Susan's Place Transgender Resources

One of the toughest parts of my transition is not knowing any younger college age trans girls, every young trans person I know is FAAB. In that sense transition is lonely and the scene where I live sucks! Honestly I would love to know a MAAB trans person who has been transitioning awhile like I have.

Without saying where.. have you looked into finding a trans support group there at school?  Might I suggest you take a stroll down to the Pysch Dept and ask any of the professors or counselors there if they know of any groups around.  I know there is at least one at ASU.  Just an idea..   I wish you luck, hon! 

I am part of the trans community but it's pretty much all FAAB trans people

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 10, 2014, 02:56:21 PM
I am part of the trans community but it's pretty much all FAAB trans people

Yeah I go to a support group sometimes, havent been in two weeks, but it was mainly FTMs and MTFs who are transitioning and are only thinking about it. I feel so out of place. The only reason I go out all is the one moderator is really nice to me. I think she likes me but who knows. She's prolly just being nice. But if you have female friends then what's the dilly o? I guess you want someone to commiserate with. Well, what about LearningtoLive...you guys live in the same general vicinity, Great NYC near or around Long Island.

Must be nice to at least have friends. Ive pretty much  given up on trying to find local friends. Seems all I can do is, to get people interested initially then they just disappear or ignore me. I also have a joke of a local trans community in Kansas. It's very small or it's over four hours away. Count yourself lucky for having people to be with. Some of us just have this forum for social interactions. :/

You'll always be a friend to us Kyra.

Personally, my therapist has been the one to put me in touch with other like me. Transwomen in our mid to late thirties. This might be an avenue for you if your therapist is willing to help.

I have felt so alone for so long its not funny... I have been fighting this feeling of being female since I can remember and its always there i went on steroids worst mistake just made me super big and still female tattoos i purposely got to screw myself up. My therapist doesnt deal with gender issues and she didnt believe me till I went on hrt by myself and ended up in the psych ward for saying i was mtf and i had developed c cups but i was still kinda muscley... but she finally acknowldged it... as well as my psychiatrist but she doesnt deal with it either... so idk anymore... I feel like im stuck in between!

Quote from: Christine167 on April 10, 2014, 10:21:41 PM
You'll always be a friend to us Kyra.

Personally, my therapist has been the one to put me in touch with other like me. Transwomen in our mid to late thirties. This might be an avenue for you if your therapist is willing to help.

Thanks Christine  :)

The best my therapist has ever done over these past five months. Has been informing me that appling for an endo appt can take several months. I've honestly had no other benefit then hearing "yeah, ok, how do you, yodda yodda" Then I just get asked the same thing every time I visit.  She wrote my letter for hrt approval, so I guess I'm happy after spending $20 a session every week.  ???   (She makes like $120 with insurance pay every 45 mins!! I feel like I'm being robbed...)

I really like the support group I go to but I feel like no one can really relate to me there being that I'm the youngest trans girl by at least 15 years+

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 11, 2014, 02:02:51 PM
I really like the support group I go to but I feel like no one can really relate to me there being that I'm the youngest trans girl by at least 15 years+

you shouldn't feel this way. You don't get a magic card that lets you skip all the problems of being younger and go directly to your 30's and 40's. they all very much understand your situation. Just jump in and get the answers you need. They have a lot of experience like you have the experience of seeing things from your own particular perspective. They'd probably be interested in what's going on with your age level. you get the bonus of seeing future obstacles to avoid

Quote from: stephaniec on April 11, 2014, 02:14:36 PM
you shouldn't feel this way. You don't get a magic card that lets you skip all the problems of being younger and go directly to your 30's and 40's. they all very much understand your situation. Just jump in and get the answers you need. They have a lot of experience like you have the experience of seeing things from your own particular perspective. They'd probably be interested in what's going on with your age level. you get the bonus of seeing future obstacles to avoid

The thing is I really I would love to know a trans girl going through what I'm going through. Honestly I don't want to hangout much with older women, I'd rather be with people my own age. They're nice an all but I want to be with younger people.

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 11, 2014, 03:27:27 PM
The thing is I really I would love to know a trans girl going through what I'm going through. Honestly I don't want to hangout much with older women, I'd rather be with people my own age. They're nice an all but I want to be with younger people.

I don't know , for myself Susan's is the only place I associate with other trans. Most of my acquaintances come from starbucks.   

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 11, 2014, 03:27:27 PM
The thing is I really I would love to know a trans girl going through what I'm going through. Honestly I don't want to hangout much with older women, I'd rather be with people my own age. They're nice an all but I want to be with younger people.

