Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Sorry that this is so direct but im freaking out a bit. I had SRS in 2010 and have dilated as directed. Ive recently noticed that if i dont dialate for 3 days it is quite painful when I do even  if i use a lot of lubrication. If I do dialate frequently I notice that I am very tight and it takes a few minutes for the #3 stent ( 34mm/1.35 inches) to get in. All if this is giving me a bit of anxiety. Sad as it sounds, im still a virgin and im concerned that what im experiencing will keep me that way. im worried that maybe the neovaginal cavity opening is just small too accommodate a mans penis.

Any thoughts?

I think that's normal, in the sense that it's typical for most women to have pain and tightness if they skip a needed dilation for a while after surgery. It sounds like you're one of the less lucky ones who has to dilate more frequently than once a week or so (though I don't know your surgeon, and maybe his recommendation or technique already requires more frequently?). Right now I'm not quite 2 years post-op and tapering down to once a week, and I also have issues if I go more than 3 days between dilations. I've been assured that that will pass in time, but who knows; Brassard and his nurses conceded that some people *will* always need to do it more often than the weekly recommendation, though some few women will be fortunate enough to skip months or years.

Regardless, you won't have a problem with a man IF you keep up with dilation to the degree that you aren't finding that tightness, whatever frequency that means for you. (Even if you don't, you'll probably stretch after a little while with him, just like you do with the dilator. He'll just think you're tight, and telling him you are/were recently a virgin will explain that!) Also, keep in mind that penises are hard but not quite *as* hard as a dilator - I hear from lots of women that they can fit a man considerably larger than their largest dilator, since penises do compress a bit.