Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Carbonated on April 05, 2014, 08:59:16 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Coming out at work
Post by: Carbonated on April 05, 2014, 08:59:16 AM
I'm getting back to my old job as a receptionist this monday, where they know me as a woman and use my birthname. Explaining to my boss and coworkers won't be a big problem, though I am quite nervous. The problem is, we have permanent guests (about 60) that I meet and talk to everyday. They all know who I am so how do i come out to them? And also is it accepted to correct these people since they are guests? I know that many of them won't even try to change pronouns/name. Should I just go with telling people once, and then let them decide what to call me?
I don't really know how to handle this situation.
Title: Re: Coming out at work
Post by: Samuel on April 05, 2014, 01:39:42 PM
Man, that is hard. I am going to be facing the same thing pretty soon. Changed my name first, told them that I just really hated my first name, and preferred Sam. Then I cut my hair. As people start using the new name the stubborn hangers on started feeling uncomfortable and obvious. When they heard other people using the right name, they would just have to feel it out. I won't change pronouns for quite a while, and hopefully the t will start making changes and it will start to feel more... Natural? for people to use the right pronoun than the old one.

Although I am sure some people will be assy about it.

If you have kind co workers who would be will to use the right words and name around your stubborn people, maybe they will also pick up on the right way to do things?
Title: Re: Coming out at work
Post by: Bombadil on April 05, 2014, 01:45:19 PM
I don't have any good advice but it makes me realize I will eventually be facing something similar. I think correcting them is ok, but you may also have to accept that some people won't make that transition well. Ugh. I hadn't thought about that part of it.
Title: Re: Coming out at work
Post by: Kyler on April 05, 2014, 03:09:04 PM
I have some vendors, maintenance men, etc. that met me before I came out at work (which took me like a year). I never said anything to any of them and they first started just avoiding pronouns after I started T... And now have just made the switch. Never really explained anything to any of them. I'm not sure if anyone else did either but I doubt it.
Title: Re: Coming out at work
Post by: BrotherBen on April 06, 2014, 11:59:16 AM
I would just do whatever feels more comfortable to you. If they've at least been informed once, I generally find that I'm more comfortable not correcting people. They'll get used to it eventually, but it'll take a while, and correcting people just makes things awkward. Most people will realize immediately and correct themselves anyway.
Title: Re: Coming out at work
Post by: Carbonated on April 06, 2014, 01:15:55 PM
Thank you guys, I don't know what to do yet but I'll talk to my boss tomorrow and se where it goes from there. I'll probably just go with it and let them call me by my old name if they don't accept it. Hopefully they will come around eventually.

Right now I'm excited to get a nametag with my male name on it, and also I'm pretty shure my coworkers will accept me, so I decided to be happy about that instead of focusing on the bad stuff. It's going to be wierd for a while but it's not the end of the world!