Same here! I'm in my early 20s and really wish I had someone around my own age in transition like me. When I was a the start of transition this was something I wanted really badly but now it's getting to the point I just don't care anymore honestly. I know that until I move out of my town and somewhere west, I won't have the kind of community I've been dreaming of living in. One day though it'll happen! I'm in dire need of a fresh start somewhere new!

Gosh, Riley, I'm sorry. There's nothing quite so discouraging as feeling alone while surrounded by other people. I think everyone here can speak to that on at least some level.

Just keep putting your feelers out there- I'm sure there's someone in your general area going through the same as you. Maybe they're in Susan's already, or maybe they have yet to discover it.

And as has already been pointed out, you're not alone when you're here.

What exactly is it that you want to discuss, anyway?

Happy Friday!

-Teg

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 11, 2014, 03:27:27 PM
The thing is I really I would love to know a trans girl going through what I'm going through. Honestly I don't want to hangout much with older women, I'd rather be with people my own age. They're nice an all but I want to be with younger people.

Your welcome to pm me if want to talk about stuff. It gives us something to look forward to everyday at least. :)

Hi all, I know how many of you feel.  I'm 60 and going through transition (again).  It would be such a help to have a local mtf in transition to sit and talk with over a coffee or something.  Support groups are not local to me and my work prevents me from traveling to attend.  I was once told in a thread reference this that there should be x number of transgendered people living near me based on population.  Theories are all nice, but the reality is very different.  I'm sure there are a few in the area, but I'm guessing that they, like me, are very private and cautious about revealing themselves.  Chat, emails, etc., are nice, but honestly they are not the same as sitting down and actually talking with someone.  Back when I was seeing a therapist she never introduced me to any of her other girls, perhaps that's just not done.  Anyway, I guess we just deal with it and hope that sooner or later we'll actually meet another like ourselves.

May be an idea to check with your therapist to ask her/him, if any of the other trans girl patients in the area would like to meet.. The doc would have to ask each one during their sessions..  Might be a bit unsettling for one on one coffee meeting tho, but might be an impetus, also, for your therapist to get a support/chat group together maybe once a month..   I met up with one of my work friends who just completed her transition, for breakfast at an IHOP, where I told her of my dysphoria.  She gave me unconditional support, and names/numbers of therapists and doctors she used.  I'm seeing two of them now.

I hope you find a real friend, trans or not, to just share a coffee, look across the table and smile.  And hug genuinely, when it's time to leave.

I think there are a lot of us here going through transition that are lonely and need the interaction of others like us. I am probably one of the lucky ones as I have a pretty good support group I attend weekly. However that being said, a lot of the folks there are younger as I am in my 50's but that okay.

While I know privacy is important to a lot of us, perhaps starting a forum thread that people here can say where they are from might be in order. Just a thought... :) :) :) Then perhaps we could get together if we live close to each other. Given the meetings could be arranged via PM, I don't see the harm in something like that. I myself live in the San Diego CA. area, and would love to meet other girls here that are close by.

Disclaimer: As always one should be cautious as to internet meet ups so use common sense... :) :) :)

Quote from: Veronica M on April 13, 2014, 05:24:26 AM
While I know privacy is important to a lot of us, perhaps starting a forum thread that people here can say where they are from might be in order. Just a thought... :) :) :) Then perhaps we could get together if we live close to each other. Given the meetings could be arranged via PM, I don't see the harm in something like that. I myself live in the San Diego CA. area, and would love to meet other girls here that are close by.

Disclaimer: As always one should be cautious as to internet meet ups so use common sense... :) :) :)

Actually I was going to suggest the same thing Veronica. Starting a thread where TG MTF's can say where they are so we can maybe connect with others like us in our are area is great! Those that wish to post could say something like: "I'm in N/W Central Florida", and pm's could take it from there

Quote from: Veronica M on April 13, 2014, 05:24:26 AM
I think there are a lot of us here going through transition that are lonely and need the interaction of others like us. I am probably one of the lucky ones as I have a pretty good support group I attend weekly. However that being said, a lot of the folks there are younger as I am in my 50's but that okay.

While I know privacy is important to a lot of us, perhaps starting a forum thread that people here can say where they are from might be in order. Just a thought... :) :) :) Then perhaps we could get together if we live close to each other. Given the meetings could be arranged via PM, I don't see the harm in something like that. I myself live in the San Diego CA. area, and would love to meet other girls here that are close by.

Disclaimer: As always one should be cautious as to internet meet ups so use common sense... :) :) :)

I like this idea. Do it. :)

Engage!

