine did. Not perfect but not disowned as I believed would happen. So don't discount them just yet. Hopefully you'll be able to remove your mask soon.

Thank you so much for your welcoming words. It means a lot  :)

I have realized that life is lived once and I need to finally start living it my way as a male.
I waited too long. 24 years is too long.

Welcome, NewMaleLife!

I'm 49 and just starting myself, not out to anyone but y'all and my therapist. I think my parents will adjust. My brother might never speak to me again (fundamentalist Christian). I had my 2nd therapy session today. Hanging out here has been VERY helpful to me.

I was talking to the therapist today, and she kind of asked how I felt when I wore make-up and wore female clothes. It felt like playing a part, like wearing a costume. I'm so much more at home in my guy clothes and sitting with my knees apart, and not being "ladylike" :)

-Jay

Try to see coming out as something you do in steps.  I first came out to my friends before my family.  For me, that was the best thing I could do.  In fact, I came out to my friends years before telling my family or actualy starting my transition.  There are no rules to disclosure and you shouldn't let what you've yet to accomplish take away from your current victories.  But I do understand where you are coming from.  As long as the disclosure issue remains in some form, it kind of always looms over you.  I've been feeling that now more than ever.  However, I hope in your case it goes more smoothly than you currently are guessing.  I wish you all the luck that I can with your family!

By the way, congrats on starting your transition.  I hope it all goes well. 

Hi!

Coming out is hard but you need support from trusted people.
I did my coming out to a best friend, then my brothers (and wives), then another best friend.
My wife knew it from the very beginning.
I stopped my coming out process there until I'm moving forward.
My parents and other close friends will come next.
You should strategically choose to whom and when you are coming out.

Sonia

This forum is helping me a lot, I thank everyone on here  8)

I came out to my dad and sister yesterday.

My dad took it better than my sister actually, lol.
I see my dad on a daily basis, but my sister lives far away and I rarely ever see her. Maybe once in 2 years.

I felt a weight came off my body after I told my dad. It was a good feeling :)

I still need to come out to my brother and mom. They will be the most difficult people to tell, since they have very traditional views on gender because they are very religious.
I will wait a long time before I tell them.