-Tegs

Hey Riley,

I know the feeling as we are in a similar situation.  Every time I go to a support group, I feel very left out or different feeling.  Usually my age plays a role as there are very few girls transitioning my age, but sometimes it's other things.  All in all, you sort of feel isolated and lonely throughout the process.  And the funny thing is all the people are wonderful and accepting, but it's easy to feel like an outsider when you are different for whatever reason. While I can relate, I'm really sorry you are feeling this way and I wish I could help in some way.

Veronica M I took your idea and ran with it. Hope you don't mind. The thread is under "Male To Female Transgender Talk." Maybe you can take a look and tell me how I did? Hopefully we'll help some of our sisters get together, or find one another if they live in the same area.

Thanks in advance.

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on April 13, 2014, 11:46:37 AM
Veronica M I took your idea and ran with it. Hope you don't mind. The thread is under "Male To Female Transgender Talk." Maybe you can take a look and tell me how I did? Hopefully we'll help some of our sisters get together, or find one another if they live in the same area.

Thanks in advance.

Ally :icon_flower:

No problem... Being new here I figured it would be better received by others from someone that has been here a little longer than I have. So cool deal... I will post there for sure.

Quote from: Veronica M on April 13, 2014, 12:34:13 PM
No problem... Being new here I figured it would be better received by others from someone that has been here a little longer than I have. So cool deal... I will post there for sure.

I still gave you credit for the original idea. I was saving that to surprise you, but I just thought I'd tell ya. It's a great idea and the thread has already taken off! :icon_flower:

I feel insanely out of place at trans support groups near me.  Maybe i'm just too judgmental. But to me, they all literally look and sound like men in wigs, who talk about feminism and just wanna bash stuff all night instead of anything supportive. I cant go to them cause their behavior makes me mad.

The way this works it don't have to be a group. You could find someone, a MTF with similar interests as you and you could meet. The situation's open to any possibility. I'm not particularly fond of groups either. It's just, with the exception of my friends down south I have no other MTF's to talk to. How you work this is up to you if your interested. If not, that's OK too. I've been going it alone up until recently for quite a long time now.

Quote from: Allyda on April 13, 2014, 01:07:43 PM
I still gave you credit for the original idea. I was saving that to surprise you, but I just thought I'd tell ya. It's a great idea and the thread has already taken off! :icon_flower:

Awww.... Thank you, but you really didn't have to... Never the less it is appreciated.

Quote from: Teela Renee on April 13, 2014, 01:56:39 PM
I feel insanely out of place at trans support groups near me.  Maybe i'm just too judgmental. But to me, they all literally look and sound like men in wigs, who talk about feminism and just wanna bash stuff all night instead of anything supportive. I cant go to them cause their behavior makes me mad.

The one I go to isn't anything like that... First off it's MTF, FTM both and there is usually a topic and everyone shares. Every month there is also a social with food etc. Even though I am a bit older than most there it is very relaxing as people are very non-judgmental. 

Even though in the past I've not done well with groups (those I attended were about ptsd, not being trans) I would actually like to give a transgender support group a try. Based on how things went for me when I went to the Lake Fork Pride Fest while I was on vacation, it might turn out to be a different and beneficial experience. :icon_flower:

Quote from: Teela Renee on April 13, 2014, 01:56:39 PM
I feel insanely out of place at trans support groups near me.  Maybe i'm just too judgmental. But to me, they all literally look and sound like men in wigs, who talk about feminism and just wanna bash stuff all night instead of anything supportive. I cant go to them cause their behavior makes me mad.

Yeah, I feel a little weird when I am the youngest person in the room by far.  There are very few young trans girls that are transitioning where I live.  I know of maybe two that are around my age group that are mtf (there are plenty of younger ftms).  Though all of the mtfs I know that are older are still nice people even if it's harder for me to relate. 

Quote from: learningtolive on April 13, 2014, 02:30:31 PM
Yeah, I feel a little weird when I am the youngest person in the room by far.  There are very few young trans girls that are transitioning where I live.  I know of maybe two that are around my age group that are mtf (there are plenty of younger ftms).  Though all of the mtfs I know that are older are still nice people even if it's harder for me to relate.

Yeah there's only a few girls our age, you're in your early 20's also? I'm the farthest along of everyone I know. I only saw a couple at group, including you. It is lonely in that every group I go to all the trans women are at least 40 or so and not many pass well. I know I'm being shallow and judgmental but honestly I have no interest in being friends with someone who is old enough to be my parent. Honestly I can't relate at all with older trans women, everyone had there lives settled and the vast majority are parents before they came out and began transitioning. Those are all experiences I cannot relate with nor will I ever have. Within the next few years I will be able to live stealth and actually have a life that I will have started. I want to know and befriend someone who I can relate and get along with but alas I doubt I will. Long Island has a very spread out community and the city is too inconvenient to attend support groups in, it's out of the picture unless I move there, which I won't.

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 13, 2014, 11:53:15 PM
Yeah there's only a few girls our age, you're in your early 20's also? I'm the farthest along of everyone I know. I only saw a couple at group, including you. It is lonely in that every group I go to all the trans women are at least 40 or so and not many pass well. I know I'm being shallow and judgmental but honestly I have no interest in being friends with someone who is old enough to be my parent. Honestly I can't relate at all with older trans women, everyone had there lives settled and the vast majority are parents before they came out and began transitioning. Those are all experiences I cannot relate with nor will I ever have. Within the next few years I will be able to live stealth and actually have a life that I will have started. I want to know and befriend someone who I can relate and get along with but alas I doubt I will. Long Island has a very spread out community and the city is too inconvenient to attend support groups in, it's out of the picture unless I move there, which I won't.

Yeah, sorry in that I haven't been there in quite some time.  I'm a bit allergic to real life support groups.  although, I have seen two other transgirls that show up occassionally as well.  I'm not sure of everyone's age, though I would guess they are also in their 20s (I'm actually 25).  And I do know of another person, one of my friends, who is trans that avoids support groups.  She is stealth and all, so I'm kind of her only transfriend.   So we are out there. The thing is most transwoman tend to transition later on in life, so it's harder to meet someone in the younger demographics (not true for transmen as they tend to be younger).  And I suspect the usual setup may leave younger transwoman to find alternative support functions like online.  The one you go to isn't bad though as many of the people there are wonderful and supportive, it's just harder to relate when you are younger and/or have a different lifestyle.  For me it's even more weird because I'm no longer a kid yet I'm still not like an adult.  I'm in that mid phase where I can't relate to almost anyone in some ways.  And it does suck as my support function is almost non-existant in real life. 

In any case, chin up.  Maybe searching for camaraderie in the trans community is a bit hard, but I'm sure there are plenty of girls your age that you go to school with that you can relate with.   Maybe that can offer you what you are looking for.

I guess a big problem is we're a minority of a minority that's pretty spread out so the numbers are small . I'm sorry you have so much trouble. I'm one of the older ones who really don't have a particular need to socialize with other transgenders in particular . I'm just happy being with anyone. Actually I'm just happy doing my own thing.

Quote from: Teela Renee on April 13, 2014, 01:56:39 PM
I feel insanely out of place at trans support groups near me.  Maybe i'm just too judgmental. But to me, they all literally look and sound like men in wigs, who talk about feminism and just wanna bash stuff all night instead of anything supportive. I cant go to them cause their behavior makes me mad.

A lot of those guys are divorced or midlife crisis closeted bi-sexual cross-dressers who pay lip service to the whole trans thing. They are mostly there to act out their fetishes.

I think it's really about time the T in LGBT gets a new neighbor, such as LGBTA (for Ambiguous)

Quote from: Evelyn K on April 14, 2014, 07:26:20 PM
A lot of those guys are divorced or midlife crisis closeted bi-sexual cross-dressers who pay lip service to the whole trans thing. They are mostly there to act out their fetishes.

I think it's really about time the T in LGBT gets a new neighbor, such as LGBTA (for Ambiguous)

That could be true for some, but I think many just may still be early in their transition or perhaps they simply have a harder time passing.  It doesn't detract from their feelings even if they have a more challenging time looking the part.  That's why I've always felt for those who transition at an older age.  They are no less women, though it can be more challeging to pass at an older age. However, it is true that there are cross dressers coming to the support groups as well.  But after all, doesn't the t stand for trasgender and not transexual? I guess it depends on the group. 

I think the T in transgender is becoming too faceted. I think the T designation should be assigned to those who mediate between actual sex hormones - only.

Everything else gets swept into the Ambiguous bag (That includes Furries lol) Enough is enough already.

Being one of the older ones who had a family I can honestly say that my teens and twenties really weren't that long ago. I've really enjoyed spending time with older and younger transgender people but I guess every group is different and to some level a support group is just that a group and not a circle of friends.

I was lucky enough that my closest friends just listened and gave me a hug when I came out to them. And they shrugged & gave me the puzzled look when I told them I was worried that they would look down on me to stop being my friends. I don't dress when I'm around them yet but they have seen me in girl mode. I am getting the hint that they want me to accelerate the process so that I can get out of my funk and start this new chapter of life with a bang. A few have commented on the changes in my face and body. Others on how I carry myself and act. They accept me and few in particular have become protective of me.

I want this for all of us. Friends and family who can get behind our change and love us for who we are. Now if I can only get my job to pass some pro trans employee policies.

Quote from: Riley Skye on April 13, 2014, 11:53:15 PM
Yeah there's only a few girls our age, you're in your early 20's also? I'm the farthest along of everyone I know. I only saw a couple at group, including you. It is lonely in that every group I go to all the trans women are at least 40 or so and not many pass well. I know I'm being shallow and judgmental but honestly I have no interest in being friends with someone who is old enough to be my parent. Honestly I can't relate at all with older trans women, everyone had there lives settled and the vast majority are parents before they came out and began transitioning. Those are all experiences I cannot relate with nor will I ever have. Within the next few years I will be able to live stealth and actually have a life that I will have started. I want to know and befriend someone who I can relate and get along with but alas I doubt I will. Long Island has a very spread out community and the city is too inconvenient to attend support groups in, it's out of the picture unless I move there, which I won't.

Well, why go at all? Most of those people have jacked up lives that have all sorts of complications and things. They need support. If you're young, pretty and have your whole life ahead of you, go out and live it. Go places younger people go. Go to bars and restaurants and sports and all that stuff. It's the easiest thing in the world to find. Because if the excuse is "they're all old and ugly and I don't want to be friends with them anyway" then maybe they don't need you either. Hell, they probably resent it.

I get that attitude sometimes. I'll say something in my group and one of the older girls will make some snide comment under her breath or interrupt me and it's annoying. It's not everyone of course, most of them are really nice and I value them greatly, but there are always 1 or 2 bitches. I never say anything back though. I try not to be disruptive IRL.

But I've found the trans community is always in flux with people moving in different stages and on different paths and that people come and go quickly. And not everyone goes on a regular basis so it can be a while in between seeing people and if you're not there then you can miss them easily. The trans people I know that have been friends with each other a long time, they're old. They met a long time ago. They've seen hundreds of younger girls come in and out of their group.

Quote from: TiffanyT on April 14, 2014, 11:53:17 PM
Well, why go at all? Most of those people have jacked up lives that have all sorts of complications and things. They need support. If you're young, pretty and have your whole life ahead of you, go out and live it. Go places younger people go. Go to bars and restaurants and sports and all that stuff. It's the easiest thing in the world to find. Because if the excuse is "they're all old and ugly and I don't want to be friends with them anyway" then maybe they don't need you either. Hell, they probably resent it.

I get that attitude sometimes. I'll say something in my group and one of the older girls will make some snide comment under her breath or interrupt me and it's annoying. It's not everyone of course, most of them are really nice and I value them greatly, but there are always 1 or 2 bitches. I never say anything back though. I try not to be disruptive IRL.

But I've found the trans community is always in flux with people moving in different stages and on different paths and that people come and go quickly. And not everyone goes on a regular basis so it can be a while in between seeing people and if you're not there then you can miss them easily. The trans people I know that have been friends with each other a long time, they're old. They met a long time ago. They've seen hundreds of younger girls come in and out of their group.

good advice .

Quote from: TiffanyT on April 14, 2014, 11:53:17 PM
Well, why go at all? Most of those people have jacked up lives that have all sorts of complications and things. They need support. If you're young, pretty and have your whole life ahead of you, go out and live it. Go places younger people go. Go to bars and restaurants and sports and all that stuff. It's the easiest thing in the world to find. Because if the excuse is "they're all old and ugly and I don't want to be friends with them anyway" then maybe they don't need you either. Hell, they probably resent it.

I get that attitude sometimes. I'll say something in my group and one of the older girls will make some snide comment under her breath or interrupt me and it's annoying. It's not everyone of course, most of them are really nice and I value them greatly, but there are always 1 or 2 bitches. I never say anything back though. I try not to be disruptive IRL.

But I've found the trans community is always in flux with people moving in different stages and on different paths and that people come and go quickly. And not everyone goes on a regular basis so it can be a while in between seeing people and if you're not there then you can miss them easily. The trans people I know that have been friends with each other a long time, they're old. They met a long time ago. They've seen hundreds of younger girls come in and out of their group.

I go still be not only is it my only community so far but I've a meet some really great people there. Yes I don't now other trans girls my age that doesn't mean there aren't others. We are basically family at the group and have been helping each other so much plus I like hanging out with the few friends I've made. I'm still needing some support as I am still doing a lot with my transition. Without this group I would only have two friends right now and would be a horrible mess. I need to find others as well but I have no clue where I can go in the gay community. There doesn't seem to be anything here and my aspergers doesn't help much either.